If you avoid discomfort you’re not alone

Human beings like to be comfortable. And who can blame us? Feeling comfortable — physically and emotionally — is certainly nicer than discomfort.

But staying in our comfort zone, avoiding the discomfort of stepping up to try new things and experience personal growth, is different.

Because when we stay static, play safe, or live a small version of what is possible for us, just to remain comfortable, we cheat ourselves.

As I wrote last week, even accomplished women who yearn for more — to show up and be fully authentic, to reach for the next level in their work, to live the life they yearn for on their terms — can get mired in doubt and stay stuck.

Why? As much as they may want to change, they resist stepping into that change because they fear it will be uncomfortable.

Is the thought of some discomfort keeping you stuck?

Maybe thoughts like these are holding you back:

• I may not be up to the task — what if I fail?

• I'm really not good enough to do what I’m dreaming of.

• I’m not enough.

• I don’t feel worthy; I do not deserve what I desire.

• I’m afraid of what other people will say — if I can’t make the change, or even if I succeed.

• Some people will disapprove of what I want to do.

• I’ll be horribly embarrassed if I fall short.

• I feel ashamed that it’s taken me so long to get started. It’s easier not to even try.

Yes, even considering these thoughts can get uncomfortable.

And if any of them (or several) ring true for you, you are not alone!

Most people — even super-accomplished people — have had many of these concerns. And many have moved forward in spite of them.

What you may be ready to consider

When you read through the list above, did you feel a stirring to stretch a bit? Might you be willing to get a little uncomfortable and try to take some new steps in your life?

Maybe one or more of these possibilities feel “ripe” for you now:

• I want to go after something new.

• I’m willing to examine my life.

• I want to figure out what’s next for me that will light me up.

• I feel ready to expand and grow.

• I want to be more self-relient, be more in command of my life.

• I want to make a bold move in my career or business or personal life.

• I am ready to bring a new relationship into my life.

• There’s something I am not willing to tolerate any more.

You can safely begin to test the waters

If you responded to something on the list above — or something different and meaningful came up for you — here’s how to start to take small steps toward the expansion and change you seek.

Consider these 4 suggestions:

1. Ask someone you admire if they made it to where they are today without concern about some discomfort.

If they are willing to honestly share with you, you are likely to hear a great story about what it was like for them before, how they faced the discomfort of stepping into change, and how they reached the place they are today.

With that inspiration, think about ways you can get started making some change in your life.

2. Check out my book, Live Big: A Manifesto for a Creative Life.

Lots of people have been telling me how helpful Live Big is for them now. They have shared that doing some of the exercises and practices in various chapters of the book has been really great. The book offers many safe ways to be guided to gently step into making meaningful change. (And, the book is on sale through Thursday, so this is a great time to get a copy for yourself, stock up for gifts, and send copies to friends.)

3. Choose a step to take now, to activate a change.

If, for instance, you want to learn something new, or want to consider a career shift to a new industry, you might search for videos to start exploring what’s involved. You can invite someone with that background to have a virtual coffee date. You can look for a short course to take.

The idea is to start! Even small steps get you in motion, and those small steps will not feel too uncomfortable. From there you can gain momentum.

4. Reach out for help.

Do you have a friend who is interested in making change in her life? You can ask if she wants to be an accountability partner for you, and you for her.

Or better yet, you can ask for the help of a pro.

My journey of expansion and transformation started when I got help. I was not looking for it, but the universe introduced me to a coach, and for the first time in my life, I said “Yes” to getting help.

Was it uncomfortable to be asked big questions I’d never asked myself, and look clearly at my life? You bet it was. But I also felt safe, knowing I was being guided by a brilliant and loving coach every step of the way.

And my life today is the reward.

I have never stopped being coached — in fact I have several coaches now, to support me in different parts of my life and work. That’s how I continue to grow and expand in my life.

Sure, I run up against some discomfort each time I begin to move out of my current comfort zone. But having support makes a world of difference.

If you want to explore what support can look like, let’s talk

I invite you to make a date with me for a Live Big Breakthrough Call — there’s no cost or obligation. I ask only one thing: that you are serious about exploring what making significant change can be like for you.

Share your challenges and your dreams. I’ll provide new insights and perspectives about what’s in your way now, as well as what is possible. And if the fit feels good, we can talk about how I may be able to help you make your dreams a reality.

Click here to find a spot on my calendar.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

The power of your mindset may surprise you

I have lots of conversations with women who are contemplating their lives and their futures. I listen to them describe the desires they have and the challenges that stand in their way. As I listen, I tune in to their orientation to themselves and the world.

I listen for signs of a mindset that is limited, or what Carol Dweck calls a “fixed mindset,” as well as indicators that they have what Dweck calls a “growth mindset” in her renowned book, Mindset.

I call that an expansive mindset.

Why do I pay attention to that?

Because the deep work I do with my clients leads to success for those with many characteristics of an expansive mindset.

Someone with a deeply fixed mindset is not able to benefit in the same way. A fixed mindset will not only frustrate her, it will frustrate me.

Your mindset can support you to becoming a powerful creator

Your outlook on the world impacts how you live each day — and how you can begin to live an even more satisfying life tomorrow than today.

And while none of us embodies a expansive mindset in every dimension of our lives, those of us who begin with (or endeavor to fully develop) an expansive mindset have a smoother path to creating a life that truly satisfies them — what I call living big.

What, specifically, does an expansive mindset look like?

• You have an expansive mindset when you appreciate your gifts and talents. And you believe that you can develop and expand those talents and skills.

• You see potential and believe that you can figure things out, rather than being pessimistic or allowing yourself to feel defeated.

• You learn to add a powerful little word to sentences like these: “I don’t know how to do that,” or “I can’t accomplish my goal.” By changing statements like those to: “I don’t know how to do that yet,” and “I haven’t yet accomplished my goal,” you are open and ready and motivated to continue and succeed.

• You believe that you can always learn and grow.

• You believe that you can figure things out — yourself, or with help.

• You try new things without fear. You experiment, and when early attempts fall short, you refine and try new approaches. You focus on solutions, believing in your ability as a creator to find solutions.

• You take consistent action. This means you focus on the journey, not just the destination.

• You learn from every new experience — the great ones, and the tough ones — knowing all of them inform you and help you continue to learn and grow.

• You don’t compare yourself to others (which is always a bad idea). Rather, you are inspired by others, and you can support, encourage and celebrate them — even if they are “ahead” of you in some ways.

• You are true to yourself and your values.

• You keep fear at bay. This doesn't mean you don’t ever feel fear, but you learn to keep it from stopping or limiting you.

• You are open and curious, you listen, and you learn.

• You believe that life is good, even when you are moving through rough patches. When the going is tougher (which is inevitable from time to time), you shift to hope and optimism. You trust yourself.

• You surround yourself with others who are like-minded, who also approach the world with an expansive mindset.

Do you see yourself in this list?

Few of us can “check off” all the boxes on the list above! Even those who have focused on personal development and are doing well need to return to practices that keep them on course with an expansive mindset.

And those who have not yet embarked on personal development work may have more than a few unchecked boxes. That’s ok.

When you start with enough of a foundation in an expansive mindset, and a deep desire to grow and create your ideal life, you can step up to developing more of it.

And you can stay on course, too, especially when you have good tools and when you have support.

Are you looking to leverage your expansive mindset for more growth?

If you want to step up in your life to become the biggest and best version of yourself, and start creating the future you deeply desire, I invite you to share your challenges and your dreams with me. You can also learn how I may be able to help you make those dreams a reality.

Let’s hop on a call. Click here to grab a spot on my calendar. I promise you will gain new insights and perspective on what’s possible for you.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Want a marvelous (and easy) way to fire up your life?

We are about to move from winter into spring! We can feel new possibilities in the air, and feel hopeful as the tide seems to be turning significantly to bring an end to the pandemic.

I am filled with optimism, even as I know we are far from a full recovery of health and safety, economic security for all, and fully addressing racial and social injustice.

I believe the best way you can propel your life forward now is to start focusing on something that's both easy to do and absolutely delightful.

Focus on joy today

Even if you have not yet been vaccinated, can you feel life opening up like I do? Does that lift your spirits? That feeling, my friend, is a glimmer of joy.

Cultivating joy sets a foundation on top of which great things can happen.

But joy is often regarded as frivolous, or not worthy of attention. If you have not tuned in to joy and all of its benefits, read on.

Why joy is important

I’m happy to share that the benefits of joy have been documented.

Joy improves heath. It reduces stress and pain, boosts our immune system, and promotes overall well-being. It makes us more resilient (something we all can certainly use). Living joyfully may even add years to your life.

In addition, joyful people have been observed to be kinder, more patient, and even more successful.

And the great thing is that joy can be actively pursued and cultivated. Sadly, many of us rush through our lives and miss opportunities for joy.

Three simple ways to bring more joy into your life

1. Look for wonder

When you actively look for wonder in your midst, there is always something marvelous to be found. Even in a seemingly unremarkable place, you can spot a moment of light and shadow, or a quirky detail, or the shape of an interesting tree as you look up at the sky, that can give you a moment of delight.

