Ready to delegate and reclaim your time?

Whenever I speak about the subject of delegating I hear about how hard it is for women to let go of the idea that they have to do it all themselves.

And I get it.

I lived that way for sooo long.

I was trapped in that thinking.

Trapped in the belief that asking for help or delegating tasks was a sign of weakness.

And my fear was amplified by my perfectionism. I believed that nobody else could do things as I would do them — or at the high standard I aimed for.

Are you caught in the trap of doing it all?

Holding a belief that you have to do it all puts you on a fast-track to exhaustion and overwhelm. 

Maybe you are there already. (Sadly, I lived that way for decades.)

Whether you realize you are there, or that you are heading that way, I invite you to consider that delegating and asking for help, are options that can positively impact your day-to-day wellbeing in ways you may not even fully imagine.

Look at the origin of the story you tell yourself

I know the origin of my belief that I had to do it all myself.

My father was an immigrant who was proud that he built a new life using his intelligence and hard work. He talked about it often.

The message I got from him was that asking for help would be proof that I lacked sufficient intelligence or was unwilling to work hard enough — or both.

And thus I drove myself relentlessly.

Perhaps your belief is that you don’t feel you deserve help.

Perhaps you don’t think there are people who would help you.

Perhaps, in spite of exhaustion, you feel pride in being the person who does it all, or the person everyone turns to and counts on.

If you can spot the way your misbeliefs took hold, it may be easier to see that they are simply stories — old stories that do not serve you.

Stories that can be dropped.

It’s time to shift your thinking

The opportunity you have now is to give more to you — to give yourself more space so that you can focus more on what you need to thrive.

Envision having more rest, easily taking better care of your body, having more time with people you love, and time to enrich your spirit by doing things that bring you joy!

Hold that vision clearly. It can be the engine that enables you to make change.

Delegating changes the game

The fastest and easiest way to live so that your vision becomes reality is to lighten your load. 

Now’s the time to focus on the benefits of delegating and how it will help you to be a better you.

Think about being able to make bigger contributions to everything that matters to you — in the work you do, the relationships you care about, and your ability to make the world a better place.

This will make the thought of delegating tasks, and reaching out for help, too, feel easier.

Next, think of one thing to delegate this week. 

Pay close attention to anything that someone else can do faster and/or better than you! That's a great place to start.

You can delegate tasks to:

• people you work with

• to family members and friends

• to people you hire

A great benefit of delegating — particularly at work, and also in personal relationships — is that people will become less dependent on you. The people to whom you delegate tasks get to build confidence and develop skills. It’s a win all around.

And consider who you might turn to and ask for help.

Most people love being asked to help. You might ask someone to be a sounding board for your new ideas. You can ask for help to do something around the house rather than doing it alone. Someone may be happy to pick up something for you on an errand they are doing for themselves.

As you gain more ease with delegating and reaching out for help, the benefits will become clearer and more satisfying.

The real you — the woman who creates the conditions to show up as her best self, and has the bandwidth to tap her rich creative power — will shine brightly.

We will all be the benefactors of your gifts!

Turn overwhelm into powerful choices

Last week I spoke at a great event in Miami — the Superstar Summit. I was honored to be among a great line-up of speakers in front of a fabulous audience.

Preparing for the trip — doing everything from making travel arrangements to writing and preparing to deliver my talk, choosing what to wear on stage, making slides, sending a file off to be printed so I could leave everyone in the audience with a useful reminder of what I taught, and lots more details crowded out much of what I typically work on in a given week.

And now I am looking at the list of everything that waited, and things that arrived while I was away, that are all calling for my attention.

It’s easy to feel overwhelmed at times like this.

In fact, my to-do list often feels like a lot, even when there aren’t special events that interrupt my usual schedule.

What I have come to understand about those long to-do lists has made a huge difference in my life.

It will never all be done — and that’s great! 

My life is ever-changing, with new opportunities (as well as typical obligations) and new ideas popping up frequently.

And I wouldn’t want it any other way.

I have embraced both the joy of that realization, which developed when I learned new ways to consider what is on my ever-changing list.

The insight I’ve made my new way to operate, is that I get to choose what matters most — what can be let go of, what to defer, and what to delegate to others.

I feel powerful and capable when I make those decisions.

And taking those steps frees me to love what I choose to do — including time I set aside for self-care, play, and creative expression.

I no longer want a completed to-do list.

Rather, I celebrate having a list that I created, that’s comprised of things I’ve chosen to make my focus.

Stay present to what is showing up now

It has taken me time to learn to relate to my life this way.

I’ve learned to trust myself, and trust that everything I continue to create in my life — including nurturing precious relationships and creating new relationships; appreciating the outcomes of my curiosity and explorations; generating ideas for new ways of sharing my ideas and tools and experiences with great women — are opportunities for joy and fulfillment.

I do love getting a lot done in a day — particularly when the things I do bring me so much satisfaction.

When I remember that being flexible and agile, thinking creatively and listening to my intuition, always guide my best path forward, I thrive.

If you yearn to be free from overwhelm, to learn to move past the pressures of a long list of heavy obligations and feel excited and grateful as you move ahead in your life, I’d be happy to chat with you about how you can start creating a new relationship with your to-do list.

Book a call here!

Overwhelmed? Here’s How a Simple ‘Mini-Reset’ Can Restore Your Energy

We humans are complex, and women who are committed to doing their best — at work, at home, and in the world — can easily overload their nervous systems.

We plan, we strive, we feel deeply, we push — often to the breaking point. Sadly, this way of living becomes “normal” for so many of us.

Even on weekends and when we take vacations, we can struggle to fully unplug and rest.

And it takes a toll.

I often say that we are not machines, but many of us live as though we were. And most of us do not even pause for routine maintenance (which we would never skip for the cars we drive!). We do not think about protecting ourselves from future breakdowns. We just keep grinding away.

What if you shifted gears?

I invite you to appreciate the vital importance of taking a break.

While it’s great to pause and breathe with intention during a busy day, I am suggesting something that will have a bigger benefit.

