Here’s how to make this a great year (really!)

Welcome 2022!

As we step into a shiny new year, most people I speak to are glad to bid farewell to 2021. Even for those who had a good year, the reality of living through a second year of COVID, not to mention political issues that swirled, affected us all.

And while a new year always feels full of possibility, we now find ourselves in the midst of a new round of pandemic challenge. With it comes uncertainty.

I believe that this first week of the year is an opportune time to take action that can make this the best year possible.

Take some quiet time now to reflect and set intentions. Doing that will help you to live your best life in the year ahead.

Three steps to optimize your 2022

1. Choose a word to guide your year.

Long-time readers will be familiar with my belief in the impact of choosing a word-of-the-year. Here’s the post where I describe the process, that includes a number of examples.

When you use this short, powerful process, you ask yourself important questions that help you focus on what really matters to you now, and the energy you want to bring into your life in 2022.

2. Think about what it will look like to live your word this year.

With your word selected, it’s time to set intentions that align with that word or theme.

If, for instance, Learning was your word, your intentions could include broadening your understanding of the world, stimulating your brain, and experiencing novelty.

If your word was Savor (as mine was a few years back), your intentions could be to slow down, to fully experience things each day, and cultivate appreciation.

Your word may call on you to be thoughtful, or courageous, or curious, or calm, or active — tune in to what fits for you.

When you set intentions, you focus on who you want to become. This awareness will also inspire you and support you to bring positive energy into everything you do.

3. Make it concrete.

Now it’s time to get specific about how you want to implement your intentions. Think about what will both satisfy you and will be doable.

If, for instance, you chose Self-Love to guide your year, one way you might live into that theme could be to up your self-care. This would be the time to decide on ways to actually do that.

You might choose to include walking 3 times per week, meditating for 5 minutes each morning, and visiting a museum each month. Whatever you choose, schedule the activities into your calendar. Start with the first 3 months of the year, and continue or modify the plan from there. (For instance, in the spring you might decide to increase your meditation time, or add an activity like tending a garden.)

If your theme of Self-Love also inspired you to bring more creativity into your life, you might implement that intention by first exploring classes that are available (art, or music, or photography, or cooking, etc.), then scheduling time each week to take the class and practice between classes.

The outcomes may amaze you

When we set intentions and commit to them, we are able to bring changes we truly desire into our lives.

After choosing your word, why not print it out and post it where you will see it each day? This will keep it top of mind as you move though the year.

You might invite a friend to embark on this process with you, too, so that you can support one another to stay committed throughout the year, even as the specific ways you live into your themes evolve.

The more you stay connected to your word and intentions, and plans to follow through on the specifics, the more the outcomes will excite you.

Imagine looking back next December and smiling at the year you lived and the ways you made your intentions a reality.

No matter what surprises come along (because surprises are inevitable), this approach will support you to make 2022 a meaningful — and maybe even magical — year.

May your new year be filled with joy, vibrant health and abundant creative energy.

How (and what) to celebrate now

Do you feel hectic energy swirling around you this holiday season? While it’s easy to get caught up in all of the activity and emotion, this is an ideal time to carve out some quiet space for yourself.

I invite you to do some resting and reflecting. And while you are at it, this is a great time to celebrate and dream.

Start with gratitude

Look back at the past year with a focus on gratitude. In spite of many challenges, there is always so much for which we can each feel grateful. Include both big and small things on your list, and jot down why you feel grateful for each one.

By the time you finish you are likely to feel filled with awe. (Studies have shown that focusing on gratitude brings enormous physical and emotional benefits. You may want to make this the start of an ongoing gratitude practice.)

Next, celebrate yourself!

Think back over the year with a focus on all the ways you have expanded and grown. Recall things you’ve accomplished and ways you have been resilient, Acknowledge yourself for all of it.

Savor the feelings of pride, joy, and satisfaction. Why not give yourself at least one “Yay me!” each and every day? (I highly recommend it!)

Visualize a wonderful future

With gratitude in your heart and feeling full of self-love after celebrating yourself, take some time to quietly look ahead at the new year. It is full of possibility.

Envision yourself a year from now, living a life that you love.

What does that look like for you? What does it feel like to imagine yourself living a life that excites you? Envision yourself living with purpose, doing work you love alongside great people, feeling joy, caring for your wellbeing, being in wonderful relationships, and living fully expressed.

How will spend your days? Who will you live and work and play with? How will you look? How will you feel?

Hold this vision, and think about it already being your reality.

The life you yearn for can be created

Day by day, you can create clarity about what you want. You can move past what limits you. You can create a future that lights you up.

I know because I have been on this path myself and my life has been transformed.

And I have been honored to guide many incredible women to step into their power and thrive as never before.

Rather than struggling and trying to figure it out on their own, they have begun creating the full, satisfying personal and professional lives they’d been yearning for. They are clear about what they want and who they need to become to create their ideal futures, and step-by-step their visions are becoming their reality.

This is a sacred process. Transformation does not happen instantly. It's in getting started, living with new awareness, and having support to sustain the effort in the course of daily ups and downs, that we can begin to wake up in our lives. We can get and stay clear about the future we want. Every small change we bring into our lives has significance and momentum grows. We revel in appreciation of the lives we are actively creating.

If you feel ready to make big strides in the year ahead, let’s talk.

Email me and share where you are now and your vision for the future, and we’ll talk about how you can get there.

As 2021 winds down, now is the perfect time to explore what is possible for you in 2022.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Who doesn't want more good luck?

Do you believe in luck?

Do you have a lucky number (I do), or a lucky piece of clothing you put on when you yearn for a particular outcome? (I am thinking of the sweater my husband wore to every basketball game his college team played, after they beat a major opponent. He was sure it brought them luck.)

Do you envy people who seem to be lucky — they get a big break, or seem to effortlessly land a great job, or appear to lead a charmed life — and wonder if you can do something to increase your luck?

We all love feeling lucky

Luck makes things seem magical and easy. And it’s human nature to want good things to happen with ease.

In my case, a remarkable number of wonderful things in my life have happened on the 13th of a month — it's the date I met my husband, the date I graduated from high school and my son graduated from college, and the date my grandson was born. These are just three of a long list of special events that fell on the 13th of a month.

That feels magical to me. It makes me look forward to the 13th of each month, and to seeing the number 13 show up in my life in all sorts of great ways.

And, while I enjoy those mysterious and delightful coincidences, I believe feeling lucky is most often a byproduct of what we do and how we approach our lives and the world.

Many of the people we see as having great luck have set the stage for wonderful outcomes, that appear to simply be a matter of good fortune.

You can actually increase your luck. Here’s how.

Some of us are certainly born into more privilege than others, and I believe that such good fortune is not to be minimized. And, I also believe that all of us have opportunities to create more luck in our lives.

Consider these 10 ways to cultivate good luck:

1. Your mindset can set the stage for good fortune

A positive mindset looks like this:

• You believe in yourself and your agency in the world.

• You are in a frame of mind to say “yes” when great opportunities present themselves.

• You minimize worry. Being more positive helps you steer clear of having your attention consumed by negativity, and thus you are less likely to miss good opportunities.

