We’re all worn out as we wait...

If you are feeling like me, and so many people with whom I’ve been in conversation recently, we’re collectively sensing a peculiar mix of excitement, longing, and uncertainty.

We are moving into month 13 of restrictions and changes due to the pandemic. That’s a crazy-long time to have been in uncertainty, much less experiencing the despair that so many have suffered.

As humans, our first impulse when a problem arrises is to reach out to others — and to be close. Close contact is the biggest thing we have been unable to have, and that has been hard.

Many of us are running low on resources to continue hanging in, waiting for the tide to truly turn.

We just do not yet know when that will be.

We are tired of seeing others only on screens. We miss embraces, we miss sitting and sharing meals together. We long to be able to sit in a crowded cafe, or attend a live performance, or travel.

Here are the best ideas I’ve had and seen lately

Zoom — yes, it continues to be a great resource!

In spite of screen fatigue and the feeling of disconnection, we can still leverage the miracle of this (and similar) technology to help us cope.

On Saturday, I led a private virtual vision board workshop for a group of 12 women who missed one another and longed to gather to share a great experience. It was an absolute pleasure to guide them through my process, and see the joy they had creating together.

And next weekend my family will have a zoom celebration for my father’s 95th birthday. Friends and relatives from around the globe will join us — something that was not possible at the beautiful party we had for my dad on his 90th birthday. Will it be the same as 5 years ago? No. Will it be special, memorable and have some advantages? Yes.

How can you think about designing a virtual way to gather in a fresh light, so that connecting to others can boost your emotions?

Get outside!

I marvel at people who have been outside every day, especially in the cold winter months we’ve experienced where I live. I have intended to get out more, but I have often stayed warm and kept busy inside.

Yesterday I not only bundled up and walked in the cold bright air, I decided not to stay close to home as I typically do. I chose to walk in a nearby park with the goal to see more people than I do in the streets around my home.

It was lovely to see families out and about, and see kids climb on a play structure.

I did not expect it, but I heard someone call my name. As I looked at the man in a wooly hat and mask, making it hard to tell who he was, I realized I recognized his voice!

It was so special to have this casual encounter and conversation with someone I had not seen in over a year.

I am motivated to take myself to more places where I can safely be near people in a way that feels “normal.” When we got home from our walk yesterday, we bought tickets to visit an outdoor sculpture museum next weekend. I cannot wait!

What can you do to expand the possibilities to safely connect with people in the real world?

Ramp up the gratitude

I know this may sound like a recurring theme, but that’s because gratitude is so powerful, and such a valuable resource that is always available to us.

If we are lucky, the vaccine rollout will swiftly protect our entire population. If we are lucky, the vaccines will protect us against the new variants (or booster shots will do that). If we are lucky, the new stimulus funds will usher in a big round of economic relief and suffering will subside.

We can wait and see, and then express gratitude.

Or, we can be grateful each day that there is forward progress underway.

We can be grateful now, knowing that we will soon be safer.

We can be grateful now, for sunny days and for spring being just round the corner.

We can be grateful now for love, for kindness, and for each smile — whether we see that smile in the eyes of a person wearing a mask, or on a zoom screen, or through a window.

When we focus on gratitude, we fill ourselves with good emotions. These buoy us and help us to bring patience and resilience to each day.

How can you make gratitude a bigger part of your life each day?

How are you creating your way through the challenges?

Leave a comment and share what is working for you now. I am eager to hear about more great ideas.

And if you have the urge to make new moves in your life or work, or are trying to figure out what’s next, or you yearn to create a future that fulfills your dreams, let’s talk.

I love to be in conversation with accomplished women who want to explore what’s in their way now, and connect to a vision for the lives they yearn to create.

And the timing may be ideal. The next Live Big Live! will be launching in April, and registration has just opened.

I promise that our conversation will provide you with a new insight or fresh perspectives about your life and what’s possible. If Live Big Live! may be a good fit for you, we’ll talk about that — but if either of us feels the fit is not good, that’s absolutely fine.

You can book a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me, or email me and we’ll make a date to talk.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

How I'm coping now — and you can, too

Is the winter weather, the strain of pandemic limitations, and the need for continued isolation getting to you?

I’m hearing lots of people describe that after nearly a year, filled with ups and downs, this has become a particularly challenging time for them. Some describe it as feeling like they are “hitting the wall.”