I call it mini-reset.

Consider setting aside a weekend day (or more time if you have a vacation planned). And to make it really interesting skip the planning.

Yup. Even if you love to plan in advance, give this a try!

Whether you are alone, with a friend, or surrounded by kids and family, imagine starting this unplanned day quietly and slowly.

Ask yourself

• what might be fun to do?

• what would bring me joy?

• how might I play?

• where might be a fun place to explore?

• what would be a great way to surprise myself?

Consider ways to spend time with no agenda other than pleasure and ease!

Maybe you’ll get in the car and take a winding country road to a town you haven't explored before, or for a while. When you get there you might try a cafe, window shop, walk through a park, meander on side streets.

Maybe you’ll head to a museum without a clue about the exhibitions on view, to follow your nose as you move through galleries and make discoveries.

Maybe you’ll choose a spot close to home and sit and watch the world go by. Look at the sky, people-watch, look closely at things you usually rush by and make a point of finding small moments of wonder.

Whatever you choose to do, notice what's around you — the sights, sounds and smells.

Take note of how you feel.

Memories may show up.

Curiosity is likely to be peaked.

New ideas may pop into your head at random moments.

Commit to periodic dates for mini-resets

Just as you would not miss your semi-annual dental appointment or annual physical, commit to regular dates for resetting your nervous system.

Remember, whether you choose a date each month or each season, you can gather up the crew or go alone. You can stay put and read something you have not made time for. You can putter in your garden if that brings you pleasure. You can cook something you've been curious to try.

These periodic mini-resets will help your complex, overworked brain and body get the preventive maintenance — including minor repairs — to function optimally.

And as you reap the benefits and continue to choose dates for resets, they will likely become a normal part of the rhythm of your life.

So pick a date for your first mini-reset right now!

And remember, as tempted as you might be, don’t do any advance planning!

Let yourself make a choice that morning and see how the day unfolds!

I’d be delighted for you to share your mini-reset experiences with me. Schedule a chat here.

What’s stirring in your heart right now?

Maybe you are celebrating a significant life moment this spring.

Families are sharing photos of graduations — from 5th grade into middle school, all the way to PhD completions at universities.

It’s a season of weddings and baby showers, family reunions and birthdays.

My grandchildren turned 6 and 10 in the last few weeks! And I just returned from a family wedding filled with glorious love and joy.

I am also feeling especially delighted about my work now.

I have been leading the prelude to the Live Big Live! Retreat for the last 5 weeks.

Over these weeks I’ve witnessed tremendous insights emerge and special new friendships form as we’ve moved through the virtual portion of the program. This lead-up to our 3 big days together — happening this week — was designed to provide a strong foundation of clarity for each woman, upon which she can build at the retreat.

As we have moved through a weekly sequence of Discovery Sheets, we have shared deeply on group calls. And I have had private coaching sessions with each woman in this fantastic cohort.

I followed my heart

When I created this retreat in 2020 (this is the 11th Live Big Live!), I had a big goal in mind — to provide great women with a process that would guide them to deeply connect to their hearts and desires, and based on that clarity set a compelling vision for the next part of their lives. And, I designed a structured process for each woman to create a personalized way to start making that vision her reality, so that when she left the retreat she would be clear about how to truly live into her vision.

I knew in my heart that we needed more than 3 days together to bring this way of supporting significant change into reality. Thus the idea to meet weekly in advance of the retreat was born.

What do you yearn to create?

I trusted my intuition and my heart when it signaled me that everyone would get her biggest outcome if she came to the retreat with a solid foundation in place that she could build on. 

Other people told me that the additional component of the process was not necessary. They said I did not need to do one-on-one sessions either. They advised me to keep it simple.

And, while that advice might have been fine for others, it was not right for me, and what I wanted to offer the women about whom I care deeply.

Do you have a deep desire to create something new?

Do you feel like there is something more, something bigger you want to pursue?

Even if you do not yet know exactly what that looks like, I invite you to keep the desire alive.

Journal freely and see what emerges. Imagine possibilities and talk about them with people you feel close to.

And get support to accelerate your movement forward. I know that had I tried to create Live Big Live! on my own, it would have taken much longer and would likely have entailed more trial and error than the way I shaped it with the help of my own coach.

Your dreams matter!

When you honor your heart and take a fresh new step toward living a purpose-filled, spacious life, you will find satisfaction and joy.

And all of us will benefit from your energy and contribution.

So connect to your desires and hold them with reverence.

Create ideas, create opportunities, create small steps forward. With every step you will build momentum.

I cannot wait to celebrate you!

A simple shift to spark your spirit

Spring is here! Color abounds, people are out in light colorful clothing, and spirits are lifted.

Do you feel the delight of the season?

Do you take time to get outdoors, move, and look all around you?

Do you savor the beauty around you wherever you are?

A chapter in my book is devoted to seeing wonder, and the magic of tuning your attention to the wonders that are all around you all the time.

When you notice a lovely sound, or the way a shadow is cast that makes a great pattern, or look closely at the unfolding of a flower, you light up your heart — and in turn, you elevate your spirit.

What happens when you look for beauty

Intentionally observing beauty (of any kind) is a gift you can give yourself wherever you are, and at any time.

In fact, slowing down and finding beauty in ordinary places and moments can spark delight that is especially joyful.

When you look for beauty you will find it!

And the impact of focusing on and appreciating beauty has significant benefits that might surprise you.

When you see something beautiful any stress you may be feeling is reduced.

When you feel less stress, your mood is elevated. You think and act differently. You are able to focus more, and to consider more perspectives. You are likely to generate more ideas. You feel grateful and inspired.

Studies have shown that you may even show up more confidently, feeling open, positive and clear.

Try keeping a little notebook to jot down moments of wonder you spot this week. You might also note what interested you about that observation, and what it inspires you to think about, or do, or a change you find yourself making.

When you make a little effort and realize the benefits, it won’t be long before spotting wonder will become second-nature for you.

And the benefits will keep on coming.

The Magic of Being Fully Present

How often do you intentionally slow down and bring your full attention to the present moment?