• You keep an open frame of mind, which allows you to try new things and have new experiences.

• You have positive expectations. (What you look for is what you find!)

• You don’t compare yourself to others.

• (Check out more about how to be a positive thinker.)

2. Get clear

Focus on clarity — about what you want in your work and your personal life, your vision for the future, the impact you want to have, and more. Clarity allows you to stay sharply focused, and also helps you to be alert to opportunities.

3. Be observant

When you start with having an open frame of mind and are clear about what you want, add being alert and observant of everything around you. You are bound to spot more opportunities.

4. Take action

Being in action can look like this:

• Put yourself in great places, and tune in to what’s going on around you.

• Experiment with lots of approaches, try new things, and be open to what you discover. (If you tend to overanalyze, and can suppress the impulse to do so, it will be easier for you to experiment and reap the benefits.)

• Meet lots of people.

• Explore beyond your usual routines or areas of interest — you might even get curious about something you are sure you will not like. Try reading and learning about new things, as well as experiencing new things.

• Tell others what you want (after you have clarity), and people will be likely to share introductions and opportunities for you.

• Say “yes” to opportunities as they show up, even if it means stepping out of your comfort zone.

5. Ask!

• Ask for what you want.

• Ask for support and help.

• Don’t be shy! For example, propose a topic to speak about in front of a great audience, rather than waiting for someone to approach you.

6. Stay grateful

Pay attention to all the good things that happen — even very small things — and express gratitude for them. Not only will you realize your are luckier than you may have thought, gratitude is a powerful force that can lead to more goodness in your life.

• Start a daily gratitude practice.

• Express gratitude to others.

• Check out this post on gratitude to learn more about this subject, or read the chapter on gratitude in my book for many ways to cultivate gratitude.

7. Be generous

Generosity is powerful. (You might check out this article I wrote on the subject, and how it helps you live big.)

• Look for ways to treat others as you want to be treated.

• Help other people — when they ask, or when you realize you can provide a good introduction or suggest a helpful resource.

• Be a good friend.

• Volunteer in ways that have meaning for you.

8. Surprise yourself

Intentionally surprise yourself!

• Create in new ways!

• Change up your routines.

• Get lost on purpose and see what you discover.

• Talk to new people.

All of these will light you up and connect you to your intuition, prompting new ways of thinking and positive energy. That energy can be channeled into many of the suggestions noted above.

9. Smile and be sociable

• Put a genuine smile on your face and people will be attracted to you.

• Put yourself into social settings. This will provide you with more interactions.

• Focus on maintaining good relationships.

• Cultivate a relaxed, positive attitude.

10. Pick one new practice to start using today

Bringing even one new approach on this list into your life will enhance your luck. Start with what calls out to you, and add more ideas and approaches as you wish.

Let’s usher in a luckier 2022

As we look ahead to the new year, your new awareness and the actions you choose to take will set the stage for more good luck and greater satisfaction in 2022.

Imagine if we all bring that energy into our lives! The power of all of that collective action can be remarkable.

And, if you are interested in having support to make significant changes more quickly and with greater ease, my Live Big Live! program may be perfect for you now. The Winter program is about to get underway, and there is still time to join us. (Only a few spots are still available.)

I invite you to set up a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me soon, to see if we both think this is a good fit. There’s no cost or obligation for us to talk. Here's the link to schedule time with me.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

What’s weighing you down?

For many of us, looking ahead at the last few weeks of 2021, brings up mixed emotions.

Some of us are already looking back and taking stock of the year. This can feel uplifting, or disappointing, or both.

Some are focused on making the most of the weeks ahead, aiming for a “strong finish” to the calendar year (in business and/or personally). This excites some people and feels intense to others.

Some are excited about celebrating in the upcoming holiday season, while others feel trepidation at the thought of being with particular people, or about travel in uncertain times, or what it will take to prepare for all of that.

I don’t know anyone who feels completely upbeat or completely down. Taking note is a first step to help you enjoy more positive energy.

What’s up for you?

The place to begin is to identify what feels heavy. If you take a few minutes to jot down what those things are, the clarity you’ll gain can help you lighten the emotional load.

Your list may include pressures at work, family discord, overwhelm at too much to do, tough decisions that are looming, tension about things out in the world, health concerns, financial matters, or anything else. It may be a long list, or your list may have one dominant feature.

Consider these possibilities

Seeing it in black and white, can you gain perspective about things that may not be all that problematic?

When we feel stressed, everything seems to expand in importance, but some things on your list are likely to be tasks you can quickly dispatch — or even delegate or drop. And some things can likely be deferred, to attend to after this busy season.

It’s likely that some things that feel overwhelming can be approached in a sequence of small efforts. This will make them feel less daunting, and the big project will be easier and more enjoyable to move through to completion.

Speaking of completion, ask yourself if your timelines and deadlines are realistic, or really required.

And some things on your list may feel heavy because of old scripts and stories you carry, such as feeling like you have to be perfect. Or you have to complete things to meet others’ high expectations. Or you “have to” [fill in the blank] — to make others happy at your own expense.

Maybe you have a “role” in your family that you feel obligated to play, but that frustrates you or feels unjust.

Maybe you feel that asking for help is a sign of weakness, but you can see that there are things on the list that others can help with.

Taking a look at what you can reasonably adjust — with practical changes and in your mental approach — is a great first step to easing the strain you felt as you wrote down the items on your list.

Let’s lighten up

I confess that the pressure I’ve put on myself to be “perfect” and meet the expectations of others have been long-held beliefs that are still works-in-progress for me to release. And being able to ask for help is a practice I have been focused on for a while now, but I continue to need to remind myself that it’s a great thing to do.

The feeling that I must work hard all the time has been a life-long belief that I am currently focused on shifting, and I’m happy to be making progress with it.

We all have deeply entrenched habits and beliefs that do not serve us. And we can all bring awareness to the changes we want to make.

The key is awareness — and from there, consciously making choices that serve us.

Try some or all of these approaches:

What if you trusted that there is an abundance of time to take care of things that really must be done?

Simply approaching the day with that frame of mind makes a huge difference in the energy you feel, and thus the energy you bring to your tasks. This has been a game-changer for me and many of my clients.

What if you let go of the need to do it all and do it all perfectly?

We tell ourselves stories about things we “must do” that often do not need to be done (or not done by us). A quick example is that holiday cookies to not all need to be home-baked — unless that brings you joy and your well-being is not compromised by the time it will take. But the same goes for items of all types on our to-do lists. What can you choose not to do?

And when we aim for perfection for the things we keep on the list, we struggle and sabotage ourselves in so many ways. If, instead we aim for “good” we can feel happier doing the task, and can also allow for happy surprises that may show up when we welcome imperfection. And if we fall short or “fail”? We can laugh, learn from the experience, and move on.

What if you let go of the heaviness?

Our perceptions can make small things feel intense and larger tasks feel even more daunting — or, our perceptions can make things feel doable with ease.

When you change your approach from feeling burdened to feeling that things can move smoothly and be easy or pleasurable, you change your experience. (You may want to check out what I recently shared about how to be a positive thinker.)