That delight you feel? That’s a bit of joy that can fuel your day.

2. Create beauty

We have endless opportunities to create moments of beauty.

What colors can you bring into a meal today — orange sweet potatoes? red beets? dark greens in your salad? How can you serve the food to be especially beautiful? What bowl or plates will you choose? I promise even the simplest food will taste better when you make it beautiful to look at, and the beauty will spark joy.

The same thing happens when you arrange items on your bookshelf with care, rather than just cramming things in. Each time you look at it you can experience a moment of pleasure.

And consider a color you hanker for, that will wake up your spirit now. Look for a scarf, or a flower, or a picture, or an item of any kind in that color, and you are sure to smile.

3. Connect to people who make you happy

When we choose to be with people who are full of positive energy, we naturally feel more joyful.

Whom can you reach out to and make a plan to meet?

We went to a sculpture park on the weekend and saw people safely enjoying the beauty of art in a great natural setting. Doing something like that with someone you enjoy will bring more joy into your life — you’ll experience the joy of being together as you feel inspired by the beauty of the art around you.

Reaching out to connect by phone works, too, and that can be done in the spur of the moment, without needing to deal with logistics.

Any way you can think of to share time with people you enjoy will add more joy to your life.

I believe that joy is our birthright

We can all bring more joy into our lives, and in doing so, we reap wonderful benefits. And the more joy you create, the more joy you will feel. The more joy you feel, the bigger the ripple effects will be — inside of you and for those around you.

The seeds of joy you plant and nurture will reap results that can be remarkable.

You deserve an abundance of joy. It’s key to living big.

How will you add more joy to your life today?

I am eager to hear!

Leave a comment and let me know how you experiment and choose to cultivate joy. I’d also love to hear about how you experience joy, and how joy supports you to live your best life.

And if, even with the addition of more joy, you don’t feel on track to live the life you yearn for, you may be thinking that a guide can help you. If so, let’s talk.

I am happiest when I am in conversation with accomplished women who want to explore what’s in their way now and connect to a vision for the lives they yearn to create — so they can step into making those visions their reality.

I promise that our conversation will provide you with a new insight or fresh perspectives, as well as ways you can begin to change your life for the better right away.

We can explore the possibility for you to be a part of my next Live Big Live! retreat, to help you create the life you want and deserve. And, if either of us feels the fit is not good, that’s absolutely fine.

Book a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me, or email me and we’ll make a date to talk.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

The way to stay motivated that most of us miss out on

If you are like so many of my clients (and like I used to be, too), you rarely stop to acknowledge yourself for small accomplishments.

We are busy and have a lot to get done. Many of the things we’re focused on are ambitious — projects that cannot be tackled in a sitting or two.

Projects at work can entail many steps and stages to complete. If you own a business, marketing tasks can feel never-ending. If there's a change you are making in your home, or you are committed to a project like writing a book or mastering a new skill, it may take months or even years to bring them to conclusion.

Things we quickly complete and check off on a to-do list feel satisfying, but as we work away on the bigger projects, it’s easy to feel discouraged.

That’s when things can stall out.

We can easily get down on ourselves. And when that happens it takes lots of energy to get back on track.

All of this is draining — and it can be avoided.

There are 3 great ways to avoid these pitfalls — and the last one is my favorite

Here are sure-fire ways to stay committed and motivated, no matter what you are trying to accomplish.

First, focus on what matters most

I often remind my clients that we all have limited time, attention and energy each day, so it’s important to carefully consider how to use all three.

Set your sights on what is really important. There are always urgent things to deal with, but few of them are really important. It’s the important but not urgent things we need to devote our time, attention and energy to with care.

Think about how you can delegate, defer, or even drop some of the urgent-but-not-important things. Then choose times on your calendar to batch your efforts for those that are left, so they don’t create attentional clutter or distract you.

This frees you for focused time — choose the time of day that’s most productive for you — to attend to what is really important.

Next break down bigger projects into tiny chunks

Accomplished people are especially prone to setting big goals. And doing that is a trap.

When you schedule smaller, doable pieces of your bigger goals, you give yourself a gift. These smaller tasks are easier to complete, and can be done in smaller amounts of time. Thus you get the satisfaction of completing things, and you get that satisfaction often.

This is good for your brain and good for your spirit!

It may feel challenging at first to embrace the idea that setting your sights on small steps will be meaningful and worthy. I urge you to try it. When you begin to experience the benefits, this new approach will be a game-changer.

This is the icing on the cake: acknowledge yourself and celebrate

This last step is the one we skip all the time, even when we complete big projects. Some of us skip it because we minimize the importance of what we have just completed. Some of us simply rush on to attend to the next thing (big or small).

When we fail to pause and acknowledge ourselves for everything we accomplish, we miss something big. And skipping past the small things is the most common oversight.

We miss giving ourselves the gift of self-appreciation.

Sure, it's great to get kudos from others. But we all deserve to acknowledge ourselves — and celebrate our accomplishments — when we complete things we’ve put effort into.

So, if you’ve taken a small first step — perhaps you’ve written the first draft of the copy for the home page of your website (not all the site copy), or you listed people to reach out to for input on a project (not made all of the calls), or you created a healthy meal plan for the week (not already done all the shopping and cooking) — it’s a perfect time to acknowledge yourself for completing a small and meaningful task.

One of my coaches calls these “Yay Me” moments, and I have my clients share their “Yay Me’s” regularly.

For me, witnessing “Yay Me” moments is almost magical. When you see someone who pauses to acknowledge herself with true pride for something small, it is amazing.

So, right this minute, can you give yourself a “Yay Me” for something small? (And if there’s a “Yay Me” for something big, by all means do that, too!)

For extra credit, can you share your “Yay Me” with someone?

I would love to hear your “Yay Me”!

Leave a comment or email me and let me know what came to mind for you to appreciate in this way. And let me know how it felt to savor and celebrate it.

I want to celebrate with you!

And if there are big questions or challenges that hamper you from making an important move forward in your life, and you want to find a guide to help you, let’s talk.

I am happiest when I am in conversation with accomplished women who want to explore what’s in their way now, and connect to a vision for the lives they yearn to create.

I promise our conversation will provide you with a new insight or fresh perspectives. Perhaps I can help you create the life you want and deserve — and, if either of us feels the fit is not good, that’s absolutely fine.

You can book a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me, or email me and we’ll make a date to talk.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

2.9.21, 5am...

It was 5:00am one morning last week, and this is what poured out onto the page when I could not sleep:

Right now it’s too much. Too much to do, too much to keep up with. More than I can do. More than I want to do.

I need space. Space for rest. Space for me. Space to be. Space to paint. Time for more movement. Yoga again! Reading!

Grace. Ease.

Help. Lots of it.

Simplify. Time with Steven. Go outside. Feel the snow. Breathe the air — everyday!!!

What can I postpone? Look and do that.

Block lots of time on my calendar for me. End the day earlier.

I cannot continue this way. And I will not.

Can you relate?

When clients work with me, they often think I have everything figured out.

Sure, they know that I’ve had challenges in the past, but they are certain that I have overcome them and live a perfectly balanced life — which is what so many of them are seeking.

The truth?

I do live a significantly different (and happier) life than I had a decade ago. But even as we learn and make big changes in our lives, the challenges we have faced before crop up again.

We are tested over and over.

Why did I find myself coming to all of this pre-dawn awareness after having made so many important changes in my life in the last decade?

Because the drivers that had made my “old” life so intense for so long tend to creep up on me if I fail to stay alert to them.

It is easy for me to drift back into an over-busy life, where I am not taking the consistent actions that I started to adopt a decade ago.

Slowing down and being still, really listening to my heart, and taking time to see wonder all around me every day can get crowded out with long lists of to-do’s.

Fully embracing gratitude, focusing on self-love, and allowing myself to feel free can fall by the wayside.

That's when my biggest challenges — letting fear influence me, and not focusing on being patient, so I can allow all the things I am working toward to unfold as they are meant to — really try and step in to sabotage me.

Getting back on course

Personal transformation is a process! It’s never one-and-done. We do the work to grow and develop new and better ways to live and work, and inevitably find that old challenges crop up again.

But when they show up, we are different than when we began the journey.

We can spot the problems earlier, before they wreak havoc as they used to. And we have tools and insights to return to, so we can begin to consistently bring those practices back into our lives and more quickly get on track.

I took my pre-dawn rant into a conversation with my coach, and with her brilliant guidance I made connections at a deeper level than ever before about what the underlying factors were that I could address — and powerful ways to bring big change into my life now.

We can always learn more and do more

We never “get there” — to a place of perfection and total ease.

We continually grow and expand, and even though we hit rough patches again and again, that growth is amazing!

I find it incredibly inspiring to gain new perspectives and deeper clarity as I move along my journey. As my life unfolds and I experience periodic set-backs, I can spot them and address them, and they become instructive.

Rather than festering and causing damage, I see them and learn from them. That’s how they bring me the gifts of new levels of change and expansion in my life.

And for that I am filled with gratitude.

Are you ready to start — or continue — your journey?

