Endings and beginnings

Today is the last day of 2019. It’s the eve of a whole new year, and a whole new decade. This is a perfect day to set aside a few minutes to reflect. 

What was happening in your life a year ago? 

What has happened in the last 12 months? When you slow down and think about it, there’s a lot that happens in 365 days. And when we rush through those days we tend to miss the insights just waiting for us.

What has changed, and what has not changed — for better or worse? Are you ready to make some changes? Are there things you wouldn’t change for the world?

What memories are you savoring? What about your recollections fills you with gratitude? 

Now, stop and think about where you were at the close of 2009. You were about to step into a new decade. What’s happened in your life over these 10 years?

When I took time to go through this list of questions, I was amazed to think about the big changes I’ve lived through in the last decade. I could not have imagined my life now when I was on the eve of 2010.

The next questions you may want to ask yourself are big ones:

What are your dreams for 2020? 
What do you yearn to create in your life in the new decade that lies ahead?

Visualize those things, savor the vision, and believe. 

You came into the world (as we all did) with the capacity to be a powerful creator. Why not create the life you dream of? 

Start small, and keep moving. 

This is a big beginning!

Sending you love and wishes for a wonderful new year.

My holiday gift for you

Whether you are busy cooking, or traveling, hanging out and relaxed, or stressed over last-minute tasks as this email catches your eye, the holidays are impacting all of in us in one way or another.

I have a few wishes — and invitations — for you right now (that I welcome you to share as widely as you like).

I wish you holidays filled with light and love.
I wish you time to savor all that is wonderful in your life.
I invite you to create space to contemplate what you truly want.
I invite you to look for opportunities for rich conversations.
I invite you to create from the energy of whatever emotions show up, in any way you are moved to do that.
I invite you to bring play and laughter into your life.
I invite you to remember the importance of self-care, and do something special for yourself every day.
I invite you to slow down so that everything will be easier (and better).
I wish you happy anticipation about the possibilities that lie ahead for you.
I wish you willingness and commitment to pursue what deeply matters to you.
I wish you peace and joy.

Sent to you with love and gratitude.

Can you simply pause?

This is such a busy time of year!

Year-end work demands, coupled with holiday parties, selecting gifts for people we love, planning for celebrations with family and friends, cooking, possible travel, and more, can feel like too much to juggle.
It's just at hectic times like these that we most need to pause. 

It sounds simple, and yet stopping to pause is something most of us fail to do.

The power of a minute or two to simply sit and breath is remarkable.

And, it feels daunting to so many of us.

Even when you set an intention to pause a couple of times in your day, you may be so busy you don’t actually take those pauses. So, here’s how to get started.

I suggest you schedule a couple of 2-minute pauses in tiny windows between activities to get started making this a practice.

When the appointed time arrives — or if you simply know a pause will help in the rush of your day — find a quiet spot and set a timer. And if a quiet spot is not available (say, you’re in a busy airport), go for it where you are!

You might want to pause for one minute, or two minutes may sound great. Knowing the timer is on will keep your mind from wondering how long it’s been. 

Take a big shrug, then release and relax your muscles. And breath.

That’s it. Nothing special, no mantras required. Just get quiet.

When your timer goes off, see if you can bring some of that quiet feeling into your next task or conversation.

If you try this for a few days and find it as helpful as I do, you will likely find yourself taking these pauses more frequently. And you’ll reap the benefits in lots of ways.

Leave a comment to let me know how this works for you. 

An important time for reflection

Last week I wrote to urge those of us (myself included!) who drive ourselves hard, and sometimes find ourselves drained and lacking motivation, to ease up on the struggle. (If you missed it, scroll down to the December 4 post below.)

If you have started to focus on the ideas in that post, I hope you are feeling a shift already.

And, if you want to take things a step deeper, I invite you to do some end-of-year reflecting in the coming weeks.

Why?

Because when we create space for refection we learn so much. And, that learning will impact the new year — and 2020 will be here soon!

This is a great time to pull out your favorite journal and take a few minutes each day for reflection.

Here are some good questions to explore

1. What are 10 things I can celebrate that I accomplished this year?

We typically rush from day to day and week to week without slowing down to acknowledge ourselves. This is a perfect time to reflect on the year and take note of things — big and small — that you can celebrate. And be sure to note why each was so terrific. (This is great brain training!)

2. What can I release or replace to open space for more growth, healing and happiness in 2020?

Simply ask this question and let yourself write freely. You may note insights related to habits, patterns, relationships, allocations of time and energy, obligations you’ve tolerated, and more.

Surprises may show up in your rambling notes, as well as issues you know need attention. Don’t overlook small things that may be easy to brush off as unimportant. Those “small things” can have a big impact on your wellbeing.