And to more easily achieve and sustain a sense of lightness, remember to acknowledge yourself for taking a positive approach. Also acknowledge yourself for all that you accomplish along the way. (Check out the power of giving yourself a “Yay Me” here — something my clients practice and love doing. )

Making gratitude a daily focus also supports us to live positively, which in turn increases joy. (Check out three ways to experience more joy.)

We all have the agency to make changes

The biggest pitfall is feeling helpless about things that add stress to our lives.

By bringing awareness to what is troubling you and taking steps to lower the intensity of stressful emotions and pressures, we can all open to approaching whatever lies ahead with more joy and ease.

Why not try one or more of the ideas suggested above this week and see what works for you? I’d be happy to hear about what you experience. Leave a comment, or email me to let me know.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Most of us miss some of the gifts of gratitude

I hope you enjoyed a special day of thanks last week (even if you are not in the US, where we celebrated Thanksgiving Day).

Many of us gathered with friends and family and were especially thankful to be able to be physically together, rather than on zoom. We enjoyed lovely food and expressed thanks for pleasures we often take for granted in the midst of our busy days.

The opportunity we have now, with a new week underway, is to hold onto our focus on gratitude — and expand it.

Gratitude go-to’s

It is obvious to bring our attention to feeing grateful for all that is good — from people we love, to food, shelter and kindness.

Focusing that way on a regular basis — creating a gratitude practice that keeps you tapped in to all that is wonderful in your life — brings tremendous benefits.

(I wrote about the big benefits of gratitude a few years back, that you may want to check out. There is also a chapter on gratitude that begins on page 50 of my book.)

Many of us have a daily gratitude practice, and tune in to smaller moments to appreciate, too. This level of awareness — of a smile from a stranger, the offer of help to carry a heavy package, spotting something surprisingly beautiful in nature, or receiving a thoughtful inquiry about how things are going — makes the benefits of gratitude on our wellbeing even greater.

Now, let’s take the concept of gratitude even deeper.

Often overlooked opportunities for gratitude

What few of us consider is that we can be grateful for things that do not typically spring to mind when we think about counting our blessings.

In this season of “blessing the harvest,” we can expand our perspective to consider all that we are harvesting now.

As the year winds down and we take stock, we can certainly bless our accomplishments, good fortune and bounty. We can also bless our challenges, disappointments, failures and losses.

Why?

Because when we can bless it all, we see how everything we have experienced this year brought us to who we are today. We can appreciate the insights we gained and lessons we learned.

We realize that ultimately, all of it enriched us.

This is the perfect time to bless it all

When we feel grateful for all of what we have experienced, we boost the well-documented benefits of gratitude (that are listed in my book). We let go of regret and stop rehashing the past.

The positive energy we feel can be channelled toward new ways of creating.

This not only helps us now, it supports us to move into 2022 with more optimism and enthusiasm. We feel motivated to start creating, planting new seeds, and taking action boosted by that powerful energy.

A question to ask now

As we head into the last 31 days of 2021 and look beyond to the coming year, ask yourself this question:

How can I bring all of my creative energy to my life — to the work I do, to my relationships, and to living my purpose?

We can all make the last weeks of this year incredibly meaningful and look ahead in anticipation to all that we will embark on in the new year.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Do you take play seriously?

When was the last time you felt completely free? When was the last time you set out to play and have fun (not on a vacation, but in your usual day-to-day life)?

This may sound like a light-hearted, or even frivolous question, but I am serious when I ask.

Why?

Because being in a state of mind that feels free and excited, and bringing play into your life, matters.

And frankly, it is not always easy for me.

I included chapters on feeling free and play in my book, because I came to understand how important they both are to living your biggest life.

And still, I often struggle to embrace that state of being.

As I kid, I loved playing — hopscotch, hide and seek, dressing up dolls and making up grand scenarios, playing board games and more. My family was not especially sports-oriented, and I never joined a team at school — which is a great way that so many people play as kids and continue to bring fun into their adult lives.

As I got older, there was less time for play, and playing was not encouraged. I got more serious. I tended to buckle down rather than lighten up.

Don’t minimize the benefits of play

What I came to learn, after taking my deep dive into understanding the many dimensions of creativity, is that cultivating the feeling of being free makes your spirit soar. When you feel free like this, you feel inspired. Your imagination takes off and creative energy flows.

And with your spirit awakened, it’s easy to add play into your life.

By playing — which brings on laughter — you accelerate the benefits of feeling free. Creative thinking, new ideas, and fresh solutions show up. That energy leads to more flow.

And just as children learn through play, so do adults. When we play we are able to experiment and explore with more ease. We reduce stress, which is something all of us can benefit from! And our fears quiet down.

In short, we experience more joy.

How can play enrich your life now?

When I find myself heads-down and serious, I remind myself of all the ways I feel better when I lighten up and play — and I consciously choose to bring play into my day.

I know that opening my spirit and playing will impact my work and my relationships. It will infuse everything I do with more positive energy, and that energy will connect me to possibilities, optimism, people and opportunities.

So today, in spite of a long list of things to do, I am scheduling in play with friends. We will visit a sculpture park and revel in the beauty of nature and the creativity all around.

I may even suggest a quick game of tag, or hide and seek, to add more playful energy to the outing.

I invite you to make a playdate — with yourself or a friend. Let’s compare notes on what we experience!

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

What are you celebrating now?

Celebrating my birthday with my father was especially sweet!

Last week was special for me. I spent a wonderful week of vacation in New York. I celebrated my birthday, and the side trip I took to spend my birthday with my father made it extra-special!

I savored visits to museums. I saw art that lit me up. I walked and explored. I ate lovely meals and met up with a few wonderful friends. I saw a tour de force of theater I will not soon forget.

It was a week of celebration.

I celebrated the life I have created and am able to vibrantly live.

I celebrated the magnificence of art and creative expression I saw each day.

I celebrated the abundant beauty of Central Park ablaze in autumn color.

I celebrated being able to be safely in the world (thank you, New York, for requiring proof of vaccination to enter museums, theaters and restaurants).

I celebrated love — the love of my sweetheart, my family, dear friends, and kind strangers.

What are you celebrating now?

Every day offers us the opportunity to celebrate — to be filled with gratitude and love.

No matter what has happened in the past, everything you have experienced has brought you to today. Can you celebrate the person you are, the wisdom and insight you have gained, your bravery, your commitment, your contributions? Can you celebrate who you are becoming — informed by all of your past?

Can you celebrate the people in your life? Can you reflect back to them all you see that is celebration-worthy (even the smallest attributes and actions, that they may not be aware of or acknowledge)?

Can you celebrate the magic of creation — all that you create in the world, and all the inspiring creation around you? Consider what people create that delights you and supports your wellbeing. And consider the splendid creation of the natural world around you.

Let’s all celebrate together

When you slow down and bring your awareness to all that you can celebrate each and every day, you will be endlessly fueled with inspiration.

You will feel more alive, more excited, more fully authentic, and more connected to others.

You will be filled with love — for yourself and everyone around you.

This, in turns, inspires more love and spreads love far and wide.

I believe in the power of that love. We can all celebrate it with a whole heart!

