Love is often complicated

Remembering a very happy Father’s Day in 2019, With my grandson and my parents

Lots of people find Father’s Day and Mother’s Day to be contrived, as the holidays were created for commercial opportunity. After all, they contend, every day should be a day to think about and express love to our parents.

And while I appreciate that the greeting card and gift sales, and restaurant meals consumed to note the day, can be a turn-off for some, I find it lovely to set aside two special days to really focus on one’s parents.

Much like a birthday celebration, putting someone you love in the spotlight feels wonderful. And it makes them feel wonderful. What’s the downside to making these joy-filled, love-filled days?

And it can be complicated…

Mother’s Day this year tugged at my heart. While I was delighted to be the focus of loving attention from my family — including a special brunch on a sunny patio with my children and my two precious grandchildren joyfully dashing around, this was the first Mother’s Day since I lost my mother in August.

I longed for the sweet days of years past, when I’d call her, send flowers and gifts, and tell her how much I loved her. The last time I got to do that was on Zoom last year.

As you can imagine, Father’s Day on Sunday was especially dear for me. Having just returned home from a second hospitalization in just a few weeks, my dad is slowly recuperating.

We drove to Philadelphia for the weekend and I was so grateful to be with him. The fact that Father’s Day fell on the weekend we were visiting made it even more special.

I treasure my father. I treasure having had this time with him in person, and surrounding him with love. It was a treat for both of us.

And yes, we brought him a big bouquet of flowers on Sunday morning, that I hope will brighten his days and remind him, for many days to come, of how much we all love him.

Today is also my mother’s birthday

My mother would have been 92 today. A year ago she was quite ill, and her birthday was celebrated on Zoom. She was happy that we could “be together” virtually. The flowers and gifts we’d sent were there. It was the best we could do.

Today my heart is sore. I hear her voice, but only in my memory of it. And I am doing my best to stay focused on celebrating her life.

My dad and I have a date for a Zoom dinner together, to reminisce and share stories about her magic. He loves to tell me about how he was smitten by her from the first moment he saw her, how beautiful she was, and how much he loved their 70 years together.

I am focused on savoring the joy

I realized this morning that it was Father’s Day two years ago that my parents were in Boston with us, just a month after the birth of my granddaughter — their second great-grandchild.

They were both vibrantly healthy and filled with delight to meet Aria and be with all of us.

I cherish these sweet memories, and so many more. I savor the joy of my weekend visit with my father. All of the precious times I hold in my heart serve as a counterbalance to the sadness at losing my mother, and the concerns I have as I watch my father slowly rebuild his strength and health.

We need to feel it all

It’s great to feel happy. It is hard to grieve, to long, to feel worry or pain.

Many people push away the hard emotions, which is understandable. But we need to feel it all.

Feeling the emotions connects us to our heart. And spending some time there can open us up.

One great path to moving through the hard emotions (and elevating great ones) is to use the emotion as “fuel” for something creative.

For me that is often writing or making art. For others it can be time digging in a garden, or moving to music, or playing an instrument, or making something with their hands.

Today I will cook something my mother loved to make, as cooking was one of her favorite ways to create — she was renowned for the food she lovingly prepared and served on gorgeous tables for family and friends.

And I have a date to create with a small group of artists with whom I have met regularly for over a decade. It feels perfect that our time together fell on my mother’s birthday, as my mother was a great artist in addition to a great cook.

I invite you to express yourself in a creative way any time you have emotions to transform or elevate. Maybe you’ll decide to do that today — our emotions are always there to one degree or another, always ready to be put to use in a creative way.

If you have never tried it, give it a go. It always works for me.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

The perfect week for combining love + creativity

Here we are — the big holiday week of the year has arrived, and it’s also the week we celebrate the Winter Solstice.

As I do not celebrate Christmas, I enjoy seeing the pleasure so many friends experience on this holiday. And I am always glad to rejoice in celebrating the Solstice. While December 21st was the shortest, darkest day of the year, we now begin to enjoy a bit more daylight each day. This always lifts my spirits as we move into a new year.

And what a year this has been. I feel confident saying this is a year we will all remember, and we are all ready to bid adieu.

Now, more than any year in memory, we all need an abundance of light and love!

Make this a week to slow down, relax, and consciously welcome love

Even though we cannot be with friends and family in person as we long to, there are many ways to create connection and share love.

We must be extra-careful to stay safe and keep others safe. But that does not mean we need to feel apart in our hearts.

What new ways of connecting can you create now, that will hold meaning for you and those about whom you care?

While many of us feel “zoomed out” by work meetings, Zoom has proven to be a great way to share a meal, play a game, meet with family members at great distances to laugh together, and do creative projects (from my now-virtual monthly IgNight Creative Evenings to my weekly art-making dates with my grandson).

There are countless ways to create meaningful and memorable connections.

No matter what is happening around us and for us, we always have the power to create

Some of us have moved through the months of the pandemic with more ease than others. Many have suffered terribly. We have all been challenged — and changed.

And, as always, some people in similar situations fair better than others. Those that do best are those who are able to find the most positive frame of mind and the most positive path to pursue.

