What I learned this year — and how you can learn from me

Saturday was the one year anniversary of the day my book launched — Live Big: A Manifesto for a Creative Live has celebrated its first year in the world!

January 30 is a clear marker in time for me, and it’s exciting to recall all that's happened in the year related to publishing and introducing my book.

We have all thought a lot about the unexpected impact of the pandemic in 2020, something I could not imagine lay ahead on the day of the launch. I had so many plans that fell away or changed when we went into lockdown.

Many of us have have focused on recalling the challenges of 2020. There certainly were lots of them, and we have a long road ahead to be sure. And yet, we can always chose the filter for our reflections.

When I reflect on the first year LIVE BIG has been in the world I feel enormous gratitude.

I am grateful for everything I learned on my journey of writing and publishing the book. (In fact, I could write another book about that journey!) Most of all, I appreciate the steep learning curve I climbed and that I did not give up, even when things got complicated and frustrating.

I am grateful for the amazing reviews that I reached out and requested, and were written for the book in advance.

I am grateful for, and proud of, how I stepped into being visible in a bigger way, overcoming the discomfort of doing Facebook Lives, then hosting a live 3-hour launch party. I am also proud about the speaking and podcast appearances I now feel at ease doing, but which were a stretch back in early 2020.

I am grateful that I sought out and received wonderful help and support from many special people, without whom this project and the launch would have been far different.

I am grateful that I created new and exciting ways to share the story of the book, when book signings and personal appearances were not possible.

Most of all, I am grateful for the many readers who have not only shared their enthusiasm for the book, many in 5-star Amazon reviews and in notes to me (one included the photo above!), they also gifted the book to friends, family members and clients. That is a huge honor and it fills my heart with joy.

What can you look back on with gratitude — and how can you carry that energy into 2021?

We can all find evidence of ways we learned, responded and created in new ways in 2020 that can inspire us now.

As we step into this second month of the year, what lessons learned, what insights and appreciations can you take note of to build on, to make this year one you can look back on with pride and gratitude?

Why not take some time for reflection? Make notes of all the things for which you feel grateful.

If there are big things, like a major project you worked on or completed, break down all the parts that you can appreciate, and savor each one.

And be sure you note the small things from last year — like setting a good boundary, or making more time for self-care, or having the courage to have an important conversation that was on your mind, or responding to new challenges with fresh ideas. Often what we think of as small things have enormous importance, so don’t overlook or minimize any of the small things.

When you leverage the energy of gratitude remarkable things can happen.

I lived a long time without the insights I share with you each week. Learning about and bringing gratitude into my life in a focused way is one great asset I now make a focus each day.

Your path to living a bigger, happier, more satisfying life does not need to be as steep or take as long as my path took me.

And you don’t need to figure it out alone.

I am happiest when I help other women to get past their limitations, learn to bring great tools into their lives, and step into truly living big. Let’s have a conversation about what's happening in your life, the dreams and desires in your heart, and how you can get past what limits you to live the life you want.

I invite you to book a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me, or email me directly and we’ll make a date to talk.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

3 great ways to keep your spirits high

Wow, we’re in the last week of January already! Does it feel like time is flying by for you? Or are the days dragging along, as we continue to live through the pandemic and the ways it imposes limitations and challenges?

So much depends on the frame of mind we hold, even in the most trying times.

Try these 3 ways to keep your spirits from flagging

1. Create space for YOU

In my work with accomplished women I frequently hear about the stresses of work (and often parenting, too) that eclipse space for self-care and the pursuit of what brings them joy. (And there are plenty of men who struggle with this, as well.)

I get it. There’s a lot to do. There are obligations to fulfill, and people who need us, and...

When we deplete ourselves, we cannot do the best for anyone else. We cannot do our best work, either.

Our brains, bodies and spirits need a break!

We give best when we give from a full cup. Why not pause now, to think about a few ways you can fill your own cup?

2. Get clear about what matters to you

When you know your values, you have guideposts for what you say “Yes” to and what you choose not to do. It makes it easier to set good boundaries, and stop being a people-pleaser (if you are among the countless people-pleasers in the world).

By making better choices, that are aligned with your clear values, your day-to-day happiness and well-being will expand.

Why not think about the key values that matter most to you?

3. Adopt an abundant mindset to open your heart

When we believe in an abundant universe — by turning away from a mindset of scarcity — everything gets better in your life.

I know that this idea may may not be easy for many people to grasp. We live in a fear-driven culture, and most of us grew up in environments that were far from focused on abundance.

But I have seen what happens when I adopted this way of thinking and being in the world, and I see it all the time in the lives of my clients.

When we believe in abundance we share with ease, and we experience a feedback loop of generosity and kindness.

When we expect goodness, by shifting negative thoughts into positive ones and changing our self-talk, our energy changes. Our hearts are open. We feel more love and are fueled by love. People feel great being around us. Good things start happening more often.

And the positive ripple effects grow, too!

How can you try to shift into expecting the best in your day today?

I have tools that can help

I have a free guide called Creating Space for YOU: Easy Small Changes that Can Make a BIG IMPACT, that you can download here. It includes ideas for seemingly simple, doable changes that will do just what the title says — have a big impact on your life and well-being!

Let me know which of the practices you decide to try — and how they help you.

(Note, when you download the guide you’ll be added to my email list — but if you are already on the list and enter the same email address, you won’t get double emails.)

I also help my clients identify their values, and learn to create a more abundant mindset, so that they have more joy and ease in their lives. The impact helps them in remarkable ways.

If you want to talk about how to bolster your well-being in any (or all) of these ways, let’s talk. Email me and we’ll make a date for a Live Big Breakthrough Call.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

The perfect week for combining love + creativity

Here we are — the big holiday week of the year has arrived, and it’s also the week we celebrate the Winter Solstice.

As I do not celebrate Christmas, I enjoy seeing the pleasure so many friends experience on this holiday. And I am always glad to rejoice in celebrating the Solstice. While December 21st was the shortest, darkest day of the year, we now begin to enjoy a bit more daylight each day. This always lifts my spirits as we move into a new year.

And what a year this has been. I feel confident saying this is a year we will all remember, and we are all ready to bid adieu.

Now, more than any year in memory, we all need an abundance of light and love!

Make this a week to slow down, relax, and consciously welcome love

Even though we cannot be with friends and family in person as we long to, there are many ways to create connection and share love.

We must be extra-careful to stay safe and keep others safe. But that does not mean we need to feel apart in our hearts.

What new ways of connecting can you create now, that will hold meaning for you and those about whom you care?

While many of us feel “zoomed out” by work meetings, Zoom has proven to be a great way to share a meal, play a game, meet with family members at great distances to laugh together, and do creative projects (from my now-virtual monthly IgNight Creative Evenings to my weekly art-making dates with my grandson).

There are countless ways to create meaningful and memorable connections.

No matter what is happening around us and for us, we always have the power to create

Some of us have moved through the months of the pandemic with more ease than others. Many have suffered terribly. We have all been challenged — and changed.

And, as always, some people in similar situations fair better than others. Those that do best are those who are able to find the most positive frame of mind and the most positive path to pursue.

This is what I call creating our way forward

When things get tough, a creator looks for possibilities that are not obvious.

A creator considers new ways of responding. This can mean new ways of getting support, or new ways of coping with stress — whether it’s through creative expression, by reaching out, by ramping up self-care, by getting out in nature, or anything else. By choosing to create each next step with intention, rather than reacting, amazing things are possible.

A creator tries and tests new approaches. It might be for managing day-to-day life, for running a business or bringing in new streams of income, for setting up ways family members can all cohabit and do their work and learning, or anything else.

A creator keeps an open mind and stays curious. When you ask yourself, “What’s possible?” you are always considering how to find the best path forward.

A creator also looks for wonder and tunes in to gratitude every day.

Approaching your life this way keeps the heart open. When you combine an open heart and an open mind new possibilities show up.

Love + Creativity make a powerful combination

I invite you to bring love and light into your life in as many ways as you can dream up.

All that dreaming is connected to your creative power. You have a bottomless well of creativity. You cannot run out of it, so use it with abandon!

When you are focused on love, and you create with intention, fear stays at bay and joy increases. And who doesn’t want a tremendously joy-filled holiday season?

Start now, and it will be easy to carry this beautiful energy into the new year.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

How to stay steady in a peak emotional time

If you feel like most people I know, the last days and weeks have been incredibly challenging. On top of concerns about increasing COVID cases, extreme weather, and escalating political tension, election day — tomorrow — is filling most of us with intense emotion.