And it’s worth including reflections about how those things have limited you, been a challenge, or caused unnecessary struggle or pain. Do you realize that you feel drained after every conversation with a particular person? Can you describe the consequences each time your work stretches into the evening hours?

These observations will help you to be clear about changes you want to make in the new year.

3. Where can I find support or resources to help me make the changes I want?

If you have been reading my Big Ideas for a while, you know how strongly I advocate for asking for help and support. This is typically hard for many accomplished women (and men). What I have learned, and what I see with my clients all the time, is that reaching out for help is the path to faster, easier resolution of all sorts of challenges.

Write about all the options you can explore for support.

4. Imagine December 2020, and what your future self will report back to you.

Envision the future you, a year from now. Ask your future-self about how she grew and changed over the year. What did she do to get support? What actions did she take? What did it feel like to commit to her growth and expansion over time?

You can also ask:
What results did she experience?
What is she celebrating?
What advice can she offer you?

Taking a little time each day for a reflection practice will make the last weeks of 2019 your onramp to a great new year.

Leave a message, or email me, to let me know what this process has brought to light for you. And if you added more questions for reflection, I’d love to hear those, too.

A time for self-awareness and self-care

I hope your Thanksgiving was filled with love, gratitude and good company.

We are now at the start of a new week, and a new month. It’s December — the last month of 2019, and the last month of this decade!

You may feel inspired and fired up as you think about the ways you want to end the year and move into the new decade. If so, go for it!

And… I am hearing from many of my clients and acquaintances that they are feeling pressured, and many are finding motivation hard to come by.

If you relate to feeling a lack of motivation to go big right now, it’s easy to start beating yourself up.

But I invite you to consider that there’s another way to look at things.

Give up the struggle

The idea that you are a slacker if you are not always in high gear, feeling fired up, and planning and doing on a grand scale, is fueled by external messages.

We are bombarded with advice on how to “crush it” — crush our goals, crush it at work, crush our workouts at the gym. The language itself is enough to stress you out.

And, you may be wired to push yourself hard. I’m all for high standards and commitment, but many of us hear a persistent inner voice that propels us to go way overboard, and belittles us when we don’t.

Especially as we head into a busy holiday season and the end-of-year demands at work, this is the perfect time to be gentle with yourself.

Pushing too hard is counterproductive

When you try and muscle through, you not only exhaust yourself and feel awful (physically and/or emotionally), you are likely to get less done.

When you slow down and focus on something important (rather than lot of things and at a frantic pace), you will get more done. I had a hard time believing it would work, until I tried it.

Now, when I feel overwhelmed, I choose something that is deserving of my attention. I put everything else aside for a while. I gently bring my focused attention to that effort. The results of taking this approach are always terrific, and so satisfying.

Listen to your body and your emotions

If you feel the need to slow down, by all means build in time for more rest, more thoughtfulness, more time with cherished people, more ease.

The messages you receive from your inner voice and your intuition are always reliable. Our bodies may demand that we slow down, too. If we are not tuned in and responsive, a GI upset or nasty cold may show up and force us to slow down.

Self-care is rarely high on our to-do lists, but it’s so important! No matter how much there is to be done, be sure you honor yourself and build self-care into your days.

This is a time to create with intention

When a lack of motivation or the need to take things a bit slower shows up (and your self-care plan for a soak in the tub, savoring a soothing cup of tea, taking a nap, or going for a walk is in place), try adopting a new approach.

Think about what you desire. What is important right now? What matters? You may want to do some journaling to explore ideas. (And if you’ve learned it, put my Discovery Dozen™ exercise to work.)
Then gently bring your focus to that matter. If you feel clear about the steps to take, start in slowly and with focus. Acknowledge yourself for taking a small, doable step. Then take the next one — and acknowledge yourself again.

If you are unsure about what you want to focus on, get curious. What are the options to consider for moving ahead? With an idea or two, ask: What interesting approaches can I devise to test out this idea? This is a moment to bring creativity forward and explore possibilities.

Commit to making a small effort and seeing how it works out. Celebrate the wins, and adjust course when better ideas and new insights emerge.

And continue on the path — gently.

You don't need to struggle. Momentum will build naturally.

I’d love to hear about how you are feeling now, and what you want to approach with ease. Leave a comment below.

And if you are looking for clarity, focus, momentum and accountability in your life, let’s talk. I will be enrolling a new group coaching program early next year, and it may be the perfect opportunity for you as we move into 2020. I’ll be happy to tell you about it.

How will you express thanks this year?

This is the week that families and friends gather for the annual big day of thanks (in the US).
My invitation to you is to consider what you can do this year to infuse the lovely Thanksgiving holiday with extra meaning — and some creativity.