Let’s live big together — today and every day.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Are you stuck in the judgement trap?

Have you ever stopped to think about how often you judge people and things? (I am sorry to confess that I have been a “judger” most of my life!)

I was recently invited to choose an object within view and spend a few minutes judging it — which was easy for me to do!

The next step was to look at the object again, and this time simply observe it.

Wow, what a difference I experienced the second time I looked.

I have been bringing that experience to mind often, and repeating the exercise. It is especially valuable to bring this to mind when interacting with people.

Each time I realize what a gift I give myself when I choose to observe instead of judge.

Try it out for yourself

Let’s say you look across the room and choose to focus on a lamp.

Sit and stare at it and judge it.

Perhaps you will think about a color or shape that you don't care for. Maybe you will judge the design as poor, or think about materials you don’t care for. Maybe you will judge the person who made it or the person who purchased it.

Now, look again. This time simply observe the lamp.

You are likely to notice things such as how the metal reflects ambient light in an interesting way. Or the surface texture of the base. Or how it adds balance to the composition of things sitting near it. Maybe upon closer observation, the material that the shade is made of will fascinate you, or you will be curious about the origin of the overall design.

Pause and think about it the two experiences. You will likely realize that when observing you felt calmer and it was more pleasant, and that it opened your thinking in new ways compared to what it felt like when you judged.

Can you imagine that a shift from judging people to observing them could be even more revelatory?

What happens when we judge other people

When judging others, we often make assumptions about a person’s motives, or ascribe qualities to them that are off base. What follows is often a loss to both you and the person you judged. It can sometimes be tremendously damaging to one or both parties.

We hurt ourselves when we judge, we can cause hurt to those we judge, and we limit what might be a great connection when we judge as a first impulse.

On the other hand, when we choose to observe people rather than judge, we open to deeper and more significant insights.

By choosing to observe and opting to be open and curious, we are inspired to ask good questions. Asking questions bourn from an observer's curiosity and interest in discovery can reveal truths we would never become aware of if we started with judgement.

This small shift can have a huge impact for you

Since my first experience of judging and then observing, I have been bringing the awareness to many encounters in my orbit. I find it to be most meaningful when I think about people — both those I know well, and new people I meet for the first time.

Each time I observe I notice subtleties and find things to appreciate that were not immediately obvious. Questions often come to mind that result in great information or insights. I reap rich gifts when I observe. And I am relieved not to have the kinds of judgmental thoughts I was so accustomed for so much of my past.

I have also shared this suggestion with a number of clients recently. They report finding this practice to be extremely helpful.

And adopting this way of looking at people and things around you is a practice.

Why not give it a try yourself, and see what happens when you practice enough to make it your new way of viewing and engaging with the world?

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Are you a “pushaholic”?

Last week I shared about how my body forced me to slow down. In the article I urged you to chose to slow down and create more space for yourself.

I received many emails from readers who related to my tale and thanked me for my suggestion. That got me thinking more about why we drive ourselves so hard, and about specific ways to make a shift.

We have a choice, each day, to decide how we will live that day.

But most of us operate on autopilot, failing to pause and consider how we want to live.

Does this sound familiar?

Most of us muscle through our long list of tasks — pushing ourselves to get a lot done (as we try to get everything done on to-do lists that seem to be endless).

It feels logical to simply buckle down and work hard. After all, how else will we get to (or through) all of it?

If you take the time to pause and think about it, you may realize that that approach is far from ideal.

What happens when we push ourselves

When we push ourselves relentlessly we wear ourselves down and feel exhausted. We often feel resentful, or hopeless.

That makes it hard to feel energized, even about doing things that we like and want to do.

The stress of overwork leads many of us to burnout — feeling overwhelmed, drained, and unable to ever get caught up, much less ahead. Both our psyches and our bodies often pay a price — like mine did recently. We can suffer from headaches, intestinal issues, poor sleep, and more.

Consider this alternative

Instead of pushing so hard, what if you were open to allowing yourself to slow down a bit and welcome flow.

By that, I mean connecting to the reason that the things on your list matter to you, and then focusing on what is right for you.

Ask yourself: “Why are each of these things on my to-do list.” And, “Why am I doing them?”

Next ask: “What is on my list that is not aligned with what matters to me?”

Certainly, we all have some things to do that do not excite us. (I have to renew my driver’s license soon, and have forms to complete, and household tasks to get taken care of.) But when I think about why those things matter to me, I am able to approach them with more ease and enthusiasm. For instance, I want to drive with a current license that will also alow me to get through security at an airport for upcoming travels.

Even things you don’t like doing, there are some things that simply must get done (like paying your taxes on time). These can often be reframed in a way that makes them feel less heavy.

By focusing on the items and actions that excite me (as well as any “must-do’s that will keep me out of trouble), I can more easily decide to delegate some tasks to others. And I can choose not to do things that ended up on my list because I quickly said yes without realizing the “yes” was for the wrong reason.

(Things that we come to realize ought to be “no’s” typically show up because we feel obligated, do not set clear boundaries, or we are trying to please others more than make decisions that align with our desires and priorities.)

Take some time to decide what you can delegate and what you can drop.

The energy of flow is easier to access when your choices are clear and have meaning for you.

The last pieces of the puzzle

When you have “cleaned up your list” and connected to more positive energy, you can also reorder what is left. Take care of things in a sequence that serves you best.

And be sure to remember how much you can trust yourself to move forward with clarity and focus, even if it takes a little while to get the hang of this new way of living.

I invite you to also trust that the universe will support you, as you stay aligned with actions that are meaningful to you and that you approach with positivity.

I predict that, with practice, you will experience what I call the “flow energy” of operating this way. I have been making this shift and loving the results.

Why not give this approach a go today? Then, hit reply to let me know how it works for you.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Don’t learn this lesson the hard way (like I did)

When I wrote to you last week I mentioned that I’d been away at a retreat and returned feeling very tired. That was just half the story.

The full story is that I was also ill. My GI system was not working well, and I was exhausted.

So in spite of having a big back-log of emails and tasks that I’d planned to get through when I returned, my body had other ideas. It sent me a big signal: slow down.

Slowing down has not always been easy for me!

The importance of slowing down is hardly a new insight for me. In fact, the first chapter of my book is titled Slow Down and Be Still. When I wrote the book, I realized that chapter had to come first, because I see it as the foundation for living big.

We live in a culture where doing, rushing, and pushing ourselves to achieve is celebrated. I bought into that for years, and have struggled to consistently slow down for at least a decade. I have made progress, but I often override my better judgement and keep my foot on the gas.

This past week my body shouted insistently at me. (It was anything but subtle!) I decided to listen and soften, rather than fight it. And I’m glad I did.

Slow down before your body forces the issue

I have had to remind myself of the benefits of slowing down more times than I care to admit. (As they say, we teach what we most need to learn.)

I know that there are great benefits to slowing down, and yet once again the universe stepped in to make sure I would take care of myself — and walk my talk!

I surrendered.

I rescheduled dates and tasks on my calendar that could wait. I slept long enough that I woke up feeling rested, without the sound of a harsh alarm to rouse me. I sat and meditated every day. I read. I took short walks to breathe fresh air and appreciate the beauty of the natural world. I quietly sipped warm cups of tea and ate nourishing meals without multitasking.