It feels to me like being in a state of suspended animation. Many people describe it as a collective holding of breath.

And holding your breath for any extended period of time — either physically or metaphorically — is never a good idea.

Why?

When you hold your breath for more than a short time, a cascade of problematic physical responses result. You decrease oxygen flow to the brain, your heart rate drops, CO₂ and other dangerous gases build up in your blood, and none of that is healthy.

And when you feel as though you are holding your breath emotionally, you put yourself in a heightened state of anxiety. Anxiety impacts your mood, and it also impacts your body. Your heart may pound, you may develop headaches, experience GI problems, have trouble sleeping, and more.

Today, and in the days to come, you can support yourself to stay emotionally steady with these 3 practices.

1. Start breathing with intention

Yes, your breath is a tool that can help you in many ways. When you breathe deeply and slowly, the stress responses in your body are reduced.

Sit quietly for a minute or two — or a bit longer. Breathe in fully, all the way into your belly. Pause a moment and then exhale very slowly. As few as three long slow belly breaths like this will help.

As you breathe this way, you will feel a gentle release of tension. Let your shoulders drop and relax. Aim to bring that softness into all the muscles in your body — from the top of your head, to your jaw and neck, and down to your toes.

Repeat breathing breaks like this often.

2. Move your body

Choose a way that appeals to you to get yourself in motion.

If you are a runner, or love yoga, those are great ways to get moving. But there are very simple ways that work well, too.

In just five to 10 minutes you can stretch and shake out your body. Get some music on and dance. Or take a brisk walk around the block.

Getting the blood flowing like this releases natural chemicals that enhance your sense of well-being.

3. Get creative

When you start creating you have a great outlet for anxiety or other difficult emotions.

You can write a poem or pour your thoughts out in a journal. Try using color and draw or paint. You might cook, play music, dance, sing, garden, build something, knit, or create in any way you can think of.

Why not invite someone to create with you? Is there someone you live with who would enjoy sharing some creative time mid-day? Or take a short creative break on Zoom with a friend or a small group.

Creating is a remarkable effective way to unload big emotion, feel more energy and maybe even feel joy.

Whatever happens in the world around us, we need to be our best selves.

We all need to show up, we all need to go on. We need to bring our best selves to everything we do.

Start with you.

When you are on steady footing, you will be a better leader to everyone around you.

You will be a better partner and friend, a better parent, a better colleague, and better at the work you do in the world. Your work matters now as much or more than ever.

We have all lived through fraught times before. We can move forward in the face of challenges.

On this important day remember that we all need to keep leading.

That’s how we move into a better future.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Have you thought about the choices you are making?

Welcome to October! I am feeling joy and gratitude when I am in the splendor of nature in all its glory. Color fills my view each time I step outside, and my heart swells!

This upbeat feeling is especially appreciated as the emotional intensity in the world around us seems to be escalating daily. How can we find, and hold, energy that lights us up, that keeps us grounded, rather than being pulled into the chaotic energy that abounds? 

Your choices impact your outlook

You see what you look for

Have you stopped to consider where you tend to put your attention? When you look for beauty (of any kind) you see more of it. And the more you look for, the more you see, the happier it makes you.

This works in much the same way when you choose to listen to uplifting stories or music, or choose to create meals with colors and aromas and flavors that especially delight you.

You can choose with whom to spend time

Think about the people you choose to be with and the kinds of conversations you choose to have. These choices have a huge impact on the way you feel and the way you see the world.

We all know people who bring us down. Their negativity can pull you in and be hard to shake. If someone like that is a family member with whom you want to be in contact, limit the exposure — or better yet, try and steer conversations in a positive direction.

Focus on connecting to people who lift you up. Who can you think of who sees the world as a place filled with inspiring stories and possibilities, even in hard times?

You can say “No” to news overload

Just as we can focus on interacting with people who lift our spirits and inspire a positive outlook, we can limit the time we spend listening to, watching and reading the news.

We can also carefully choose sources for news that are free of hype and bias. 

If you have not yet tried going on a “news diet” it may feel like a challenge. More and more people are finding this to be a great way to keep themselves positively focused.

You get to make new choices

Why not try some of these ideas and see what happens?

• If you have been cooped up inside, spend more time outside.

• If you have been feeling low, read something inspiring, watch a great TED talk, listen to a fascinating podcast, or dive into a creative project and express yourself.

• If online TV binges have made you feel sluggish, get curious about something new. Read about it, find demo videos, or give a new technique a try. (Maybe you will take up a new craft, cook a new cuisine, learn to build something, plant bulbs, study a period of history, pick up an instrument you haven’t touched in ages...)

• If you feel lonely or isolated, look for ways to make virtual connections or find like-minded communities of people online.

• If you are concerned about the election and the world around you, take action. You might volunteer for a campaign or to support voting rights. You can register to be on the next Creators of Change call. There are many incredible ways to get involved, rather than letting distress bring you down.

What choices will you make today? 

No matter the externalities, you always get to choose the way you see the world, and the way you can live through each day.

Making thoughtful choices aimed at supporting a positive frame of mind will impact everything in your life.

Leave a comment or email me and let me know how your choices are making a difference.

And if you want to talk about how to usher meaningful change into your life, we can make a date for a Live Big Breakthrough Call. I will help you gain clarity and insights about what is in the way of you stepping into the big life you yearn to make your reality.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

How we can move through this time of change

September is a time for new beginnings of all kinds. Even if you were not among those fortunate to have been able to get away this summer, or if life feels like a long string of similar days, there’s a shift that most of us feel after Labor Day.

Interconnected themes and inspiration have been showing up for me recently, that I am glad to share. 

7 things I am thinking about in this time of transition

1. We can choose optimism or pessimism. 

In his sermon on Rosh Hashana (the Jewish holiday to welcome the Jewish new year), our rabbi talked about optimism and pessimism. He pointed out that both can exist simultaneously, and that both can be motivators to take action. I would add that we always get to choose the frame for how we want to look at the world.

2. A broken heart can fuel passion. 

I heard the heartbreaking news about Ruth Bader Ginsberg’s death just after our Rosh Hashana evening service ended on Friday night. RBG was a giant of a woman who was fearlessly and passionately committed to work for equality and justice. We have the opportunity, and responsibility, to continue the work she advanced with so much grace, talent, tenacity and determination.

3. We have agency and we can take action. 

It’s easy to fall into despair when there are so many big issues on our minds. Regardless of the frame we chose as motivation (optimism or pessimism), when we think about what great people like Ruth Bader Ginsberg were able to accomplish, we can step up and take action to make this a better world. While few of us will have an opportunity like sitting on the Supreme Court, all of us can take action. History offers us many examples about how the combined efforts of great numbers of people have brought meaningful change to the world. 

4. When you look for it, you can find inspiration. 

I heard Brené Brown’s Unlocking Us podcast with Sonya Renee Taylor yesterday, talking about the book The Body is Not an Apology: The Power of Radical Self-Love. The conversation they had about this book was mind-expanding. Taylor takes the concept of self-love, that I teach in my work, to remarkable new heights. Opportunities to hear conversations like this can change the frame through which we see and understand the world, and ourselves. 

5. We can create inspiration. 

At my monthly IgNight Creative Evening on Thursday, when we created together on Zoom, the energy was electric. The theme for the evening was “reframing.” We expressed in words, we drew abstract concepts, and we dove into a great way to explore with color. We played and experimented. We shared and inspired one another. The uplifting spirit of the evening made me think about the opportunities we have to bring light and fun into many parts of our lives.

6. There is great power in community. 

The pandemic made it impossible to be with my community for services on Friday and Saturday. It made it impossible to be with family and friends after my mother’s death last month. It made it impossible to have IgNight in my studio. It has made it impossible to meet in person with colleagues and clients. And yet, we have been connected, and we’ve shared in community in new ways. And while some of what we miss when not in the same room is a loss, we have had new benefits. We can now connect with people who are located well beyond what would be possible in person. And the connections are deep and satisfying, even when we only see each other on a screen.

7. The power of love is vast.

Love is the thread that connects and inspires everything in my life. I believe that when we lead with love, when we look at the world through the lens of love, when we take action fueled by love, and when we bring love into everything we do, we live our biggest and best lives. 

How are you moving through this time of change?

What are you seeing and experiencing now? Are you feeling optimistic or pessimistic? Are you inspired to take action in your life? Are you motivated to impact something in the world? 