People everywhere crave connection. Many feel lonely. I, too, long to be with people I love and have not touched or held for months. I long to be with friends I have only seen on a screen, long to be able to safely hop a plane and go to see my dad and sisters, and long for the simple pleasure of being able to be in a busy place with people all around me, without worry about getting sick. 

Some of us are vaccinated (or in my case, have had the first of 2 shots) and others must wait for the day they will be able to be vaccinated. The thought of being with others, safely visiting a museum, or eating inside of a favorite cafe is so enticing.

And, we are not there... yet.

Even as our patience is being tested, we get to choose how to respond.

Can you see this moment as an opportunity?

Whenever you are struggling there is always an invitation to respond in new ways.

See if these approaches help you.

1. Try out a new way to cope with tough emotions

My work is all about creating, and the thing most people do not know — that I learned when I studied Psycho-Creativity — is that we have an amazing resource available to us when we create with the energy of difficult emotions. We can actually transform the “load” of emotional stress we feel.

If you want to try it, there are many possibilities.

You can crank up intense music and dance out your frustration, or anger, or whatever way you are feeling upset. You can grab some crayons and make a series of hideous pictures — to make the angry feelings visual. You can hammer away in a workshop to “download” the upsetting feelings and find relief, or furiously chop up the veggies for your salad.

Since the start of the pandemic, I have turned to this way of finding release when I paint. Each time I am in my studio I allow all my emotions to come up. I connect to my heart and sometimes find myself in tears.

My work has changed a lot over the last year. Some canvases are a mess, and I simply keep reworking them. Some paintings emerge successfully, and a few have been in juried exhibitions. Honestly, I don't really care that much. My time in the studio has been an important way for me to deal with the fear, pain and loss I’ve been feeling, and I am deeply grateful for the outlet.

2. You can choose to reframe the situation and focus on gratitude

Yes, this year has been a long haul. You may have kids doing distance learning. You may have had work disruptions. You may have been ill, or lost someone you love. The degree to which we have personally experienced difficulties in the last year varies a lot, and I am not suggesting we minimize the difficulties.

Right now, my son, his wife and their two small children all have COVID. After staying safe for nearly a year, the virus came into their home from the school of my 21-month old granddaughter. I am so grateful that the illness has not been severe for any of them. And yet, it is deeply upsetting that they are ill, and it feels incredibly hard not being there to help them.

My reframe looks like this:

In spite of having been confined, and having had to bury my mother last summer without the comfort of loved ones around us, and the worry I feel about my children and grandchildren who are ill, I choose to focus on many blessings.

• Most members of my family have stayed safe, and my son and his family are making a steady recovery.

• We have found new ways to stay connected and help one another.

• We have created novel ways to be happy together.

• Our new national leaders are addressing the pandemic, as well as many other vitally important issues that aim to bring more safety and justice to the people of our country.

• Love has carried us on its wings.

And my daily gratitude practice, when I remind myself of 3 or more things for which I can be grateful at the end of each day, has been enormously helpful.

3. You can leverage the power of visualization

I am a big believer in visualization. Much the way Olympic athletes envision a strong start (as they are on the starting block, or are about to set up their next dive) and then envision having an excellent performance, we can use the power of visualization in our lives.

On a daily basis, we can start the day by envisioning how we want to feel at the end of a conversation, or when completing a task, or even how we want to feel at the end of the day. Holding that vision can bring powerful results.

And you can set a vision for the way you want to feel and what you want to be doing when the weather gets warm in the months ahead. Imagine the scene and savor the vision. Then you are likely to take steps that will make the vision your reality. 

And consider your vision for your life a year from now. What does that vision include? This is a great time to create that vision.

Then, consider how you can keep the vision fresh in your mind. (Hint: you might want to make a vision board to keep it present in your life each day. You may want to register now for my Dream Big Vision Board Workshop in May.)

If you don’t want to go it alone anymore, do reach out

I am hearing from many accomplished women who are ready to get support and help to move beyond the challenges of the day-to-day and make meaningful strides to create the futures they long for. 

If you want to explore what it can look like to become a confident and powerful creator of the future you desire — whether you know what that vision looks like already, or are trying to figure it out — your first step can be to reach out for a conversation.

