Overcoming Doubt: Embrace Your Authentic Self with Confidence

Being myself — authentically and unapologetically me — and feeling completely comfortable showing up without pretense, is one of the hardest things I’ve learned to do.

It was not so many years ago that I thought I had to dress and speak the way others expected me to.

I almost always compared myself to other women I admired (and often thought I did not measure up).

I worried that I was not smart enough or capable enough, and had not secured enough degrees.

I frequently felt that I was not good enough.

All of those feelings amounted to a heavy load to bear.

I lived with doubt. I lived with a lot of shame. And I was pretty sure that almost all of the great women around me had it all together — that they were fully confident being their authentic amazing selves.

It also seemed to me that the way I thought about myself was something I would always have to live with. 

What I learned that surprised me

I started to work with my first coach about 15 years ago. I wanted help with my business at a time that the economy was brutal. In short, I wanted strategies, and nothing more.

Much to my surprise, my coach probed deeply and asked me lots of uncomfortable questions about how I showed up in the world (or didn't), and those questions brought me face-to-face with truths I was embarrassed to acknowledge.

And, I could not deny the truth — that I was operating as a smaller version of who I really was, for fear that I was not good enough.

With loving support, I was able to fully face realities I had not dared to look squarely at before. And that support from my coach enabled me to begin to show up more fully, even though it felt terrifying at first.

I eventually decided to sell my business and dove into studying the mysteries and power of creativity. After training to be a coach, I started coaching other great women who yearned to create truly fulfilling lives where they could show up as their brilliant selves, without doubting that they were not enough.

Do you feel good enough?

If you can answer that question with a whole-hearted, “Yes!” I am thrilled for you.

Your next step into creating a future that will light you up will begin with a foundation that is strong.

And if your answer is something like mine was not so long ago, or you know you had that confidence at one point and for whatever reason it has slipped away, I get it.

It can feel sad, scary, shameful or a mix of all of those emotions. It can feel daunting to imagine yourself owning your greatness without the need to fake it or struggle.

And I know that you can get there.

I did it, and I am honored to guide women though their journeys to standing proudly in their unique greatness.

Begin with taking baby steps

It feels daunting to attempt big changes all at once — and pushing yourself to make those efforts can lead to overwhelm and shut-down. Why not take a small first step instead — and why not give one a try today?

If you tend to dress in ways that feel “safe” at work, you might add a dash of color or add an accessory that expresses a facet of yourself you typically don’t show. 

If you don't have a headshot that reflects your warmth, humor, or any other aspect of your personality, consider engaging a photographer and then update your LinkedIn profile. 

If you have something to contribute and have held back for fear that your ideas are not good enough or may get shot down, think of someone you trust and test out ways to offer your suggestions with that friend or colleague. With some feedback, practice and encouragement, it will be easier for you to choose a time and place, and feel comfortable, speaking up.

Getting help makes a world of difference. Having help enabled me to move beyond my limitations — and do it with more ease and more quickly than what was possible on my own. 

It would be my pleasure to speak with you so that you can explore the ways coaching can help you to fully embrace your specialness and share it with the world.

Schedule a chat with me here.

Manage Stress with These Powerful Techniques

Few would disagree that when we operate in a stressful environment we are unable to be our best.

And few of us are free from stress these days.

The current external environment often changes by the hour, and in ways that are unsettling and even frightening.

And day-to-day, normal stresses arise at work, in relationships, in our communities.

Even the “good” stresses of welcoming a new baby to the world or moving to a new home take a toll.

How to manage your energy in the midst of stress

It may help to consider that we are all connected — we are connected to other people and the natural world through an energetic web. We do not operate in a vacuum.

This web of connection — that may sound obvious to you, or may sound a bit woo — is something we can tap in meaningful ways, especially when we feel unsteady.

If you are willing to accept that concept, try these approaches when you find stress interfering with your ability to think clearly or take action without fear.

1. Get quiet and connect to your heart 

When you take a break of just one to five minutes to sit quietly and breath, your nervous system will settle. Sit in a comfortable position, preferably in a quiet place, and put a hand on your heart. As you breathe slowly, send loving thoughts to your heart. Sense the connection in your heart to people you love. Think of people you admire. Imagine a beautiful place in nature. Sit and savor the feelings.

2. Remind yourself of all the ways you are special

The benefits of thinking self-loving thoughts are more meaningful than you might imagine. Studies show that self-compassion, and self-loving thoughts and practices, decrease anxiety, depression, and loneliness, and that stress is reduced at a cellular level! Remind yourself that you are wonderful. You are resourceful. You have help and love all around you. Think and speak lovingly to yourself, and know that the more you feel love and share love with others, the more love will expand in your life.

3. Connect to others

We are social beings, and while many of us think it’s best do things on our own, and that doing things alone proves that we are capable, the truth is that we are stronger — and more is possible — when we choose to be connected socially, choose to collaborate, choose to ask for help. Making these connections is a powerful way to live with less stress.

You can leverage your invisible connections

When you bring consciousness to, and adopt practices that connect your elevated, self-loving spirit to other people — and to the natural world — you are likely to find that your life gets better.

Things will feel — and be — easier for you.

You will speak differently. You will listen differently. You will likely notice subtleties and ways to connect to others more deeply.

As you share both energetically and in real-time with others, and appreciate the wonder all around you, your connection to your deep desires will surface more easily, your spirit will soar, and you will live with more joy.

Imagine what can be possible for you when you bring a focus to all the ways you can fully love yourself, and to making true energetic connection with others.

If you want some personal guidance for how you can build self-love or tap into the energy of love with more ease, schedule a chat with me here.

Clarity comes when you focus on what’s possible

We are hard-wired to look back — to review, evaluate, and process past events.