As much as I appreciate the importance and benefits of being fully present (which I devoted an entire chapter to in my book!), I tend to move through my busy days thinking about what has happened (in the immediate past moments as well as events long past), or anticipating what is likely to happen based on decisions and actions I am anticipating or taking. 

I rarely slow down to be fully present.

I typically move from one thing to the next, especially when my calendar is crowded.

Rather than pausing to focus on what I just experienced or what is happening right now, I try to remind myself to get curious and consider what I can — or want to — create that is aligned and best for me as a next step, 

Because over time I have realized that each time I fail to catch myself when falling into the looking back/looking ahead trap, I short-change myself.

The lesson that hit home for me

Two weeks ago I wrote to you on the first full day of an annual writing retreat I have gifted myself for 3 years. Now that I’ve been home I can see even more clearly how meaningful that time was for me.

While I dared to venture into being a painter in 2015, I never envisioned myself also being a writer. (Other than penning my posts each week, I’d never thought to write stories, or a memoir, or poems.)

Writing seemed mysterious, and something other people did.

Then I was invited to listen to women writers read portions of their work, and I met the teacher who guided them. I was impressed, but still did not think of exploring what writing could mean for me.

In December 2023 I was invited to a weekend writing retreat that was offered in Boston, and I decided to step out of my comfort zone and see how it felt to write from the deep voice — as my teacher, Leslie Berliant calls the approach she teaches.

Trusting myself to explore something new turned out to be pivotal in my life. I had a new outlet for expression that has been enormously rewarding.

And one huge benefit I did not notice at the start is that writing slows me down.

The gift of going slow

Writing or painting may not be creative pursuits that you love (though maybe if you try them you will discover that one or both of those ways to connect to your heart and create is exciting).

Maybe you love to be outside and tend your garden.

Maybe you love to create with ingredients in your kitchen.

Maybe you love doing tactile things with your hands, or dreaming up grand initiatives to lead.

Any way that you choose to create with intention will slow you down — whether your ideal pace is shorter sprints or devoting extended time periodically.

Going slow when you get fully absorbed in something that brings you satisfaction, allows you to express yourself, opens your heart, and will positively impact everything else in your life.

Your observations will be keener.

Your intuition will be easier to access.

Your lit up energy will be a magnet for other people. 

Try slowing down to create today

I invite you to test my theory for yourself.

Start with something that appeals to you (maybe pull out colored pencils and an adult coloring book, or do a few pages of doodles) and devote a little piece of your day to it.

Repeat — creating that way or trying other ways to create — in the week ahead.

Take note of how you feel when you slow down and allow yourself to get absorbed in something that brings you pleasure. And how slowing down impacts the other things you focus on in your life.

I’d love to hear about what you experience. Email me and let me know.

Your heart is asking for space—will you listen?

I am away at a writing retreat this week. It is a gift I have given myself for 3 years — time to be in a beautiful rural place, with a great teacher, and in the company of amazing writers.

This gift of time lets me dive deep into my heart. I allow what is there to pour forth, and have often been surprised at what emerges. 

Sometimes the words flow with ease. Many times I need patience, and I often rework what first lands on the page.

This experience is always revelatory and enriching, no matter how it unfolds.

Do you create space to open your heart?

Do you consider the space you create in your life for peace?

For focus?

For rest?

For things that bring you joy?

I was perpetually busy for years on end. The idea of a week away at a retreat would have sounded impossible to me back then. I now cherish time for expression and wonder — whether at a retreat or in small bits during my week.

Most of us live distracted, hectic lives. 

We miss so much when we live this way. And we pay a steep price for it. I frequently see women buckle under the pressure when the pace of their lives becomes unsustainable.

And that can change.

First, dial down the pressure 

Here are ways to ease the grind:

Get clear about what matters most

When you are clear about what is most important to you, you can set criteria for what you want (and sometimes need) to do.

That clarity enables you to let go of things that do not match your criteria. 

Focus on what you say “yes” and “no” to

It’s time to say “yes” only to things that match your clear standards.

Even what seem like small yeses can add up to a lot of time, focus and energy. Be mindful of each time you choose to add something to your schedule or accept a request. 

Sure, there are many things you could do, and might be happy to do. It is also flattering to be invited to join an effort, or lead an initiative, or be on a board, or participate on a project.

With clarity, discernment and commitment to your wellbeing, you will build comfort in communicating your decisions.

Create more space for things that are currently on your plate that need to stay there

Create systems to simplify and streamline processes. (While I have often not found it easy to create new systems, I have asked for help, and love having systems in place that streamline my efforts.)

Get help when you need it! That help can take many forms. What expertise, or extra pair of hands, will make your life easier and reduce stress or fatigue? 

Consider the opportunities to minimize demands by extending deadlines or reducing your effort.

Next choose ways to light yourself up 

The space you are able to create offers new possibilities.

That space is precious. Even small bits of “white space” on your calendar can be quite meaningful.

Let’s say you are able to open a 15-minute window a few times each week. That’s a great start! Think about what you might do in those openings that will bring you joy.

Maybe you will sit outside and look at the sky.

Maybe you will call someone dear to you and share a laugh.

Maybe you will write a poem, or dream up a plan for an adventure, or research a topic that fascinates you.

Maybe you will choose not to fill the space, and just allow your desires in the moment guide you.

When you create delight in any way your spirit will expand.

And that can change your life more ways than you might imagine.

What are you ready to release?

If you, like so many people, find it hard to let go — of anger, or resentment, or struggles with other people or conditions that you find frustrating or unjust — you are likely aware of how much preoccupations like those interfere with your ability to be your best.

All of that focus on trying to change and control things takes a huge toll.

It’s exhausting.

Why so many of us struggle with control 

We hold tight when we dearly want to control things or force changes. 

We feel like letting go will be giving up.

Many of us feel like it will mean we have failed.

The truth is that we can only control our own thoughts and actions. That is where our power lies, and accepting that is where we find freedom and peace.

Consider these things you might let go of

I have learned over time that there is freedom in letting go of many things.