This is what I call creating our way forward

When things get tough, a creator looks for possibilities that are not obvious.

A creator considers new ways of responding. This can mean new ways of getting support, or new ways of coping with stress — whether it’s through creative expression, by reaching out, by ramping up self-care, by getting out in nature, or anything else. By choosing to create each next step with intention, rather than reacting, amazing things are possible.

A creator tries and tests new approaches. It might be for managing day-to-day life, for running a business or bringing in new streams of income, for setting up ways family members can all cohabit and do their work and learning, or anything else.

A creator keeps an open mind and stays curious. When you ask yourself, “What’s possible?” you are always considering how to find the best path forward.

A creator also looks for wonder and tunes in to gratitude every day.

Approaching your life this way keeps the heart open. When you combine an open heart and an open mind new possibilities show up.

Love + Creativity make a powerful combination

I invite you to bring love and light into your life in as many ways as you can dream up.

All that dreaming is connected to your creative power. You have a bottomless well of creativity. You cannot run out of it, so use it with abandon!

When you are focused on love, and you create with intention, fear stays at bay and joy increases. And who doesn’t want a tremendously joy-filled holiday season?

Start now, and it will be easy to carry this beautiful energy into the new year.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Where are you headed and who do you want to be?

Are you tired?

Do you drive yourself, always doing, and rarely allowing space for considering how you want to BE in your life?

Do you live without considering what really matters to you, or how you want to feel each day?

Do you have a compass set for where you’re headed in your life, or are you drifting?

These are all themes that came up on Sunday, when I had the great pleasure to co-lead a virtual Vision Board Party, attended by 50 people from all over the world, with my long-time mentor and colleague, Peleg Top.

After years of leading my powerful vision board workshops in person in Boston, this was a new experience for me. I had no idea what it would be like in the Zoom environment.

In short, it was a fabulous afternoon.

Seeing what happened for everyone in the space we created, guiding them to move through a process that got everyone focused, clear and energized, and then hearing the insights shared by so many, was remarkable.

For many participants, this was their first experience creating a vision board. Others found the process helped them go much deeper than when they had made a vision board in the past. And creating in a community was something new for lots of the attendees.

It was gratifying to hear tremendous appreciation for the new foundation they created for their lives, and hear their enthusiasm for moving into the new year with so much clarity.

Are you looking ahead?

It’s easy to get caught up in the day-to-day, especially as the holiday season is upon us, the end of the year is nearing, and we are all coping with the challenges of living through the pandemic.

When we do not pause and find quiet, and make space for ourselves to consider what we want to create in our lives, we miss the opportunity to be intentional about how we live.

My invitation to you is to slow down and look ahead.

Think about what you can create to make this season one of meaning and joy, in spite of the need to be socially distanced. How can you create connection, happiness and love in new and special ways?

And while you are in that thoughtful mode, consider who you want to BE in the new year, and what you want to do and have.

Even if you don’t create a vision board, create a vision.

See that vision in your mind’s eye. Savor it. Write about it in your journal.

But don’t stop there.

Think about one step you can take now, one small new way of showing up or taking action, that will help you step into this season and the year ahead as the person you want to BE.

Let’s look ahead together.

I will be a featured speaker on the Anchoring the Consciousness of Oneness World Summit, that is focused on the concept of “oneness” in mind, body and spirit. I am honored to be a part of this special program, and eager to be a participant, too, so I can learn from many other great teachers.

The Summit runs December 21 to 27. By registering you can access the content through April 2021.

And because people who did not make it to the Vision Board Party on Sunday have been asking, I am planning to offer another virtual Vision Board Experience soon. Stay tuned to hear about the date and how to register.

To take a bigger step into your ideal future, let’s talk.

If you want to make a bigger commitment to yourself and your future, Live Big Live! may be an ideal opportunity. We just launched, but 2 more women can still join this powerful program and not miss a beat.

Check out what the first group had to say about their experience. If you want to hear more, let’s have a Live Big Breakthrough Call to explore the fit for you — now, or when Live Big Live! starts again in March.

Stay safe and well, and stay creative.

Pair gratitude and vision to live big!

Now that Thanksgiving is in the rear view mirror, many of us have focused on gratitude and moved on.

After all, today’s the first day of December, and I hear that people are already decorating for Christmas.

For many it’s exciting to be on to the next holiday, and the next effort to bring some light to a time when it's dark, getting colder, and there’s a clear realization that our need to stay separate from friends and family is going to continue for quite a while.

Let’s not leave a focus on gratitude behind now!

Gratitude has deep meaning for me — I devoted a chapter to the topic in my book Live Big. It’s certainly not a one-time-a-year subject.

As I work with my clients, the opportunity to practice gratitude inevitably comes into the work. And while the concept is met with varying degrees of enthusiasm, when my clients make it a focus it always proves to be valuable.

And last week I was honored to be part of a Gratitude Gathering that my coach and colleague, Peleg Top, created. Take a listen to the wonderful program here. (My segment is the first after Peleg’s opening remarks.)