I did some meaningful work, but I did not let myself overdo it.

And here’s what happened.

I had time to think and reflect. I noticed subtleties that I usually miss. And I came up with new ideas that excite me.

I feel so much better now. I started healing my body, and also healing my spirit.

What about you?

If this message resonates for you, try at least one way of slowing down today. Savor the sensations you notice when you do that.

And plan to give yourself this gift again tomorrow.

I know I am carefully creating more space for myself each day, and invite you to do the same.

Leave a comment, or email me to let me know what happens for you when you bring more stillness into your life.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Can you relate to these short stories?

People ask me about my coaching all the time, and while I talk about working with accomplished women who yearn for change and want to make a big bold move in their lives, it's always the real stories that help people understand what the work is about, and who it helps.

And who doesn’t like stories?

While I could bend your ear for days, check out these (very short) stories.

Three stories about three terrific women

Story #1 | Pricing fears and asking for what your work is worth

Following my Live Big Live! retreat at the start of the month, I began working with a super-talented woman who has done major projects in her field for years. And still, what showed up at the retreat was a money story that many of us are burdened with — and that I related to from years past.

She struggles with how to ask for a fee that she knows is valid, without worry about what the client can afford. On top of that, she has a tendency to skinny her fees down with the hope that she’ll have a better chance to get the project. She allows fear to influence her pricing. That does’t feel good and it doesn’t serve her.

After just one private coaching session, where we worked on a proposal that is due soon, we not only focused on clearly right-pricing the work, but on presenting the scope in a brief but compelling way that felt great to her. And she included a fee that she knows in her heart is fair for what the project will entail and what she deserves to earn.

I love to support clients to make mindset shifts and also bring my business expertise into the work.

Is her mindset challenge “fixed” now? There will be more work to do to address the money stories and scarcity mindset that has challenged her for years, but we have made a big start.

Story #2 | Building a distinctive personal brand

Another client I am working with now is a rock-star in her field. Yet she competes with many other professionals who do the same type of work she does. In a networking program with many other similar experts she has struggled to differentiate herself and garner lots of referrals.

An additional challenge for her is showing up in big virtual meetings so that she looks great, feels confident and is consistemtly recognized.

Once again, my business and marketing background is coming into the work we are doing. We have moved through a process of getting super-clear about all that her work encompasses, how she does it, and identifying her best clients and the aspects of her work she most desires. We then honed a message that is short, distinctive, memorable, and easy for her to deliver. She now speaks it with delight, allowing her true personality and energy to shine.

We are also working on choosing the best place in her home environment for her to attend on-line meetings, so that she shows up well on-screen, even in a very small block. We’re selecting the clothes that work best on-screen and talking about hair, makeup, headsets and lighting so that she will connect to others with maximum impact.

It is a delight to watch this process unfold, and a delight to see the pleasure she is taking, step-by-step.

Story #3 | Refocusing and relaunching after a career pause

A newer client had taken time away from an impressive high-profile media career to focus on family matters (including divorce and a range of health issues), compounded by the impact of COVID. She is now ready to step back into her power and focus on her career again.

She realized that what she had done in the past is no longer a fit with her current life — as a parent, living in a new part of the country, and now seeing things with new perspective. The challenge has been finding a new, clear focus and creating a vision that is fueled by her clarified insights about her purpose. She also needs to choose a path that feels doable.

She is already well on her way. She is excited to be taking a deep dive into learning and she clearly envisions doing this new work. It will have a tremendous impact on a population she deeply wants to enlighten, and will support her to live the life she wants for herself and her child.

What story are you ready to make real?

All of us are on a path as we live each day. What do you envision as you move along your path?

We can all create the next chapter in our lives — whether it entails a big leap into something new or refining and optimizing the path you are on now.

What are you ready to step into, or up to, now?

I invite you to schedule Live Big Breakthrough Call with me to share what it is that you feel ready for.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

How to supercharge your thinking

Most people misunderstand creativity, and many are sure they are not creative. (I address this all the time, in podcasts interviews and when I speak to audiences of professional women.)

Rather than try to dispel those misconceptions today, I want to share a simple and actionable insight that anyone can use with ease, and that is sure to ramp up creativity and improve your life.

Put all of your brain power to use!

What, you say? I am not using all of my brain?

We live in a culture that leans hard into left-brain thinking.

We want data, we trust facts, and we look for logic all the time. We believe that by gathering all of that we can devise the best strategies and make our best decisions.

But when we hold that focus, we leave the gifts of our right-brain out of the picture. We fail to benefit from the rich insights and creative resources our right brains are there to provide.

How the right brain works, and what happens when we use it.

The right hemisphere of the brain is where imagination lives. Big ideas, new concepts and fresh thinking are spawned there. All of these can emerge when we understand how to get the best from our right brains.

And it's not hard to do!

Here are a few ways to set the conditions for your right brain to get going:

• Go for a walk around the block.

• Take a shower, or a bath.

• Look at the sky.

• Do some people-watching.

• Doodle.

• Sing or dance or play an instrument.

• Or even do nothing for 10 minutes.

Any of these will give your left brain a rest, allowing the right hemisphere to pick up bits of logic, facts and data and come up with fresh, new, surprising possibilities.

Who hasn’t marveled at how they got a great idea in the shower? Now you know why that happened. You can easily create the conditions for great ideas to show up more often!

Abundant creative ideas are great — and there are even more benefits!

Tapping the right brain and opening creative channels also connects you to your intuition — an immense resource most of us miss as we rush through our days. Listening to your intuition is like having a second brain — there is so much innate wisdom available to you when this connection is clear.

When you make bigger connections to your intuition you will notice that your heart is more open. In that way you’ll connect to your true desires, deeply-held values, and reap more insight. That insight leads to personal growth.

I witnessed all of this happening with the remarkable women who attended my Live Big Live! retreat last week.

On each of the three days we spent together I included time for their right brains to play and added creative experiences along with teaching, exercises and sharing. I witnessed accelerated insights, open hearts and glorious inspiration as each woman took steps into her future — futures that are truly aligned with who they are, what they want, and what has deep meaning for each of them. It was a joy to see it all unfold.

I invite you to set the stage for more right-brain activation so that you, too, can be more inspired, create with joy, and Live Big.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

(And if you want to explore how Live Big Live! may accelerate your path to living big, schedule a call with me.)

3 questions to ask yourself everyday

Are you getting out to enjoy the wonderful fall weather? Making time to get into nature enriches the soul and the body.

I must admit that it’s been hard for me to make time to get outside and reap the array of pleasures and benefits lately.

With the Live Big Live! retreat coming up this week, family matters that need my attention, and oh so many things I am trying to fit into my day, I have been putting time for myself way down on my list of to-do’s.

Can you relate?

But here’s the thing I know. When I move my self-care up to make it a top to-do, everything else gets better.

Have you tested this out?

Last week I made a point of getting out to take a walk, even when I was super-busy. And, as I have experienced in the past, lots of great things happened as a result.

I felt refreshed — both in body and spirit.