• You might write a short sentence or two of appreciation for each person at your Thanksgiving meal, for them to find in a note on their plates as they sit down at the table.

• You might create a space to meditate — alone or with others — to find true quiet, be fully present, and deeply feel into gratitude.

• You might create a new dish to serve that brings in the culture of a friend or guest who hails from a faraway place.

• You might introduce a visual or sensory surprise. Maybe an unexpected color scheme for the table, or unique ways to present and serve the food, or distinctive flowers, a humorous theme, hats for everyone to don, fun or inspiring music... there are endless possibilities.

• You might plan a pre- or post-meal walk in a beautiful spot, rather than spending the entire day inside.

• You might include a volunteer activity in your plan for the day.

• Each person might share a special Thanksgiving memory.

• You might ask each person at your table to express both gratitude and a message of love.

Ideas like these can be the start of new rituals that will enrich your annual holiday for years to come.

I’d love for you to share your favorite ideas — old or new — for bringing more gratitude, love and creativity to this special day. Leave a comment below.

And, I invite you, if you don’t already do so, to create a practice of gratitude for every day of the year. If you are curious to know more about the power of gratitude, check this out.

I am deeply grateful for all of my readers, for the people who have attended my workshops and participated in programs I’ve led, for those who have entrusted me to be their coach, and for my collaborators, co-creators, teachers and guides.

I’m sending thanks to all of you, and wishes for a Thanksgiving holiday filled with bountiful love.

A little poetic inspiration

When my boys were small we had a wonderful nightly bedtime reading ritual. Some of my dearest memories of those evenings when we snuggled in closely, chose what to read aloud, and then savored each story and poem.

Poet Shel Silverstein was a favorite of both of my boys. And one of the poems we never got tired of was this one.

I could not have foreseen then, that my work would one day be centered on the power we each have to create the futures we dream of — that we each possess enormous creative capacity, and we can be unstoppable when we believe in it and tap its full potential.

Listen to the MUSTN’TS

Listen to the MUSTN’TS, child,
    Listen to the DON’TS
    Listen to the SHOULDN’TS
The IMPOSSIBLES, the WON’TS
    Listen to the NEVER HAVES
Then listen close to me —
    Anything can happen, child,
ANYTHING can be.

– Shel Silverstein, Where The Sidewalk Ends

Poetry to open your heart

Poetry is magical. I am in awe of those who use words to they elevate ideas and communicate directly with our hearts. Here’s a favorite, and I will share others from time to time.

Reading powerful poems has inspired me to write my own, too.

Why not play with words to express what you are feeling and thinking? Your poems need not rhyme. Simply start with an idea or emotion and see what emerges as you chose and arrange words with brevity, playfulness, fresh imagery, and joy.

True Joy

Release the past
Release the pain
Look forward
Smile

This place
Is where I’m meant to be
My true calling
My destiny

To be in joy
To bring on joy
To celebrate
Me

Excited
Amazed
Open
Is who I want to be

Ready for a
New adventure
Diving into the unknown
Rising
Up
Up
Up
And taking the world
Along for the ride.

– Peleg Top

Has the time come to change a relationship (or two)?

In my recent post, I encouraged you to think about the people with whom you spend time. I asked you to think about who lifts you up, and if there are relationships you find challenging, or downright unhealthy.

I provided some guidance for how to think about people on the difficult end of that spectrum, if any come to mind.

Check it out, in case you missed it.

After providing some mindset scaffolding to help you consider what can be an uncomfortable issue, I posed two questions to ask yourself if you determine that making a change in the relationship will be in your best interest — if, like a tree or shrub, some pruning of the relationship is called for.

Here are the questions I offered for you to consider:

• Do I want to set a boundary, so that I will stay in contact with this person, but with less frequency?
• Is it time to disengage from this person completely?

Depending on which question you answered with a “Yes,” here’s how you can take action.

How to lovingly set a boundary on the number, or frequency, of interactions you have

Perhaps you are weary of daily calls, frequent texts, or a routine way of getting together with someone. (This could be anything from an obligatory weekly meal to an annual outing that you are ready to move on from.)

If you’ve concluded that staying in the relationship would be fine if the times and ways you connected were less intrusive, initiate a change. Think about how much happier you will be after setting better boundaries.

Plan to have a brief conversation

It may feel harder to speak with someone than to send a letter or an email. But this is a relationship that has a degree of importance to you (or you would opt to end it), and a conversation honors that. Further, sending a written message can be tricky, as the tone you intend to convey may be misconstrued by the reader.

Thoughtful preparation is in order. This is an opportunity to think creatively about the change you want to propose.