Drop me a note or leave a comment to let me know.

And if you want to talk about how to bring new inspiration into your life, I invite you to schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me. 

I would be delighted to help you gain insight and clarity about what may be hampering you or changes you are seeking to make, and how you can bring new inspiration and intentional change into your life. 

I look forward to hearing from you.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Use these 3 steps to move from despair to inspiration

Have you stopped to consider that there is nearly always more than one way to look at things?

I have become even more alert to the possibilities of looking at things through a different lens recently, and it has shifted so much for me.

Examples of issues we can look at in new ways, that quickly come to mind, relate to many big tensions in the world around us.

The ongoing pandemic, the political climate as the election nears, deep concerns about environmental change as we see storms and fires fiercer than ever before, and a renewed focus on demanding the end to social and racial injustice are some of the big challenges.

For many people, the sense of overwhelm is huge. And it’s exhausting. 

It’s absolutely normal to feel concerned about such important matters, but there are options and opportunities to rise above the despair.

We get to chose the way we look at things,
and we can chose the way we respond

When we are able to stay calm and clear-headed, we think better. This allows us to stop being reactive. And from that calmer starting point, we can think positively.

We can make better decisions.

When we avoid spinning into despair, the choices we are able to make for what to do next can be more meaningful, and they can have more impact.

As a glass-half-full person, I realize I have an advantage. But anyone can decide to chose the lens through which to look at things.

Here is how you can make a positive shift.

1. Create the best environment for your wellbeing

We create our experiences, and we create our environment.

Things to delete

News cycles and social media feeds can be toxic. They are built to bombard us with sensationalized information and hype.

I am keen to be informed, but I (and many others) have found that going on a “news diet” has worked wonders. A check-in with a source you trust, once or twice a day, is more than enough to keep up with current happenings.

And, limiting social media “rabbit-hole” excursions not only keeps overwhelm down, it gives you the gift of precious time.

Consider, too, the conversations you choose to have. You can establish boundaries with those who focus only on the negative, or worse yet, rant.

Filter out stressful influences like these for a few days and see what happens.

Things to add

We find what we look for and and what we focus on. And, the universe connects us to where we bring our attention, as well.

Here’s a great example.

While writing this article, I took a short break and my husband mentioned that he’d just read a great opinion piece that he thought I would find interesting. (He had no idea that I was writing on this topic!) 

The remarkable New York Times opinion piece, titled, The Outrage Diet, is chock full of inspiring ideas about what to do to limit the impact of all of the fury that is damaging people’s health and wellbeing. 

You can also actively seek out uplifting people and resources. Who do you know who is always inspiring you, or impressing you with fresh and uplifting ideas? What podcasts or writers bring you positive and informative perspectives? 

Brené Brown’s books and her new podcast, Unlocking Us, and Krista Tippett’s On Being site and podcasts, come quickly to mind. I find myself grateful when I choose resources like these.

You may also want to change what you read and watch for entertainment. Choose what will fill you with uplifting energy and inspiration.

And, I always advocate for adding creativity into your life. The more creativity (of any kind) you engage in, the more easily you can bring creative thinking to everything you do.

Which leads to my next recommendation:

2. Reframe whenever possible

If you saw the email I sent on Sunday about my weekly Creators of Change calls, you saw that I shared a remarkable and inspiring reframe for how to view the current political climate, and how we can move forward.

I shared the work of Valerie Kaur, whose TED talk (and the quote I had pulled from it) shifted my view in a dramatic way.

Valerie Kaur’s take on the way we can see — and impact — the world reminded me of another example I heard from a great coach of mine, that goes like this.

If you entered a room and saw a woman in the late stages of labor, you might declare, “There’s a woman in crisis in here!” But if you knew it was a birthing room, you would say, “There’s a woman in labor here.” Same woman, same event, and a different way of relating to and thinking about what you were seeing.

We have many opportunities to reframe. When we consider what is possible, rather than focusing only on what is problematic, we open our minds. We can see positive perspectives and think about positive things to do, rather than feeling stuck in despair.

3. Take action and see things improve

Action is the step that takes you from the starting point of seeing through a new lens to great outcomes.

The New York Times Opinion piece I recommended is chock full of excellent examples of action you can take when you feel overcome by outrage or despair.

Finding action to take to address a concern or improve a troubling situation — even in a small way — is empowering. 

The action can be to dive in and learn more, to reach out to someone, to make a donation, to start a new conversation, to share your ideas (like writing an opinion piece or blog post), and more. Commitment to making things better starts with one small action, and then staying in action.

I also recommend you check out this excellent article, that’s filled with creative ideas for how we can educate high school students in the age of COVID. This is an example of looking at an urgent issue through a new lens. And by adding creative thinking, and suggesting new action, the author has not only enriched us with his great ideas, he may positively impact the lives of vast numbers of students and teachers.

How will you see new possibilities?

What one small change can you make today to create a more positive environment and start seeing challenges in a new light? How can you bring fresh, creative thinking to something on your mind? What action can you take?

If you want to talk about how to bring these suggestions into your life, I invite you to schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me.

I would be delighted to help you gain insight and clarity about changes you are seeking to make, and how you can live a more empowered life. 

I look forward to hearing from you.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

How to stay grounded when stress shows up

All of us have ups and downs. But in the times we have been living through, many of us find ourselves dealing with stress more frequently than in the pre-COVID era, or find ourselves stressed in response to situations that never existed before.

And, stress is not to be taken lightly or blithely brushed aside.

How stress takes a toll

When we are stressed, our bodies release hormones that increase heart rate and breathing. Strained respiratory systems can lead to asthma and other difficulties.

Stress causes tension that can be mild to debilitating. Painful neck and shoulder muscles are common, as are headaches — that range in severity.

Stress can influence our diets, causing cascading problems like acid reflux and other GI disturbances. 

And then there’s the emotional toll of stress, ranging from anxiety to fatigue to overwhelm to depression.

Further, the more stress we have, and the longer it persists, the greater the negative impact it has on or lives.

We do have power, even in stressful circumstances

Even when things feel really hard — and even when we cannot control much that we used to be able to control — we always have choices.

And choosing deliberately can ground you in ways you may not realize is possible.

Follow these 3 steps and see what happens.

1. Choose your frame of mind

If you feel anxiety rising, choose to quiet your body and your mind. Sit and breathe for several minutes, or meditate. Try some 4x4 box breathing or butterfly tapping — that I describe on the Thriving Now page on my site, where you will find many other good resources, too.

You may also want to release emotions by creating.

A client recently said that having gained new insights in our work about the power of creativity to cope with emotion, she made a vivid drawing of the anxiety she felt and that help her to release it.

Another client said that enrolling in a dance class months ago has turned out to be one of her best decisions. She is amazed at how it has helped her cope in challenging times.

By calming your nervous system and releasing unwanted emotions, you will feel better in the moment, and you will set yourself up for better outcomes.

2. Ask yourself good questions.

We are often faced with matters that feel so big, with so many unknowns, that we get paralyzed.

Now that you've gotten calm and centered, try this. 

Get totally focused on the present, and your options and opportunities. Ask yourself questions like these:

• What is possible?

• What is possible that I never considered?

• What if it’s possible that...?

• What can I create that may sound crazy?

• What wild idea could be the germ of a new way forward?

3. Create your next best step, and the one after it.

When you allow yourself to decide on just your next best step, you take a lot of pressure off of yourself.

Simply make your next best decision. Create one next step. Then chose the next step to take that is right for you.

This is a wonderful way for you to own your power.

You can be a creator in each moment.

And as you create, you are able to be more grounded, rather than pulled into stress.

Where will this process take you?

I would love to hear about the ways these ideas help you to to stand in your power, master your mindset and make forward strides in your life, even when the circumstances around you are tough. 

This is how you can create your life one step at a time — how you create your future. 

If you would like to talk about the future you want to create, and how to get there, I invite you to schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me.

I’ll help you gain insight and clarity about what you want, the changes you are seeking to make, and what may be limiting you. 

I look forward to hearing from you.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

How to make 1 life-changing change

Most of us go through familiar motions each day. After all, as humans we are creatures of habit and we don’t give much thought to our ingrained patterns. 

Some of our habits are fine, and many may be terrific. But most people who pause to think about it, realize that there are some ways they live day by day that are dissatisfying, if not problematic.

For some, the tiny device they carry all day is a huge distraction, and for many it serves as a seductive way to avoid doing things they want, or mean, or need to do. (There are variations on this theme, too, like indulging in Netflix binges, or scrubbing at the grout in the shower.)