You may feel overwhelmed for any number of reasons.

You may be focused on everyone else’s well-being, and not your own.

You may have dreams you’ve put on hold or dreams you want to realize faster with guidance.

You may simply feel stuck or in a deep rut.

Whether you have addressed these challenges in the past and want to make your next move forward, or you want to begin a journey to transform your life, I applaud you for knowing you want to find a guide to help you.

I am happiest when I am in conversation with accomplished women who want to explore the real stuff that’s in their way now, and connect to a vision for the lives they want to create.

I invite you to have a conversation like that. I promise to provide you with new insights and perspectives. Perhaps I can help you create the life you want and deserve — and, if either of us feels the fit is not good, that’s absolutely fine.

It’s easy to book a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me, or email me and we’ll make a date to talk.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

What I learned this year — and how you can learn from me

Saturday was the one year anniversary of the day my book launched — Live Big: A Manifesto for a Creative Live has celebrated its first year in the world!

January 30 is a clear marker in time for me, and it’s exciting to recall all that's happened in the year related to publishing and introducing my book.

We have all thought a lot about the unexpected impact of the pandemic in 2020, something I could not imagine lay ahead on the day of the launch. I had so many plans that fell away or changed when we went into lockdown.

Many of us have have focused on recalling the challenges of 2020. There certainly were lots of them, and we have a long road ahead to be sure. And yet, we can always chose the filter for our reflections.

When I reflect on the first year LIVE BIG has been in the world I feel enormous gratitude.

I am grateful for everything I learned on my journey of writing and publishing the book. (In fact, I could write another book about that journey!) Most of all, I appreciate the steep learning curve I climbed and that I did not give up, even when things got complicated and frustrating.

I am grateful for the amazing reviews that I reached out and requested, and were written for the book in advance.

I am grateful for, and proud of, how I stepped into being visible in a bigger way, overcoming the discomfort of doing Facebook Lives, then hosting a live 3-hour launch party. I am also proud about the speaking and podcast appearances I now feel at ease doing, but which were a stretch back in early 2020.

I am grateful that I sought out and received wonderful help and support from many special people, without whom this project and the launch would have been far different.

I am grateful that I created new and exciting ways to share the story of the book, when book signings and personal appearances were not possible.

Most of all, I am grateful for the many readers who have not only shared their enthusiasm for the book, many in 5-star Amazon reviews and in notes to me (one included the photo above!), they also gifted the book to friends, family members and clients. That is a huge honor and it fills my heart with joy.

What can you look back on with gratitude — and how can you carry that energy into 2021?

We can all find evidence of ways we learned, responded and created in new ways in 2020 that can inspire us now.

As we step into this second month of the year, what lessons learned, what insights and appreciations can you take note of to build on, to make this year one you can look back on with pride and gratitude?

Why not take some time for reflection? Make notes of all the things for which you feel grateful.

If there are big things, like a major project you worked on or completed, break down all the parts that you can appreciate, and savor each one.

And be sure you note the small things from last year — like setting a good boundary, or making more time for self-care, or having the courage to have an important conversation that was on your mind, or responding to new challenges with fresh ideas. Often what we think of as small things have enormous importance, so don’t overlook or minimize any of the small things.

When you leverage the energy of gratitude remarkable things can happen.

I lived a long time without the insights I share with you each week. Learning about and bringing gratitude into my life in a focused way is one great asset I now make a focus each day.

Your path to living a bigger, happier, more satisfying life does not need to be as steep or take as long as my path took me.

And you don’t need to figure it out alone.

I am happiest when I help other women to get past their limitations, learn to bring great tools into their lives, and step into truly living big. Let’s have a conversation about what's happening in your life, the dreams and desires in your heart, and how you can get past what limits you to live the life you want.

I invite you to book a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me, or email me directly and we’ll make a date to talk.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

3 great ways to keep your spirits high

Wow, we’re in the last week of January already! Does it feel like time is flying by for you? Or are the days dragging along, as we continue to live through the pandemic and the ways it imposes limitations and challenges?

So much depends on the frame of mind we hold, even in the most trying times.

Try these 3 ways to keep your spirits from flagging

1. Create space for YOU

In my work with accomplished women I frequently hear about the stresses of work (and often parenting, too) that eclipse space for self-care and the pursuit of what brings them joy. (And there are plenty of men who struggle with this, as well.)

I get it. There’s a lot to do. There are obligations to fulfill, and people who need us, and...

When we deplete ourselves, we cannot do the best for anyone else. We cannot do our best work, either.

Our brains, bodies and spirits need a break!

We give best when we give from a full cup. Why not pause now, to think about a few ways you can fill your own cup?

2. Get clear about what matters to you

When you know your values, you have guideposts for what you say “Yes” to and what you choose not to do. It makes it easier to set good boundaries, and stop being a people-pleaser (if you are among the countless people-pleasers in the world).

By making better choices, that are aligned with your clear values, your day-to-day happiness and well-being will expand.

Why not think about the key values that matter most to you?

3. Adopt an abundant mindset to open your heart

When we believe in an abundant universe — by turning away from a mindset of scarcity — everything gets better in your life.

I know that this idea may may not be easy for many people to grasp. We live in a fear-driven culture, and most of us grew up in environments that were far from focused on abundance.

But I have seen what happens when I adopted this way of thinking and being in the world, and I see it all the time in the lives of my clients.

When we believe in abundance we share with ease, and we experience a feedback loop of generosity and kindness.

When we expect goodness, by shifting negative thoughts into positive ones and changing our self-talk, our energy changes. Our hearts are open. We feel more love and are fueled by love. People feel great being around us. Good things start happening more often.

And the positive ripple effects grow, too!

How can you try to shift into expecting the best in your day today?

I have tools that can help

I have a free guide called Creating Space for YOU: Easy Small Changes that Can Make a BIG IMPACT, that you can download here. It includes ideas for seemingly simple, doable changes that will do just what the title says — have a big impact on your life and well-being!

Let me know which of the practices you decide to try — and how they help you.

(Note, when you download the guide you’ll be added to my email list — but if you are already on the list and enter the same email address, you won’t get double emails.)

I also help my clients identify their values, and learn to create a more abundant mindset, so that they have more joy and ease in their lives. The impact helps them in remarkable ways.

If you want to talk about how to bolster your well-being in any (or all) of these ways, let’s talk. Email me and we’ll make a date for a Live Big Breakthrough Call.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

The perfect week for combining love + creativity

Here we are — the big holiday week of the year has arrived, and it’s also the week we celebrate the Winter Solstice.

As I do not celebrate Christmas, I enjoy seeing the pleasure so many friends experience on this holiday. And I am always glad to rejoice in celebrating the Solstice. While December 21st was the shortest, darkest day of the year, we now begin to enjoy a bit more daylight each day. This always lifts my spirits as we move into a new year.

And what a year this has been. I feel confident saying this is a year we will all remember, and we are all ready to bid adieu.

Now, more than any year in memory, we all need an abundance of light and love!

Make this a week to slow down, relax, and consciously welcome love

Even though we cannot be with friends and family in person as we long to, there are many ways to create connection and share love.

We must be extra-careful to stay safe and keep others safe. But that does not mean we need to feel apart in our hearts.

What new ways of connecting can you create now, that will hold meaning for you and those about whom you care?

While many of us feel “zoomed out” by work meetings, Zoom has proven to be a great way to share a meal, play a game, meet with family members at great distances to laugh together, and do creative projects (from my now-virtual monthly IgNight Creative Evenings to my weekly art-making dates with my grandson).

There are countless ways to create meaningful and memorable connections.

No matter what is happening around us and for us, we always have the power to create

Some of us have moved through the months of the pandemic with more ease than others. Many have suffered terribly. We have all been challenged — and changed.

And, as always, some people in similar situations fair better than others. Those that do best are those who are able to find the most positive frame of mind and the most positive path to pursue.

This is what I call creating our way forward

When things get tough, a creator looks for possibilities that are not obvious.

A creator considers new ways of responding. This can mean new ways of getting support, or new ways of coping with stress — whether it’s through creative expression, by reaching out, by ramping up self-care, by getting out in nature, or anything else. By choosing to create each next step with intention, rather than reacting, amazing things are possible.

A creator tries and tests new approaches. It might be for managing day-to-day life, for running a business or bringing in new streams of income, for setting up ways family members can all cohabit and do their work and learning, or anything else.

A creator keeps an open mind and stays curious. When you ask yourself, “What’s possible?” you are always considering how to find the best path forward.

A creator also looks for wonder and tunes in to gratitude every day.

Approaching your life this way keeps the heart open. When you combine an open heart and an open mind new possibilities show up.

Love + Creativity make a powerful combination

I invite you to bring love and light into your life in as many ways as you can dream up.

All that dreaming is connected to your creative power. You have a bottomless well of creativity. You cannot run out of it, so use it with abandon!

When you are focused on love, and you create with intention, fear stays at bay and joy increases. And who doesn’t want a tremendously joy-filled holiday season?