Some that I am glad to have let go of are:

• trying to control what other people do

• relationships with people whose actions are not aligned with my values, or whose energy depletes me

• ideas about who I need to be to meet others’ expectations

• caring about how other people may judge me

• my definition of personal success

• stories I have told myself that are outdated or untrue

• the speed that things ”should“ take — for me to complete or to be done by others

I have come to understand that I can only control my own thoughts, expectations, and actions.

I invite you to think about ways you hold tight and might release the grip.

Make a list, choose a place to start, and try to ease up— even a little — today. As you keep this awareness and focus, and gradually allow yourself to experience the power of letting go, savor the space and freedom you create.

How to Keep Worry from Hijacking Your Focus

A question has been coming up in many of my conversations these days (when I am coaching, networking, and in social settings). It’s one that I find myself dealing with, too, in the current chaotic external environment.

How to manage distraction, distress and worry?

I have thought a lot (as you may have) about how to keep significant concerns from hijacking my attention, dimming my spirit, and hampering my ability to do the important work I am committed to.

To support women to show up fully and boldly, so they can do their important work in the world and live without stress or overwhelm, I’ve been exploring simple and meaningful ways to stand steady. 

I believe that we can all tap and ignite the creative power we possess to live our best lives with grace, and I’m happy to share what has worked well for me.

Consider new ways to start your day

I used to hear my alarm, hop out of bed, turn on the news as I quickly washed and dressed, and rush through breakfast before beginning to work. (Back when my morning also included getting children off to school and commuting to an office, it was even more hectic.)

Year after year went by that way, until I began to consider that there might be a better way to set myself up for a great day.

In shaping new ways to start my day, and refining them over time, I’ve experienced many benefits.

I hope the practices I use now to ground and center myself will inspire you to start your day with intention.

Here are 3 approaches to explore

These practices can help you set a positive mindset and get clear about how you want to focus your attention for the day ahead.

1. Go to bed 10 minutes earlier, then set aside the first 10 minutes of your morning for yourself.

By choosing to have 10 sweet minutes of quiet (or more if you want!), you can choose what to do with that piece of quiet time.

While 10 minutes may not sound like much, using that time in a meaningful way that supports your wellbeing can significantly impact how you will feel and operate the rest of the day.

2. Create your 10-minute oasis.

Your “me time” can be structured in a variety of ways. You get to choose what will be the best for you.

Consider these favorites of mine, and experiment until you find what works best for you.

• Spend 5 minutes with a journal

Keep a small journal and pen by your bedside. As soon as your alarm sounds and you sit up, start writing. Aim for one page — which will likely take 5 minutes to fill.

Write about how you feel. Include any concerns you may have carried over from the day before, or from a disturbing dream, or that you have about the day ahead.

Next, write down how you want to feel today. You might note things like feeling positive, trusting, strong, loving, well-supported, creative, decisive, etc.

End by expressing gratitude (go for at least 3 things).

• Move your body

My morning routine includes some stretching after I get out of bed. (I do a longer workout and take yoga classes at other times.)

You might have weights handy and do some reps, or dancing might be your jam. By all means run or walk outside if you love that and are able to make time for it.

The idea is to move intentionally.

3.  Create a soundtrack for your day.

I have several vibes I choose from to help me feel great as I get ready for my day. Some are mellow, some more upbeat, some have vocals and some are instrumental.

I listen to my chosen music as I wash, dress, eat breakfast and transition to working at my desk. I always find that the soundtrack I choose supports me to stay in a positive, centered frame of mind.

Let’s all create our best possible days

The energy you bring to your day impacts everything you do.

It also impacts the people around you.

We all know what it is like to be around people who are anxious, ill-tempered, or gruff, and how that impedes our ability to stay clear, positive and creative.

When you show up feeling grounded, positive, and able to create your best day with a clear head and and open heart, your energy will be felt by others and will positively influence them.

Imagine more of us contributing positive energy, and that energy spreading far and wide. The impact can be enormous.

Let’s do this together.

I am always happy to hear from you. Tell me what is keeping you from living the life you truly yearn for.

Simplify to Succeed: How Focus Unlocks Real Results

It’s easy for life to get complicated — I slip into that trap often!

So what can you do when you realize that things are overwhelmingly complex?

I have learned that when I slow down and look at things through a new lens, I am able to operate in a new way.

Adopting a few steps can make a world of difference for you, too, so that you will feel better and be more effective.

When you learn how to simplify and focus on distilling to the essence, you’ll reap huge benefits.

1. Begin with clarity 

Having clarity is powerful.

Take a beat and ask yourself: What is most important today?

This may be easy for you, or may it take time for you to bring a clear focus to each day. It will be worth the effort!

Make a daily practice of starting your morning with a thoughtful decision about one thing that will be your primary focus of the day. You might have a dedicated note pad ready to pick up each morning to write down that priority.

It is typical to think there must be 2, 3 or more things to put on that sheet, but do not include more than 3 things on any day!

Be sure you choose 1 clear focus to begin with, knowing it will help you get to numbers 2 and 3 more quickly (and feel better when you get to them!).

And stay alert to things (and people) that pull your attention into other directions.

You may find that you need to deliberately return to the focus you chose for your day multiple times. I promise it will be worth the effort.

2. Decide on the easiest place to start

Choose one simple thing that will be the most effective action to take to move your key priority forward.

And after you take that action, ask yourself this question again:

What one simple thing can I do next to move this forward?

Repeat as you go through your day.

3. Communicate clearly and simply

Focus on communicating with as much simplicity and clarity as possible.

Whether you write emails, meet with people, set agendas, speak to audiences, or plan presentations, keep your messages direct and clear. That will make it easier to communicate dynamically, too.

You will be better understood, you’ll get more buy-in, command more attention, and achieve your objectives with more ease.

And remember that you can be clear and commanding while using a tone that is truly authentic. Clear communication delivered authentically will naturally engage and influence people.

Cultivating a direct, simple and authentic way of communicating takes focus. With consistency and practice, it will become your natural way of operating.