For some, living in overdrive is habitual and exhaustion is the norm. They cannot remember how to get quiet and relax.

For others, worry is a habit.

Some overeat or drink as a way to numb themselves when they feel discomfort.

Some deplete themselves by always taking care of, and trying to please, everyone around them.

You can choose to cultivate new ways of being

You may be familiar with the idea of committing to a “practice” in your life. If not, you may have heard people refer to their yoga practice, or a meditation practice, or a self-care practice, or some other kind of practice.

Starting a practice is an excellent way to change habits that hinder you.

When I first heard the term “practice” years back, I found it curious — and I thought it was a bit pretentious. I now understand the concept of having a practice, and how meaningful and helpful it is.

When I decided to attend yoga classes, and found a teacher and classmates that felt like “home” for me, I began to understand what it means to have a practice in your life. I regularly attended classes and found yoga to be an important part of my life.

When you choose to adopt a practice, you commit to doing something new or different with ongoing focus and regularity.

What it looks like to adopt a practice

Yoga is a good form of exercise, but yoga is really about more than simply mastering physical poses. By choosing to have a yoga practice, you commit. Each time you get on the mat you learn more about how your body works, you slowly cultivate balance, you experience more flexibility and strength, you breath with intention. And as you do all of that, you become fully present to your body. You experience what it feels like to empty your mind and be only in the present.

You do not gain all of these benefits in a week. It is when you sustain a yoga practice that the benefits grow and become greater over time.

Adopting a sustained practice of any kind works the same way.

Your new practice — which can be establishing new guidelines for interacting with your smartphone, or new ways of cooking and eating, or creating a schedule for your days that matches your peak energy periods, or building regular movement into your life — will impact the way you show up in your life.

It will help you to be the person you want to be.

Who you want to be to live your best life?

Why not stop and consider who you want to be, and who you need to be, to live the life you truly yearn for? Asking yourself may help you identify a range of ways you want to commit to bringing new practices into your life.

You may want to learn to slow down and be still — and enjoy that stillness.

You may want to start living in the present moment, rather than replaying old experiences, reliving regrets, or pushing your thoughts out to what-ifs in the future.

You may want to feel more free and willing to experiment, play and try new ideas, rather than holding back until you feel certain of outcomes.

You may want to dive into an interest that you’ve been drawn to but have not pursued, for fear you won’t be good enough, or that others might criticize you.

Use these 3 steps to get started

A word of caution: Don’t slip into the trap of making lots of changes at once. That’s never wise. And, avoid getting overwhelmed by ruminating over all the possibilities for what one change to make.

These steps can guide your process:

1. Start by asking yourself this question:

What one new way of being do I feel most eager to adopt now?

Let your intuition chime in here, and trust it. You do not need to make a “perfect” choice — simply make a choice!

2. Next, consider what small new practice you can commit to that will help you to adopt that new way of being.

Find some uninterrupted time and brainstorm about this. (The Discovery Dozen™ exercise, that I teach in my book, can be a great resource for exploring possibilities.)

Having generated a list of ideas, what feels the most appealing? Aim to create a small new practice that you believe you can commit to.

3. Now it’s time to put the new practice into action.

Get started! Make adjustments if you find that something does not work so well, or shift to new variations if needed, but keep going.

Once you have landed on the way your new practice works for you, and you stay with it (even if it takes some getting used to at first), you will be on your way to becoming the person you want to be now.

And be sure to acknowledge and celebrate yourself after taking each of these steps. 

What’s next?

When you have a new practice comfortably in place, you will find that you can consider adding another new practice.

This is how we grow and expand in our lives.

This is how you can live big.

If you would like to talk about the future you want to create, and who you need to become to create that life, I invite you to schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me.

I’ll help you gain insight and clarity about what you want, what changes you are seeking to make, and what may be limiting you. 

I look forward to hearing from you.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

How to live big each day

We are starting to see small shifts happening around us. Things are “opening up” in different ways in various places, and at different paces. 

How are you being impacted now?

What do you foresee changing for you?

As you consider these questions, consider that each day — no matter where you live and what your circumstances — you can ask yourself two more questions. They that will help you make the most of your day, and the most of your life!

Two powerful questions to ask yourself each day

If you have my book, Live Big: A Manifesto for a Creative Life, you know that it is divided into two sections. The first 10 chapters are about the being of living big. The other 10 chapters are about the doing of living big.

Why?

Because we are human beings, and we spend way more time doing, than being. And living big starts with our state of being.

Question 1: “Who do I need to be today?”

When you consider who you need to be to step into your day and have it be the best day possible, you orient yourself to the way you want to live your day.

For example, if you have been feeling sluggish, or stuck, you may want to feel more free and get your spirit soaring.

Or, if you have been frantically trying to keep up with work, childcare, and everyday tasks that drain you, you may need to slow down and find stillness, to allow space for reflection, ease, and self-care.

Other possibilities for the focus you may want to bring to your state of being include: living in the present, loving more, being true to your heart, living without fear, aligning with your purpose, cultivating patience, being grateful, and seeing wonder around you.

Each of these will have a meaningful impact on your well-being.

Question 2: “What do I most need to do today?”

In addition to your state of being, focus on the action you want to take, and how you will do it. That’s where the doing of living big can be considered.

You may realize that you will benefit from listening more clearly for the signals from your intuition.

You may decide that actively creating will charge your imagination and provide you with energy that will be a game-changer. 

Today may be the day for you to speak your truth, or tap more of your passion, or live boldly — even in a quiet way.

Or, it may be a day for you to embrace change, play more, find your way through confusion, or be resilient.

Today you may choose to focus on charting your path to move into the future. 

All of these ways to take action are essential to living big, and you can develop your abilities to do all of them.

Small steps make a big difference

If you feel unsure how to get started opening the states of being and doing you feel called to bring into your day, Live Big is filled with exercises and practices to help you. 

Just asking yourself these questions, and stepping into the exploration of these ways of living — one small step at a time — is a great start.

Living big is a practice. It’s a life-long journey of growth and expansion. And each step on the journey is a step of expansion.

Because life is always changing — whether change comes quickly, as it did around the world weeks back, or things slowly unfold, as they are doing now.

And every day of your life offers you the opportunity to live big.

When you want support, here are 3 ways to get it

1. Check out the list of resources and ideas on the Thriving Now page on my website. All of the tools and ideas have been shared in my weekly Zoom calls.  

2. Join me for the next Creating Our Way Forward Zoom call on Saturday, May 23 at 3:00pm eastern for an intimate conversation when we will connect, share, and learn new ways to both cope and stay inspired. You can register here for the next call. 

3. And, to get clear about what’s in the way for you and talk about what it can look like to get deeper, life-changing coaching support, I invite you to schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call. I promise that you will gain insights and value from this call, whether you choose to embark on coaching or not. Schedule your Live Big Breakthrough Call here.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Are you ready for what’s next?

I don’t know about you, but I’ve been reading lots of new posts that are focused on “emerging” and “restarting.”

Maybe we are at a moment where things will start to “open up.” And...

What that will look like — depending on where you live, and the way it’s handled, and if we will find ourselves knocked back again — is a big unknown.

As an optimist, I always focus on the positive. And still, this is a time for taking a clear look at where we are, what may be coming, and how to navigate now.

That’s because we are faced with a force of biology and nature that’s unlike anything we have experienced before. There are too many variables and possibilities to know what lies just ahead (much less what’s coming farther down the road).

So, having lived through weeks of isolation and facing so much uncertainty, what can you do now?

1. Start by assessing your current state

Most of us have used the weeks since enforced social distancing as a time to consider how we can live our best lives despite remarkable limitations. 

Some have struggled, some have had ups and downs. 

Some have found new ways to find well-being — both emotionally and physically — while others are still looking for what they need to feel grounded and balanced and healthy.

We all have different challenges — from isolation and loneliness, to juggling childcare and work, to caring for elderly loved ones at a distance, to finding our financial well-being overturned, to health challenges, to having to respond or provide services in new ways in our businesses, to grief, and more. 

I doubt that any of us moving through this time have been unaffected or unchanged.

So, how are you doing now?

2. Sustain your foundation — or shore it up

The only thing we know for sure is that there’s uncertainty ahead. 

If you have adjusted and feel you have solid footing, this is the time to sustain it. That means maintaining a commitment to yourself and the routines that are working. And, it means staying open and creative in your thinking, so that you can modify as you find new and better ways to support yourself, or find yourself needing to adapt to changes.