I had time to think without distraction. Ideas started to pop up like crazy.

I waved hello to neighbors I rarely see.

I captured a few photos of beauty that I noticed as I walked past lovely gardens.

I returned to my desk with new energy and perspective, and moved more quickly through a number of tasks that had felt burdensome earlier in the day.

Why do we forget what we have already learned?

As you can imagine, what I described was not a new revelation. I learned long ago that making time for myself, in any number of ways, always pays off.

And I teach this! These lessons are threaded throughout my book!

While I could beat myself up for not staying on track and tending to time for my own well-being, I know that as a human (not a machine!) I am not in a fixed state of being. And modifying my life-long inclination to work hard is an ongoing process.

How to stay aware and get back on track

I have found that asking myself three key questions on a regular basis helps. I created a small reminder card for myself, that I have placed where I see it often.

You might want to grab this PDF and print it out for yourself. Or, write your own key questions. What will prompt you to make time for small ways to boost your well-being and make each day lighter and happier?

By keeping a reminder handy, you will be less likely to fall back into habits that do not support you to live your best life each day.

And, having asked myself these questions again just now, I am stepping away from my desk to feel the sun, breathe fresh air, and enjoy a brisk walk around the block!

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Who doesn’t love a quick-fix?

Last week I wrote about the power of positive thinking, and shared a number of strategies to use when negative thoughts show up. In case you missed it, you can read it here.

I have an additional idea to share with you today — it’s an especially easy, fast technique you can use any time you need to quickly get into a better frame of mind. 

Because sometimes we just need a go-to technique to use on the fly.

Three quick steps to lift your spirits

All of these are great when used alone, but when you string them together they are especially effective.

1. Pause and get quiet

Whenever you start to feel overwhelmed, or start down the path of negative thinking, a great first step is to briefly pause and take a few breaths.

If you can find a quiet spot to do this, that’s swell. But it works even in the midst of a busy or noisy place.

Simply close your eyes and take a few deep slow breaths. Tune in to the sensation of a full breath filling your body on your inhale. Make your exhale long and slow. 

Repeat a few times. That’s it!

2. Give yourself a little pep talk

Having let go of tension, this is a perfect moment to remind yourself of how amazing you are. Simply create a short statement of affirmation.

Say something like, “I am a remarkable, capable, loving person.” Of course, you can include whatever attributes you most want to affirm for yourself!

In this moment of thought you add a juicy dollop of self-love to your day! (If you want to learn about self-love and how to tame your self-critic, download my guide here.) 

This step takes your spirit a step higher.

3. Give yourself at least three “Yay Me’s”

I love having my clients share “Yay Me’s” — which are simply statements of acknowledgement for good things they have done. These opportunities for self-appreciation can be about small moments of courage or commitment, or bold steps or accomplishments, or anything in between.

While you may want to think back to acknowledge yourself for something significant you did in your past, be sure to recall at least one or two things you did in the last 24 hours.

This gives you evidence that you do great things all the time, and adds a boost to set you up for positivity for the rest of your day.

Take note of meaningful shifts

This short process can be completed in as little as one to two minutes!

You can extend it if you wish, but even when done quickly, the stress-filled or negative thoughts you felt at the start will be changed.

You are bound to experience both a physiologic change and an energetic change.

Do you feel calmer? Refreshed? Are you thinking more positive thoughts?  

Look for an opportunity to use this process for several days in a row (whether or not you are experiencing stress) and see how the cumulative effect adds up.

You can amplify this process

When you are in a positive frame of mind more of the time, you can choose to think more creatively — about everything in your life! Why not look for ways to bring your positive energy into the next conversation, or the next solution to a client’s challenges, or whatever you are focused on today?

Leave a comment or email me and let me know how this quick 3-step process works for you — as well as any of the other suggestions I shared last week. 

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Why we say “Yes” to things that are “No’s”

Last week I suggested five steps you can take to love your to-do list, and end the feeling of overwhelm that to-do lists bring on for so many of us. The response to that post was tremendous.

I want to go a bit deeper on this topic now, because there are common reasons that smart, ambitious women tend to overload their to-do lists. If you followed the process I offered last week, you may have removed items and wondered how they got on your list to begin with.

Consider why you say “Yes”

We have all done it — said, “Yes” to things we really do not want to do. Those things not only make for an overly-long and overwhelming to-do list, they usually cause us to feel resentment.

There are several reasons that we tend to say “Yes” and regret it later.

While all three of these reasons may not be relevant to you, consider them in this order:

1. We want to be nice.

Many of us were raised to be nice. Feeling obligated to be nice all the time leads lots of women (and men) to become people-pleasers.

It’s hard for people-pleasers to say, “No.” Their impulse is to avoid conflict. Over time, people-pleasers are burdened by all they agree to do. 

We often confuse being nice with being kind. One can kindly decline a request or disagree with someone. It takes awareness and some practice, but people-pleasers can learn to kindly take their power back!

2. We are unfocused.

A lack of clarity is a big reason that people say “Yes” so often that they become overwhelmed.

When we do not examine what we really want to do — with a focus on what truly matters to us the most — it is likely that we will agree to so many things that we find ourselves spread too thin and feeling splattered.

Spend some time considering where you want to aim your focus and why. With that in mind, you will say “Yes” with more discernment.

3. We fail to set boundaries that align with what’s important to us.

For some people it can feel harsh to set boundaries, but good boundaries are key to living a sustainable and happy life.

We all have a finite amount to time, energy and attention to expend each day. Thus it is crucial to consider the boundaries that will support you to make the most of every day.

Good boundaries need to be in place with both the people you are close to and those you are not so close with.

Consider the boundaries you might set with with colleagues and with clients.

And consider setting personal boundaries if you notice intrusions that hamper your attention, time and/or energy. You may want to limit your impulses to dive down rabbit holes like time spent on social media, researching topics far more extensively than is required, or long stretches of screen time.

Boundaries can be set more easily when you have clarity, and they can always be set with kindness!

Honor what you choose to make your focus

I invite you to thoughtfully explore the three topics above. What things are most important to you, and what changes will support you to keep your focus on them?

Keeping a focus on the things you most desire will give you a boost of positive energy, as well as more time in your life to realize them. Why not begin to implement these ideas, and see how they can support you to live each day with less stress and more satisfaction?

And if you want to think about getting help to address deeply ingrained practices and habits that stand in your way, so you can more easily bring significant change into your life, let’s talk. I invite you to schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me.

I'll be glad to give you new insights and perspectives about your challenges and hear about the changes you want to make. We can explore if my coaching is a fit for you — and if not, that’s fine. We’ll sort out your next best step.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

How to love your to-do list

When you look at your to-do list do you feel overwhelmed? Most of us do!

We are busy with lots of things to do and we have many interests. We strive to achieve. We are passionate and eager to have an impact.

And day after day, all of those to-do's and desires add up and can feel heavy.

Try a new to-do approach

Here is a new way you can orient yourself to all the things on your to-do list. With your latest to-do list in hand, grab a fresh sheet of paper and follow these steps:

1. Focus on what brings you joy.

Scan the old list and put a bright-colored, big star next to the items that make you happy to think about doing. Be sure to also mark those things that will lead to outcomes that make you smile to envision — whether they are short-term or longer-term outcomes.