Start now, and it will be easy to carry this beautiful energy into the new year.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

How to stay steady in a peak emotional time

If you feel like most people I know, the last days and weeks have been incredibly challenging. On top of concerns about increasing COVID cases, extreme weather, and escalating political tension, election day — tomorrow — is filling most of us with intense emotion.

It feels to me like being in a state of suspended animation. Many people describe it as a collective holding of breath.

And holding your breath for any extended period of time — either physically or metaphorically — is never a good idea.

Why?

When you hold your breath for more than a short time, a cascade of problematic physical responses result. You decrease oxygen flow to the brain, your heart rate drops, CO₂ and other dangerous gases build up in your blood, and none of that is healthy.

And when you feel as though you are holding your breath emotionally, you put yourself in a heightened state of anxiety. Anxiety impacts your mood, and it also impacts your body. Your heart may pound, you may develop headaches, experience GI problems, have trouble sleeping, and more.

Today, and in the days to come, you can support yourself to stay emotionally steady with these 3 practices.

1. Start breathing with intention

Yes, your breath is a tool that can help you in many ways. When you breathe deeply and slowly, the stress responses in your body are reduced.

Sit quietly for a minute or two — or a bit longer. Breathe in fully, all the way into your belly. Pause a moment and then exhale very slowly. As few as three long slow belly breaths like this will help.

As you breathe this way, you will feel a gentle release of tension. Let your shoulders drop and relax. Aim to bring that softness into all the muscles in your body — from the top of your head, to your jaw and neck, and down to your toes.

Repeat breathing breaks like this often.

2. Move your body

Choose a way that appeals to you to get yourself in motion.

If you are a runner, or love yoga, those are great ways to get moving. But there are very simple ways that work well, too.

In just five to 10 minutes you can stretch and shake out your body. Get some music on and dance. Or take a brisk walk around the block.

Getting the blood flowing like this releases natural chemicals that enhance your sense of well-being.

3. Get creative

When you start creating you have a great outlet for anxiety or other difficult emotions.

You can write a poem or pour your thoughts out in a journal. Try using color and draw or paint. You might cook, play music, dance, sing, garden, build something, knit, or create in any way you can think of.

Why not invite someone to create with you? Is there someone you live with who would enjoy sharing some creative time mid-day? Or take a short creative break on Zoom with a friend or a small group.

Creating is a remarkable effective way to unload big emotion, feel more energy and maybe even feel joy.

Whatever happens in the world around us, we need to be our best selves.

We all need to show up, we all need to go on. We need to bring our best selves to everything we do.

Start with you.

When you are on steady footing, you will be a better leader to everyone around you.

You will be a better partner and friend, a better parent, a better colleague, and better at the work you do in the world. Your work matters now as much or more than ever.

We have all lived through fraught times before. We can move forward in the face of challenges.

On this important day remember that we all need to keep leading.

That’s how we move into a better future.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Have you thought about the choices you are making?

Welcome to October! I am feeling joy and gratitude when I am in the splendor of nature in all its glory. Color fills my view each time I step outside, and my heart swells!

This upbeat feeling is especially appreciated as the emotional intensity in the world around us seems to be escalating daily. How can we find, and hold, energy that lights us up, that keeps us grounded, rather than being pulled into the chaotic energy that abounds? 

Your choices impact your outlook

You see what you look for

Have you stopped to consider where you tend to put your attention? When you look for beauty (of any kind) you see more of it. And the more you look for, the more you see, the happier it makes you.

This works in much the same way when you choose to listen to uplifting stories or music, or choose to create meals with colors and aromas and flavors that especially delight you.

You can choose with whom to spend time

Think about the people you choose to be with and the kinds of conversations you choose to have. These choices have a huge impact on the way you feel and the way you see the world.

We all know people who bring us down. Their negativity can pull you in and be hard to shake. If someone like that is a family member with whom you want to be in contact, limit the exposure — or better yet, try and steer conversations in a positive direction.

Focus on connecting to people who lift you up. Who can you think of who sees the world as a place filled with inspiring stories and possibilities, even in hard times?

You can say “No” to news overload

Just as we can focus on interacting with people who lift our spirits and inspire a positive outlook, we can limit the time we spend listening to, watching and reading the news.

We can also carefully choose sources for news that are free of hype and bias. 

If you have not yet tried going on a “news diet” it may feel like a challenge. More and more people are finding this to be a great way to keep themselves positively focused.

You get to make new choices

Why not try some of these ideas and see what happens?

• If you have been cooped up inside, spend more time outside.

• If you have been feeling low, read something inspiring, watch a great TED talk, listen to a fascinating podcast, or dive into a creative project and express yourself.

• If online TV binges have made you feel sluggish, get curious about something new. Read about it, find demo videos, or give a new technique a try. (Maybe you will take up a new craft, cook a new cuisine, learn to build something, plant bulbs, study a period of history, pick up an instrument you haven’t touched in ages...)

• If you feel lonely or isolated, look for ways to make virtual connections or find like-minded communities of people online.

• If you are concerned about the election and the world around you, take action. You might volunteer for a campaign or to support voting rights. You can register to be on the next Creators of Change call. There are many incredible ways to get involved, rather than letting distress bring you down.

What choices will you make today? 

No matter the externalities, you always get to choose the way you see the world, and the way you can live through each day.

Making thoughtful choices aimed at supporting a positive frame of mind will impact everything in your life.

Leave a comment or email me and let me know how your choices are making a difference.

And if you want to talk about how to usher meaningful change into your life, we can make a date for a Live Big Breakthrough Call. I will help you gain clarity and insights about what is in the way of you stepping into the big life you yearn to make your reality.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

How we can move through this time of change

September is a time for new beginnings of all kinds. Even if you were not among those fortunate to have been able to get away this summer, or if life feels like a long string of similar days, there’s a shift that most of us feel after Labor Day.

Interconnected themes and inspiration have been showing up for me recently, that I am glad to share. 

7 things I am thinking about in this time of transition

1. We can choose optimism or pessimism. 

In his sermon on Rosh Hashana (the Jewish holiday to welcome the Jewish new year), our rabbi talked about optimism and pessimism. He pointed out that both can exist simultaneously, and that both can be motivators to take action. I would add that we always get to choose the frame for how we want to look at the world.

2. A broken heart can fuel passion. 

I heard the heartbreaking news about Ruth Bader Ginsberg’s death just after our Rosh Hashana evening service ended on Friday night. RBG was a giant of a woman who was fearlessly and passionately committed to work for equality and justice. We have the opportunity, and responsibility, to continue the work she advanced with so much grace, talent, tenacity and determination.

3. We have agency and we can take action. 

It’s easy to fall into despair when there are so many big issues on our minds. Regardless of the frame we chose as motivation (optimism or pessimism), when we think about what great people like Ruth Bader Ginsberg were able to accomplish, we can step up and take action to make this a better world. While few of us will have an opportunity like sitting on the Supreme Court, all of us can take action. History offers us many examples about how the combined efforts of great numbers of people have brought meaningful change to the world. 

4. When you look for it, you can find inspiration. 

I heard Brené Brown’s Unlocking Us podcast with Sonya Renee Taylor yesterday, talking about the book The Body is Not an Apology: The Power of Radical Self-Love. The conversation they had about this book was mind-expanding. Taylor takes the concept of self-love, that I teach in my work, to remarkable new heights. Opportunities to hear conversations like this can change the frame through which we see and understand the world, and ourselves. 

5. We can create inspiration. 

At my monthly IgNight Creative Evening on Thursday, when we created together on Zoom, the energy was electric. The theme for the evening was “reframing.” We expressed in words, we drew abstract concepts, and we dove into a great way to explore with color. We played and experimented. We shared and inspired one another. The uplifting spirit of the evening made me think about the opportunities we have to bring light and fun into many parts of our lives.

6. There is great power in community. 

The pandemic made it impossible to be with my community for services on Friday and Saturday. It made it impossible to be with family and friends after my mother’s death last month. It made it impossible to have IgNight in my studio. It has made it impossible to meet in person with colleagues and clients. And yet, we have been connected, and we’ve shared in community in new ways. And while some of what we miss when not in the same room is a loss, we have had new benefits. We can now connect with people who are located well beyond what would be possible in person. And the connections are deep and satisfying, even when we only see each other on a screen.

7. The power of love is vast.

Love is the thread that connects and inspires everything in my life. I believe that when we lead with love, when we look at the world through the lens of love, when we take action fueled by love, and when we bring love into everything we do, we live our biggest and best lives. 

How are you moving through this time of change?

What are you seeing and experiencing now? Are you feeling optimistic or pessimistic? Are you inspired to take action in your life? Are you motivated to impact something in the world? 

Drop me a note or leave a comment to let me know.

And if you want to talk about how to bring new inspiration into your life, I invite you to schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me. 

I would be delighted to help you gain insight and clarity about what may be hampering you or changes you are seeking to make, and how you can bring new inspiration and intentional change into your life. 

I look forward to hearing from you.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Use these 3 steps to move from despair to inspiration

Have you stopped to consider that there is nearly always more than one way to look at things?

I have become even more alert to the possibilities of looking at things through a different lens recently, and it has shifted so much for me.