You might say that while you value the relationship and want to stay in touch, you are focused on important commitments in your life and you need to switch to a monthly or seasonal check-in — or some other proposed change.

Well in advance of an unappealing annual event, you can let that person know that your plans have changed this year, or that your time together will be shorter, or that you have an alternative location to suggest — or some other idea for how to stay connected.

Keep your communication simple and direct

Don’t allow yourself to be pulled into drama, if that shows up. Focus on love for yourself as well as for that person, and loving energy will come across.

When it’s time to disengage from a relationship and move on

If you realize there's a toxic dimension to being in relationship to this person and you’d be happier and healthier without them in your life, this is the time to initiate a change.

Your message can be expressed with kindness

While a conversation is often ideal, written communication can work as well, or may be better. Base your decision on the approach that will work best with that person, and try not to let fear enter into your reasoning.

Stay clear of drama. Calmly communicate that you need to take an extended break, or that it's time for you to move on from the relationship. It’s not necessary to over-explain or to be accusatory — focus on your need to make this change. As noted above, keep the communication simple and direct, and keep love in your heart as you speak or write.

Will it be easy to initiate changes like these?

Depending on the relationship you are thinking about, it may call on you to dig deep for courage — and a commitment to your own needs — to take a step like this.

And, it may be easier to make this change than you imagine.

If you are wavering, consider this important question:

Do you value yourself enough to take this step?

This question may touch a nerve. I have been there, and I’ve guided many of my clients to take courageous action like this.

It helps to think about how you will feel after you’ve moved ahead.

Envision the benefits of making this change

As I have experienced and seen many times, being on the other side of making a change that you are called to initiate is a great place to be. It opens space and possibilities and opportunities. It brings a feeling of lightness into your life.

And you will experience your ability to do something important, that will help you take more courageous action in the future.

I hope you will choose to surround yourself with people who truly support you, believe in you, and want only the best for you. Pruning unhealthy relationships has terrific rewards — and will set the stage for you to thrive!

Leave a comment below if you have thoughts to share about this subject.

And, if you want to talk about what it could look like to have support to bring important changes like these into your life, let’s schedule a call and talk about that (it’s a complimentary call). Start by answering some questions, so I’ll know more about what’s on your mind, and we’ll get the process started.

The people around you

Take a minute and think about the people with whom you spend time.

Why is this important?

The energy of the people around you has an impact — on your mood, your confidence, your outlook and your overall wellbeing.

And you get to choose with whom you engage.

Sure, there are some people in your life who may challenge you and with whom your connection is somewhat fixed. Family members, neighbors, and coworkers come to mind. Even in such relationships, making adjustments to the way you engage is possible.

I have had many clients, all accomplished women, tell me they have hung on to — and tolerated — relationships and “friendships” that drag them down. People who are needy, or judgmental, or envious (if not jealous), and who are takers more than givers. Some of those people demonstrate resentment for the positive changes they see my clients making, and are subtly critical, or try and seed doubts.

We’ve all had people like this come in and out of our lives.

If a relationship with such a person has been in place for a long time (a childhood friend, a pal from college, a colleague from the past) — or even with someone who recently came into your life — it’s easy to feel stuck with it. You may feel guilty just thinking about initiating a change.

But you owe it to yourself to change things that impede your ability to live your best life. And sometimes that means pruning relationships.

Pruning a shrub can mean cutting it back to make it healthier. And sometimes the shrub needs to be replaced, or needs to be removed for more light to fill your garden.

And so it can be with relationships.

Here’s what to do if you are thinking of someone who is not a positive force in your life.

Start with some mindset work to help you get clear

Set aside some time to get clear about the issues you have with that person. You need to be honest about problematic issues.

Self-love will help if you find yourself feeling uncomfortable embarking on this process. Check out some self-love information and advice I've shared before and see how focusing on some solid self-love can help you navigate this exploration.

Next, try this process

1. To take an honest look at the concerns you have about your interactions with this person, make a list or do some free writing to pour out your thoughts. Fill a page or two with everything on your mind.

2. If you determine that this relationship is sub-optimal, it’s time to get really clear about how making a change in the relationship will support your wellbeing.

A good way to do that is to make a new two-column list. On the left side, write the costs to you of staying in relationship with this person as you are now. On the right side, list the benefits you will experience if you initiate a change.

3. If you are clear that you would be better off without the negative impact of a trying relationship, and are willing to make a commitment to initiate a change, consider asking yourself these big questions:

Do I want to set a boundary, to stay in contact but with less frequency?
Do I want to disengage completely?

These questions may make you feel a bit shaky. Just sit with them for now. You do not need to rush into action, or fuss about what action to take.

I will guide you to moving forward on a pruning process — to set new boundaries, or to disengage — in my next post.