It’s easy to do. You can book a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me, or email me and we’ll make a date to talk.

I promise to provide you with new insights and perspectives, and I may be able to help you start creating the life you want and deserve. There’s no cost for us to talk, and please know this — if either of us feels the fit is not good, that’s absolutely fine.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

2.9.21, 5am...

It was 5:00am one morning last week, and this is what poured out onto the page when I could not sleep:

Right now it’s too much. Too much to do, too much to keep up with. More than I can do. More than I want to do.

I need space. Space for rest. Space for me. Space to be. Space to paint. Time for more movement. Yoga again! Reading!

Grace. Ease.

Help. Lots of it.

Simplify. Time with Steven. Go outside. Feel the snow. Breathe the air — everyday!!!

What can I postpone? Look and do that.

Block lots of time on my calendar for me. End the day earlier.

I cannot continue this way. And I will not.

Can you relate?

When clients work with me, they often think I have everything figured out.

Sure, they know that I’ve had challenges in the past, but they are certain that I have overcome them and live a perfectly balanced life — which is what so many of them are seeking.

The truth?

I do live a significantly different (and happier) life than I had a decade ago. But even as we learn and make big changes in our lives, the challenges we have faced before crop up again.

We are tested over and over.

Why did I find myself coming to all of this pre-dawn awareness after having made so many important changes in my life in the last decade?

Because the drivers that had made my “old” life so intense for so long tend to creep up on me if I fail to stay alert to them.

It is easy for me to drift back into an over-busy life, where I am not taking the consistent actions that I started to adopt a decade ago.

Slowing down and being still, really listening to my heart, and taking time to see wonder all around me every day can get crowded out with long lists of to-do’s.

Fully embracing gratitude, focusing on self-love, and allowing myself to feel free can fall by the wayside.

That's when my biggest challenges — letting fear influence me, and not focusing on being patient, so I can allow all the things I am working toward to unfold as they are meant to — really try and step in to sabotage me.

Getting back on course

Personal transformation is a process! It’s never one-and-done. We do the work to grow and develop new and better ways to live and work, and inevitably find that old challenges crop up again.

But when they show up, we are different than when we began the journey.

We can spot the problems earlier, before they wreak havoc as they used to. And we have tools and insights to return to, so we can begin to consistently bring those practices back into our lives and more quickly get on track.

I took my pre-dawn rant into a conversation with my coach, and with her brilliant guidance I made connections at a deeper level than ever before about what the underlying factors were that I could address — and powerful ways to bring big change into my life now.

We can always learn more and do more

We never “get there” — to a place of perfection and total ease.

We continually grow and expand, and even though we hit rough patches again and again, that growth is amazing!

I find it incredibly inspiring to gain new perspectives and deeper clarity as I move along my journey. As my life unfolds and I experience periodic set-backs, I can spot them and address them, and they become instructive.

Rather than festering and causing damage, I see them and learn from them. That’s how they bring me the gifts of new levels of change and expansion in my life.

And for that I am filled with gratitude.

Are you ready to start — or continue — your journey?

You may feel overwhelmed for any number of reasons.

You may be focused on everyone else’s well-being, and not your own.

You may have dreams you’ve put on hold or dreams you want to realize faster with guidance.

You may simply feel stuck or in a deep rut.

Whether you have addressed these challenges in the past and want to make your next move forward, or you want to begin a journey to transform your life, I applaud you for knowing you want to find a guide to help you.

I am happiest when I am in conversation with accomplished women who want to explore the real stuff that’s in their way now, and connect to a vision for the lives they want to create.

I invite you to have a conversation like that. I promise to provide you with new insights and perspectives. Perhaps I can help you create the life you want and deserve — and, if either of us feels the fit is not good, that’s absolutely fine.

It’s easy to book a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me, or email me and we’ll make a date to talk.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

The magic that happens when love expands

We are heading into Valentine’s Day weekend, and messages abound about special ways to show love to the important people in our lives.

It’s wonderful to have a day focused on love. In fact, I think about love every day.

I think about self-love as a foundation for being a powerful creator in my life, and how important it is to make a practice of attending to self-love.

You might want to check the post I wrote at this time last year that goes into detail about self-love. And this post, written last spring as we headed into lockdown, addresses self-care, which is a big way we can practice self-love. Here’s one more post that describes great ways to cultivate self-love — it was my mid-February post 2 years ago.