Examples of issues we can look at in new ways, that quickly come to mind, relate to many big tensions in the world around us.

The ongoing pandemic, the political climate as the election nears, deep concerns about environmental change as we see storms and fires fiercer than ever before, and a renewed focus on demanding the end to social and racial injustice are some of the big challenges.

For many people, the sense of overwhelm is huge. And it’s exhausting. 

It’s absolutely normal to feel concerned about such important matters, but there are options and opportunities to rise above the despair.

We get to chose the way we look at things,
and we can chose the way we respond

When we are able to stay calm and clear-headed, we think better. This allows us to stop being reactive. And from that calmer starting point, we can think positively.

We can make better decisions.

When we avoid spinning into despair, the choices we are able to make for what to do next can be more meaningful, and they can have more impact.

As a glass-half-full person, I realize I have an advantage. But anyone can decide to chose the lens through which to look at things.

Here is how you can make a positive shift.

1. Create the best environment for your wellbeing

We create our experiences, and we create our environment.

Things to delete

News cycles and social media feeds can be toxic. They are built to bombard us with sensationalized information and hype.

I am keen to be informed, but I (and many others) have found that going on a “news diet” has worked wonders. A check-in with a source you trust, once or twice a day, is more than enough to keep up with current happenings.

And, limiting social media “rabbit-hole” excursions not only keeps overwhelm down, it gives you the gift of precious time.

Consider, too, the conversations you choose to have. You can establish boundaries with those who focus only on the negative, or worse yet, rant.

Filter out stressful influences like these for a few days and see what happens.

Things to add

We find what we look for and and what we focus on. And, the universe connects us to where we bring our attention, as well.

Here’s a great example.

While writing this article, I took a short break and my husband mentioned that he’d just read a great opinion piece that he thought I would find interesting. (He had no idea that I was writing on this topic!) 

The remarkable New York Times opinion piece, titled, The Outrage Diet, is chock full of inspiring ideas about what to do to limit the impact of all of the fury that is damaging people’s health and wellbeing. 

You can also actively seek out uplifting people and resources. Who do you know who is always inspiring you, or impressing you with fresh and uplifting ideas? What podcasts or writers bring you positive and informative perspectives? 

Brené Brown’s books and her new podcast, Unlocking Us, and Krista Tippett’s On Being site and podcasts, come quickly to mind. I find myself grateful when I choose resources like these.

You may also want to change what you read and watch for entertainment. Choose what will fill you with uplifting energy and inspiration.

And, I always advocate for adding creativity into your life. The more creativity (of any kind) you engage in, the more easily you can bring creative thinking to everything you do.

Which leads to my next recommendation:

2. Reframe whenever possible

If you saw the email I sent on Sunday about my weekly Creators of Change calls, you saw that I shared a remarkable and inspiring reframe for how to view the current political climate, and how we can move forward.

I shared the work of Valerie Kaur, whose TED talk (and the quote I had pulled from it) shifted my view in a dramatic way.

Valerie Kaur’s take on the way we can see — and impact — the world reminded me of another example I heard from a great coach of mine, that goes like this.

If you entered a room and saw a woman in the late stages of labor, you might declare, “There’s a woman in crisis in here!” But if you knew it was a birthing room, you would say, “There’s a woman in labor here.” Same woman, same event, and a different way of relating to and thinking about what you were seeing.

We have many opportunities to reframe. When we consider what is possible, rather than focusing only on what is problematic, we open our minds. We can see positive perspectives and think about positive things to do, rather than feeling stuck in despair.

3. Take action and see things improve

Action is the step that takes you from the starting point of seeing through a new lens to great outcomes.

The New York Times Opinion piece I recommended is chock full of excellent examples of action you can take when you feel overcome by outrage or despair.

Finding action to take to address a concern or improve a troubling situation — even in a small way — is empowering. 

The action can be to dive in and learn more, to reach out to someone, to make a donation, to start a new conversation, to share your ideas (like writing an opinion piece or blog post), and more. Commitment to making things better starts with one small action, and then staying in action.

I also recommend you check out this excellent article, that’s filled with creative ideas for how we can educate high school students in the age of COVID. This is an example of looking at an urgent issue through a new lens. And by adding creative thinking, and suggesting new action, the author has not only enriched us with his great ideas, he may positively impact the lives of vast numbers of students and teachers.

How will you see new possibilities?

What one small change can you make today to create a more positive environment and start seeing challenges in a new light? How can you bring fresh, creative thinking to something on your mind? What action can you take?

If you want to talk about how to bring these suggestions into your life, I invite you to schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me.

I would be delighted to help you gain insight and clarity about changes you are seeking to make, and how you can live a more empowered life. 

I look forward to hearing from you.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

How to stay grounded when stress shows up

All of us have ups and downs. But in the times we have been living through, many of us find ourselves dealing with stress more frequently than in the pre-COVID era, or find ourselves stressed in response to situations that never existed before.

And, stress is not to be taken lightly or blithely brushed aside.

How stress takes a toll

When we are stressed, our bodies release hormones that increase heart rate and breathing. Strained respiratory systems can lead to asthma and other difficulties.

Stress causes tension that can be mild to debilitating. Painful neck and shoulder muscles are common, as are headaches — that range in severity.

Stress can influence our diets, causing cascading problems like acid reflux and other GI disturbances. 

And then there’s the emotional toll of stress, ranging from anxiety to fatigue to overwhelm to depression.

Further, the more stress we have, and the longer it persists, the greater the negative impact it has on or lives.

We do have power, even in stressful circumstances

Even when things feel really hard — and even when we cannot control much that we used to be able to control — we always have choices.

And choosing deliberately can ground you in ways you may not realize is possible.

Follow these 3 steps and see what happens.

1. Choose your frame of mind

If you feel anxiety rising, choose to quiet your body and your mind. Sit and breathe for several minutes, or meditate. Try some 4x4 box breathing or butterfly tapping — that I describe on the Thriving Now page on my site, where you will find many other good resources, too.

You may also want to release emotions by creating.

A client recently said that having gained new insights in our work about the power of creativity to cope with emotion, she made a vivid drawing of the anxiety she felt and that help her to release it.

Another client said that enrolling in a dance class months ago has turned out to be one of her best decisions. She is amazed at how it has helped her cope in challenging times.

By calming your nervous system and releasing unwanted emotions, you will feel better in the moment, and you will set yourself up for better outcomes.

2. Ask yourself good questions.

We are often faced with matters that feel so big, with so many unknowns, that we get paralyzed.

Now that you've gotten calm and centered, try this. 

Get totally focused on the present, and your options and opportunities. Ask yourself questions like these:

• What is possible?

• What is possible that I never considered?

• What if it’s possible that...?

• What can I create that may sound crazy?

• What wild idea could be the germ of a new way forward?

3. Create your next best step, and the one after it.

When you allow yourself to decide on just your next best step, you take a lot of pressure off of yourself.

Simply make your next best decision. Create one next step. Then chose the next step to take that is right for you.

This is a wonderful way for you to own your power.

You can be a creator in each moment.

And as you create, you are able to be more grounded, rather than pulled into stress.

Where will this process take you?

I would love to hear about the ways these ideas help you to to stand in your power, master your mindset and make forward strides in your life, even when the circumstances around you are tough. 

This is how you can create your life one step at a time — how you create your future. 

If you would like to talk about the future you want to create, and how to get there, I invite you to schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me.

I’ll help you gain insight and clarity about what you want, the changes you are seeking to make, and what may be limiting you. 

I look forward to hearing from you.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

How to make 1 life-changing change

Most of us go through familiar motions each day. After all, as humans we are creatures of habit and we don’t give much thought to our ingrained patterns. 

Some of our habits are fine, and many may be terrific. But most people who pause to think about it, realize that there are some ways they live day by day that are dissatisfying, if not problematic.

For some, the tiny device they carry all day is a huge distraction, and for many it serves as a seductive way to avoid doing things they want, or mean, or need to do. (There are variations on this theme, too, like indulging in Netflix binges, or scrubbing at the grout in the shower.)

For some, living in overdrive is habitual and exhaustion is the norm. They cannot remember how to get quiet and relax.

For others, worry is a habit.

Some overeat or drink as a way to numb themselves when they feel discomfort.

Some deplete themselves by always taking care of, and trying to please, everyone around them.

You can choose to cultivate new ways of being

You may be familiar with the idea of committing to a “practice” in your life. If not, you may have heard people refer to their yoga practice, or a meditation practice, or a self-care practice, or some other kind of practice.

Starting a practice is an excellent way to change habits that hinder you.

When I first heard the term “practice” years back, I found it curious — and I thought it was a bit pretentious. I now understand the concept of having a practice, and how meaningful and helpful it is.

When I decided to attend yoga classes, and found a teacher and classmates that felt like “home” for me, I began to understand what it means to have a practice in your life. I regularly attended classes and found yoga to be an important part of my life.

When you choose to adopt a practice, you commit to doing something new or different with ongoing focus and regularity.