For most of us, living well continues to be a work in progress. And, that's ok. This is a perfect time to shore up your foundation.

3. Put your best resource to work.

What’s the greatest resource, that’s available to all of us, no matter how you have assessed your current state?

Creativity

And if you are wondering how to start ramping up your creativity, it’s easier than you may think.

If you’ve been reading my posts for a while you have heard me say that a key to opening your creative channels is to start by bolstering self-love.

Here are some simple ways to give yourself a little self-love pep talk.

• Remind yourself that you are a wonderful person, and are deserving of goodness, happiness and abundance.

• Remind yourself that you have a wealth of gifts to share. 

• Remind yourself that you have overcome challenges before and can again. 

Next, ask yourself questions like these:

• What self-care do I need to focus on now?

• Who can I turn to for help and support?

• How can I think differently?

• How can I serve in new ways?

• What would bring more happiness into my life?

• What's possible that I have not explored?

• Where are there opportunities now?

• How can I look at things from a new angle or perspective?

• How might I pivot?

• What matters most to me now? What one small thing can I do to make it happen, or do more of it?

All of these questions put you into a creative mindset. They open your creative thinking, and as a byproduct, they lift your spirits. 

You might write for 5 or 10 minutes as you answer each of the questions that calls to you — and you might add more questions as your intuition and curiosity get into gear.

And, to really amplify the process, start a creative practice, or do more that’s creatively expressive. Doodle, sing, cook, garden, write poems, play music, knit, build something, paint, quilt, dance — whatever you enjoy creating will give you a big emotional lift, and that lift will make everything in your life better.  

Once you adopt a creative mindset, and ramp up creative expression, you will be amazed at the impact they have. And as you move into the future you will have the resources you need to continue creating your best life. 

Are you ready for support?

I continue to provide a range of ways to support you.

The list of resources and ideas on the Thriving Now page on my website continues to grow. All of the tools and ideas, that can help you as you navigate this time, have been shared in my weekly Zoom calls.  

My next Creating Our Way Forward Zoom call will be on Saturday, May 16 at 3:00pm eastern. Join in for another intimate conversation with women from all over the country, when we connect, share, and learn new ways to both cope and stay inspired. You can register here for the next call.

If you want one-on-one coaching support, I have 2 spots on my calendar this week for free 30-minute Creating My Way coaching calls. It’s been wonderful supporting the women who have scheduled these calls already. Access my calendar to schedule your session.*

And, to get clear about what’s in the way for you and talk about what it can look like to get deeper, life-changing coaching support, I invite you to schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call. I promise that you will gain insights and value from this call, whether you choose to embark on coaching or not. Here’s how to schedule your Live Big Breakthrough Call.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Can you take this word out of your vocabulary?

In many recent conversations I’ve heard people use a word that I learned, long ago, to remove from my vocabulary. We all use it (and, yes, I still slip up from time to time). And, we’d all be doing much better if we could banish it.

The word? 

SHOULD

This is a loaded word. A word your self-critic loves to use to bombard you. A word you can live without. Because when you are aware and start to shift your self-talk to eliminate the “shoulds,” your life will get so much better.

I know that sounds like a grand promise.

Can changing one word do that much?

Yes. And here’s why.

When you layer “should” upon “should” on yourself, you are constantly feeding yourself negativity and criticism. You’re heaping self-judgement on yourself. 

You are often comparing yourself to others — or some ideal — and in the process you feel awful that you haven’t measured up. 

And that takes a toll.

Some of the shoulds I have been hearing lately include:

• I should be decluttering, like everyone else.

• I should be doing yoga every day, or taking hour-long walks.

• I should be applying for the new job I was starting to look for just before all this started.

• I should be doing something creative, but when I pull out art materials I can’t get myself to start.

• Baking? Who has time for baking? But everyone else's family is doing it...

• I should be getting ready for bed earlier... And meditating... And journaling...

• I should be volunteering. There are so many people who need help.

• I should be working on new ideas for my business, and implementing new initiatives now.

• What’s wrong with me? I should be coping better than I am.

You get the point. Maybe you see your “shoulds” on this list, or are adding yours.

If you’re a “should-er,” this is a perfect time to change your self-talk.

Try using these three steps:

1. Notice

Change begins with this crucial step: aim to catch yourself when you are “should-ing” yourself. With attention and practice, the “shoulds” get easy to spot in the moment.

2. Reframe

This step takes practice. This is when you pause and reframe the “should” thought when you notice it. Here’s an example of how you might do that.

When a thought shows up like: “I should be able to get this to-do list all checked off today,” you could re-phrase it as: “I will start doing the most important item on my list and see if I can finish that in the next hour. I’ll continue from there.”

Or, you might rephrase it this way: “Since I was up during the night with my child who couldn’t sleep, it’s ok if I just start with the first important task and reassess my energy levels for continuing after an hour.”

3. Be gentle with yourself

If someone or something needs attention — it could be an elderly parent dialing you up, a child who wakes up early from a nap, an unexpected email from a colleague, or just that you realize you are not able to focus on the matter at hand — the task you planned on will take longer, or it may need to be deferred. 

That’s ok. There’s a lot happening now that is not like “life was before,” and berating yourself will only make things harder.

This is an important time to be gentle with yourself and practice self-love. (You may want to read an older post about self-love, for specific ways to do that.)

And, as you are able to make progress — even small progress counts! —acknowledge yourself. Appreciate that you embarked on or completed a task, or started developing a new idea, or helped someone, or just made it through the day with more ease.

What would make you smile and feel good about something like that? What small treat can you give yourself? Have fun thinking of ways to acknowledge every small step on this path.

I am here to support you in several ways.

As the weeks of disruption continue, you may be finding that you need new responses.

I have been adding resources and ideas to the Thriving Now page on my website that can help you as you navigate this time. The page is filled with tools and ideas have been shared in my ongoing, weekly Zoom calls.

My next Creating Our Way Forward Zoom call will be on Saturday, May 9 at 3:00pm eastern. In these intimate conversations, women from all over the country have been connecting, sharing, and learning new ways to both cope and stay inspired. You can register here for the next call.

If you want some one-on-one support, I have 2 spots on my calendar this week for free 30-minute Creating My Way coaching calls. It’s been wonderful supporting the women who have scheduled these calls already. Access my calendar to schedule your session.*

And, to get clear about what’s in the way for you and talk about what it can look like to get deeper coaching support, I invite you to schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me. Here’s where to do that.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

The big mindset lesson I did not see coming

Our mindset is always crucially important, and it’s never been more important than it is now.

If you’ve been here for a while, you know that I advocate for creating as a key way to live well. My mission is to help people to adopt the mindset of being creators in their lives, rather than letting life happen to them.

And, I advocate for the benefits of finding ways to create expressively. When you express yourself through any creative effort, you can “offload” troubling emotion, get into a state of flow and positivity, and elevate great emotions.

My original plan for this article was to talk about how you can tune in to your intuition, and why that’s something valuable to learn and practice now.

But I am taking a detour.

I want to share something personal, that has proven to be big for me this week. 

In this time of living through major disruption, when so much has shifted and so many are struggling, my creative practice has amazed me. I have loved the time I’ve set aside to paint the last four years. But in the last two months it has become more important than I ever expected.

I want to share what’s happened in my life in the last weeks.

I have been studying painting at the SMFA since 2016. I take one class each semester, on Monday nights. And, I nearly always spend a couple of hours painting on the Sunday before my class.

It’s a relatively small time commitment, but it’s been a meaningful and important part of my life.

And then the pandemic hit.

Tufts closed and we shifted to online classes — which is super-challenging for a studio class! Fortunately, I had set up a dedicated small painting studio in my home last summer, so I had a place for all of my materials and the canvases that had been at school.

And, my life got busier than ever in the last eight weeks. I was no longer making time on Sundays to paint. But I did paint on Monday evenings, and what started to happen in that time has been more profound than I ever could have imagined.

The world changed and my art changed.

My abstract paintings have always been rooted in emotion, in making visual what I am feeling. And while I have been safe, healthy and secure, and gratified to be able to support so many people during this stressful time, I thought I was pretty grounded. 

But I can see now that I was unaware of how my mindset was being tested.

Standing in front of my easel these last weeks, and letting all of my emotion come forward, has connected me to a lot of tough stuff that I’d had glimpses of, but had not fully acknowledged. And that unacknowledged deep emotion was interfering with my well-being.