I think about leveraging love and making love a driver in my life day-to-day, even when I am faced with people who test my patience or do troubling things. One great way to do that is to choose love over fear, and this post from last year can help you to that.

I focus on a connection to the energy of love in my heart, that fuels me, and, as a natural by-product, I spread love to everyone around me. This post about my mother, and the love she brought into the world, may inspire you.

And last week I witnessed an explosion of love

Huge love was expressed by the remarkable women who joined me for 3 big days at my Live Big Live! retreat.

The retreat was the culmination of a 45-day journey where each woman was guided to know herself, ask probing questions, and connect to the desires in her heart in a deep way. Week by week, the group traveled together. Everyone started to crystalize a vision for herself that was fully aligned with who she is and what matters most for her now.

And in our 3 wonderful days together — in a virtual setting for this retreat, that worked remarkably well — we moved through a process that led to more clarity, more specificity, and engaging in creative work that both opened hearts and expressed what was in each heart.

I witnessed amazing courage and moving vulnerability, as each of the women connected to the deep desires that inform her vision for the life she wants to create. I witnessed beautiful deep dives into envisioning living their biggest, best lives possible, and how each will step into living those lives.

Each time a tender insight was shared self-love grew in the speaker. That energy deepened connections and inspired everyone else.

I witnessed love throughout each day of the retreat, and marveled at the magic that grew as we moved through each step of the expanding process.

And each woman allowed herself to feel love, too — both self-love and the love of everyone else — and to receive that abundant love.

For some it can be uncomfortable to be the recipient of expressions of love from others who see us in ways we cannot see ourselves. When others share what they admire and appreciate about us, and we are able to accept what we hear with an open heart, it allows our own hearts to open wider. In turn, we have more love to share.

How do you want to bring more love into your life, and into the world around you?

I invite you to take some time and consider these questions.

Certainly, send a bouquet or sweets to someone you love. (My darling husband had the flowers in the photo above delivered on Sunday morning to congratulate me on the successful retreat — an early and very special Valentine’s gift!)

But don’t stop there.

Consider love for yourself. Are you practicing self-love? Can you bring more of it into your thoughts and actions?

And consider all of the ways that love can be a force in your life.

Envision the impact of ramping up your focus on love — in your life, in the lives of those you care about, those you work with, those in your community and even beyond. When love ripples out from us, we rarely know how far it spreads and how many lives it impacts.

And if you are looking for a guide in your life, someone who can help you expand and find the kind of happiness, direction, and love that happens at Live Big Live!, I am happy to tell you that I will be launching the next Live Big Live! journey soon.

This may be the perfect time for you to give yourself the gift of clarity, vision and support to create the future you desire.

I would be happy to speak to you and hear about the life you want to create.

Whether you aim to get unstuck, figure out what's next, make a big life change or find your path to more satisfaction and joy, it’s possible create the future you desire, just as countless clients of mine have done.

Let’s have a conversation about what's happening in your life, the dreams and desires in your heart, and how I may be able to help you create the life you want and deserve.

It’s easy to book a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me, or email me and we’ll make a date to talk. There’s no obligation. It’s an opportunity for us to have a meaningful and enlightening conversation — and maybe change your life.
Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

How this important week can impact your life

This is a momentous week. We started by celebrating Martin Luther King Jr., whose life and legacy have inspired us for decades.

Dr. King led bravely and he inspired us to dream — to dream of a time when there would be justice and equality for all people in this nation.

He famously said that the arc of the moral universe is long but it bends toward justice.

We have been living through a time when the bend of the arc toward justice has been tested in terrible ways. I am grateful that we are moving toward justice in a significant way this week, even as we know there is still enormous important work to be done.

It feels to me that we are on the precipice of a new beginning as a nation.

We are ushering in new leadership that is committed to moving us all forward — beyond divisions, robustly addressing the devastating pandemic and the restoration of our economy, forging ahead to tackle climate change and make big headway toward righting racial injustice, and so much more.

This is the time we can all dream of a brighter future, and all contribute to making that future a reality.

Each of us can dream — dream about the biggest, best ways to show up in our lives, and to bring all of our gifts into the world.

When we allow ourselves to dream big, and when we then each bring commitment to doing our work in the best ways possible, that great work — whatever it is — contributes to creating a better world.