Sustain your focus and thrive!

I hope that using these steps will have a positive impact on your day-to-day life.

There are, of course, other things that can help you keep focused and get the most important things done.

Delegating tasks is always a great idea, as is considering who you might turn to for help.

And you might consider coaching support, if the big picture question of what you want your life’s focus to be is something you’re thinking about, or to help you navigate day-to-day challenges.

You can schedule a chat with me here.

The ABCs of Self Leadership

As a woman who leads, inspires, and aims to make an impact, if you are feeling stress and overwhelm in a world filled with uncertainty, it’s hard to show up powerfully.

At times like these it is imperative to stay strong, steady, and clearheaded — so that you can do your best work and support others.

I think of it as cultivating self-leadership. With this ability you can lead in every aspect of life and work.

When you cultivate self-leadership you will be able to stay steady with more ease.

What self-leadership looks like

As a visual thinker, I have imagined a few scenarios that you may find helpful to envision what strong self-leadership can mean for you.

Imagine feeling like you are able to stay upright on the deck of a boat in rocky seas.

Imagine feeling like you are a gyroscope, and that when you tip in the wind, or wobble under pressure, or when the sand beneath your feet starts shifting, you always come back up.

Imagine being a tall palm that is flexible and bends in the wind during a storm, and not only stays rooted, but can stand erect again when the winds subside.

Focusing on self-leadership enables you to be strong and resilient.

The A, B, and C of self-leadership

There are many ways people think about and approach “self-leadership.” In the context of attending to your own wellbeing in order to lead and support others effectively, these are the components I offer you to consider.

Action — based on Awareness and Acknowledgement

A key first step is to take stock of what you are feeling. Having tools to help you identify your emotions enables you to then acknowledge what is at play, rather than aiming to simply muscle through when you are feeling less than steady.

With that clarity you can take action to process your emotions, so those heavy emotions move through you rather than hijack you.

And taking action of all kinds is an excellent antidote to feeling disillusioned or stuck, no matter the reason.

Bolster — to show up Boldly

Effective leadership — of yourself and others — requires true belief in yourself. 

Having clarity about the emotions that were hampering you, then processing those emotions to help you step into action, you will see matters more clearly. You can bring a clear head to determining the best ways to move forward, and your confidence will naturally expand. 

And there’s a bonus when you bolster your confidence: You feel that you have agency in situations that would otherwise feel daunting.

Create!

You can create practices that support you to manage stress when it arises. You can create a mindset of curiosity, openness and consideration of new possibilities no matter what shows up. You can create expressively to open your heart.

This is your time to cultivate the creative power inside of you that is waiting to be unleashed. That’s what will make you an unstoppable leader!

A simple shift to bring more joy and ease into your life

How are you? How is your week going?

I have been focusing on the joy in small things, and am delighted at the way approaching my days like that is generating positivity and ease.

As I have looked for moments of joy I’ve found them in small and lovely ways each day.

I made plans with people I love — not to do anything ambitious or elaborate. Sitting over a meal and connecting quietly was joyous.

I called someone dear to me and we caught up. 

I savored the peace I felt in a yoga class and carried it into my day.

As I walked on a cold day, I smiled at the bright sunshine and delighted at the way passive solar energy melted ice.

I sat over a cup of tea after accomplishing something, rather than rushing on to another task.

I experimented with new seasonings that brightened an otherwise ordinary salad.

How will you make space for joy today?

Consider the ways you can look for, and create, moments of joy.

You might start a meeting with a question such as, "What was a moment of delight in your day today?" and see what shows up in the replies.

You might listen to soothing, upbeat music as you do a chore.

You might clear a bit of clutter (one your desk, on a kitchen counter, in a drawer) and enjoy the space you created.

Taking simple actions and observing beauty and wonder around you can bring peace and pleasure to any day.

Joy bears beautiful gifts

Each small moment of joy connects you to your heart and boosts your spirits. 

You brain will release neurotransmitters — dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, endorphins and more — that reduce stress and promote pleasure, relaxation and calmness.

You then have a more receptive and positive mindset, that enables you to easily shift your focus to the positive around you.

Loving energy expands.

Peace and calm come naturally.

And with this upward spiral in place, gratitude follows naturally. 

This wonderful energetic state will also impact the people around you, in ways you may see, or never be aware.

Imagine the ripple effect we can all have if we choose to bring more joy into our lives each day.

Let’s do it together!

I am always happy to hear from you. Talk to me about what you yearn to create in your life. We can look at what is in the way now and your path to the future you dream of. 

Give yourself a powerful gift this season

As the year is coming to a close, it is easy to live in high-gear as you do your holiday planning and shopping, get cards out, go to holiday events, and push to complete 2024 projects.

You may be pushing hard so consistently that the realization of the toll that pace takes may not have occurred to you.

Take a beat!

I invite you to take a moment now to simply sit quietly and take 3 slow, deep, refreshing breaths.

Consciously let you shoulders relax.

Loosen your jaw.

Give yourself a small hug.

Now, to really give yourself a treat, pull out a paper and write 3 things that you can celebrate about yourself in 2024.

A powerful gift you can give yourself

You can take a few minutes on a regular basis — in the midst of your day, over a cup of coffee, as you start or end your day, or whenever you feel the desire for a pause.

In that small space, reflect and celebrate yourself. 

Even a few minutes several times this week, to do a bit of reflecting can be incredibly meaningful.

What might you celebrate? 

Consider how you showed up — in a difficult conversation, in a moment that called for a quick response, for a friend, with a bold voice, or any other time that you can be proud of.

Consider a goal you went for — whether it was a goal you committed to and completed or took the first step toward, appreciate yourself for that effort and commitment you made.

Consider the wisest decision you made this year — and think about what it took to make that decision. Courage? Boldness? Belief in yourself?

Consider ways you grew in 2024 — did you speak up more this year, or pursue a new skill, speak on a stage, or take on a new leadership role? Think back to January and note all the ways you stepped up and expanded.