And, while there are often great lessons to be learned when we look back, there are also traps that we can easily fall into:

• We replay past failures

• We relive disappointing moments

• We get mired in resentment, often blaming ourselves or others

• We sink into regret

Consider where you focus your attention

Whenever an outcome is less than ideal, you have the opportunity to make a conscious decision about how you will reflect on it and what to do once you’ve done that.

When you take stock of a situation, ask questions like:

• When I look at the matter clearly, is there something I can learn from it?

• Did I make clear decisions at the start of the process?

• Did I miss seeing something at the time that is apparent in hindsight?

• What would I do differently knowing what I now know?

• Will this matter to me a month from now, or a year from now?

• Can I laugh about this?

The answers to these questions can be valuable. And when you focus on the insights you gleaned, and can even find humor to tap into, it will be easier to stay clear of the urge to rehash the events or suffer regret.

Next try asking these questions:

• What does my heart desire now?

• What is the next step I can take to move ahead positively?

• Have I asked good questions related to taking my next move?

• How do I want to show up and feel going forward?

You get to choose the way you’ll show up

When you remember that you always have the opportunity to choose your frame of mind as you move ahead, you can make a choice to: 

• believe in yourself

• be courageous

• be bold

• approach what is next with joy

Keep your focus on where you want to go — and be propelled by the desire you have connected to.

And trust yourself to make wise decisions, based on what you have learned and based on the desire that is propelling you.

The past does not define your future!

Every day is filled with possibilities and opportunities.

You can always tap the vast resource of creative power you possess.

You can always move boldly toward a vision that shines bright for you.

Or simply taking steps to make the next hours and days the best that are possible is fantastic! 

Even when you have experienced a letdown, made a misstep, or failed miserably — and all of us have! — when you embrace the truth that you are powerful and you are brilliant, you can bring that energy to everything you do.

What is possible for you is truly limitless.

You were born to shine. We all were.

This is what taking time for yourself can unlock

How do you show up for yourself? 

Do you prioritize your health?

Do you make happiness a clear focus?

Do you also make space to deeply explore what you desire, what your heart yearns for?

And if you have connected to a deep passion, purpose or desire, have you taken the time to create a clear vision for your future where those desires will be a focal point in your life?

The last two are questions that many women fail to consider. In the midst of a busy life, they focus on what needs to be attended to and squeeze in a bit of self-care and things they enjoy where they can.

And, as the days, months, seasons and years roll along, they often come to realize that something has been missing.

What can happen when you take time for you

Last week at my annual Live Big Live! Retreat, an intimate group of remarkable women came together to explore their biggest desires and create powerful visions for the next part of their lives.

These women made rich connections. As we moved through a 3-day process that included exploration and creative experiences that opened them to insights and awareness, they supported one another to bravely go into their hearts and mine for what matters most to each of them now.

These three examples illustrate what can emerge when you devote a few days of your life to yourself:

One woman…
surprised herself by realizing she is ready to do something bigger and braver than she ever has before. And, even as she shared that she was intimidated by that audacious desire, she declared that she was going to move forward with “baby steps” rather than pull back from fear.

One woman…
realized that her passion for helping other women who are moving through, or are on the other side of abuse, is something she wants to combine with her professional work. She’s not yet sure of how it will happen. She is sure that she will explore and get help and find a way to have the bigger impact she feels is her life’s purpose.

One woman…
discovered that while she came to the retreat with one intention, she realized a need to significantly build self-love — and that learning to fully love and appreciate herself will facilitate her ability to bring her other desires into the world without doubts or struggle.

Here is what one of the retreat participants told me:

“I found what I truly want to create in my life. We all only get one!
And I am ready to articulate it clearly and make it real now.”

Are you ready to create your biggest life?

Choosing yourself — to experience the deep impact of going on a retreat, or to work with a coach — can help you move forward with clarity and focus, to live your best, most satisfying and meaningful life.

The photos below will give you a glimpse into what the Live Big Live! Retreat looked like.

The next retreat I am leading with be L’Aventure Française. It’s a 12-day experience in Paris and the French countryside that was a life-changing experience last year and will be spectacular this fall, October 7 through 20.

I would be delighted to tell you all about that, or explore other ways I may be able to support you to step into all of your creative power and live the passionate life you dream of

Schedule a chat with me here.

The Power of Setting Personal Standards (and why they matter)

Many women operate with so much intensity, aiming to do their work and manage a range of responsibilities in their lives, that they feel triumphant every time they make it through a day having checked off all, or most of, what was on their to-do list.

I see, time and again, that when living at that pace they often skimp on thinking about how they set personal standards — standards for the way they treat themselves and standards for how they expect others to treat them.

Being deliberate about defining and standing by your standards has a huge bearing on the quality of your day-to-day life.

Why set standards?

Whether you do it with careful attention or not, you set agreements with yourself about how you conduct yourself in the world.

Well-considered standards keep you clear as you navigate each day. They also help you to communicate clearly, so others know how you want and expect to be treated.

Clear standards impact the actions you take.

They also help you make decisions such as deciding not to interact with people who are inconsiderate, or otherwise fail to meet your standards of integrity.

When you set clear standards you know when you are willing to compromise and what important matters are non-negotiable.

Having clear standards also enables you to make decisions with ease.

What standards can look like

You may set a standard to treat yourself with respect and kindness. This standard will impact how you take care of yourself and whether you make time for the self-care you define as important to your wellbeing. It also influences the tone and content of your self-talk.

You may set a standard to treat others with honesty, respect and integrity that are in alignment with your values.

You may set a standard that entails creating healthy boundaries — in personal and professional situations.

You may set a standard to be a learner, to build skills or expand your mind. 

A standard you set might focus on what excellence looks like for you, and what you strive for.

The benefits of setting standards with care

When you take the time to think about setting standards that matter to you, and begin to live by those standards, you will feel grounded and clear as you move through your days.