What is your dream?

What do you long to do, and to have? How do you want to grow and expand? What will it take for your dreams to become your reality?

Start by considering who you need to BE in your life for your dreams to be realized.

Do you need to be bolder? Do you need to attend to your self-care to be strong and healthy and rested enough to do your genius work?

Do you need to create quiet, so you are not distracted and hectic all the time?

Do you need to believe in your gifts and build confidence?

Do you need to be more decisive? Do you need to set healthy boundaries? Do you need to have courageous conversations?

The foundation for realizing your dreams begins with considering who you need to BE each day, how you want to show up in the world.

Begin to step into the person you want to be

Start with awareness as you move through your days.

Check in with yourself to notice when you are on auot-pilot (such as pulling back from opportunities, or packing too many things into an already-crammed schedule, or snapping at people you love).

Layer on belief

Start with belief in yourself, that it is possible for you to make these changes. Make a practice of journaling, or meditation, or creating a mantra to repeat, or whatever will help you build the belief that you can make these changes.

Next add commitment

Commit to being self-aware and to actually shifting into the new ways of being that you are focused on. Think about where and when you most need to show up in this new way. It may be at work, or with family, or the way you write your marketing materials, or develop your skills. Make reminders for yourself. (I recommend making colorful post-it note reminders for yourself and placing them around your house where you will see them often.)

Get help if you need a guide

Hire a coach, join a coaching program, or ask a close friend to be your accountability partner as you build the new “muscles” — of confidence, boldness, decisiveness, slowing down, or whatever other ways you determined you want to BE in your life, so that you can create the reality you dream of.

You don’t have to do this alone! And getting help will not only accelerate the pace of bringing your dreams into reality, it will ease the process.

This is the perfect time for you to make your dreams real!

Latch on to the positive, hopeful energy around you.

Say “No” to fear or doubt if those feelings show up.

Let love — for yourself and for the world — fuel your efforts. Aim to say yes to love — to love for yourself, and love for everyone around you.

To quote Dr. King:
Darkness cannot drive out darkness;
only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate;
only love can do that.

Today is the day to begin! Today is the day you can be the light, powered by love, to be the person who will make her dreams her reality, and thereby make the world a better place.

As you begin, and as you stay committed to the process, you will be a part of a huge force for good, for expansion, and for building a beautiful future for people everywhere.

I look forward to hearing from you if you want to talk about creating the life you dream of. Hit reply and we’ll make a date.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

3 life-changing questions to ask now

We are about to say good-bye to 2020.

As eager as we all are to move ahead and leave this challenging year behind, let’s not rush. We have an important opportunity to reflect on 2020 before the turn of the calendar.

After all, when we fail to look back at what we can learn, we lose the opportunity for precious insights that can support us in the future.

Three great questions to ask yourself now

1. What are you proud of?

Acknowledging ourselves is really important — something many of us never do. We need to celebrate things we have accomplished, our resilience in the face of difficulties, ways we have grown over time, and good that we have done.

Spend some time reflecting and writing down all the things this year for which you are proud when you look back at 2020. And don’t skip the small stuff — it all counts!

When you have your list, savor it all. Hold that goodness in your heart and own the pride.

2. What can you let go of?

We all carry limiting stories, grievances, self-critical thinking, resentment, fears, and more that limit us. This is a perfect time to think about what you want to leave behind in 2020.

Write down all the things you want to let go of.

You may see that some things on your list can be easier to stop, while others may be entrenched and hard to let go of. That’s ok.

This is an exercise in awareness. Without awareness, we drift. And when we drift we fail to address changes we want to make.

You can make a note of the items you believe will be fairly easy to drop and put the list where you will see it each day. If you can catch yourself holding onto or returning to any of the items, you’ll have a ready reminder to try and let go.

For the more challenging things you want to drop, you might start a journal and dive into exploring their hold on you, as well as ways you might begin to let go of them, bit by bit.

3. What is your vision for 2021?

Rather than starting the new year as if it’s just another day, this is a perfect time to set a vivid vision for your new year.

I am not talking about making a resolution to exercise more, or stop a bad habit.

Think bigger.

Connect to what your heart desires.

What do you want to create next year?
How do you want to live big?

What are you excited to explore, to test, to step into, to go after?

