Take time to reflect

In the midst of this busy season, most of us have a packed schedule.

And lots of people wait until the new year rolls around to look ahead, make a resolution or two, and hope for good things to happen.

I get it. Carving out time for reflection can seem hard, or may feel selfish — particularly when the calendar is filled.

I invite you to consider the gifts that can emerge when you devote even a small bit of quiet time to reflect.

Take a few minutes for yourself 

Set aside a few minutes today — maybe over lunch, or before bed would be a good time to set a timer for 5 or 10 minutes for yourself.

Pull out a journal, paper or a laptop, and have your calendar handy. Then choose one or more of these questions to explore.

1. Look back at your year and see what you can celebrate about yourself.

Here are some questions you might ask:

• Were there times when you were brave, or dared to be bold? 

• When did you have an impact that was meaningful?

• Did you accomplish something you would not have expected? 

• When did your generosity have meaning for someone?

2. Look for lessons learned.

We learn valuable lessons in many ways. One way you may not have considered is to think about challenges you took on, or challenges that showed up this past year, that contributed to your path of success. 

See what you can spot. Can you feel gratitude for outcomes that those challenges led to in your life?

3. Look for things you want to emphasize next year, or let go of.

Perhaps there was an experience that opened your heart in a new way, or a person you got to know well and enjoyed, or a place you spent time that was especially meaningful. 

Note things you want more of next year.

Think, too, about things you want less of, or things you are ready to release.

Perhaps there are things you said “Yes” to that you didn’t like doing, or that have run their course. Maybe there are habits of thinking you are ready to shift away from. Maybe you want a change in a relationship.

By reflecting and taking note, you can set intentions for next year.

You can consider ways to make the positive things a meaningful part of your life in 2024.

And you can intentionally clear space for more positivity when you set clear intentions to release what does not make you happy.

Do it again!

Why not set aside a few minutes every other day for the rest of this month for some quiet reflection? Start with the suggestions above, and add to ways of mining the past year as new perspectives come to mind.

As you look back and consider your year in 2023, you will be likely to notice many things that will help you move into 2024 with more clarity, awareness and intention.

And if you want to share, I would be delighted to hear about the insights you discover. Email me.

Discovering strength in tough moments

Here we are in December. I am looking ahead to how I will conclude 2023, and where 2024 may take me. You may be thinking about that too.

2023 has been extraordinary in many ways — some wonderfully special, some tragic, personally and in the greater world.

All of the events in our lives offer us the opportunity to think about how to look at them, and to respond.

It is in the hard times that we can learn the most, if we choose to see those events as learning opportunities.

The challenges of dealing with loss and worry

November was a month of many contrasts for me, dominated by loss and stress.

I lost my father on November 13. He was 97, a great man who lived a remarkable and long life. He was dearly loved. I am grateful that I was with him on the 13th, hours before he took his last breath.

The day my father died my youngest sister was on a ventilator in an ICU, 10 miles away. She has been in multiple ICUs these last weeks, and has finally turned a corner. It looks like her will to live is stronger than all of the medical problems that shut down so many of her organ systems for nearly a month.

Grief and deep concern for my sister have been a tough pair of challenges. The space to grieve for my father has been squeezed by the time and attention devoted to my sister’s illness.

My heart has been sore for weeks on end.

And, blessedly, life continues, and it is full of dimension.

Both and… 

I made a point each day to look for ways to bring love and hope into my life, and into the world in any small way I could think of.

I wrote to all of you weekly, even as I chose not share anything about my father’s death until my sister was conscious and we could tell her. Writing to you was a gift I gave myself. It felt good to share what I hope were meaningful ideas.

Amidst the sadness and not-knowing worry, the joy of spending Thanksgiving with my children and sweet grandchildren was a balm for my spirit. I felt deep gratitude for so much love in my life, and savored the the sweetness of being with little precious ones.

I created time to write and to paint. That helped me feel deeply, and move emotion that seemed trapped and fraught.

I learned to be patient and to trust that things would work out as they were meant to. And I learned to accept that I could only do so much.

I could love and support my family members, especially my sister's children. I could take care of practical matters. I could do my best to bring love into the world. I could support my clients. And I needed to take care of myself.

Of course I wish the circumstances in my family and the world around me could have been different. And yet, I learned so much for which I am grateful.