Start a new list, write “JOY!” at the top, and write those starred things on the list.

2. Create the next category — things you want to do.

Look through what is left on your old list and add a new colored bullet next to things you want to do. The “wants” need not be quite as exciting as your starred “joy” items, but they are a close second and belong on your new list.

Add them in the next tier of your new list, under the heading “WANT!”.

3. Take note of any “shoulds” on your old list.

If you see things that are there because you feel you “should” do them — whether that “should” was imposed by someone else or comes from your own thoughts — mark those “shoulds” with a big “X”.

Determine to drop those things!

That said, if you realize you do want to do any of them for some reason, reframe them as something you “want” to do and add them to the new list in the second tier. (Then, when you see them in the want category, you will approach them with a positive feeling.)

4. Identify things that need to be done.

We all have things on our lists that have to be done — but often we put things into this category when they really may not need to be there. Assess and mark the “need to be done” items with care, and add those to the next tier on your new list — labeled “NEEDS TO BE DONE”.

The trick here is to get these to-do’s done as quickly as possible. That will relieve the stress of seeing them linger on your list — or the stress of bearing the consequences if deadlines are missed.

The ideal way to get the “NEEDS TO BE DONE” to-do’s done quickly is to delegate them to others who can do them for you!

Make a sub-list of the items you can delegate. Be sure to put a check next to those items as you hand them off, and cross them off when you get confirmation they have been taken care of.

5. Look at what may be left on your old list

Are there any orphaned items, that did not get transfer to your new top tier JOY items, the second-tier WANT items, or the NEEDS TO BE DONE tier?

Think a bit about anything that has not been assigned. Might those to-do’s be delegated?

If you determine that they are not that meaningful or important to you, can you drop them?

Letting go of things is easier after careful consideration, and doing that can be liberating!

Assess your energy now

By working from your new list, making the things that fill you with delight — or will feel exciting to achieve — your top focus, you are bound to feel positive energy.

Being guided by the new list will help you keep from spreading yourself too thin; you’ll avoid the struggle of trying to do too many things.

Rather than feeling depleted and frustrated by not getting enough traction on things you care about the most, keeping your focus on what lights you up will feel wonderful!

That's how you can hit the sweet spot for where to put your precious time and attention.

And that feeling of rich energy will not only support you as you move through your tasks, it will help everything in your life to feel lighter and better.

On top of that, everyone around you will sense your positive energy. Taking this new approach to your to-do’s, you will not only help yourself, you will help others in subtle and meaningful ways.

More ideas are on the way

Next week I will go deeper into this subject, to give you more insights and suggestions to help you live each day in the flow of positive energy.

Learning how to leverage your energy, in many small effective ways, will fuel your life and help you live big!

If you want to talk about the ways you can live a life that is fueled by more positive energy, to get past stress, fears or doubts, I invite you to schedule aLive Big Breakthrough Call with me.

I'll be glad to give you new insights and perspectives about what hinders your energy, hear about the dreams you have for your future, and talk about what’s possible for you. We can explore if my coaching is a fit for you — and if not, there’s no problem. We’ll sort out your next best step.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Even perfectionists can learn to love mistakes

Kintsugi restoration of a broken bowl

Many of us struggle with perfectionism to one degree or another.

I was burdened with a compulsive drive for perfection for much of my life. I strove to make perfect decisions (a topic I wrote about in a recent blog post).

I tried to make everything I wrote or created as perfect as could be.

I struggled to look as perfect as possible, and watched the way I spoke, for fear of being judged as not good enough.

And on it went.

Perfectionism was so much a part of my life that my children teased me about how “picky” I was. It was said with humor, but the fact that young teenagers commented on it is evidence of how much perfectionism showed up in my life.

When I look back now I recall how exhausting it was to constantly struggle for perfection.

The gift of choosing a new way to live

A huge gift for me — that is available to you, too — is one I have enjoyed on my journey of change and growth in the last decade. In short, it’s the feeling of liberation I experienced as I loosened my grip on perfectionism.

You can begin to shift away from perfectionism by practicing Self-Love. Self-Love is a fascinating a topic that I write and speak about often, and about which I created a short guide, that you can download for free.

The guide will also help you understand the role of perfectionism as one of a number of ways your Self-Critic attempts to sabotage you. You will get an array of suggestions to start freeing yourself from the restraints of your Self-Critic.

Having brought an awareness to how harmful perfectionism was for me, and practicing ways to release it, I am now able to celebrate the “good” without experiencing the anxiety of aiming for “perfect.”

I allow myself to explore and experiment with ease. And I appreciate the gifts of creating and exploring no matter what the outcomes are. I’ve embraced the realization that even “failures” offer wonderful opportunities.

Letting go of the tension associated with perfectionism has been a gift that has kept on giving!

Magic can show up when you make mistakes!

When you chose to feel free and try new things without fear of less-than-stellar outcomes, magic can happen.

Things that seemed like “mistakes” to me before have often lead to marvelous end results.

And looking back I see that I often did not have the experience of enough “mistakes.” My fear of trying new things because I was preoccupied about them falling short of my idealized standards, kept “mistakes” from happening that might have become breakthroughs.

When you start without aiming for perfection, you, too, will find your mind and your heart opening up to lots of ideas and possibilities. These ideas will feel ripe for testing and exploration, and you can choose those that you want to play with.

It’s in the process of trying new things without fear that we learn and discover.

We learn what works and what doesn’t (the “mistakes”), and in many situations we discover surprises of all sorts. You can then follow the surprises and find solutions or results that may go far beyond what would have been possible had you not felt free enough to test and play with them.

You might even fall in love with imperfection

When you allow yourself to embrace it all without feeling that everything must always be perfect, you see the world differently. You see possibilities and appreciate beauty where you once would have seen mistakes or brokenness.

You may be familiar with the marvelous Japanese art of Kintsugi, which is an ancient practice of restoring things that are broken and celebrating the fractures by highlighting them with gold.

Check out this lovely BBC video to see how Kintsugi is made, and the magnificent outcomes of this art.

Then consider the possibilities in your own life, to create magnificently — even from fragments of past imperfection.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

What I am learning about resilience this time around

There are times when events show up in your life and you are tested. 

When my father suffered a health crisis two weeks ago, we mobilized and dashed to Philadelphia. After five days in the hospital he was discharged, we arranged for additional care for him at home, we returned to Boston, and everything seemed stable.

Until it wasn’t.

My father was back in the ER on Friday, admitted again, and once more we’ve need to be patient as the medical team works to fine-tune the medication plan that we hope will allow my him to return home without fear of new events. 

Naturally, this is stressful for my dad, for my sisters and me, for my husband and children and all who deeply love him.

Life inevitably calls on us to be resilient

Today I turned to the chapter in my book, Live Big: A Manifesto for a Creative Life, titled Carry On. It’s all about resilience, and I realized it was time for me to revisit the content I wrote based on my own past experiences.

The chapter addresses a range of times we need to be resilient. I focused on the exercises and practices that were matched to what I need now.