Until then, leave a comment me and share what insights you have about the people with whom you are choosing to surround yourself — in every part of your life.

Who are the people who truly support you, believe in you, and want only the best for you?
And who may need to be pruned to allow you to truly thrive?

Music to open your heart

Ah, inspiring music.

A list of favorites could be enormous , but if I had to choose just one song, it would be John Lennon's Imagine.

I am also a huge fan of David Byrne, and adored experiencing his new America Utopia creative tour de force. (If you have the opportunity to see it, go!)

What music or artist is at the top of your list — and why?

What do you listen to to get inspired? energized? to relax?

What are your top-10 favorites?

Please share!

A simple morning check-in can have a big impact

A client recently mentioned that she starts each day with this question:
How do I want to treat myself today?

I have been asking myself a variation of this question each morning, that was suggested to me be a colleague:
How do I want to feel at the end of the day?

And here are a few other great options to consider as you start your day:
Who do I need to BE today?
What is most important for me today?
How can I slow down today?
How will I acknowledge myself for [ fill in the blank ]?

Starting the morning with a good question like one of these sets you up for a day of intention. Rather than simply drifting through the hours, you will have more focus.

Why not pick one that feels appealing and ask it of yourself each morning this week?

You may want to switch around and see which question works best for you, or set a rotation of questions to use during the week.

And at the end of your day, make a note about how the question had an impact. You are likely to experience important shifts as you bring more focus into your daily life.

Email me, or leave a comment with other good questions you’ve used at the start of your day, and to share the impact of this practice after you’ve tried it.

Just as my client told me about the way her question has been a game-changer, we can all learn from one another and inspire each other when we share great ideas.

Looking for TED talks related to creativity and living big? Start here!

There are countless terrific TED talks and videos that are interesting for inspiration and information, and are fun to explore.

Here are a few that I highly recommend. Dive in to one that jumps out at you, and return to this list for new options from time to time.

Brené Brown is my hero. She is brilliant, inspiring and a fantastic presenter. She has helped millions of people to understand that when you allow yourself to be vulnerable it leads to living a whole-hearted, rich life. 

1. TEDxHouston, Listening to Shame (2010)

2. TED (2012) — her follow-up talk on Listening to Shame

3. 3. If you can’t get enough, also listen to her RSA talk on The Power of Vulnerability

4. And, you can learn about RSA here.

5. Brené has continued to provide a huge number of books and content. Google and explore more of her work!

---

Check out incredible examples of How Frustration Can Make Us More Creative. The stories that Tim Harford shares will blow you away — and inspire you to bring the power of these surprising approaches into your life!

---

David Kelley is the co-author of Creative Confidence. His TED talk, How to Build Your Creative Confidence, will whet your appetite for the excellent book that David co-authored with his brother, Tom Kelley.

---

Shawn Achor’s TED Talk, The Happy Secret to Better Work is a great talk about happiness and includes wonderful, simple ways to increase happiness.

---

Neil Pasricha presents an inspiring TED talk called The 3 A's of Awesome. If you’re wondering about the power of gratitude, this is just the ticket.

---

This video of John Cleese giving a lecture on Creativity is simply brilliant. He presents 5 factors to make your life more creative, and does so with his signature humor and great insight.

---

Jill Bolte Taylor’s TED talk, My stroke of insight, is a fascinating and enlightening talk by a brain scientist who had a massive stroke and lost the facilities in the left hemisphere of her brain. Her description of what she experienced as the stroke began, and what she learned about how the right and left hemispheres of all of our brains work, are specific and amazing. You may also want to listen to her narration of the audio book, My Stroke of Insight.

---

Sir Ken Robinson’s TED talk is titled Do Schools Kill Creativity?. He has a breezy style while sharing big, thought-provoking ideas. He makes a compelling case that creativity is as important as literacy, describes the way we “grow out” of creativity as we go through the educational system, and much more.

---

Another TEDx talk brilliant extends some of the ideas in Sir Ken Robinson's TED talk, but with a unique spin. Then 13-year-old Logan LaPlante brilliantly made the case for (and shared components entailed in) Hacking Education for a Happy, Healthy Life. He shares great ideas about creativity, too.  

---

J.K Rowling first focused on the benefits of failure, and then the importance of imagination, in her commencement speech at Harvard in 2008. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

---

In her TED talk, Your Elusive Creative Genius, Elizabeth Gilbert (author of the best-selling book Eat Pray Love) reflects on the expectations for artists and geniuses in the wake of unexpected success. She shares her compelling experiences about what it's like for her to create, as well as her engaging ideas about how creativity works.