I am concerned about my elderly parents. I am concerned about family members in frail health. I am concerned about policy makers who have increased the scope and danger of the epidemic for our society and continue to fail us in so many ways. I am disturbed by how many people are in peril — front-line workers, those who are ill with the virus, people who are in dire financial straits, people around the world who were in peril before all of this, and are in greater danger now. I could go on and on. 

That deep emotion sat like an undercurrent, disturbing my sleep, my digestion and making me feel subtly uneasy. It would not sit quietly under the surface when I was in the studio. It insisted on being fully felt. And I let it be the fuel for my work.

I am letting myself feel it all.  

Each time I have painted over the last weeks has been wrenching. Something inside has opened up each time I’ve stepped into my studio — my sacred space for feeling it all.

My heart has ached. Tears have run down my face. In fact, just writing this is making me emotional. 

And I let it all come, without trying to make “beautiful paintings.” My amazing teacher, Elaine Spatz-Rabinowitz, and my dear classmates (all on Zoom now) have been remarkably supportive. Yes, they said — make it ugly. Yes, be raw.

And magic has happened. 

It has felt so liberating to allow myself to paint the ugly and raw emotions that have been sitting just under the surface. And, remarkably, what has come through me onto the canvas is one painting in particular, titled In the Unknown, that I completed last Monday. I have never painted anything like this before. My feelings are coming through in new and different ways.

I have lightened the burden on my heart through the process of creating, each time I show up in my studio. And, I hope that my expressions of this deep emotion will touch someone, somewhere, and help them to feel what they may have bottled up or pushed aside.

This time will not last forever. We will move forward.

Some things will be the same after this. Many things will have shifted. And we will adapt and adjust.

But what I have learned in my studio will stay with me. I will hold the knowing that when I create, I connect to all of myself and I give myself these two big gifts — the gift of awareness, and the gift of using and releasing the pain in my heart as I make it visible. 

Some people do this when they create with words. Some do it with dance. Some do it with music. Some do it with food, or fabrics, or sculpting, or building, or transforming their gardens, or enlightening those around them. Some turn to bright color and uplifting sounds and forms. Some need to be with their pain.

All who create give themselves a tremendous gift. 

I invite you explore this territory. 

I am here to support you.

The Thriving Now page on my website has a growing list of resources that can  can help you do just that — thrive. The tools and ideas have been shared in my ongoing, weekly Zoom calls.  

My next Creating Our Way Forward Zoom call will be on Saturday, May 2 at 3:00pm eastern. Women from all over the country have been coming to connect, share, learn new ways to navigate in these challenging times, and stay inspired. 

There’s a link to register for the call on the Thriving Now page, or you can register here for the call.

If you want some one-on-one support, I have 1 more spot on my calendar for this week for free 30-minute Creating My Way coaching calls, and 2 spots are available next week. Access my calendar to schedule a session.*

And, for deeper support — to blast through a personal or business matter you are facing — I have created special Create Your Way Forward Sprint Sessions. This deeply focused support can propel you forward, on an issue that you want to address now. I’d be glad to share the details with you. 

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Our next opportunity to learn

As we are finding our way week by week, things shift. Some days are better than others for most of us. You may be experiencing some gradual adjustments.

We have many opportunities to learn, to pay attention, and to grow in this extraordinary time. 

Last week, I wrote about how important it is to attend to your emotions. If you missed that, check out the three steps I shared to do just that.

Today, I am focused on another key lesson we can learn now. It will support you as you move through this time of interruption, and will have a great impact for a lifetime of wellbeing.

Make great self-care your new normal 

Some of us are much better at creating time and space for self-care than others.

I have clients who are working out daily, or taking long walks rain or shine. (That's a work in progress for me!) Some are super-focused on healthy eating, while others are struggling to stay away from snacking on empty carbs. Some are feeling non-stop stress, and others find their emotions bouncing up and down.

Wherever you are on the continuum, consider these ways you can take good care of yourself. 

1. Put yourself on the calendar

Many of us talk a good game. We tell ourselves we’ll meditate every day, or take the time to cook healthy food, or exercise every morning. More often than not, we start strong for a couple days and then let things slide.

Setting an intention in our heads is one thing.

Making a date with yourself — complete with a block of non-negotiable time on your calendar — takes your intention to the next level.

It’s also helpful to tell someone what you intend to do. Yes, speak it out loud.

Perhaps that person will partner with you. You might ask them for support, so you can be accountable.

Acknowledge yourself for taking this first meaningful step!

2. Choose your self-care focus

There are so many ways you can consider bringing a bigger focus on self-care into your daily life. The key is to start with one or two things that feel most appealing to you. Consider these categories:

Sleep  Are you getting enough sleep? Is the quality of your sleep suffering? How can you adjust your bedtime routine so you ease into sleep and rest well?

Food  What will help you feel your best? More fresh produce? Learning to cook new things? Setting clear times for meals and healthy snacks?

Meditation  You may want to try using an app with guided meditations. You could try writing in a journal when you wake up each morning. Or, simply spend just a few quiet minutes each day sitting and breathing deeply.

Exercise  Do you love to walk? Do you want or need to do weight-training? Is yoga your go-to, or would you like to try it out? 

Time in nature  Spending time outdoors has huge benefits, whether you dig in a garden, walk in the woods, or just stroll down the street and notice the blooms on nearby trees.

Pampering yourself  Take time to soak in a tub, savor a delicious cup of tea, take an online museum tour, try making a soothing face mask, or light candles and listen to music. Any way you can give yourself a treat is great!

Creating  You knew I would include this, right? Bringing a favorite creative activity into your life on a regular basis is an excellent way to practice self-care. Sewing or needle-work, drawing, crafting, singing, playing an instrument, writing poetry, cooking, painting, gardening — they are all wonderful ways to create and express yourself. And try creating with others, as a way to care for yourself. Who can you invite for an art date, or to sing with you?

What other ideas can you think of to bring more self-care into your life?

3. Add in a new self-care practice, or change things up

Have fun with this. Experiment and see what you most enjoy, and what has the biggest benefit to you. 

Maybe you’ll have a regular weekend self-care ritual that is different from what you choose to do Monday through Friday.  

Whatever you choose, honor yourself for your commitment to a self-care practice.

And if you want to explore additional resources to help you now, check out my Thriving Now page. It includes many ways you can do just that — thrive!  

All of the things on my growing list are tools that I and others have shared in my weekly Zoom calls.  

I am here to support you.

My next Creating Our Way Forward Zoom call will be on Saturday, April 25. Join me for this 8th weekend call. Women from all over the country have been coming to connect, share, learn new ways to navigate in these challenging times, and stay inspired. 

There’s a link to register for the call on the Thriving Now page, or you can register here for the call.

If you want some one-on-one support, I have opened 2 more spots on my calendar for this week for free 30-minute Creating My Way coaching calls. Access my calendar to schedule a session.

And, for deeper support — to blast through a personal or business matter you are facing — I have created special Create Your Way Forward Sprint Sessions. This kind of deeply focused support can propel you forward, on an issue that you want to address now. I’d be glad to share the details with you. 

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

What we can learn now

Week after week, we are all finding our way through this crisis.

Our experiences vary, of course, but this is not an easy time for any of us. Even those most fortunate — to have work, to be safe, to be healthy — struggle with uncertainty, fears, new demands and concerns that weigh on them. Those less fortunate have a far heavier burden.

As we are all challenged, we also have opportunities to learn, to take stock, to pay attention, and to grow.

Where to begin? I advocate for self care and many other important ways to support yourself, but today I want to share this fruitful starting place:

Attend to your emotions 

The difficult emotions we carry have weight. You may feel a heaviness on your shoulders or tightness in your chest. Your belly may be tender. Your jaw may tend to clench and your sleep is likely to be disrupted.

Most of us are accustomed to ignoring these signs, or pushing emotions like these aside as we rush through the demands of everyday life. 

You may be doing that now, or you may be in a slower mode and facing troubling emotion — lots of it — square in the eye. 

I’m happy to tell you that there are ways to loosen the grip of troubling emotions. You can also expand positive emotions. When you learn how, your burden will be eased.

1. Get clear

Start by writing down what you are feeling — all of it. 

What are you afraid of? What’s annoying you? Who are you lonely for? What do you miss the most? What’s making you angry?

And, what is making you happy? What are good things in your life now? What has surprised you? What do you look forward to? What do you want more of?