I started by completing a Discovery Dozen™ exercise to help me slow down and cultivate awareness. I modified the suggestions in the book to best help me now. I used this fill-in-the-blank sentence, completing it with 12 different answers, to start my day:

To slow down and be more present I can....

Then I focused on the best actions I could take to ensure my father’s well-being and for my self-care. I made calls to the nurses and then set aside other tasks to meditate. I know that meditating helps me to stay centered and think clearly.

Next, I was guided to bolster my belief in myself, by recalling the ways I have been able to do things well in the past when I’ve been under stress. I reminded myself that I may not do things perfectly, but when I think clearly and do my best, I have been able to do a lot — and I can do a lot today, too.

Rather than reacting, I consciously chose to create. I considered the resources available to me for help, and resources I can activate, and got things in motion.

I asked myself good questions, too. I knew these Discovery Dozen sentences would help me: 
“What would I do if I were not afraid?”
“How is this experience calling on me to grow, expand, or adapt?” 
“What am I learning now?”

My big take-aways 

When I turn to proven tools to support myself to stay calm, I am able to think clearly, and that makes everything better — especially as I continue to navigate this health challenge. 

I can keep fear at bay when I reach out for support.

I appreciate how much I have learned from dealing with other challenges in the past, that are informing me now. 

And I appreciate myself for my ability to be patient and trust, as well as my willingness to learn and grow.

How are you resilient in your life?

All of us are called on to be resilient, in small and bigger ways, as we move through our lives. This last year has certainly been filled with challenges that run the gamut.

How are you able to respond? What works best for you? 

I would love to hear from you, and would be glad for you to share your strategies. Email me or leave a comment and let me know.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating. 

And thank you for keeping my sweet father in your prayers.

What I learned in a family medical emergency

As much as we make plans and think we have everything carefully mapped out, life has a way of throwing us curveballs.

I was excited to anticipate a trip to visit my father for the holiday weekend. We had not seen him since Thanksgiving, and now that the entire family is fully vaccinated I envisioned a nice drive to Philadelphia on Friday, where we’d spend a few days enjoying relaxed conversations over delicious meals, take short excursions to lovely places, and I would have ample time to reconnect with my father and sisters.

What happened instead is that on Wednesday my father was rushed to an emergency room with frightening symptoms. We left for Philadelphia early Thursday morning and spent the next 5 days with him in the hospital.

A robust 95-year-old, my dad is amazing. I am glad to say that he has pulled through a complex set of events, and should be able to return home soon.

While it was a far cry from the visit we planned, I am deeply grateful for the wonderful care my father received, and that we were able to be with him and my sisters.

I am enormously grateful that with COVID vaccination rates high, restrictions at the hospital were partially lifted, so we could be with him and confer directly with his doctors and nurses. And there was far less worry about exposure than there would have been even a few weeks back.

And I am grateful for all the ways my family pulled together to look after him.

Sometimes we get unexpected reminders of important life lessons

When everything goes according to plan, it’s easy to take a lot for granted. I appreciate that some important insights I’ve integrated in my life in the past few years came into even clearer focus this week.

These are at the top of my list:

• No matter how carefully I plan (and I plan a lot!), remaining flexible is a must. I was able to do that this week.

• No matter what happens, staying present and responding with a clear head is crucial. Happily, I was able to do that, too.

• Help is always available, and reaching out for help is always a good idea. I reached out for and received so much meaningful help that supported me this week, both emotionally and practically.

• It’s possible to stay positive in the face of uncertainty. That outlook helped me to be resilient.

• Frightening emotions don’t have to derail me. I can feel them, work through them, stay present and persevere.

• Self-care helps enormously when life gets challenging. Good nutrition, staying in a comfortable hotel, and getting ample sleep made each day easier.

• Love is powerful, and the best medicine.

What do you need to do to be ready for the unexpected?

If life throws you a curveball out of the blue, how do you think you will be able to respond?

I know that my journey of personal development over the last decade, that led me to becoming a coach, bolstered my internal resources immeasurably. I was able to cope and move through the stresses of this week in ways that would have been much harder for me years back.

If you want guidance about how to build a solid foundation for your best life, email me and we can make a date to talk about what’s in the way for you now, and what’s possible, too. Or you can schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me directly — click here to find a spot on my calendar.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Are you ready to slow down and love your life more?

If you are like me, you may have a tendency to do a lot.

I get excited about new ideas — I generate them all the time. I love learning new things. I like to help people. I take on a lot and often have a calendar without much white space on it.

And, more and more these days, I find myself yearning for space — space for quiet, rest, yoga, time outdoors in the glorious spring weather, and more time in my studio.

I realize this is just what I urge my clients to do — make space for themselves to be quiet, to think, to rest, and for self-care of every kind.

Richard Bach’s well-known quote is “We teach best what we most need to learn.” My story certainly illustrates that!

Creating space to slow down and be is life-long work for me. (That’s why the first chapter of my book is Slow Down and Be Still. It’s the foundation for living big!)

And, messages about doing too much, and a desire to be clear and intentional, keep coming in for me lately. The universe is sending me wisdom in many ways.

Here’s one way I am making more space for myself now

I recently remembered that a few years ago, thinking about this same challenge, I created a To-Don’t list. And, I made a companion To-Do list. Each had three key questions to guide me.

I am pulling them out again!

Why not use these tools and see what happens for you?

Here are the questions to consider for what goes on your To-Don’t list:

• What can I defer?
• What can I delegate?
• What can I dump?

Here’s the key to what to put include on your To-Do list:

• What gives me energy?
• What brings me joy?
• What keeps me out of trouble? (After all, some things must be done.)

And, I have decided to add two new criteria for my To-Do list entries:

• Is it fun?
• Will it move forward something that is really important to me?

I am determined to defer, delegate and drop as much as possible, and not add anything to my to-do list that does not match my new criteria.

(And if you, like me, have found to-do lists hard to manage, I just started to use an app that I really like. The free version of Remember the Milk is great.)

This quote is helping a lot

This brilliant quote was recently shared with me:

“I am working toward a time when everything brings me joy.”

It was attributed to Maya Angelou, but I have been unable to confirm that. In any case, the words of this quote sound simple enough, but I think they are profound.

What if we could each keep this statement in our minds, and let it guide us? Can you imagine how much could change by simply returning to that intention each day?

That guidance in now helping me choose when to say “Yes” and when to say “No” — with love. This simple awareness has been a game-changer.

This new acronym is inspiring me

I had a great conversation last week with my dear coach and friend, Peleg Top. He has been on a sabbatical, and he is focusing on the joy of simply being.

He told me that he is replacing FOMO (the fear of missing out), with JOMO — the joy of missing out!

I totally love that idea, and have been reminding myself of it daily.

What works best for you?

As I always say, the small changes we make have a big impact, and with consistency the impact grows over time. I am starting small with the powerful ideas I shared here, and am committed to building in open space on my calendar and keeping it that way!

And, just as the quote and the new acronym prove, we can learn so much from one another.

Please share what you have done to make space in your life. I would be delighted to hear your ideas. Leave a comment to let me know.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.