What it looks like to adopt a practice

Yoga is a good form of exercise, but yoga is really about more than simply mastering physical poses. By choosing to have a yoga practice, you commit. Each time you get on the mat you learn more about how your body works, you slowly cultivate balance, you experience more flexibility and strength, you breath with intention. And as you do all of that, you become fully present to your body. You experience what it feels like to empty your mind and be only in the present.

You do not gain all of these benefits in a week. It is when you sustain a yoga practice that the benefits grow and become greater over time.

Adopting a sustained practice of any kind works the same way.

Your new practice — which can be establishing new guidelines for interacting with your smartphone, or new ways of cooking and eating, or creating a schedule for your days that matches your peak energy periods, or building regular movement into your life — will impact the way you show up in your life.

It will help you to be the person you want to be.

Who you want to be to live your best life?

Why not stop and consider who you want to be, and who you need to be, to live the life you truly yearn for? Asking yourself may help you identify a range of ways you want to commit to bringing new practices into your life.

You may want to learn to slow down and be still — and enjoy that stillness.

You may want to start living in the present moment, rather than replaying old experiences, reliving regrets, or pushing your thoughts out to what-ifs in the future.

You may want to feel more free and willing to experiment, play and try new ideas, rather than holding back until you feel certain of outcomes.

You may want to dive into an interest that you’ve been drawn to but have not pursued, for fear you won’t be good enough, or that others might criticize you.

Use these 3 steps to get started

A word of caution: Don’t slip into the trap of making lots of changes at once. That’s never wise. And, avoid getting overwhelmed by ruminating over all the possibilities for what one change to make.

These steps can guide your process:

1. Start by asking yourself this question:

What one new way of being do I feel most eager to adopt now?

Let your intuition chime in here, and trust it. You do not need to make a “perfect” choice — simply make a choice!

2. Next, consider what small new practice you can commit to that will help you to adopt that new way of being.

Find some uninterrupted time and brainstorm about this. (The Discovery Dozen™ exercise, that I teach in my book, can be a great resource for exploring possibilities.)

Having generated a list of ideas, what feels the most appealing? Aim to create a small new practice that you believe you can commit to.

3. Now it’s time to put the new practice into action.

Get started! Make adjustments if you find that something does not work so well, or shift to new variations if needed, but keep going.

Once you have landed on the way your new practice works for you, and you stay with it (even if it takes some getting used to at first), you will be on your way to becoming the person you want to be now.

And be sure to acknowledge and celebrate yourself after taking each of these steps. 

What’s next?

When you have a new practice comfortably in place, you will find that you can consider adding another new practice.

This is how we grow and expand in our lives.

This is how you can live big.

If you would like to talk about the future you want to create, and who you need to become to create that life, I invite you to schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me.

I’ll help you gain insight and clarity about what you want, what changes you are seeking to make, and what may be limiting you. 

I look forward to hearing from you.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

How to live big each day

We are starting to see small shifts happening around us. Things are “opening up” in different ways in various places, and at different paces. 

How are you being impacted now?

What do you foresee changing for you?

As you consider these questions, consider that each day — no matter where you live and what your circumstances — you can ask yourself two more questions. They that will help you make the most of your day, and the most of your life!

Two powerful questions to ask yourself each day

If you have my book, Live Big: A Manifesto for a Creative Life, you know that it is divided into two sections. The first 10 chapters are about the being of living big. The other 10 chapters are about the doing of living big.

Why?

Because we are human beings, and we spend way more time doing, than being. And living big starts with our state of being.

Question 1: “Who do I need to be today?”

When you consider who you need to be to step into your day and have it be the best day possible, you orient yourself to the way you want to live your day.

For example, if you have been feeling sluggish, or stuck, you may want to feel more free and get your spirit soaring.

Or, if you have been frantically trying to keep up with work, childcare, and everyday tasks that drain you, you may need to slow down and find stillness, to allow space for reflection, ease, and self-care.

Other possibilities for the focus you may want to bring to your state of being include: living in the present, loving more, being true to your heart, living without fear, aligning with your purpose, cultivating patience, being grateful, and seeing wonder around you.

Each of these will have a meaningful impact on your well-being.

Question 2: “What do I most need to do today?”

In addition to your state of being, focus on the action you want to take, and how you will do it. That’s where the doing of living big can be considered.

You may realize that you will benefit from listening more clearly for the signals from your intuition.

You may decide that actively creating will charge your imagination and provide you with energy that will be a game-changer. 

Today may be the day for you to speak your truth, or tap more of your passion, or live boldly — even in a quiet way.

Or, it may be a day for you to embrace change, play more, find your way through confusion, or be resilient.

Today you may choose to focus on charting your path to move into the future. 

All of these ways to take action are essential to living big, and you can develop your abilities to do all of them.

Small steps make a big difference

If you feel unsure how to get started opening the states of being and doing you feel called to bring into your day, Live Big is filled with exercises and practices to help you. 

Just asking yourself these questions, and stepping into the exploration of these ways of living — one small step at a time — is a great start.

Living big is a practice. It’s a life-long journey of growth and expansion. And each step on the journey is a step of expansion.

Because life is always changing — whether change comes quickly, as it did around the world weeks back, or things slowly unfold, as they are doing now.

And every day of your life offers you the opportunity to live big.

When you want support, here are 3 ways to get it

1. Check out the list of resources and ideas on the Thriving Now page on my website. All of the tools and ideas have been shared in my weekly Zoom calls.  

2. Join me for the next Creating Our Way Forward Zoom call on Saturday, May 23 at 3:00pm eastern for an intimate conversation when we will connect, share, and learn new ways to both cope and stay inspired. You can register here for the next call. 

3. And, to get clear about what’s in the way for you and talk about what it can look like to get deeper, life-changing coaching support, I invite you to schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call. I promise that you will gain insights and value from this call, whether you choose to embark on coaching or not. Schedule your Live Big Breakthrough Call here.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Are you ready for what’s next?

I don’t know about you, but I’ve been reading lots of new posts that are focused on “emerging” and “restarting.”

Maybe we are at a moment where things will start to “open up.” And...

What that will look like — depending on where you live, and the way it’s handled, and if we will find ourselves knocked back again — is a big unknown.

As an optimist, I always focus on the positive. And still, this is a time for taking a clear look at where we are, what may be coming, and how to navigate now.

That’s because we are faced with a force of biology and nature that’s unlike anything we have experienced before. There are too many variables and possibilities to know what lies just ahead (much less what’s coming farther down the road).

So, having lived through weeks of isolation and facing so much uncertainty, what can you do now?

1. Start by assessing your current state

Most of us have used the weeks since enforced social distancing as a time to consider how we can live our best lives despite remarkable limitations. 

Some have struggled, some have had ups and downs. 

Some have found new ways to find well-being — both emotionally and physically — while others are still looking for what they need to feel grounded and balanced and healthy.

We all have different challenges — from isolation and loneliness, to juggling childcare and work, to caring for elderly loved ones at a distance, to finding our financial well-being overturned, to health challenges, to having to respond or provide services in new ways in our businesses, to grief, and more. 

I doubt that any of us moving through this time have been unaffected or unchanged.

So, how are you doing now?

2. Sustain your foundation — or shore it up

The only thing we know for sure is that there’s uncertainty ahead. 

If you have adjusted and feel you have solid footing, this is the time to sustain it. That means maintaining a commitment to yourself and the routines that are working. And, it means staying open and creative in your thinking, so that you can modify as you find new and better ways to support yourself, or find yourself needing to adapt to changes.

For most of us, living well continues to be a work in progress. And, that's ok. This is a perfect time to shore up your foundation.

3. Put your best resource to work.

What’s the greatest resource, that’s available to all of us, no matter how you have assessed your current state?

Creativity

And if you are wondering how to start ramping up your creativity, it’s easier than you may think.

If you’ve been reading my posts for a while you have heard me say that a key to opening your creative channels is to start by bolstering self-love.

Here are some simple ways to give yourself a little self-love pep talk.

• Remind yourself that you are a wonderful person, and are deserving of goodness, happiness and abundance.

• Remind yourself that you have a wealth of gifts to share. 

• Remind yourself that you have overcome challenges before and can again. 

Next, ask yourself questions like these:

• What self-care do I need to focus on now?

• Who can I turn to for help and support?

• How can I think differently?

• How can I serve in new ways?

• What would bring more happiness into my life?

• What's possible that I have not explored?

• Where are there opportunities now?

• How can I look at things from a new angle or perspective?

• How might I pivot?

• What matters most to me now? What one small thing can I do to make it happen, or do more of it?

All of these questions put you into a creative mindset. They open your creative thinking, and as a byproduct, they lift your spirits. 

You might write for 5 or 10 minutes as you answer each of the questions that calls to you — and you might add more questions as your intuition and curiosity get into gear.

And, to really amplify the process, start a creative practice, or do more that’s creatively expressive. Doodle, sing, cook, garden, write poems, play music, knit, build something, paint, quilt, dance — whatever you enjoy creating will give you a big emotional lift, and that lift will make everything in your life better.  

Once you adopt a creative mindset, and ramp up creative expression, you will be amazed at the impact they have. And as you move into the future you will have the resources you need to continue creating your best life. 