I also highly recommend this episode of Hidden Brain, hosted by Shankar Vedantam and featuring David DeSteno, Professor of Psychology at Northeastern University. You will gain fascinating insight into the ways that gratitude improves health and well-being, and how a practice of gratitude can actually help you achieve your goals.

How can gratitude fuel a richer life for you?

As discussed in the three Gratitude Gathering segments, and in the Hidden Brain podcast episode, you can bring gratitude into your life in a range of interesting ways.

Choose the way or ways that feel most appealing to you and see what happens in your life.

Your foundation of gratitude can inform a fresh vision, too.

As you bring more gratitude into your life, you are able to set a brighter, bigger vision for yourself.

I have two invitations for you.

1. Join me on December 13, when I’ll again partner with Peleg Top, as a guest teacher for a virtual Vision Board Party. Making a vision board now is a great way to step into 2021 with clarity. I would love for you to be there.

2. To give yourself a bigger gift to create your best future— to set a big new vision with extraordinary clarity and deep guidance and support — Live Big Live! may be a perfect fit for you. This powerful new program, that I created last summer, was life-changing for the first group of women who experienced it. (You can see and hear these women describe their experiences and outcomes yourself.)

The next Live Big Live! will launch soon, and will support another great group of like-minded women to close out 2020 on a high note and move into 2021 as remarkable creators of the visions they are guided to define for their futures.

The first step to explore this opportunity is to schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me. (Book a call soon, as the next Live Big Live! is right around the corner and there are only a few spots still available.) Whether or not we both think Live Big Live! is right for you now, I will be glad for us to talk.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

My holiday gift for you

Whether you are busy cooking, or traveling, hanging out and relaxed, or stressed over last-minute tasks as this email catches your eye, the holidays are impacting all of in us in one way or another.

I have a few wishes — and invitations — for you right now (that I welcome you to share as widely as you like).

I wish you holidays filled with light and love.
I wish you time to savor all that is wonderful in your life.
I invite you to create space to contemplate what you truly want.
I invite you to look for opportunities for rich conversations.
I invite you to create from the energy of whatever emotions show up, in any way you are moved to do that.
I invite you to bring play and laughter into your life.
I invite you to remember the importance of self-care, and do something special for yourself every day.
I invite you to slow down so that everything will be easier (and better).
I wish you happy anticipation about the possibilities that lie ahead for you.
I wish you willingness and commitment to pursue what deeply matters to you.
I wish you peace and joy.

Sent to you with love and gratitude.

A perfect time for reflection

Most of us are super busy during the holiday season — getting ready, traveling, celebrating in all sorts of ways. There’s lots of emotion in the air (and often a mix of emotions). 

Happily, we get a short respite between Christmas and the start of the new year. 

I treasure this space. With festivities behind us and so many people on holiday, things get quiet. I find this to be a perfect time for reflection. 

Reflection is something most people never get to doing. Life is always hectic! But when you make time to slow down and look back great things happen.

The benefits of taking time to reflect

Meaningful reflection requires time and space. You must slow down and get quiet, and that in itself is an important gift you can give yourself. 

Taking time to reflect enables you to gain perspective. Rather than drifting from day to day and week to week until a year has sped by without any insight, when you create focused, quiet time you can see so much! With thought and attention, you can consider what worked in your life, and appreciate yourself and celebrate your accomplishments. You can also spot the patterns or habits that kept you stuck. 

The insights gleaned from reflection afford you tremendous opportunities for moving into your future. This is a time to consider what you want to build on, as well as what you want to do less of — or stop doing altogether. Consider the qualities you need to cultivate or nurture to live your best life. Start to consider the goals you want to set, and how you can reach them.

5 tips and suggestions for meaningful reflecting  

Why not create a special ritual for this process? You might even want to begin an annual tradition of reflecting. Here are some ideas to consider:

1. Set aside some time for yourself at a particular time of day and find a place you like — a cozy nook, in front of a fire, a special chair — to settle into.

2. You might want to ask someone to be a partner. Sitting together, you can do some thinking and writing, and then share your insights and ideas with one another.

3. Designating a lovely journal for reflecting can make this a more special experience. And the journal can also be your place to note reflections at regular intervals during the year. (You might reflect monthly or at the start of each new season.) Your periodic reflections will help you stay clear and aware as you move through the year.

4. You can approach the process of reflecting in a range of interesting ways. One possibility for getting started is go through your calendar and review the entries for each month, then note insights that come to mind. 

   Another approach is to create lists as your jumping off point. Try noting your top 10 highlights of the year or top 10 lessons learned or the 10 most important things you want to stop doing in the future. Next, jot down WHY each thing is on your list, and what you learned related to the entry. Before long, you’ll have a rich array of insights.

I would love to hear about how you reflect on the year that’s winding down, and what your big aha’s and take-aways are. Leave a comment here, or email me.

I would be happy to hear from you if you want to talk about how coaching can support you to live with clarity, intention, and commitment this year. I welcome you to get in touch to talk with me about how I can help.

I wish you and yours a New Year of living big!