That clarity will also support you to feel confident. You will notice feeling more sure about the actions you take, and that having what likely felt like a challenging conversation in the past is now far less uncomfortable. 

In time, having clear standards supports you to have stronger relationships and to find more satisfaction in your life.

Today’s the perfect time to set a clear standard

While it might feel daunting to consider this topic, you can simply devote a few minutes today to considering one thing you want to establish as a personal standard.

After you put that standard in place you can think about additional standards to bring into your life over time.

The rewards of honoring your clear standards will be felt quickly.

And as you experience the meaningful impact, you will be inspired to continue to clarify and implement new standards.

This is a powerful way to create a spacious, fulfilling life.

What’s stirring in your heart right now?

Maybe you are celebrating a significant life moment this spring.

Families are sharing photos of graduations — from 5th grade into middle school, all the way to PhD completions at universities.

It’s a season of weddings and baby showers, family reunions and birthdays.

My grandchildren turned 6 and 10 in the last few weeks! And I just returned from a family wedding filled with glorious love and joy.

I am also feeling especially delighted about my work now.

I have been leading the prelude to the Live Big Live! Retreat for the last 5 weeks.

Over these weeks I’ve witnessed tremendous insights emerge and special new friendships form as we’ve moved through the virtual portion of the program. This lead-up to our 3 big days together — happening this week — was designed to provide a strong foundation of clarity for each woman, upon which she can build at the retreat.

As we have moved through a weekly sequence of Discovery Sheets, we have shared deeply on group calls. And I have had private coaching sessions with each woman in this fantastic cohort.

I followed my heart

When I created this retreat in 2020 (this is the 11th Live Big Live!), I had a big goal in mind — to provide great women with a process that would guide them to deeply connect to their hearts and desires, and based on that clarity set a compelling vision for the next part of their lives. And, I designed a structured process for each woman to create a personalized way to start making that vision her reality, so that when she left the retreat she would be clear about how to truly live into her vision.

I knew in my heart that we needed more than 3 days together to bring this way of supporting significant change into reality. Thus the idea to meet weekly in advance of the retreat was born.

What do you yearn to create?

I trusted my intuition and my heart when it signaled me that everyone would get her biggest outcome if she came to the retreat with a solid foundation in place that she could build on. 

Other people told me that the additional component of the process was not necessary. They said I did not need to do one-on-one sessions either. They advised me to keep it simple.

And, while that advice might have been fine for others, it was not right for me, and what I wanted to offer the women about whom I care deeply.

Do you have a deep desire to create something new?

Do you feel like there is something more, something bigger you want to pursue?

Even if you do not yet know exactly what that looks like, I invite you to keep the desire alive.

Journal freely and see what emerges. Imagine possibilities and talk about them with people you feel close to.

And get support to accelerate your movement forward. I know that had I tried to create Live Big Live! on my own, it would have taken much longer and would likely have entailed more trial and error than the way I shaped it with the help of my own coach.

Your dreams matter!

When you honor your heart and take a fresh new step toward living a purpose-filled, spacious life, you will find satisfaction and joy.

And all of us will benefit from your energy and contribution.

So connect to your desires and hold them with reverence.

Create ideas, create opportunities, create small steps forward. With every step you will build momentum.

I cannot wait to celebrate you!

The Magic of Being Fully Present

How often do you intentionally slow down and bring your full attention to the present moment?

As much as I appreciate the importance and benefits of being fully present (which I devoted an entire chapter to in my book!), I tend to move through my busy days thinking about what has happened (in the immediate past moments as well as events long past), or anticipating what is likely to happen based on decisions and actions I am anticipating or taking. 

I rarely slow down to be fully present.

I typically move from one thing to the next, especially when my calendar is crowded.

Rather than pausing to focus on what I just experienced or what is happening right now, I try to remind myself to get curious and consider what I can — or want to — create that is aligned and best for me as a next step, 

Because over time I have realized that each time I fail to catch myself when falling into the looking back/looking ahead trap, I short-change myself.

The lesson that hit home for me

Two weeks ago I wrote to you on the first full day of an annual writing retreat I have gifted myself for 3 years. Now that I’ve been home I can see even more clearly how meaningful that time was for me.

While I dared to venture into being a painter in 2015, I never envisioned myself also being a writer. (Other than penning my posts each week, I’d never thought to write stories, or a memoir, or poems.)

Writing seemed mysterious, and something other people did.

Then I was invited to listen to women writers read portions of their work, and I met the teacher who guided them. I was impressed, but still did not think of exploring what writing could mean for me.

In December 2023 I was invited to a weekend writing retreat that was offered in Boston, and I decided to step out of my comfort zone and see how it felt to write from the deep voice — as my teacher, Leslie Berliant calls the approach she teaches.

Trusting myself to explore something new turned out to be pivotal in my life. I had a new outlet for expression that has been enormously rewarding.

And one huge benefit I did not notice at the start is that writing slows me down.

The gift of going slow

Writing or painting may not be creative pursuits that you love (though maybe if you try them you will discover that one or both of those ways to connect to your heart and create is exciting).

Maybe you love to be outside and tend your garden.

Maybe you love to create with ingredients in your kitchen.

Maybe you love doing tactile things with your hands, or dreaming up grand initiatives to lead.

Any way that you choose to create with intention will slow you down — whether your ideal pace is shorter sprints or devoting extended time periodically.

Going slow when you get fully absorbed in something that brings you satisfaction, allows you to express yourself, opens your heart, and will positively impact everything else in your life.

Your observations will be keener.

Your intuition will be easier to access.

Your lit up energy will be a magnet for other people. 

Try slowing down to create today

I invite you to test my theory for yourself.

Start with something that appeals to you (maybe pull out colored pencils and an adult coloring book, or do a few pages of doodles) and devote a little piece of your day to it.

Repeat — creating that way or trying other ways to create — in the week ahead.