---

I was delighted to receive a link to this TEDx talk, Simple Gratitude, by Louie Schwartzberg, who is an award-winning filmmaker after writing my blog post on gratitude. His talk addresses  — and shows — the majesty and impact of nature, and how it sheds light on happiness. The bottom line is all about gratitude.

---

Elizabeth Lesser’s TED talk, Say Your Truths and Seek Them in Others, is filled with compelling stories and great wisdom about the healing that happens — and love that grows — when we courageously speak our truth.  

---

Leave a comment with other inspiring, creatively-relevant TED talks you love!

The power of a great quote

If you have perused my site, you have doubtless found many of my favorite quotes that relate to creativity. Because of the narrow format in the sidebars where they reside, I chose short quotes to share.

This longer one is a favorite and its message is so important.

A wonderful quote from the brilliant Anne Lamott 

”Oh my God, what if you wake up some day and you‘re 65, or 75, and you never got your memoir or novel written; or you didn’t go swimming in warm pools and oceans all those years because your thighs were jiggly and you had a nice big comfortable tummy; or you were just so strung out on perfectionism and people-pleasing that you forgot to have a big juicy creative life, of imagination and radical silliness and staring off into space like when you were a kid? It’s going to break your heart. Don’t let this happen."

How do you relate to this?

How can you live your biggest, juiciest life today — even in one small way?

Books I love and recommend, plus a few cool articles

There are new books and articles published all the time, and lots of great staples related to creativity. Here are a few of the books that connect to expanding creativity that I find myself returning to — and recommending to my clients — over and over.

The Artist’s Way
Julia Cameron

Creative Confidence: Unleashing the Creative Potential Within Us All 
Tom Kelley and David Kelley

The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles
Steven Pressfield

Making Art a Practice: 30 Ways to Paint a Pipe (How to Be the Artist You Are)
Cat Bennet

---

Paul Graham's article, How to Do What You Love, is candid and brilliant, with clear thinking about how we come to comprehend the concept as children, the traps of prestige, the impact of money, and the power of always producing. (“‘Always produce’ will discover your life’s work the way water, with the aid of gravity, finds the hole in your roof.”)

This recommended article is actually an NPR story about the way that Texas musician Bob Schneider started “The Song Game” with other musicians. It has helped all of them to beat procrastination, ward off self-criticism and create brilliantly. You can read the story but I recommend you also listen to the way it aired. You'll be inspired!

A short article with some sound tips you may appreciate is 7 Steps You Need to Take to Be Creative at Work. A companion article is 6 Ways to Be Creative Absolutely All the Time.

Another short article with some sound tips you may appreciate is 7 Steps You Need to Take to Be Creative at Work. A companion article is 6 Ways to Be Creative Absolutely All the Time.

I’d love for you to comment below and share your favorite books, as well as articles you’ve found with big, inspiring ideas about creativity.

5 questions to ask yourself now

Asking yourself good questions is a great technique for getting clear and getting real. Here are five questions I ask my clients — and that I take time to answer for myself — each time we transition to a new quarter. This practice is a great way to check in four times during the year and take stock.

1. Am I being real?

Are you showing up fully and authentically? Or, are you trying to be what you think people expect you to be, or want you to be? Maybe you are afraid to show the world (or segments of the world) your true self — afraid you’ll be “too much,” unliked, or are simply uncomfortable being seen.

If your answer is less than a whole-hearted YES, think about why you may be holding back.

What to do next: If your answer was, "No," consider how you can make a small change, to show up as your true self in a particular situation. Starting with a small effort lets you test this out, and from there you can consciously bring more of yourself into all parts of your life.

2. Am I letting fear take the reins?

This is a big one for all of us. Taking a clear-eyed look at where you may be operating based on fear lets you consciously make shifts that can have a profound impact.

Most of what we fear is not perilous, and can be overcome with clear perspective and getting support.

What to do next: If you are holding back because you are afraid to fail at something new or challenging, try taking baby steps to test the waters.

If you are afraid to speak up about something on your mind, let a trusted friend help you practice ways to express yourself and encourage you to do so.

When you take small steps, and continue taking additional steps, you will gradually build confidence. Things are rarely as scary as they seem when unexamined.

3. Am I living small?

This question holds many more questions, such as:
How can I bring some boldness into my life?
How can I take steps to embark on a burning desire?
How can I lead in new ways?

What to do next: Pick one way you see that you are living small and explore at least five ideas for small steps that can open you up in new ways.Then pick one to test now.

4. Am I taking action?

Some of us are full of ideas, but hesitant when it comes to implementing them. Some of us habitually procrastinate. Some of us feel stuck — around a particular issue, or in general. All of these can drag us down, and often cause pressure and stress.

What to do next: If you realize that there are ways you are not taking action, this is the time to begin committing to taking small, consistent steps. Once you begin, momentum can build. And even if you hit rough patches along the way, the flow and energy you’ll experience when you commit to ongoing action will amaze you.