Acknowledging yourself for all of the things that come to mind — and celebrating them! — will lift your spirits, bolster self-love, and build belief in yourself in remarkable ways.

Maybe your celebration will be to smile and savor the insights. You might want to treat yourself to something special. You might invite a special friend to reflect and share what she is celebrating, and do something special together.

Recharge your energy and see what happens

Celebrating yourself is a fabulous way to build great energy for everything you do. And, it’s a great way to start looking ahead at the new year — not only what you want to do, but knowing that you can show up positively, proudly, with optimism, and ready for great things to happen in your life.

Discover how to reclaim your time and joy

For much of my life I was so focused on what I had to do, that I rarely created time or space for what I wanted to do.

And my “had to do” list was crazy-long. 

I was sure I had to accomplish ambitious tasks on short timelines.

I was sure I had to do everything myself. (You can imagine how that belief gobbled up vast amounts of time and exhausted me!)

I was sure that I had to (and I wanted to) volunteer on top of running my business, raising young children, and being available when my husband’s frequent long hours and travel kept him away from home. I said “Yes” to lots of volunteer requests, and countless pleas from people to help them.

I was perpetually exhausted.

Can you relate?

Do you put the things you want to do, and that you know will bring you joy and satisfaction, at the bottom of your to-do list?

What happened when I listened to my heart and approached my life in a new way 

When I sold my first business, dove deep into studying creativity, and launched my coaching practice, I was again faced with SO much to do every day! But this time around, I had new insights and awareness.

I had started getting help and support — including working with a coach, hiring experts to do things I chose not to figure out and do on my own, keeping more white space on my schedule and building in time for painting and writing, to satisfy my spirit.

I built keen awareness about how I moved through each day. I reframed negative and stressful thoughts that used to weigh me down.

And I began to honor my deep desires and dreams.

When I did that, it became much easier to say “No” to things that would take up time and impede my ability to to do what I felt called to do.

What I have said “Yes” to recently

It’s been nearly a year since I lost my father. Even before that event I’d been  feeling that change was brewing for me, and I gave myself time for clarity to emerge. After his death my vision quickly became clear. I made decisions to honor what my heart was asking for.

I yearned to lead women on longer retreats, where we could go deeper together and bigger shifts would be possible for my clients.

And I created two new retreats — Creation Vacation, a week on the coast of southern Maine in January, and L’Aventure Française — a 12-day retreat to France (that is starting in 2 weeks!).

And I am in the process of creating programs to bring my work into companies, so that cohorts of great women can be supported to step into their power and show up boldly. They will be supported to bring all of their greatness into the world — and do it without sacrificing their personal wellbeing.

My vision is for women to take the lead in bringing these attributes into their lives and work.

I believe that in time, their successes will impact those around them and impact our culture! As more workplaces provide this support and reap the benefits of bigger outcomes, they will retain the great women who will be thriving.

I also committed to making more time for what is personally fulfilling.

I am taking better care of my body with routine workouts and yoga classes. And I am painting and writing consistently now (rather than squeezing in bits of time here and there for those ways that I yearn to create).

What are you ready to say “Yes” to now?

I invite you to sit with the question of what your heart deeply wants. Honor what shows up for you.

It may be more rest, more calm, more time for yourself. It may be a big exciting dream. No matter what surfaces, consider a first small step to take in that direction. 

Small steps really count! And when you take them consistently, and get back on course when something shows up and gets in the way, you will see how small changes add up to meaningful impact.

Be patient with yourself. Trust yourself. Get support. Keep moving forward.

And if you seek support, please reach out and schedule time for us to talk about your path to creating change in your life.

Overwhelm to Openness: Embracing a New Way of Living

Most accomplished women work hard — really hard! Working hard was such a normal part of my life, for so long, that I did not believe there was any other way to live.

And I paid a steep price for living that way.

I was exhausted and stressed. And I missed out on so much The relaxed time with my family and friends that I yearned for was, instead, crammed into an overcrowded schedule. I was usually preoccupied, feeling pressure to get the next thing done.

I had trouble relaxing on vacations, too. 

I felt trapped and couldn’t envision how things would ever change.

What I learned that opened space — and elevated my spirit

My lessons have unfolded over time, and truth be told, none of them are quick-fixes. Accepting that reality and being patient as I made changes has made a significant difference in my life.

I patiently began to embrace new concepts and take new steps, that you may want to explore. Space opened up in my schedule, and even more amazingly, in my mind and heart.

Consider starting small. Choosing to implement these ideas can have a meaningful impact.

1. Create “white space” on your calendar

You may know that I owned a designer firm in my first career. One important principal in design is to leave ample white space in a layout or a web page, so the content is not dense or not crowded, allowing a reader to focus with ease.

Leaving white space on your calendar gives you space and time to focus on what is important, without clutter or stress (to your energy or spirit).

Consider what you are saying “Yes” to, and what “No’s” you can start saying.

Think about who you can delegate tasks to, and who you can turn to for help.

Putting this awareness to work is a game-chamger.

2. Sustain a positive frame of mind

In a world filled with constant tensions and issues — close to home and globally — it is easy to feel pulled into worry and drama. Thoughts like those used to highjack me.

What I learned and have practiced is to bring a focus to gratitude for all that is good. Try it and you will see that your attention will be directed to positive emotions. You’ll set yourself up to ride a wave of possibility. You will free your spirit to create! 

What might you create? New ideas. New actions to take. New conversations to initiate. New ways of expressing yourself, as you show up boldly in the world.

All of these positive ways of creating will move you into an elevated state of mind!

3. Let go and allow

While I was sure I had to figure everything out myself  — not to mention doing all that was entailed on my own — I have learned that there is power in creating an energetic foundation and allowing my spirit, and the universe, to assist me.

I know this may sound woo to many people, but bear with me!

• First I learned to open space in my life, as described in #1 above.

• Then I focused on sustaining a positive outlook, as in #2.

• I began to trust myself more. 

• I began to create actively all day every day. 

• I expanded my vision and started to dream bigger.

• And I allowed the energy of all of that to help me find my way.