Conclusions and beginnings

As we are all moving into this last month of 2023, I invite you to join me in taking a look back at everything you have experienced this year.

Can you see things you learned, or can learn now by looking through a lens of openness and gratitude? Are there lessons and insights you see with clarity now, that you may have missed as they happened?

Now think about 2024 and all that is possible for you. What do you want your year to look like and feel like?

What strength and insights can you bring into the new year based on your reflections of 2023?

And here is one last question:

How can you live your biggest, best life today and all month long, so that you can create dynamically in 2024?

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Email me with your plans for living your best life.

Slow down to find clarity

Perhaps the weather is finally getting more seasonally cool where you are, as it is here in Boston. The fall season brings many things to mind.

Like many people, I am thinking about how I want to make the most of the final quarter of this year. 

And with lots of big ideas percolating, it would be easy for me to drive myself hard. After all, there are barely 12 weeks until 2024 gets underway.

For most of my life I was focused on pushing myself. It was such a “normal” way for me to live and work that I never considered the possibility of a different approach to my life.

What about you?

Is constant pushing your “normal”? 

If it is, does it make you happy?

Do you hold the belief that it’s the only way to get things done and achieve?

What if there is another way?

I have been learning to slow down for over a decade! 

I have become keenly aware that, for me, being thoughtful and taking intentional, clear action works much better than plowing frantically through my days.

Going more slowly to get more done, and to be more satisfied with my work and my life, was counterintuitive when my first coach introduced the concept to me.

Being willing to try it, finding ways to experience more satisfaction and accomplishment, and consistently practicing over time has made a huge difference in my life.

I am clear about the benefits of living and working without “push energy” — that I had thought was the only way to succeed. (I, like most of us, had internalized the way our culture glorifies and celebrates hard, hard work). 

My new approach has proven to be remarkably beneficial.

3 steps you can try for yourself

Rather than plowing through your days, living with stress, and collapsing in exhaustion, here is a way to start approaching your life differently that you can explore.

1. Make a small shift to create space for you to “be.”

When you start your day with space for thinking, feeling and intentional planning, many things will start to change.

Even if you have kids to get to school or other demands on your time, think about adjustments you can make to start your day in a new way.

You might realize that getting to bed a bit earlier will enable you to wake up sooner than you have been, so you can give yourself the gift of 10 to 20 minutes to yourself.

You might create a new morning pattern or routine with those in your household, that provides you with some precious quiet time for yourself.

You might decide that a current habit can be replaced, that will support a quiet, focused mind. (For me, switching away from listening to news first thing in the morning, and instead choosing music I was in the mood for, made a wonderful difference.)

If you want more ideas, I have a lovely guide, Creating Space for YOU, to help you do just that. Just email me and I will get it right off to you,

2. Choose how to center yourself.

You might write in a journal.

You can quietly list things for which you are grateful.

You might want to move your body in a particular way — doing yoga poses, moving through a quick workout, taking a walk outside.

With some focus established, you will be ready to think about your day with quiet energy and sharper perspective.

3. Set your intention.

Setting a clear intention for yourself makes great things possible.

Your intention could be to move thoughtfully through your day, rather than rushing and reacting.

You might intend to show up boldly in a conversation, or get something specific accomplished with focus and ease.

You might intend to sustain a positive frame of mind all day.

You might intend to ask for help for a matter that has challenged you, or to make something easier to accomplish.

Your intention may well include several components.

The key is to be loving to yourself as you set intentions that will support you to have the best day you can.

You are responsible for your experiences

When you set the stage for quiet, intentional thinking each morning, and do as much as you can to follow through on the intentions you set, you will see meaningful changes unfold in your life.

You have this opportunity.

You have the power to bring change into your life, to live in a sustainable way, that enables you to thrive.

You can make the most of 2023 and step into a new year with clear energy, sharp focus, greater clarity and deep enthusiasm.

That is what being a creator of your life, living big, is all about.

If you want to talk about how you can begin to make significant change in your life, I may be able to help.

The best way to start is to book a quick intro call with me.

You are under no pressure, no obligation. I promise only an honest conversation where you can talk about the deep desires you have for your life and what's in the way for you now. I can share fresh insight and perspective, and tell you about programs I offer that may be a fit for you.

Email me, or find a time on my calendar here.