Take note of how you feel when you slow down and allow yourself to get absorbed in something that brings you pleasure. And how slowing down impacts the other things you focus on in your life.

I’d love to hear about what you experience. Email me and let me know.

Stuck in indecision? Here's what helped me break free.

How do you feel about making decisions?

Maybe you feel clear about some matters and hesitate about others. Maybe making decisions frequently hangs you up.

I vividly recall a conversation with my Production Manager years ago when I was running my design firm. In a 360 annual review conversation she told me that she wanted me to make faster decisions. I was unaware of how much frustration she felt while waiting for me to make decisions. She said deciding more quickly (no matter what I was mulling over) would enable her to take action, and that it would be fine if my decisions were not always “perfect.” We could always course-correct together and keep moving forward. 

That one conversation was a game-changer for me.

As a life-long perfectionist I always fretted over making the “right” — even aiming for a “perfect” — decision. I started to test her theory that things would be better if I made decisions more quickly, and was amazed at the positive impact it had on the work that we and our team did.

We quickly assessed the quality of my decisions and made great progress when they were sound, or adjusted and kept going if we discovered shortcomings.

How do you approach decisions?

Interestingly, challenges with decision-making have been showing up with several of my coaching clients lately, particularly when they face making decisions that are complex and have what feel like big consequences.

Some decisions can be made fairly easily by doing research and coming to a conclusion. Even then, many people start rethinking and questioning and projecting concerns. That can lead to loops of anxious indecision.

Some decisions are not based on facts and logic — such as choosing a paint color for the exterior of a home, or what dress to buy for a significant family event — and bring up anxiety related to other emotions and concerns.

These questions can help when making decisions

Whatever the decision you are making, consider the frame of mind from which are you operating.

Do you feel pressured?

If you pause and realize you feel pressured to make a decision, ask yourself if the pressure you feel is something you have put on yourself, or if it’s from someone else.

You can choose to operate from a new frame of mind when you become aware that you have put the pressure on yourself.

If the pressure is external, you may realize it is not related to a true deadline, and then reset your mindset. If there is a true deadline, you can try to extend the deadline. If that is not possible, asking yourself the following questions can help.

Are your concerns or doubts true?

When you notice you are ruminating on what to do, get curious.

Ask yourself if your doubts are actually true. You may realize they are not, and then feel free to make a decision.

You may realize that you have exaggerated concerns, or maybe that you have invented concerns. Insights like those can be liberating.

What emotion is running the show?

Fear often puts us in a state of struggle when making a decision, or can lead to second-guessing decisions we have made.

One approach that can help is to ask yourself what you would advise someone else facing a similar decision. That separates your fears from the clear thinking you need.

Need more facts? Go after the missing information. If you realize you have reasoned it all out, trust yourself to make a decision.

In the case of decisions like choosing a color for your house, or what to do for a weekend away, ask yourself: “What do I like?” and, “What do I prefer?” and, “What do I desire?”

Your answers will start to narrow the options.

Then get quiet and listen to your intuition. 

It may take some practice, but trusting the intuitive information that resides in your gut is a great way to move forward when you feel stuck in indecision.

And if my old friend perfectionism is at the root of indecision for you, take it from me and practice pushing it aside. I have learned that there is rarely a perfect decision or answer, and that striving for perfection robs you of so much that is wonderful.

Your heart is asking for space—will you listen?

I am away at a writing retreat this week. It is a gift I have given myself for 3 years — time to be in a beautiful rural place, with a great teacher, and in the company of amazing writers.

This gift of time lets me dive deep into my heart. I allow what is there to pour forth, and have often been surprised at what emerges. 

Sometimes the words flow with ease. Many times I need patience, and I often rework what first lands on the page.

This experience is always revelatory and enriching, no matter how it unfolds.

Do you create space to open your heart?

Do you consider the space you create in your life for peace?

For focus?

For rest?

For things that bring you joy?

I was perpetually busy for years on end. The idea of a week away at a retreat would have sounded impossible to me back then. I now cherish time for expression and wonder — whether at a retreat or in small bits during my week.

Most of us live distracted, hectic lives. 

We miss so much when we live this way. And we pay a steep price for it. I frequently see women buckle under the pressure when the pace of their lives becomes unsustainable.

And that can change.

First, dial down the pressure 

Here are ways to ease the grind:

Get clear about what matters most

When you are clear about what is most important to you, you can set criteria for what you want (and sometimes need) to do.

That clarity enables you to let go of things that do not match your criteria. 

Focus on what you say “yes” and “no” to

It’s time to say “yes” only to things that match your clear standards.

Even what seem like small yeses can add up to a lot of time, focus and energy. Be mindful of each time you choose to add something to your schedule or accept a request. 

Sure, there are many things you could do, and might be happy to do. It is also flattering to be invited to join an effort, or lead an initiative, or be on a board, or participate on a project.

With clarity, discernment and commitment to your wellbeing, you will build comfort in communicating your decisions.

Create more space for things that are currently on your plate that need to stay there

Create systems to simplify and streamline processes. (While I have often not found it easy to create new systems, I have asked for help, and love having systems in place that streamline my efforts.)

Get help when you need it! That help can take many forms. What expertise, or extra pair of hands, will make your life easier and reduce stress or fatigue? 

Consider the opportunities to minimize demands by extending deadlines or reducing your effort.

Next choose ways to light yourself up 

The space you are able to create offers new possibilities.

That space is precious. Even small bits of “white space” on your calendar can be quite meaningful.

Let’s say you are able to open a 15-minute window a few times each week. That’s a great start! Think about what you might do in those openings that will bring you joy.

Maybe you will sit outside and look at the sky.

Maybe you will call someone dear to you and share a laugh.

Maybe you will write a poem, or dream up a plan for an adventure, or research a topic that fascinates you.