I let go of having to have all the answers figured out before taking action.

And incredible things have appeared for me — insights, resources, new directions — that I would not have envisioned on my own!

What change will you make today?

This is a perfect time to explore a small new step that can lead to remarkable change in your life.

Take a first step. Then another.

And if you want support to get started, or to sustain your efforts, email me. We can talk about all that is possible for you and your path begin to creating the life you dream of.

Embracing the unexpected: letting go of expectations

Last week my body forced me to slow down. I returned from an exciting week away, speaking at a great event, with COVID. I had no choice but to rest. (Happily, I am fully recovered now.)

I had expected to catch up from a a big to-do list after being out of my office, but the universe had other plans for me. 

I let go of expectations, and everything was fine! 

If you are like me, you’ve lived a life full of expectations, and have held them tightly.

A great life lesson, that I need to be reminded of (like when I was sick last week), is that I can let go of expectations and it will not only be fine — it is often better than fine!

Expectations can be a trap

Most of us set expectations about all sorts of things, typically without awareness that we are doing so. And most of them tend to limit us.

We expect things of ourselves and of others. And we often hold tight to those expectations. When we do, we suffer disappointments more often than not.

Typical examples that get in our way are:

• Expecting ourselves to get more done in a day than is reasonable. 

• Expecting ourselves to be perfect.

• Expecting things outside our control to be perfect.

• Expecting others to read our minds. 

• Expecting people to see things from the same perspective we do.

Living with these sorts of expectations running in the background keeps us from thinking and acting with agency — with awareness that we can always operate with creative power. 

Here’s what it can look like instead:

• Rather than driving yourself hard and feeling exhausted, you can approach your day with a focus on what is most important, and delegate or defer other tasks.

• Rather than expecting perfection from yourself, you can determine to approach everything with care and focus, and fully acknowledge and appreciate your best efforts.

• Rather than feeling disappointed by things outside your control, you can remember what you can and cannot control! (See the graphic below and refer to it often! You can download it here.)

• Rather than holding expectations that others know what you want and need and expect of them, you can communicate clearly.

• Rather than expecting others to see things as you do, you can choose to be open to other perspectives. You may find that others’ lenses offer you insight that you get to appreciate — or not.

What happens when you let go of expectations

I have learned that when I release expectations, I allow myself to be fully present to opportunities and possibilities. I trust that things are always working out for me, as I create my best day each day.

When I approach every day as one that I get to create — in my thinking and my actions — I often find possibilities that would not have been shown up I had held a tight grip.

How can you loosen your grip and release expectations, even a little today?

What will you create today?

Who doesn’t want to have a great day?

The way you start your day matters.

One simple and powerful thing you can do is to set an intention for how you want to feel during the day, and focus on that rather than how you may be feeling when you get up.

How a word can impact your day

Let’s say you wake up feeling tired after a night of restless sleep. You could start to move through your day focused on how tired you feel. You would likely push yourself to get washed and dressed, and push yourself during the work day.

You would likely feel worn out at the end of your day.

If, instead, on a day when you woke up feeling tired after a night of restless sleep, you took a moment and set an intention to feel energized and inspired all day, that upbeat energy could have a big impact. 

Here’s what can happen.

As you hold an intention to feel energized, everything you do all day is likely to flow differently. The fatigue will not dissolve, but your attention will be focused on positive energy.

As you orient yourself this way you are likely to feel inspiration in all you do, and end your day feeling good, if tired and ready to rest. 

You can create the day you want

Start your morning by choosing a word to guide you, that will provide a focus and energy for what you want to feel all day.

Think of it as your Word for the Day, and bring your word to mind throughout the day.

Imagine the impact of starting your day with a word like curious, or enthusiastic, or balanced, or playful, or courageous, or strong, or focused.

Whether or not you sense some of that feeling at the start of your morning, setting a clear intention for how you want to feel — and reminding yourself of your word as the day progresses — enables you to create a day that fulfills that feeling.

Give it a try this week and see what happens!

Start your day right

How do you start your days? Most of us have a usual morning pattern.

Some hop out of bed, wash and dress, turn on the news, grab coffee with breakfast, and rush into the day.

Others hit the snooze button first. Some sit down for a leisurely breakfast.

What most people skip — that I skipped for decades — is a morning practice that sets you up for your best day.

Try a new way to start the day

When I worked with my first coach, I was urged to meditate every day. I resisted. I dabbled at it. It was a struggle for quite a while!

I would randomly take a break at my desk, put a timer on for 5 minutes, and try to quiet my mind until the chime sounded.

In time it got easier. I sat for longer times. I started to like it, but I did not love the part about pausing in the midst of my workday to do it.

I skipped it on many days, and sometimes did not return to meditating for weeks or months.

Over time I realized that timing was part of the problem. I changed to meditating first thing in the morning. That worked better for me.

And, in time, I added some new elements to the meditation.

I created a morning practice — and it’s had a significant impact on my life. 

As I’ve experimented, I have found a mix that I love.

You may want to try it, too.

A menu to pick from to create your best day 

My current practice starts with 5 to 10 minutes doing each of these 4 things:

• free writing

• meditating

• visualizing how I will show up for the things I will do in the day

• moving my body

And there’s more.

Rather than listen to or watch news, which used to add stress to my mornings, I select music I’m in the mood for each morning.

The music also helps me start to move. I often dance in my bedroom, or do some yoga poses. I usually add in a bit of free-weight action to build strength.

When I do sit down at my desk, I add one more important component.

I pull a card from one or two oracle decks that I love. I keep a journal and do some writing about the message(s) they bring me. This part of my practice helps me focus in how I will show up for everything in my day.

Your elements might be different!

You might include prayer, reading, saying affirmations, singing, getting outdoors, playing an instrument, or drawing.

The order you choose for your elements is up to you.

And you might choose to practice at a another time of day.

The key is to make a practice of the routine that most appeals to you and most supports you.

How having a daily practice works

Having a regular practice with elements like those described above helps you to connect to your heart.

A morning practice orients you to your day in a positive way.