5. Am I celebrating my wins?

High achievers typically feel the need to do big, heroic things to feel worthy of celebration.

The truth is that when we acknowledge and celebrate micro-wins we have the satisfaction of accomplishment. It’s a big deal for our brains to get a boost like that. And it gives us energy to continue down the path we have set.

What to do next: Celebrate small wins like three straight days of keeping a commitment to stay in action around a particular initiative; or inviting someone to have a conversation you’ve been putting off; or (finally) asking someone for help.

The common thread.

You have probably noticed that small steps are the key to living more authentically, to living without fear, to shifting from keeping yourself small, to getting into flow and building momentum, and to reaping the benefits of celebrating your wins. All of these are doable if you set the bar low enough that you can clear it with ease. And when you continue to take small, doable steps, learning and adjusting as you go forward, the impact adds up dramatically.

Drop me a note, or leave a comment to share the insights that come up for you when you answer these questions. And, tell me about the small steps you are committing to taking, too.

Start taking a small step or two today, keep it going, and imagine what it will feel like to have truly moved the needle by the time the next quarter rolls around.

This moment of transition

As you savor the last days of August, you cannot miss the changes in the air.

School has started or is about to start. (In Boston, that means college students with U-Hauls filled to the brim will soon jam the streets!) People are returning from vacations. Calendars are a lot more crowded. Traffic will soon be even worse, slowing everyone down.

And, the air will be crisp and refreshing. Energy will buzz as new projects get started. Focus always begins to get sharper as many of us consider the opportunities and possibilities for this last season of the year.

As you think about next week and heading into September, what do you want to create?

What priorities will be at the top of your list?

What will you commit to doing — differently? for the first time? with renewed energy?

Think now about how you want to feel when you look back at the final four months of the year and head into 2020.

And make a plan.

Three things you can do now to end the year on a high note.

1. Embrace this moment of transition and get clear.

Take some time to consider the questions I posed above.

Write down your thoughts — a brain-dump is a great way to start. You’re likely to have a long list of ideas and possibilities.

Next, reflect on your notes and begin to shape what showed up. You may want to make categories for items related to work, health, relationships, personal pleasure, etc. You’ll then be able to focus on choosing your top priorities.

Remember, many good ideas will have to be put aside. If you aim to focus on too many big things you’ll be splattered! None will get the time and attention needed for you to realize significant progress.

2. Next, get specific.

With your top one to three focal points in mind, think about what is realistic to complete for each of them in the last four months of the year.

For instance, if you want to write a book, or renovate your kitchen, think about what can reasonably be accomplished in four months. Specificity will be key. Break down big projects or ambitions into small, doable bites.

For example, to begin a home or office renovation, you can first get clear about what's not working now and what key elements you want the finished project to include. The next step may be to collect images that appeal to you for ideas on color, style and use of space, before you reach out to meet with designers and choose a contractor.

With a framework for discrete steps, schedule time on your calendar to work on each one.

3. Commit to taking consistent action.

Being clear about your priorities, breaking big projects into small, doable chunks, mapping out a plan, and scheduling time for each step are all important. But that effort will only lead to solid results if you commit to taking small action, followed by more small action, week by week.

It will be easy to get sidetracked, because life happens! But when you know where you are headed and have a strong desire to reach your outcomes, it will be easier to say “No” (even to exciting possibilities) and stay on track. And it will make it easier for you to attend to the inevitable, important interruptions that will come along and get back on track.

Remember, even the best plans will need to be modified. Surprises will show up. Mistakes will happen. New ideas will emerge. In every case, evaluate the situation, correct course as needed, and keep moving forward.

One last suggestion.

Be sure to acknowledge and celebrate each small milestone as you complete pieces of your big projects. This gives your brain a jolt of pride and satisfaction. And that will make it easier to maintain continued commitment to your project.

I'll be excited to hear about the projects you choose to make your focus in the coming months, and to hear about how the work progresses. leave a comment here or drop me a note.

I’m rooting for you!

A movie that will change you

Having heard rave reviews about the film, Maiden, I was sure I would enjoy it.

I knew it was about the first all-female crew to race in the Whitbread Around the World Challenge yacht race, so I expected to be inspired. This award-winning documentary did not disappoint.

The suspense of the race was certainly riveting and the documentary was wonderfully made.

But the most remarkable part of the film was the seeing the determination and commitment of the young Tracy Edwards. She decided to embark on the audacious effort of getting funding for a suitable boat and recruiting an all-female crew — in 1989. And, having done both, she courageously lead that crew through challenges that would have crushed most of us.