When we set a vision we bring focus to our lives. And what we focus on is what we get.

It’s not about magical thinking.

Rather, it’s about setting clear intentions and staying committed to the vision — even when that means we need to expand to do new things that are not in our comfort zone.

Give yourself a gift as the year ends

Whether you were showered with gifts during the holidays or not, the gift I am recommending is different.

A magnificent gift you can bestow on yourself now is the gift of time.

Devote some precious time to reflecting on all that you can celebrate as you moved through what was a uniquely difficult year. Move on to considering what you decided you want to leave behind as you turn the corner to a new year. And savor the vision for what you want for yourself in 2021.

And if you are unsure about your vision for 2021, you may want to join me to create a vision board — this is another wonderful gift you can bestow on yourself.

I am excited to lead my Dream Big Vision Board Workshop online, on Sunday, January 17.

No matter where you live, you can join me for a powerful and meaningful experience that will bring you clarity and inspiration for the year you want to create in 2021. Registration is open now!

Wishing you an abundant new year filled with health, joy, love, peace, and all good things.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

The perfect week for combining love + creativity

Here we are — the big holiday week of the year has arrived, and it’s also the week we celebrate the Winter Solstice.

As I do not celebrate Christmas, I enjoy seeing the pleasure so many friends experience on this holiday. And I am always glad to rejoice in celebrating the Solstice. While December 21st was the shortest, darkest day of the year, we now begin to enjoy a bit more daylight each day. This always lifts my spirits as we move into a new year.

And what a year this has been. I feel confident saying this is a year we will all remember, and we are all ready to bid adieu.

Now, more than any year in memory, we all need an abundance of light and love!

Make this a week to slow down, relax, and consciously welcome love

Even though we cannot be with friends and family in person as we long to, there are many ways to create connection and share love.

We must be extra-careful to stay safe and keep others safe. But that does not mean we need to feel apart in our hearts.

What new ways of connecting can you create now, that will hold meaning for you and those about whom you care?

While many of us feel “zoomed out” by work meetings, Zoom has proven to be a great way to share a meal, play a game, meet with family members at great distances to laugh together, and do creative projects (from my now-virtual monthly IgNight Creative Evenings to my weekly art-making dates with my grandson).

There are countless ways to create meaningful and memorable connections.

No matter what is happening around us and for us, we always have the power to create

Some of us have moved through the months of the pandemic with more ease than others. Many have suffered terribly. We have all been challenged — and changed.

And, as always, some people in similar situations fair better than others. Those that do best are those who are able to find the most positive frame of mind and the most positive path to pursue.

This is what I call creating our way forward

When things get tough, a creator looks for possibilities that are not obvious.

A creator considers new ways of responding. This can mean new ways of getting support, or new ways of coping with stress — whether it’s through creative expression, by reaching out, by ramping up self-care, by getting out in nature, or anything else. By choosing to create each next step with intention, rather than reacting, amazing things are possible.

A creator tries and tests new approaches. It might be for managing day-to-day life, for running a business or bringing in new streams of income, for setting up ways family members can all cohabit and do their work and learning, or anything else.

A creator keeps an open mind and stays curious. When you ask yourself, “What’s possible?” you are always considering how to find the best path forward.

A creator also looks for wonder and tunes in to gratitude every day.

Approaching your life this way keeps the heart open. When you combine an open heart and an open mind new possibilities show up.

Love + Creativity make a powerful combination

I invite you to bring love and light into your life in as many ways as you can dream up.

All that dreaming is connected to your creative power. You have a bottomless well of creativity. You cannot run out of it, so use it with abandon!

When you are focused on love, and you create with intention, fear stays at bay and joy increases. And who doesn’t want a tremendously joy-filled holiday season?

Start now, and it will be easy to carry this beautiful energy into the new year.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

How we can move through this time of change

September is a time for new beginnings of all kinds. Even if you were not among those fortunate to have been able to get away this summer, or if life feels like a long string of similar days, there’s a shift that most of us feel after Labor Day.

Interconnected themes and inspiration have been showing up for me recently, that I am glad to share. 

7 things I am thinking about in this time of transition

1. We can choose optimism or pessimism. 

In his sermon on Rosh Hashana (the Jewish holiday to welcome the Jewish new year), our rabbi talked about optimism and pessimism. He pointed out that both can exist simultaneously, and that both can be motivators to take action. I would add that we always get to choose the frame for how we want to look at the world.