Are you ready for support?

I continue to provide a range of ways to support you.

The list of resources and ideas on the Thriving Now page on my website continues to grow. All of the tools and ideas, that can help you as you navigate this time, have been shared in my weekly Zoom calls.  

My next Creating Our Way Forward Zoom call will be on Saturday, May 16 at 3:00pm eastern. Join in for another intimate conversation with women from all over the country, when we connect, share, and learn new ways to both cope and stay inspired. You can register here for the next call.

If you want one-on-one coaching support, I have 2 spots on my calendar this week for free 30-minute Creating My Way coaching calls. It’s been wonderful supporting the women who have scheduled these calls already. Access my calendar to schedule your session.*

And, to get clear about what’s in the way for you and talk about what it can look like to get deeper, life-changing coaching support, I invite you to schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call. I promise that you will gain insights and value from this call, whether you choose to embark on coaching or not. Here’s how to schedule your Live Big Breakthrough Call.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Can you take this word out of your vocabulary?

In many recent conversations I’ve heard people use a word that I learned, long ago, to remove from my vocabulary. We all use it (and, yes, I still slip up from time to time). And, we’d all be doing much better if we could banish it.

The word? 

SHOULD

This is a loaded word. A word your self-critic loves to use to bombard you. A word you can live without. Because when you are aware and start to shift your self-talk to eliminate the “shoulds,” your life will get so much better.

I know that sounds like a grand promise.

Can changing one word do that much?

Yes. And here’s why.

When you layer “should” upon “should” on yourself, you are constantly feeding yourself negativity and criticism. You’re heaping self-judgement on yourself. 

You are often comparing yourself to others — or some ideal — and in the process you feel awful that you haven’t measured up. 

And that takes a toll.

Some of the shoulds I have been hearing lately include:

• I should be decluttering, like everyone else.

• I should be doing yoga every day, or taking hour-long walks.

• I should be applying for the new job I was starting to look for just before all this started.

• I should be doing something creative, but when I pull out art materials I can’t get myself to start.

• Baking? Who has time for baking? But everyone else's family is doing it...

• I should be getting ready for bed earlier... And meditating... And journaling...

• I should be volunteering. There are so many people who need help.

• I should be working on new ideas for my business, and implementing new initiatives now.

• What’s wrong with me? I should be coping better than I am.

You get the point. Maybe you see your “shoulds” on this list, or are adding yours.

If you’re a “should-er,” this is a perfect time to change your self-talk.

Try using these three steps:

1. Notice

Change begins with this crucial step: aim to catch yourself when you are “should-ing” yourself. With attention and practice, the “shoulds” get easy to spot in the moment.

2. Reframe

This step takes practice. This is when you pause and reframe the “should” thought when you notice it. Here’s an example of how you might do that.

When a thought shows up like: “I should be able to get this to-do list all checked off today,” you could re-phrase it as: “I will start doing the most important item on my list and see if I can finish that in the next hour. I’ll continue from there.”

Or, you might rephrase it this way: “Since I was up during the night with my child who couldn’t sleep, it’s ok if I just start with the first important task and reassess my energy levels for continuing after an hour.”

3. Be gentle with yourself

If someone or something needs attention — it could be an elderly parent dialing you up, a child who wakes up early from a nap, an unexpected email from a colleague, or just that you realize you are not able to focus on the matter at hand — the task you planned on will take longer, or it may need to be deferred. 

That’s ok. There’s a lot happening now that is not like “life was before,” and berating yourself will only make things harder.

This is an important time to be gentle with yourself and practice self-love. (You may want to read an older post about self-love, for specific ways to do that.)

And, as you are able to make progress — even small progress counts! —acknowledge yourself. Appreciate that you embarked on or completed a task, or started developing a new idea, or helped someone, or just made it through the day with more ease.

What would make you smile and feel good about something like that? What small treat can you give yourself? Have fun thinking of ways to acknowledge every small step on this path.

I am here to support you in several ways.

As the weeks of disruption continue, you may be finding that you need new responses.

I have been adding resources and ideas to the Thriving Now page on my website that can help you as you navigate this time. The page is filled with tools and ideas have been shared in my ongoing, weekly Zoom calls.

My next Creating Our Way Forward Zoom call will be on Saturday, May 9 at 3:00pm eastern. In these intimate conversations, women from all over the country have been connecting, sharing, and learning new ways to both cope and stay inspired. You can register here for the next call.

If you want some one-on-one support, I have 2 spots on my calendar this week for free 30-minute Creating My Way coaching calls. It’s been wonderful supporting the women who have scheduled these calls already. Access my calendar to schedule your session.*

And, to get clear about what’s in the way for you and talk about what it can look like to get deeper coaching support, I invite you to schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me. Here’s where to do that.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

The big mindset lesson I did not see coming

Our mindset is always crucially important, and it’s never been more important than it is now.

If you’ve been here for a while, you know that I advocate for creating as a key way to live well. My mission is to help people to adopt the mindset of being creators in their lives, rather than letting life happen to them.

And, I advocate for the benefits of finding ways to create expressively. When you express yourself through any creative effort, you can “offload” troubling emotion, get into a state of flow and positivity, and elevate great emotions.

My original plan for this article was to talk about how you can tune in to your intuition, and why that’s something valuable to learn and practice now.

But I am taking a detour.

I want to share something personal, that has proven to be big for me this week. 

In this time of living through major disruption, when so much has shifted and so many are struggling, my creative practice has amazed me. I have loved the time I’ve set aside to paint the last four years. But in the last two months it has become more important than I ever expected.

I want to share what’s happened in my life in the last weeks.

I have been studying painting at the SMFA since 2016. I take one class each semester, on Monday nights. And, I nearly always spend a couple of hours painting on the Sunday before my class.

It’s a relatively small time commitment, but it’s been a meaningful and important part of my life.

And then the pandemic hit.

Tufts closed and we shifted to online classes — which is super-challenging for a studio class! Fortunately, I had set up a dedicated small painting studio in my home last summer, so I had a place for all of my materials and the canvases that had been at school.

And, my life got busier than ever in the last eight weeks. I was no longer making time on Sundays to paint. But I did paint on Monday evenings, and what started to happen in that time has been more profound than I ever could have imagined.

The world changed and my art changed.

My abstract paintings have always been rooted in emotion, in making visual what I am feeling. And while I have been safe, healthy and secure, and gratified to be able to support so many people during this stressful time, I thought I was pretty grounded. 

But I can see now that I was unaware of how my mindset was being tested.

Standing in front of my easel these last weeks, and letting all of my emotion come forward, has connected me to a lot of tough stuff that I’d had glimpses of, but had not fully acknowledged. And that unacknowledged deep emotion was interfering with my well-being.

I am concerned about my elderly parents. I am concerned about family members in frail health. I am concerned about policy makers who have increased the scope and danger of the epidemic for our society and continue to fail us in so many ways. I am disturbed by how many people are in peril — front-line workers, those who are ill with the virus, people who are in dire financial straits, people around the world who were in peril before all of this, and are in greater danger now. I could go on and on. 

That deep emotion sat like an undercurrent, disturbing my sleep, my digestion and making me feel subtly uneasy. It would not sit quietly under the surface when I was in the studio. It insisted on being fully felt. And I let it be the fuel for my work.

I am letting myself feel it all.  

Each time I have painted over the last weeks has been wrenching. Something inside has opened up each time I’ve stepped into my studio — my sacred space for feeling it all.

My heart has ached. Tears have run down my face. In fact, just writing this is making me emotional. 

And I let it all come, without trying to make “beautiful paintings.” My amazing teacher, Elaine Spatz-Rabinowitz, and my dear classmates (all on Zoom now) have been remarkably supportive. Yes, they said — make it ugly. Yes, be raw.

And magic has happened. 

It has felt so liberating to allow myself to paint the ugly and raw emotions that have been sitting just under the surface. And, remarkably, what has come through me onto the canvas is one painting in particular, titled In the Unknown, that I completed last Monday. I have never painted anything like this before. My feelings are coming through in new and different ways.

I have lightened the burden on my heart through the process of creating, each time I show up in my studio. And, I hope that my expressions of this deep emotion will touch someone, somewhere, and help them to feel what they may have bottled up or pushed aside.

This time will not last forever. We will move forward.

Some things will be the same after this. Many things will have shifted. And we will adapt and adjust.

But what I have learned in my studio will stay with me. I will hold the knowing that when I create, I connect to all of myself and I give myself these two big gifts — the gift of awareness, and the gift of using and releasing the pain in my heart as I make it visible. 

Some people do this when they create with words. Some do it with dance. Some do it with music. Some do it with food, or fabrics, or sculpting, or building, or transforming their gardens, or enlightening those around them. Some turn to bright color and uplifting sounds and forms. Some need to be with their pain.

All who create give themselves a tremendous gift. 

I invite you explore this territory. 

I am here to support you.

The Thriving Now page on my website has a growing list of resources that can  can help you do just that — thrive. The tools and ideas have been shared in my ongoing, weekly Zoom calls.  