Against tremendous odds, she persevered — she found a way to make all of it happen. She withstood withering ridicule from the press and her sailing peers. She coped with enormous doubts and crushing pressure. And she never gave up.

She not only showed the world it could be done — she grew in immeasurable ways. As did her fabulous crew.

Watch the trailer here. Then find a theater where it’s playing, and go to see it. Every minute of this film is worth savoring.

What are you waiting for?

Each day we awake with a fundamental choice.

We can choose to go through the day much like all other days. Entrenched habits and patterns can rule us.
This leads to reacting to everything that comes along. And tolerating frustrations or relationships or jobs that drain us. And to struggling to make time for self-care, not to mention things that bring joy.

Or, you can choose a different option.

You can start each day with the energy of a creator — deliberating considering what you want to create in your life, and actively creating when you move through your days.

What does it look like to embrace the energy of a creator?

When you embrace yourself as a creator, you look at the way you have been living and decide what is working well and where you are frustrated — or are tolerating things that don't work well.

This is what can happen.

You can choose to make positive changes, like showing up as your authentic self, both at work and with people in your personal sphere.

You can learn to listen to your intuition — and trust it.

You can begin to live boldly, and play more, and not let fear or doubt stop you.

Learning to live this way means stepping up in new ways. It means being willing to make commitments to yourself to take action, to shift from living on auto-pilot.

And while it means being willing to step into some discomfort, it means trusting that you are capable of doing this work, and willing to ask for support. And it means you want to be accountable to staying on the path of positive change.

Or, you can wait.

You can wait for certainly.
You can wait for permission.
You can wait for confidence.
You can wait for magic (sometimes in the form of someone who will come to the rescue or someone to do the work for you).
You can wait for complete clarity about what you want, or what to do next, or the exact destination.

Are you content to wait, or are you ready to take action to live a life that makes you excited to wake up to each new day?

This is your decision point. You get to choose.

This can be the day you say “Yes!” to yourself and a bigger future.

If you are ready to know more about what it can look like to become a true creator in your life, drop me a note.

We’ll schedule a time to talk — no obligation, no sales pitch. Just an opportunity for me to hear about your challenges and the dreams you have for a more fulfilled life, and for you to hear about what it takes to become the creator of that future.

I can promise that this conversation will provide you with big insights and a lot of inspiration.

Scheduling this call will be a meaningful action step.

Do you want to take it?

How to realign when you’ve lost momentum

We all get off track from time to time. This happened to me last week. After a great (but hectic) week of business travel I returned to lead a retreat with my group coaching clients. While I loved it all, it wasn’t long before my body had had enough.

I first lost my voice, then lost energy and got achy, and I had no choice but to slow down, rest, and heal for the rest of week two.

Happily, I am now on the mend. But I am facing a big back-log of tasks. 

It’s a challenge to get back in your groove when you have been knocked off course — whether by travel, illness, a family emergency, an emotional rough patch, or anything else.

Here are 3 tips I use to get back on track

1. Go slow

If you are anything like me and the accomplished women I work with, you are an achiever. You work hard — often too hard. This is not the time to follow your impulse is to jump back in and tackle your backlog fast. You will likely sabotage yourself with that approach.

Be thoughtful as you give yourself permission to build up to your usually pace.

Ask yourself these questions:
• What can I delegate, get help with, or defer?
• What to-do's have the highest priority, that I can map on my calendar now?
• What low-hanging fruit can I batch and take care of quickly?
• How can best I communicate to those waiting for replies that I will get back to them soon?

Resist the urge to over-promise. It’s always better to set a reasonable expectation and meet it — or delivery early.

2. Show yourself some love

You may need to set a later wake-up alarm than usual, or skip your usual morning work-out. Or, you may find you have a productive morning and then your energy wanes. Listen to your body! Give yourself the rest, nutrition and movement that you need. 

If your muscles ache, schedule a massage. If a nap will refresh you, go for it! If you are stressed, take a break and meditate, draw, or walk around the block. 

Self care now, coupled with self-compassion, will pay big dividends.

3. Steadily pick up the pace

You will know when you are ready to work a full day again. In most cases, careful pacing and attention to self care will help you to catch up and resume your usual routines fairly quickly.

This is a great time to reflect and reassess. Think about the balance in your life, and the intensity at which you had become accustomed to living. Maybe pushing a bit less hard is a better pace for you in the long run. Maybe you discovered some new ways to work smarter, not harder. Maybe you introduced some self-care that you want to continue and make your ”new normal.“ 

This challenging period can teach you a lot. Take note of your insights.

I'd love for you to share what works best for you at times like these. We can all learn from one another. Or, if you have particular questions, ask them. Leave comments below, or email me, and I can share this feedback in a future post.