Maybe you will choose not to fill the space, and just allow your desires in the moment guide you.

When you create delight in any way your spirit will expand.

And that can change your life more ways than you might imagine.

What are you ready to release?

If you, like so many people, find it hard to let go — of anger, or resentment, or struggles with other people or conditions that you find frustrating or unjust — you are likely aware of how much preoccupations like those interfere with your ability to be your best.

All of that focus on trying to change and control things takes a huge toll.

It’s exhausting.

Why so many of us struggle with control 

We hold tight when we dearly want to control things or force changes. 

We feel like letting go will be giving up.

Many of us feel like it will mean we have failed.

The truth is that we can only control our own thoughts and actions. That is where our power lies, and accepting that is where we find freedom and peace.

Consider these things you might let go of

I have learned over time that there is freedom in letting go of many things.

Some that I am glad to have let go of are:

• trying to control what other people do

• relationships with people whose actions are not aligned with my values, or whose energy depletes me

• ideas about who I need to be to meet others’ expectations

• caring about how other people may judge me

• my definition of personal success

• stories I have told myself that are outdated or untrue

• the speed that things ”should“ take — for me to complete or to be done by others

I have come to understand that I can only control my own thoughts, expectations, and actions.

I invite you to think about ways you hold tight and might release the grip.

Make a list, choose a place to start, and try to ease up— even a little — today. As you keep this awareness and focus, and gradually allow yourself to experience the power of letting go, savor the space and freedom you create.

Assessing Your Life Roles: Find Clarity and Purpose

We all play many roles in life.

We play roles at work.

No matter what position you hold in an organization, or as an entrepreneur or consultant, you may play roles that are fully aligned and that you enjoy, and you may have roles that have been imposed on you, or that you volunteered for, that are not so satisfying.

We play roles at home and in our personal relationships.

We often play roles by default — such as being the one who takes care of shopping and meal preparation, or handling finances, or arranging children’s schedules, or being responsible for a host of matters related to aging parents.

While we may find some roles suit us well, we may feel saddled by others.

Taking the time to assess the roles you play and how they are working for you can help you to recognize the ways you spend time that is fulfilling and meaningful, and ways that you may be feeling resentful or overburdened.

When you gain insight about the roles you play, you will be positioned to make decisions that best support your wellbeing.

Here are questions that can help you find clarity.

4 steps to sharpen your awareness

Most people drift day to day and operate in roles that may range from making them feel gratified and proud, to mildly annoyed, or sadly, to playing roles that are deeply problematic.

That drifting can go in for months and years, and when things are less than rewarding it takes a toll. 

I invite you to take a few minutes and ask yourself some meaningful clarifying questions, so that you can live with awareness and make changes if you spot issues you have allowed to continue without considering alternatives.

Take the time to answer the questions with care, They can shed meaningful light on many of the ways you spend your time and use your precious energy.

1. Take an inventory of the many roles you play.

What roles am I playing in my professional life?

What roles am I playing in my personal life, in my family, and with friends?

What roles am I playing in my civic life, or as a volunteer, or in my community?

2. Assess your satisfaction with the roles you play.

Which of my roles do I like — and maybe treasure?

Which of my roles would I drop, or hand off, if I could?

Did I choose the roles I like?

Did I choose the roles I do not want?

Did I default to playing some of the roles, or accept some roles, and now regret some of my decisions?

3. Consider the size of the roles you play.

How much time and energy do the key roles I play demand of me?

Have I accepted, or volunteered for, bigger roles or more demanding roles than I am comfortably able to handle?

Are there roles I yearn to expand?

4. Expand your assessment. 

Am I focused on the outcomes I want in all of the roles I play?

How do I show up in various roles? Am I excited? Bold? Reluctant? Do I inspire others?

Do I invite others in or play solo?

Do I do the bare minimum, devote an ideal amount of effort, or do I go beyond what is required, expected, or necessary?

Do some of my roles rob me of other opportunities for satisfaction and joy?

Optimize your path forward

Now that you have clarity about the roles you currently play, you can keep the roles that are positive, expand on some that are more limited than you wish, and takes steps to change — minimize, reduce, or eliminate — the roles that are not aligned for you.

When you commit to the roles that matter, and show up fully — boldly, with an open heart, a generous spirit — you will have your biggest, most meaningful and rewarding impact.

As you move forward with awareness and clarity, and regularly commit to shaping the roles you play with intention, you will build a future that optimizes satisfaction and reduces stress.

And you can ask for help to move into your best future with without the struggle of finding your way alone. Having an outside perspective and guidance can speed your progress.

I always welcome you to reach out. Email me any time.

How to Silence Your Inner Critic and Move Forward

Are you tough on yourself? 

I certainly was harsh and judgmental with myself for much of my life.

With attention in the last years, I have sharpened my awareness and shifted my thinking when I notice that I’ve slipped into criticizing or berating myself. 

The danger of harsh self-talk

Any time you tell yourself something like

• “Work harder and make it perfect!”

• “I feel like such a fraud.”

• “Who are you to try something so audacious?”

• “I am such an idiot for making that stupid mistake!”

your self-critic is running the show. And it’s doing more damage than you may think.

Frequent negative thoughts like those wear you down.

They erode confidence and can slowly grow into a mountain of doubt.

Left unchecked, they can poison your spirit.

It’s time to change your stories 

The truth is that each time you send a negative message to yourself it’s a story, and you can change those stories!

Here’s how.

1. Start by bolstering self-love, in the form of being kind and compassionate to yourself.

After all, you would never say most of the harsh things you say to yourself to someone else! 

It’s time to give yourself some grace. 

2. Aim to catch yourself in the act when you hear yourself spewing a damaging message. Noticing is the first step to making change.