You won’t feel every emotion on your list every day, but having written all of it, you will be clearer and can move ahead.

2. Use your emotions as fuel 

Choose an emotion on your list that you want to clear. It could be worry, or sadness, or frustration.

Next, choose a way to create, where that emotion can be your focus, or fuel. Try as many of these as appeal to you. 

Draw — Aim to make the ugliest drawing you can to express your fear, or anger, or worry. You might draw a monster who embodies that emotion. You can fill the page with words you long to shout, big and small and overlapping. Cover the paper edge to edge, using crayons or pastels or markers. Put lots of energy into it! And feel the release.

Dance — Turn up the volume on any kind of music (loud and aggressive, opera, Motown, ballads) and move. Let you body respond and release, for as long as you want. Let the emotion move through you and out.

Write — You might compose a poem, write a letter to your emotion, invent a story, or simply free-write in a journal. Let anything show up on your page as you express your emotion. Then tuck the writing away and breathe in the space you created.

Dig in the garden — Getting outside is great, but even indoor gardening is a way you can work through emotion and feel both satisfied and uplifted.

Cook — Use emotion to hack through vegetable prep, and then aim to create something surprising with the ingredients. Delight yourself as you experiment.

You can also choose an emotion on your list that you want to enhance.You can activate more of your good emotions using the same techniques listed above! Draw, dance, write, spend time in your garden or cook to expand the emotions that fill your heart, for more of that goodness!

3. Repeat as often as you need and want

Create any time there's emotion building that needs to be processed and transformed, or that you want to enhance. Experiment and see what works best for you, and explore other ways to create using emotion as fuel. 

Maybe working with your hands is special, and you enjoy needlework or crafts. Maybe you love to putter in a workshop and make or repair things. Maybe you’ll imagine starting a huge painting, that you can keep changing each time you need a place to process emotion. Maybe you will choose your camera as a creative tool to capture images that express your troubling emotion, to document this time of separation, or to lift your spirits.

Adding a small amount of creative expression each day (that you can tuck in even when life gets very busy) will improve your wellbeing. 

This is one big way you can move into what will come after the pandemic stronger, more resilient, and better positioned to create a bright future.

If you want to explore a long list of resources to help you now, I have one for you on my website. Thriving Now includes many ways you can do just that — thrive!  

All of the things on the list are tools that I and others have shared in my weekly Zoom calls. They will help you during this unique time, and long after we have moved through it. 

I am here to support you.

My next Creating Our Way Forward Zoom call will be on Saturday, April 18. Join me for this 7th weekend call, when women from all over the country will again come together to connect, share, learn new ways to navigate in these challenging times, and stay inspired. There’s a link to register for the call on the Thriving Now page, or you can register here for the call.

If you want some one-on-one support, I have opened 2 more spots on my calendar for this week for free 30-minute Creating My Way coaching calls. Access my calendar to schedule a session.

And, for deeper support, to blast through a personal or business matter you are facing, I have created special Create Your Way Forward Sprint Sessions. This kind of deeply focused support can propel you forward now, on an issue that you want to address. I’d be glad to share the details with you. 

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

The big and the small

In my new weekly Zoom calls (I hosted my fourth one on Sunday), and in client conversations and chats with colleagues, I am observing how people are adjusting to the remarkable time we are living through.

It is great that we are sharing so many ways we care for ourselves, cope with fear, take action, create, and serve. I am delighted at how many people are now reporting that they feel balanced, more creative, grounded, hopeful, adaptive, lucky, connected, strong, OK, and fine — all words that have been used by people in recent calls.

But some reported more difficult emotions, like petrified, at loose ends, disconnected, and waiting impatiently. And, people on the front-lines of this pandemic are stressed in countless ways.

It’s important to acknowledge that whatever our circumstances we all have ups and downs. 

We may feel like we’re doing ok and still experience signs — obvious and subtle — that we are going through a process, day by day.

Here are a few examples of what we can minimize as “small stuff.”

Many of us are not sleeping well. I have good nights, but many more fitful nights than had even been usual for me (and I hear this from others). This is a clear signal that while I may feel that I am doing well, there’s a lot about this period that is different, and my subconscious seems to be working overtime.

Many of us deeply feel the isolation. Whether it’s a longing for a loved one to be closer, or a forced distance from people we want to embrace, or the feeling that zoom meetings are simply not sufficient to connect as we want with others, this emotion sits in the heart with a sadness that is real.

Many people are finding small daily tasks to be a challenge. Things that had never required much thought — like access to fresh food, bringing packages safely into our homes, or finding necessities that are in short supply — might feel like subtle annoyances, but can actually cause a real sense of distress (not to mention that these things demand far more of our time and attention than they ever used to). 

All of these “small things” add up.

And there are small steps to take that will help, no matter what you are experiencing.

1. Structure your time

Consider the ideal pace and plan for your days. Use your calendar to schedule blocks of time — for meals, exercise, work, quiet, outreach, learning, helping your children with school work, volunteering, entertainment, creating, etc. 

You do not need to do everything every day! Choose the days and times for what you want and need, and block them in. 

Whether you are busy or have more open time than you are used to, creating predictability is a very effective form of self-care.

2. Move!

Getting exercise each day has huge benefits. Make that one element of your scheduled time every day — but do vary the ways you exercise, if you want. 

Lift weights (even if that’s with canned foods rather than dumbbells). Look for online yoga or other exercise instructors. Walk outdoors. Dance. And stretch often, when seated for long peroids of time.

Feeling strong helps you to feel agency in your life, in addition to keeping your body fit.

3. Pick some go-to resources and use them

I have created a new page on my site called Thriving Now, that includes many ways you can do just that — thrive! 

Look for a technique or practice or other resource that sparks your interest. Try out different things. Find your favorites (there are many options you are unlikely to have seen suggested elsewhere) and build them into your daily routine. 

All of the things on the list (and some are very small) are tools that I and others have shared that are big ways to support ourselves — during this unique time, and long after we have moved through it. 
 

Because we will move through this time. Many things are likely going to be different after it is safe to leave our homes. My hope is that as we move through these days with thoughtfulness and intention, we will find insights for better, more conscious ways to live and work in the future.

I am here. I want to support you.

My next Creating Our Way Forward Zoom call will be on Saturday, April 11. Join me and the wonderful group of big-hearted women from all over the country who have been coming together to connect, share, learn new ways to navigate in these challenging times, and stay inspired. 

There’s a link to register for the call on the Thriving Now page, or you can register here for the call.

And, for deeper support, to blast through a personal or business matter you are facing, I have created special Create Your Way Forward Sprint Sessions. Can you imagine the way that focused support can propel you forward now? I’d be glad to share the details with you. 

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Overcoming the biggest obstacle

We are all moving through and adjusting to our new, shared reality day by day. 

The topic that comes up most in conversation with the people I speak to on my weekly Zoom calls and with my clients, is how we are each making our way through our days.

Some are feeling grounded. Some are struggling. All are making adjustments.

And all of us experience ups and downs. It’s important to be compassionate with yourself when you are stressed. 

The biggest obstacle we face is not new to this moment, but it is playing an out-sized role: FEAR

I get it. Things are scary. But we can give ourselves time to feel into it, and then know that we don't have to let fear cripple us. In fact, the better we can learn techniques to manage fear and shift from it, the less it will hinder us.

Try these 3 great antidotes to fear

1. Live in the Present  

When you are able to be fully present in each moment, you get the gifts in the moment. You are not spinning out future scenarios, or replaying old stories.

Worry and fear can stay on the outside of that space.

When you are living in the present you can be grateful for what is good, what is beautiful, and what is meaningful right now. 

This focused attention also enables you to create the moment you want and need. And, it invites you to create a vision for what is possible to support you, as well as consider all that is possible. Your quiet mind is able to connect to your intuition, and new ideas are likely to show up.

My book, Live Big: A Manifesto for a Creative Life includes a chapter about living in the present, with practices that can help you to make being present a natural way of living. To get started right now, simply pause, take a few slow deep breaths, and notice how good that feels. There, you’ve made a start.

2. Love More  

Love is a huge antidote to fear. This is the time to stay connected! Spend time (by phone, or video call) with family, friends, business colleagues and clients.

How can you share more love? 
How can you beef up self-love with some extra self-care each day? 
How can love inspire new ways for you to be of service, or help more people? 

When you live from a place of love, everything is better and everything flows more easily. 

There’s a chapter titled Love More in my book, and there is also a gift I’ve offered in the book that helps you understand self-love and the self-critic. You can download that guide here — as well as a few guided meditations.