My next Creating Our Way Forward Zoom call will be on Saturday, May 2 at 3:00pm eastern. Women from all over the country have been coming to connect, share, learn new ways to navigate in these challenging times, and stay inspired. 

There’s a link to register for the call on the Thriving Now page, or you can register here for the call.

If you want some one-on-one support, I have 1 more spot on my calendar for this week for free 30-minute Creating My Way coaching calls, and 2 spots are available next week. Access my calendar to schedule a session.*

And, for deeper support — to blast through a personal or business matter you are facing — I have created special Create Your Way Forward Sprint Sessions. This deeply focused support can propel you forward, on an issue that you want to address now. I’d be glad to share the details with you. 

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Our next opportunity to learn

As we are finding our way week by week, things shift. Some days are better than others for most of us. You may be experiencing some gradual adjustments.

We have many opportunities to learn, to pay attention, and to grow in this extraordinary time. 

Last week, I wrote about how important it is to attend to your emotions. If you missed that, check out the three steps I shared to do just that.

Today, I am focused on another key lesson we can learn now. It will support you as you move through this time of interruption, and will have a great impact for a lifetime of wellbeing.

Make great self-care your new normal 

Some of us are much better at creating time and space for self-care than others.

I have clients who are working out daily, or taking long walks rain or shine. (That's a work in progress for me!) Some are super-focused on healthy eating, while others are struggling to stay away from snacking on empty carbs. Some are feeling non-stop stress, and others find their emotions bouncing up and down.

Wherever you are on the continuum, consider these ways you can take good care of yourself. 

1. Put yourself on the calendar

Many of us talk a good game. We tell ourselves we’ll meditate every day, or take the time to cook healthy food, or exercise every morning. More often than not, we start strong for a couple days and then let things slide.

Setting an intention in our heads is one thing.

Making a date with yourself — complete with a block of non-negotiable time on your calendar — takes your intention to the next level.

It’s also helpful to tell someone what you intend to do. Yes, speak it out loud.

Perhaps that person will partner with you. You might ask them for support, so you can be accountable.

Acknowledge yourself for taking this first meaningful step!

2. Choose your self-care focus

There are so many ways you can consider bringing a bigger focus on self-care into your daily life. The key is to start with one or two things that feel most appealing to you. Consider these categories:

Sleep  Are you getting enough sleep? Is the quality of your sleep suffering? How can you adjust your bedtime routine so you ease into sleep and rest well?

Food  What will help you feel your best? More fresh produce? Learning to cook new things? Setting clear times for meals and healthy snacks?

Meditation  You may want to try using an app with guided meditations. You could try writing in a journal when you wake up each morning. Or, simply spend just a few quiet minutes each day sitting and breathing deeply.

Exercise  Do you love to walk? Do you want or need to do weight-training? Is yoga your go-to, or would you like to try it out? 

Time in nature  Spending time outdoors has huge benefits, whether you dig in a garden, walk in the woods, or just stroll down the street and notice the blooms on nearby trees.

Pampering yourself  Take time to soak in a tub, savor a delicious cup of tea, take an online museum tour, try making a soothing face mask, or light candles and listen to music. Any way you can give yourself a treat is great!

Creating  You knew I would include this, right? Bringing a favorite creative activity into your life on a regular basis is an excellent way to practice self-care. Sewing or needle-work, drawing, crafting, singing, playing an instrument, writing poetry, cooking, painting, gardening — they are all wonderful ways to create and express yourself. And try creating with others, as a way to care for yourself. Who can you invite for an art date, or to sing with you?

What other ideas can you think of to bring more self-care into your life?

3. Add in a new self-care practice, or change things up

Have fun with this. Experiment and see what you most enjoy, and what has the biggest benefit to you. 

Maybe you’ll have a regular weekend self-care ritual that is different from what you choose to do Monday through Friday.  

Whatever you choose, honor yourself for your commitment to a self-care practice.

And if you want to explore additional resources to help you now, check out my Thriving Now page. It includes many ways you can do just that — thrive!  

All of the things on my growing list are tools that I and others have shared in my weekly Zoom calls.  

I am here to support you.

My next Creating Our Way Forward Zoom call will be on Saturday, April 25. Join me for this 8th weekend call. Women from all over the country have been coming to connect, share, learn new ways to navigate in these challenging times, and stay inspired. 

There’s a link to register for the call on the Thriving Now page, or you can register here for the call.

If you want some one-on-one support, I have opened 2 more spots on my calendar for this week for free 30-minute Creating My Way coaching calls. Access my calendar to schedule a session.

And, for deeper support — to blast through a personal or business matter you are facing — I have created special Create Your Way Forward Sprint Sessions. This kind of deeply focused support can propel you forward, on an issue that you want to address now. I’d be glad to share the details with you. 

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

What we can learn now

Week after week, we are all finding our way through this crisis.

Our experiences vary, of course, but this is not an easy time for any of us. Even those most fortunate — to have work, to be safe, to be healthy — struggle with uncertainty, fears, new demands and concerns that weigh on them. Those less fortunate have a far heavier burden.

As we are all challenged, we also have opportunities to learn, to take stock, to pay attention, and to grow.

Where to begin? I advocate for self care and many other important ways to support yourself, but today I want to share this fruitful starting place:

Attend to your emotions 

The difficult emotions we carry have weight. You may feel a heaviness on your shoulders or tightness in your chest. Your belly may be tender. Your jaw may tend to clench and your sleep is likely to be disrupted.

Most of us are accustomed to ignoring these signs, or pushing emotions like these aside as we rush through the demands of everyday life. 

You may be doing that now, or you may be in a slower mode and facing troubling emotion — lots of it — square in the eye. 

I’m happy to tell you that there are ways to loosen the grip of troubling emotions. You can also expand positive emotions. When you learn how, your burden will be eased.

1. Get clear

Start by writing down what you are feeling — all of it. 

What are you afraid of? What’s annoying you? Who are you lonely for? What do you miss the most? What’s making you angry?

And, what is making you happy? What are good things in your life now? What has surprised you? What do you look forward to? What do you want more of?

You won’t feel every emotion on your list every day, but having written all of it, you will be clearer and can move ahead.

2. Use your emotions as fuel 

Choose an emotion on your list that you want to clear. It could be worry, or sadness, or frustration.

Next, choose a way to create, where that emotion can be your focus, or fuel. Try as many of these as appeal to you. 

Draw — Aim to make the ugliest drawing you can to express your fear, or anger, or worry. You might draw a monster who embodies that emotion. You can fill the page with words you long to shout, big and small and overlapping. Cover the paper edge to edge, using crayons or pastels or markers. Put lots of energy into it! And feel the release.

Dance — Turn up the volume on any kind of music (loud and aggressive, opera, Motown, ballads) and move. Let you body respond and release, for as long as you want. Let the emotion move through you and out.

Write — You might compose a poem, write a letter to your emotion, invent a story, or simply free-write in a journal. Let anything show up on your page as you express your emotion. Then tuck the writing away and breathe in the space you created.

Dig in the garden — Getting outside is great, but even indoor gardening is a way you can work through emotion and feel both satisfied and uplifted.

Cook — Use emotion to hack through vegetable prep, and then aim to create something surprising with the ingredients. Delight yourself as you experiment.

You can also choose an emotion on your list that you want to enhance.You can activate more of your good emotions using the same techniques listed above! Draw, dance, write, spend time in your garden or cook to expand the emotions that fill your heart, for more of that goodness!

3. Repeat as often as you need and want

Create any time there's emotion building that needs to be processed and transformed, or that you want to enhance. Experiment and see what works best for you, and explore other ways to create using emotion as fuel. 

Maybe working with your hands is special, and you enjoy needlework or crafts. Maybe you love to putter in a workshop and make or repair things. Maybe you’ll imagine starting a huge painting, that you can keep changing each time you need a place to process emotion. Maybe you will choose your camera as a creative tool to capture images that express your troubling emotion, to document this time of separation, or to lift your spirits.

Adding a small amount of creative expression each day (that you can tuck in even when life gets very busy) will improve your wellbeing. 

This is one big way you can move into what will come after the pandemic stronger, more resilient, and better positioned to create a bright future.

If you want to explore a long list of resources to help you now, I have one for you on my website. Thriving Now includes many ways you can do just that — thrive!  

All of the things on the list are tools that I and others have shared in my weekly Zoom calls. They will help you during this unique time, and long after we have moved through it. 

I am here to support you.

My next Creating Our Way Forward Zoom call will be on Saturday, April 18. Join me for this 7th weekend call, when women from all over the country will again come together to connect, share, learn new ways to navigate in these challenging times, and stay inspired. There’s a link to register for the call on the Thriving Now page, or you can register here for the call.

If you want some one-on-one support, I have opened 2 more spots on my calendar for this week for free 30-minute Creating My Way coaching calls. Access my calendar to schedule a session.

And, for deeper support, to blast through a personal or business matter you are facing, I have created special Create Your Way Forward Sprint Sessions. This kind of deeply focused support can propel you forward now, on an issue that you want to address. I’d be glad to share the details with you. 

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.