3. Next, change the story — in tone and substance. 

Sure, you may have made a mistake. Who hasn’t? It’s when you can tell yourself it was an inadvertent error, or you can laugh it off, or you apologize and commit to doing more research next time — and then move on — that you will release yourself from stewing about it. You will be free to keep moving forward.

Here’s another example.

If you are a perfectionist, it’s time to embrace this truth: perfect is the enemy of good!

You can tell yourself this new story: It’s really good! Maybe it could be more perfect, and I might do more at some point, but right now I am getting this out to the world!

All negative self-talk can be turned around when you have the awareness that those thoughts are showing up, and you focus on making a shift.

Stick with it!

While negative thinking about myself happens less frequently now, I have learned that this kind of self-talk does not go away completely. 

And, I am happy to say that staying alert to it does get easier.

The more you spot negative thinking in the moment and choose to tell yourself a new story, the more natural it becomes to stay in a positive frame of mind.

You will feel better. You will show up fully. You will have a bigger impact with everything you do!

And that is a remarkable gift you can give yourself.

The ABCs of Self Leadership

As a woman who leads, inspires, and aims to make an impact, if you are feeling stress and overwhelm in a world filled with uncertainty, it’s hard to show up powerfully.

At times like these it is imperative to stay strong, steady, and clearheaded — so that you can do your best work and support others.

I think of it as cultivating self-leadership. With this ability you can lead in every aspect of life and work.

When you cultivate self-leadership you will be able to stay steady with more ease.

What self-leadership looks like

As a visual thinker, I have imagined a few scenarios that you may find helpful to envision what strong self-leadership can mean for you.

Imagine feeling like you are able to stay upright on the deck of a boat in rocky seas.

Imagine feeling like you are a gyroscope, and that when you tip in the wind, or wobble under pressure, or when the sand beneath your feet starts shifting, you always come back up.

Imagine being a tall palm that is flexible and bends in the wind during a storm, and not only stays rooted, but can stand erect again when the winds subside.

Focusing on self-leadership enables you to be strong and resilient.

The A, B, and C of self-leadership

There are many ways people think about and approach “self-leadership.” In the context of attending to your own wellbeing in order to lead and support others effectively, these are the components I offer you to consider.

Action — based on Awareness and Acknowledgement

A key first step is to take stock of what you are feeling. Having tools to help you identify your emotions enables you to then acknowledge what is at play, rather than aiming to simply muscle through when you are feeling less than steady.

With that clarity you can take action to process your emotions, so those heavy emotions move through you rather than hijack you.

And taking action of all kinds is an excellent antidote to feeling disillusioned or stuck, no matter the reason.

Bolster — to show up Boldly

Effective leadership — of yourself and others — requires true belief in yourself. 

Having clarity about the emotions that were hampering you, then processing those emotions to help you step into action, you will see matters more clearly. You can bring a clear head to determining the best ways to move forward, and your confidence will naturally expand. 

And there’s a bonus when you bolster your confidence: You feel that you have agency in situations that would otherwise feel daunting.

Create!

You can create practices that support you to manage stress when it arises. You can create a mindset of curiosity, openness and consideration of new possibilities no matter what shows up. You can create expressively to open your heart.

This is your time to cultivate the creative power inside of you that is waiting to be unleashed. That’s what will make you an unstoppable leader!

A 5-Day Journey to Authentic Living

If you have had the exciting experience of seeing something unfold in real time that you have believed, spoken or written about, and maybe have taught, then you will relate to my experience last week.

You may be familiar with my story, and how I had been a graphic designer who was completely blocked when it came to creating for myself. Creating (as I used to believe) meant things like painting or making art with pastels. I was terrified to even try. I stayed focused on solving clients’ problems and telling their stories.

The trajectory of my journey changed when I started working with a great coach. I woke up to the fact that I was ready for a significant change and sold my design firm. And I courageously started exploring creative expression.

I then met a great teacher who was an expert on the vast power of creativity, and studied with him for two years. I came to understand the mysteries of creativity and appreciate the breadth of what it is. I also vastly expanded the ways that I created.

My life was transformed. 

Lives change when creative power is ignited

I developed my Creative Core Coaching practice to help other accomplished women who yearned to live a more fulfilling, rich authentic life.

• They are typically so busy that they are disconnected from their hearts.

• They are often frazzled, some to the point of burnout.

• Many are living a smaller version of who they know they can be.

• Many struggle to find clarity about what is next — or could be next.

• Many want to rebuild confidence. 

They are sacrificing themselves in ways that I had lived for far too long.

When they are supported to tap their creative power and ignite it, they thrive!

And, change can be accellerated

In 2020, I created the first of what are three retreat experiences I offer each year.

At each, small groups of women come together to take a deep dive into self-discovery, have creative experiences that open their hearts, and set a course for meaningful change. 

When you step away from your routine and are willing to immerse yourself in new experiences that bring incredible insights to life, you find true inspiration for new ways of living. 

Creation Vacation 2025 was magical 

Last week, the Creation Vacation retreat kicked off a big new year for a fantastic group of women.

We spent 5 days in a glorious house on the southern coast of Maine. We did powerful work together. And we had tremendous fun!

The mix of deep thoughtful exploration and lots of fun with expressive creative play that built energy and opened hearts, made for a huge experience for everyone.

We ate beautifully. We shared deeply. A remarkable practitioner helped us all expand energetically and somatically anchor in supportive energy. The setting of extraordinary natural beauty was the perfect environment for all of it to unfold.

I am savoring the joy of leading the retreat and witnessing so much exciting evolution.

Take a look at the photos below, and consider if your creative spirit feels the desire to expand!

If you feel the urge to be supported to ignite the creative power that is within you now, and set a course for a bigger, more fulfilling life, let’s connect and talk.

Schedule a call today.

Ready to raise the bar this year?

Most people are thinking about the year they want to create, as the holidays are now behind us and we all get back to our usual routines.