It activates your body, your mind and your spirit.

Your practice will become a ritual.

And rituals are powerful.

Rituals can help you move through challenges, create new habits, create deeper self-awareness, feel more grounded, and feel more motivated.

And a daily ritual like this is a wonderful way to practice self-love. The more you love and believe in yourself, the more easily you can create what you truly want in your life.

I would love for you to share a daily practice if you have one you love — or feel free to ask me any questions you may have.

Email me to get in touch.

Shifting perspective shifts energy

For most of us, each day is full — there’s work to do, family and friends to interact with, there are time-sensitive matters that arise, and external events compete for our attention.

It is easy to feel scattered, easy to focus on others and local and world events, easy to feel pulled into drama that is not ours.

When this happens to me, as has often been the case lately, I remind myself of a few things. They may be helpful for you.

We each have limited control

While it is tempting to try and control, or fix, or change things that concern us, we can only control ourselves.

We can make suggestions, offer to help, look into resources, and listen with an open heart.

But we cannot control the actions another person or group will take. Nor can we control their emotions.

The key is to stay focused on the control we have:

• for the lens through which we choose to see things

• for the responses we choose to bring to a given situation

• to consider what lesson we can learn

• to consider how a situation is here for us

• to send loving energy to others

• to hold love for ourselves. 

We always have the opportunity to create

Even when tension runs high, it is possible to create a response rather than default to anger, fear, disappointment, anxiety or bitterness.

How?

• Create a few quiet moments to breathe, connect to your heart, and get grounded.

• Create some questions about what other ways you can consider to see the situation.

• Create new thoughts to anchor to, that are supportive and calm.

• Create a new next action to take that serves you and helps, if there is help to offer. 

• Create peace in yourself when you have done the best you can, or at times where you have no opportunity to effect change.

The bottom line

We can each only live our own life. And that is powerful!

There is unlimited potential to harness that power and and there are unlimited ways to use it.

When you take ownership of your thoughts, your responses, and the actions you take, you build strength.

You are a powerful creator of a life that is focused, resilient, and self-loving.

Your strength, in turn, allows you to do the most good, no matter what is happening around you.

And, to reach a state where you can stand in your power in the midst of whatever daily events show up, takes time, practice and patience.

It happens one small step at a time. 

Are you ready for something new?

This weekend I was immersed in the past. I lost my father in November, and the house he and my mother lived in has just been sold.

My sisters and I are in the process of emptying the house, and my job the last few days has been going through mountains of family photos — many from boxes of my grandparents that have been sitting in the basement of my parents’ house for decades.

Treasures have been found, emotions have been sparked, and I am gaining insights about how lives have been lived over long spans of time.

Seeing my parents, and their parents, in the bloom of youth and as they aged, is very sweet.

Seeing myself as an infant, during my childhood, as a gawky teenager, a young adult, a bride, and a mother, I am reflecting on the life I have lived, and the life I am living now.

How are you living your life?

Looking back at my professional life, it’s clear that I started in a career I enjoyed, and that I continued for several decades without considering if it was really fulfilling. 

What I became aware of, when in 2009 I hired my first coach to help me with my business, was that I had been drifting through my life without looking at or thinking deeply about the big picture.

I, like most busy professionals, was focused primarily on what was right in front of me. Added to work, raising children, serving on boards, making time to be with my husband, and managing a household, and my attention and focus were fully occupied.

Things seemed to be fine.

What was pivotal for me was working with a coach who asked me to took clearly at my life, and how I was showing up in it. 

When I did that, I saw a lot I had not noticed before. Slow steps followed by more small steps, I started to see many ways I was not showing up fully in my life. I also realized I no longer loved the work I had been doing for nearly 3 decades.

Most significantly, I realized I was ready to make changes.

What does it mean to be ready?

There are times when you know you are ready — for something new, something different, something more exciting. You feel it, and you take a step to bring that change into your life.

More frequently, the question of “being ready” — to look for or accept that new job, to make that big decision, to step into something different even if it is not fully defined in your mind — is one that feels unsettling, or even frightening.

I believe that when you start to get curious and feel a stirring, it is a significant signal from your heart.

Your heart may be “ready” before your head catches up!

That was my experience, and I see it all the time when I speak to women who have hesitated to look deeply, or take action, to explore a stirring they feel.

Fear and doubt show up. Many women are willing to settle for what is now, rather than take a new step.

I get it. 

These 3 steps may help

If you are pondering something new or different and not moving forward, see what happens when you proceed like this:

1. Get clear

First get curious. Ask yourself questions like these, and answer them honestly.

• What is working optimally in your life?

• What feels like a struggle, or feels simply “ok”? 

• What lights you up?

• What do you want more of?

• What do you want less of?

Add more questions that come to mind, and look clearly at what you discover.

2. Set an intention

Your intention can be to research and learn more about a new possibility that you want to consider.

It can be to reach out to people who can advise and/or support you.

It can be to initiate a change — with a very small step, or a larger one.

3. Take action

This step is key.

Until you take some action (remember that small actions count!), and commit to staying in action, one of two things will happen.

Changes that you have declared you want will not happen.

Or you will be at the mercy of inevitable changes that happen around you. Rarely will changes like that match up to what you had envisioned for yourself.

Is it time to say “Yes” to your biggest, best life?

My life was pretty great before I looked closely and decided that I wanted less stress and to be more lit up every day.

I decided to create a more fulfilling future, and I have not stopped creating my life.

I have had great coaches, mentors and teachers who have supported me, inspired me, and believed in me. I am forever grateful to them, and grateful to myself.

I am aware that when I said, “Yes” to myself, I gave myself a gift far greater than I could have imagined on the day I started this journey.

I deeply appreciate all that my grandparents and parents did to set me on my path. And I am proud that I used that foundation as a springboard to a bigger, happier life — where I can help other great women to become the creators of the lives they yearn for.

I invite you to experience yourself living a life that delights you! 

And I’d be happy to explore the possibility of working with you to make that dream your reality.

My father, my grandfather and my mother holding me at the start of my life’s journey.