2. A broken heart can fuel passion. 

I heard the heartbreaking news about Ruth Bader Ginsberg’s death just after our Rosh Hashana evening service ended on Friday night. RBG was a giant of a woman who was fearlessly and passionately committed to work for equality and justice. We have the opportunity, and responsibility, to continue the work she advanced with so much grace, talent, tenacity and determination.

3. We have agency and we can take action. 

It’s easy to fall into despair when there are so many big issues on our minds. Regardless of the frame we chose as motivation (optimism or pessimism), when we think about what great people like Ruth Bader Ginsberg were able to accomplish, we can step up and take action to make this a better world. While few of us will have an opportunity like sitting on the Supreme Court, all of us can take action. History offers us many examples about how the combined efforts of great numbers of people have brought meaningful change to the world. 

4. When you look for it, you can find inspiration. 

I heard Brené Brown’s Unlocking Us podcast with Sonya Renee Taylor yesterday, talking about the book The Body is Not an Apology: The Power of Radical Self-Love. The conversation they had about this book was mind-expanding. Taylor takes the concept of self-love, that I teach in my work, to remarkable new heights. Opportunities to hear conversations like this can change the frame through which we see and understand the world, and ourselves. 

5. We can create inspiration. 

At my monthly IgNight Creative Evening on Thursday, when we created together on Zoom, the energy was electric. The theme for the evening was “reframing.” We expressed in words, we drew abstract concepts, and we dove into a great way to explore with color. We played and experimented. We shared and inspired one another. The uplifting spirit of the evening made me think about the opportunities we have to bring light and fun into many parts of our lives.

6. There is great power in community. 

The pandemic made it impossible to be with my community for services on Friday and Saturday. It made it impossible to be with family and friends after my mother’s death last month. It made it impossible to have IgNight in my studio. It has made it impossible to meet in person with colleagues and clients. And yet, we have been connected, and we’ve shared in community in new ways. And while some of what we miss when not in the same room is a loss, we have had new benefits. We can now connect with people who are located well beyond what would be possible in person. And the connections are deep and satisfying, even when we only see each other on a screen.

7. The power of love is vast.

Love is the thread that connects and inspires everything in my life. I believe that when we lead with love, when we look at the world through the lens of love, when we take action fueled by love, and when we bring love into everything we do, we live our biggest and best lives. 

How are you moving through this time of change?

What are you seeing and experiencing now? Are you feeling optimistic or pessimistic? Are you inspired to take action in your life? Are you motivated to impact something in the world? 

Drop me a note or leave a comment to let me know.

And if you want to talk about how to bring new inspiration into your life, I invite you to schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me. 

I would be delighted to help you gain insight and clarity about what may be hampering you or changes you are seeking to make, and how you can bring new inspiration and intentional change into your life. 

I look forward to hearing from you.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Curious about how core values can help you live big?

It won’t surprise you that I have been thinking a lot about my mother, who died on August 21. (If you missed what I wrote about her last week, treat yourself to some inspiration.)

In my reflections, I have been thinking about the core values in her life, that informed the remarkable imprint she left on everyone who knew her.

Core values are front of mind for me these days. In the work I am doing with a group of remarkable women, I am helping each to go through a process of identifying her core values.

Why?

I believe we benefit enormously when we are clear about our guiding principles. We see ourselves with more clarity and insight. We can not only live with more integrity, we can more easily make decisions and choices that are right for us. And we are better able to create futures that align with who we truly are.

What can core values look like?

My mother’s core values, as I saw them, included:

• creating and elevating beauty in all she did, and inspiring others to see and create beauty

• creativity — she was a fantastic artist and her cooking was legendary 

• love — of family and friends, and she created meaningful new relationships with ease

• hospitality — closely related to love, hosting special gatherings gave her great joy

• striving for perfection — sometimes to an extreme

• justice — she believed in the rights of all people to be treated fairly and afforded opportunity

My mother rarely wavered. She was clear about all she believed in. These values guided her each day of her life.

How do a parent’s values influence you?

As my mother’s daughter, all of her values influenced my life.

Like most children, it was natural for me to try and model myself after my mother. This was mostly for the good. I adopted her love of beauty, I actively strive for social justice, and I love deeply. In time, I became an artist.