What about you? Are you ready for — or craving — significant change of some kind?

If you want to create something new, you need to take a new approach.

After all, if you operate as you have in the past, sticking with old patterns of thinking and your usual ways of approaching life, you will continue to live as you have been and you’ll struggle to make the changes you yearn for.

It’s time to uplevel!

Now is the time to slow down and create space to gain new levels of clarity about what your heart desires and what really matters most. 

Are you ready to create a big clear vision for yourself in 2025?

Having s bold vision in mind, you will have the opportunity to clearly focus and set new, higher standards:

• for how you will show up in the world

• for the way you will spend your time

• for the important relationships you will nurture

as you move forward.

Now is the time to raise the bar and commit to becoming the woman you want to be, and doing what is called for to reach your destination.

How to get clear, stay committed, stay on track

1. Choose a word to guide your year

A great tool to help you bring a sound focus to your intentions for 2025 is choosing a Word of the Year. My process will guide you to find clarity, so you can anchor to that clarity throughout the year.

Check out this blog post from a few years back for the process that will guide you to choosing your word for 2025. I use the process each year as the calendar turns, and having my word has always had a significant impact for me.

It is easier to stay committed when I look at my word, that I keep posted on my pinboard. I often look at it multiple times a day. Whenever I feel unclear or know I am veering off-track, I return to my word and can find a way to move forward.

2. Choose to be supported

The other way I stay on track is having support — something powerful that you can seek out, too.

I have a great coach and am part of a wonderful community of people who are doing brave work alongside me. Being supported, by my coach and colleagues, to commit to becoming my best self and pursuing my dreams is something I do year after year.

I would not be the woman I am today had I not made this ongoing investment in myself. 

This can be the year that you get support to rise higher.

3. Take action today

Good intentions are not enough! When you take action you are in motion. Momentum can build and milestones can be met.

Your action can take many forms. It can start with a conversation, a declaration, making a new commitment to yourself.

The key is to start.

If an action you choose is to explore how we might work together, so that you are supported to create a year of significant satisfaction and movement toward your goals, schedule a call with me today. 

It will be a pleasure to hear about your dreams and talk about helping you make them your reality.

Your best year yet: 3 powerful steps to launch 2025!

As we step into a huge new year, you have incredible opportunities! Here are 3 great ways to launch a great 2025.

1. Mind your mindset 

Cultivating your mindset is the best way to move forward for your best year. See how these approaches work for you.

• Create a morning practice

Your morning practice can be 5 minutes or longer. You might consider meditation, journaling, movement (stretches, yoga, dance), pulling an oracle card, saying affirmations, or any combination that appeals to you. Consistently startling your day with a few minutes of focus like this sets you up for a better day every day.

• Cultivate self-love 

The power of strong self-love cannot be overstated. Check out this blog post to understand self-love and get some great tips for ways to practice self-love.

With a strong foundation of self-love you will have powerful belief in yourself!

• Try a new way to move through tough times

No matter how much we set ourselves up for our best day every day, we all have times when things go sideways or challenges arise. In those moments, it’s important to feel the frustration, anger, sadness or disappointment.

First, choose an expressive way to process the difficult emotions. How? Write out your feelings; make an angry or ugly drawing; find a private place to shout out your emotions or slam a pillow into a wall; go outside and stomp in nature. When you feel you have worked the emotions out of your system, move on to the next step.

Once you feel calmer, consider a new perspective. If you look at the circumstances through a new lens, can you see a new way forward, a new possibility, maybe even a new opportunity?

2. Sharpen your focus

This can be the year you get crystal clear about what you want to make your reality next year.

Ask yourself:

• What big ideas and desires do I want to make real?

• What do I want to start doing?

• What limits me that I am ready to ditch?

When you are clear, you can get a good start and will be better able to stay on track.

3. Decide on your best path forward

Many of us start the new year with great intentions and soon find ourselves living the same way we have before, not making headway to realize the changes we yearn for. 

Now, take a moment and imagine that it’s December 2025. You are looking back with satisfaction and fulfillment realizing that you found true clarity and focus and created a great year! You built new levels of confidence, lived at a sustainable pace, showed up boldly and made your vision a reality.

That outcome is possible for you when you have support and accountability. 

I am living proof of the power of making myself a priority and working with great coaches. And for the last 12 years year I have been honored to support my clients to create remarkable, abundant lives of purpose, that bring them great happiness and satisfaction.

If this is the year that you are determined to create your best life, with deep support to unleash your creative power, let’s talk soon.

Create, love and dream a vibrant 2025!

I was moved by the big response I received to what I wrote last week, about how important it is to slow down, and the big benefits of celebrating yourself. 

I am not surprised that these ideas touched so many women in a deep way, given how much we typically aim to do.

We have lofty ideals for the impact we want to have with our work. 

We set high standards for many, if not most, of the things we do.

We want to build and sustain important relationships.

We want to care for and love our families and friends.

And we want to care for ourselves — though, for many, self-care often falls to the bottom of the list.

My wishes for you now

Whether you are on the road, or hosting family, or you are consciously focused on making space for quiet during this week of holiday celebrations, I invite you to add pleasure and meaning to this special time in these ways:

• Look for wonder and savor the beauty you notice

• Feel and spread love

• Play and laugh

• Create in as many ways as you can think of

• Let gratitude fill your heart

This is a great time to dream, too!

When you look ahead to the closing days of 2024 and the year that is about to begin, dream your biggest dreams.

Hold a vision of yourself as the women you want to be in 2025.

The vision may be of you being strong, vibrant, loving, bold, confident, unstoppable, healthy, generous, kind, brave, brilliant.

Choose all the attributes you want!

Then think about what you want to do in 2025, and hold all of that in your vision.

Whether you want to embark on an adventure, learn something new, make a career or personal change, begin to knit or paint or cook, or challenge yourself in an exciting way, see yourself doing what you desire.