3. Stay in Action   

Being active is a fabulous way to keep fear at bay. And it works in a few ways:

Be physically in motion: 

Find ways to move each day. Take a walk and connect to nature and the sky. Do an on-line yoga class or other exercise class (so many great ones are available now). Get up and stretch, or dance, or both! 

Create expressively: 

Choose something that will be fun. 

• Do you love using your hands? Do some knitting or a crafty project. 

• Do you enjoy cooking (or are you learning to cook now that take-out and restaurants are not your go-to way of feeding yourself)? Play with ingredients. Try new combinations or seasonings. Plate you food with attention to beauty.

• Do you feel called to draw or play with colors? Find some markers, pencils or paints and make a little creative station (your kitchen table is fine). Or pull out some old magazines and glue, and make collages. 

• Make virtual “creative dates” with someone and share your creations.

Take steps to implement new ideas: 

Remember the new ideas that showed up when you slowed down and started living in the present? Think about what small first steps you can map out, and start doing them. Is it a new way to serve your clients, as you see new needs arise? Is it a new way to stay connected with people far away? Is it a new way you want to experiment with creativity?

Commit to taking at least one new step each day. Momentum will build, even if you find yourself iterating and adjusting. Day after day, you will be in motion!

I am here. I want to support you.

My third Creating Our Way Forward Zoom call on Sunday included a wonderful group of big-hearted women from all over the country. We came together to connect, share and learn new ways to navigate in these challenging times. 

I will offer another call on Sunday, April 5 at 3:00 eastern. I'm eager to guide everyone through practices and insights for more ways to live well in these times.

Register here to join me.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Finding our way

We've all been saying it — what a difference a week has made. We are living in a different reality now.

Advice fills my inbox from all sorts of well-meaning, big-hearted people. So, I will keep my ideas to the point, and hope they are helpful.

1. Stay safe

There are lots of adjustments to make, but the basics are pretty straightforward. Clean hands. Clean surfaces. Stay home, and when you must go out, stay far from others and wash hands and surfaces even more diligently.

2. Lower the volume

Listening to the news all day, social media scrolling, and conversations filled with worry and rehashing are not helpful. Shift to short news check-ins two to three times a day and steer conversations in new directions (or curtail them).

3. Stay connected

We are blessed to live at a time where technology is available so that we can be in community virtually. It's not the same as in person, but it is a blessing. Tap into virtual offerings that help, such as yoga instruction, groups of like-minded people doing positive things together, online courses, and more.

And reach out to neighbors. Who needs help — even just a call to check in? We have a neighbor who offered to add our grocery needs to her list, and we will do the same for her next week. Think about how you can support others.

4. Practice gratitude

See number 3 above, and consider everything for which you can be grateful. When you look for it, there's a lot for which to be grateful!

5. Stay calm, ward off fear

Fear will not keep you safe. In fact, the stress it induces will lower your immunity. And, it clouds your thinking. We need to think clearly now more than ever! I have written about dealing fear in various contexts in past posts. You can check out this article, And this one. And one more.

This is the time to stay positive! And step #6 will help you do that.

6. Create each day

Consider your opportunities to create in two ways:

     A. Create to express yourself, dispel anxiety and open your heart. You can do this in countless ways, so try as many as you want. Start by choosing a playful frame of mind, to open your heart, then let creativity flow with ease. Doodle. Arrange food in a funny way on your plate. If you have a coloring book, spend some time with it. Play an instrument or dance to music of any kind. Collage with scraps of paper and cloth. Create on your own and invite others to join you on Zoom or post to one another in a text thread. As I said, there is no limit to how you can create. It’s a perfect way to lift your spirits.

     B. Consider how you can create new ways of serving, working, thinking. Approach everything with curiosity and ask, "What if?" as you prompt yourself to think more broadly. Is there a new way you can collaborate with colleagues? A new offering to create for your clients? Can you add value for your clients or customers? Often, constraints — like the constraints these times are imposing — can spur the most effective new ways of thinking and doing things. Challenge yourself to think differently. Reach out to people and think together about new approaches and possibilities.

7. Keep loving

Love yourself with good self-care of every kind. Love the people around you and find ways to let them know they are loved. Let love be the inspiration for all of the ways you can serve and create now. Let it be the guiding force in your life.

I am here to support you in two ways

I was moved to offer an open conversation I called Creating the Way Forward on Saturday via Zoom. It was wonderful to have time with great women to process and share and inspire one another other in many beautiful ways.

I will offer another Creating the Way Forward conversation again soon. If you are on my email list, look for an email from me, or check my posts on social media for the next session, and request a link to join in. 

And, reach out to me if you want some one-on-one support. I have opened three spots on my calendar this week for free Creating My Way calls, and will continue to offer them in the weeks ahead. Reach out to request one.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

We always get to choose

I recently got a wake-up call. You know the kind. When someone you love has died, and someone else you love is suddenly diagnosed with advanced illness, a lot shifts into perspective.

The big question that moves to the top of the mental list becomes, “What really matters?” 

And truly, that’s the question we need to be considering each day. That’s where our attention is best placed.

Do you have clarity about your priorities? If not, this is a great time to slow down and give it some thought.

Next, consider these three questions:

1. Are you choosing fear or love?

It’s easy to get caught up in fear — about viruses, about what’s around the next corner, about the political climate, and so much more.

When we allow fear to run the show we are inviting roadblocks to get in the way of what we decided was really important. 

Instead, we can orient ourselves to operate from the space of love.

What does that look like? 

It means choosing to love ourselves. We can focus on ramping up self-care, like getting plenty of sleep, and walking outdoors, or meditating to stay calm. Even something as simple as taking a minute or two to get quiet and tune into your breath works wonders.

We can also focus on love as we connect more to important people in our lives. These may be people we see every day, at home or work, as we make space for especially meaningful conversations. It may be reaching out to people we care about but have not spoken to in a long time.

When we operate with an orientation of love, we not only help ourselves and feel more positivity and happiness, but love ripples out in beautiful ways.

2. Are you choosing action?

After getting focused on what matters to you, are you setting intentions to get into action and stay in motion? Ideas are great, but many people stop there. It’s in commiting to actively doing that you will find satisfaction.

There’s a bonus to being in action, too. When we are active — whether we’re physically active, or actively engaged in an important project — fear has less opportunity to limit us.

3. Are you choosing inspiration?

There are many ways to stay energized and inspired. Rather than being caught up in drama, intentionally turn your attention to things that keep you energized.

Did you read inspiring stories on International Women's Day? Did you meet someone whose ideas are remarkable? Did you read a fabulous book or see a great film? Did you spot wonder around you (maybe see a surprising way the light filtered in your window, or hear a magical bird call)?

When you choose to bring your attention back to people and ideas and art that inspire you, you have incredible fuel to keep pursuing the things you’ve determined matter most.

We all have the opportunity to grow and expand day by day, as we make choices with care. We all have important work to bring into the world, unhindered by fear. 

What better way could there be to respond to a wake-up?

Leave a comment and share the ways you are choosing to focus your attention and efforts.

And, if you are curious about how coaching can support you to live your best life — as you are pondering what’s next, or if you feel stuck, or as you are navigating a big transition — let’s make a date to talk. Private Creative Core Coaching might be a life-changing resource for you. 

I currently have one more spot available for one-on-one coaching. And with the exciting activity that’s developing around my book, Live Big: A Manifesto for a Creative Life, I may not be taking on additional private clients for some time. 

If you are ready to take a serious step to start living the life you yearn for, it can start here.

My holiday gift for you

Whether you are busy cooking, or traveling, hanging out and relaxed, or stressed over last-minute tasks as this email catches your eye, the holidays are impacting all of in us in one way or another.

I have a few wishes — and invitations — for you right now (that I welcome you to share as widely as you like).

I wish you holidays filled with light and love.
I wish you time to savor all that is wonderful in your life.
I invite you to create space to contemplate what you truly want.
I invite you to look for opportunities for rich conversations.
I invite you to create from the energy of whatever emotions show up, in any way you are moved to do that.
I invite you to bring play and laughter into your life.
I invite you to remember the importance of self-care, and do something special for yourself every day.
I invite you to slow down so that everything will be easier (and better).
I wish you happy anticipation about the possibilities that lie ahead for you.
I wish you willingness and commitment to pursue what deeply matters to you.
I wish you peace and joy.

Sent to you with love and gratitude.