And think about what you want to have — add those desires to your vision.

The things you want to have may be intangible, like more time for a pursuit that delights you, or peace of mind. The things you want to include on this list can be grand (a home in a place you love) or tiny (warm new boots). Add what you want to have to your vision.

With dreams in mind, write them all down.

You can also sketch what you want to be, and do, and have (stick figures are a fine way to make things visual!).

Look at your list and/or your drawing often.

What you visualize now, that you keep visualizing, will support you to make those things your reality in the weeks, months and year ahead.

What emerges when you honor time and space

I just returned from a weekend in my home town of Philadelphia. My family and I held a ceremony at my father’s grave to dedicate the stone marker that was just laid, one year after we lost him.

This event, that marks a year in our lives, has sparked deep reflection.

What I learned this year that may help you

Processing emotions — of any kind — requires time and space

After my father died, the administrative tasks that needed attention (especially in the weeks and months right after we lost him) crowded out space to feel all of the emotions that needed to be felt.

And as much as I have done to create space to move emotion through this year, including writing and painting to go deep into my heart, I am often still surprised at what shows up out of the blue.

When a lovely memory or a stab of sadness appears suddenly, I now get quiet to be with the feelings. Sometimes a conversation with someone close helps. Sometimes creating helps. Sometimes a walk outside is just the thing.

No matter how busy a day is, I make time and space when I need it.

I have learned to honor myself with time to grieve what needs to be grieved, savor memories, feel sadness and joy, and cherish love — whether it has to do with the loss of my dad or anything else that has come up in the moment.

Pushing myself is a recipe for stress

A big lesson I have fully taken to heart this year is that I suffer when I push myself. Push energy is crushing to my soul.

I now start each morning setting clear intentions for how I want to feel, no matter what is going on in the world or what is on my to-do list.

As someone who has spent most of my life cramming as much as possible into each day, I have upped my practice of slowing down and doing everything with thought and care.

(Note that I use the word “practice”! This intention entails daily awareness and commitment.)

Nature heals

As I’ve been pushing less, I have made a significant discovery. Every day that I walk in a beautiful place I feel notably better. 

This insight was most remarkable while I was in France, leading the L’Aventure Française retreat last month.

While in Paris, walking for several miles each day as we explored the city, I loved how it felt to be in motion and how much wonder there was to enjoy when moving on foot.

And in the countryside, amidst incredible natural beauty, my heart opened wider each time I was outside, breathing clean air and seeing the wonders of nature in new light at each turn.

I have found a spot to walk near my home that is off the main streets and has many majestic trees. I have taken a 5 minute ride to a park that has beautiful paths. I have made dates with friends to walk in new places. Each time, I feel amazing.

My intention is to walk outside for at least 20 minutes each day. As I do not have a dog to take for walks, I have not yet taken a walk every day. I am gradually making more space in my schedule for that to happen.

Creating space allows wonder to emerge

The thing I have most appreciated this year is that when I created time and space to feel and process more, big awareness unfolded in ways I never expected.

Being someone who has typically made plans and then worked diligently to implement the plans, I discovered that slowing down and being open enabled me to discover new desires, and then refine and adjust my plans in incredibly rewarding ways.

By not pushing myself, I connected to my heart. Creative thinking had space to emerge freely and I am more excited than ever for what I am developing now, to introduce to the world in the new year.

What is waiting to emerge for you?

If you are ready to connect to your heart and creative power, to open to remarkable magic and wonder that are possible for you, I invite you to explore my upcoming Creation Vacation retreat.

This time away (January 20 to 25, 2025) will be in an exquisite property in southern Maine. You will be surrounded by the majesty of vast sea and sky, eat wonderful food, create and play, have coaching support, experience energy work for a deep somatic connection to everything that emerges for you, and much more.

This is an intimate retreat and there are only 2 spots left. Reach out soon to explore this life-changing opportunity.

Moments of gratitude and transformation

Bon jour!

Just a quick note from France, where L’Aventure Française retreat has been magical — and is soon coming to an end.

After spending 5 splendid days in Paris, we took the train to the Dordogne region of France (east of Bordeaux), where the countryside is magnificent. We have spent sunny days walking on country roads to explore village markets, we’ve reflected on the insights and inspiration of our time in Paris, we have created and played in new ways each day, we visited a wonderful artist in his studio, and we ate exquisite food that was prepared and served with love by the hosts of our intimate retreat center. 

I have been moved and inspired by the women who chose to embark on this experience. Great moments of insight and clarity have filled our time together. Each is returning home a different person, eager to bring fresh, clear intention, energy and creative power into her life.

And I, too, have been changed by this experience. I will be reflecting on the magic and will mine it for all of the rich lessons and gifts I received.

I am filled with gratitude beyond description.

And I know that whatever awaits us when we return, we are each brimming with loving, positive, creative energy. The creative power we bring to everything we do will have a positive impact in our lives, will touch those with whom we are in contact, and will emanate to influence the world around us.

How time away can ignite your creative power

Three times a year I travel to go on a retreat with my coach. I share the experience with a small community of wonderful people who, like I am, are on a path to creating and offering bold resources that will make this a better world.

I am writing from a beautiful rural part of Texas, surrounded by natural beauty.

I am inspired.

I am surrounded by love.

And I am making significant discoveries about myself.

This way that I invest in myself — taking time to be here and making a financial commitment to be in this work — has been significant for me. So much of what I have created to ignite creative power in women everywhere has been informed by what I have explored in my work with my coach.

I am deeply grateful to be on this journey of personal expansion that enriches me. In turn, it enables me to bring more depth to my work as a coach and speaker.

I invite you to find a place of beauty and peacefulness, where the majesty of nature can support you to connect to your heart.

I also invite you to consider the dreams you hold in your heart, and the support that can help you to move them into action.