But occasionally, as in the case of her focus on perfectionism, the influence was not so positive. It has taken me years to be able to aim for excellence without pushing myself to the impossible extreme of perfectionism.

Can you see yourself through the lens of core values?

As we each grow and evolve through life, we become unique individuals. My list of core values has some overlaps with those I see as my mother’s, but it is unique to me. 

My list begins with love. Love is closely followed by creativity that's paired with curiosity. (Following my curiosity has helped to free me from the perfectionism that hampered me for many decades.)

Happiness, joy and gratitude are core for me. My love of beauty came directly from my mother. Exploration — of ideas and new places — is also on my list. 

Leadership paired with vision; justice paired with tolerance; generativity; and accountability paired with resourcefulness round out my list of values.

What about your values?

Have you thought about the values that guide you? If not, I recommend that you set aside some time to think about them, and identify your short list of what is truly central to the way you live.

Of course there are many attributes that matter to all of us. The challenge is to think of those that are most true, through and through, for you.

For instance, there may be lots of things that are important to you, like honesty, or boldness, dependability, honor, grace, success, uniqueness, patriotism, fidelity, piety, diligence, or security — to randomly name a few possibilities. 

When you think about things that ring true, consider if they are core values for you — if they always guide you. You can consider paired values, or related attributes, as I have in my short list above, as you get to your focused list.

And while you might want to think about where your core values originated, be certain all that you claim are yours! Remove anything on your list that’s imposed, or expected of you by others.

Aim to narrow your list to 6 to 8 core values.

How to use your list.

With your core values in hand, you have the opportunity to think about how you want to live into them.

Are there some values you want to expand, or go deeper with? For me, the realization that I had a long-held deep desire to explore more creative expression, but had allowed fear to limit me for so much of my life, finally supported me to enroll in a painting course. When I stopped stifling a core part of myself, and stepped into being an artist, my life changed in ways I never imagined would be so satisfying.

And remember that there are seasons in life when you can bring more focus to some of your values than had been possible at other times. Perhaps you will explore ways to expand the role of a key value as your life circumstances change.

Can you start to see new possibilities for yourself? Are there new ways to live your core values now, and new ways be bring them into your vision for the future, so you will live your biggest, best life?

Where will your core values take you?

Turning your attention to identifying your core values might feel like another “to-do” you don’t have time for. I get it. Life can be hectic.

And, your life can be enriched by creating space to consider what your core values are, and when you use them as a reference.

Making life decisions that are fully aligned with your values is very empowering. You are likely to feel clearer and bolder about your decisions when you have that resource to refer to.

If you would like to talk about core values and how they can help you move beyond what limits you into a future that will light you up, I invite you to schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me.

I would be delighted to help you gain insight and clarity about changes you are seeking to make, and how you can be a powerful creator in your life. 

I look forward to hearing from you.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

My mother’s lessons for all of us

If you read the email I sent to my subscribers last week, you know that I lost my mother, Doris Berenholz, on August 21.

While this has been a very hard and very sad week, it has also been eye opening in many ways.

I was enormously fortunate to have had my mother in my life for over 6 decades. She was 91 years old, and lived a full and rich life. And I am deeply grateful that my father is not only alive, but in good health. Not many people are so fortunate.

And, as much as I thought I knew what this week would bring, and thought that I knew my parents, I have learned so much that has deeply touched me.

Unexpected surprises

Because of COVID, we had a very small graveside funeral for my mother. As much as I missed being with more family and friends, the beautiful intimacy at the service, and in our time spent that afternoon in my sister's magical garden, was truly special. Dear cousins flew and drove to be with us, as did my son and his wife, despite the challenges of travel. And while we could not embrace, we held each other close in our hearts in a way that was remarkable. I hope that my mother's spirit could sense the love we all have for her, and the bonds of love between us.

I am a big believe in the power of love, but even I never expected it to be so palpably felt in this circumstance.

Also because of COVID, we were not able to welcome friends for shiva during the week. Zoom shivas have been going on for months, but this was the first time I was a mourner in such circumstances.

And there were gifts.

We were “with” family and friends from all over the world. That would never have been possible in “normal” times.

I was also able to see and hear from people who loved my mother, who I did not know, or had not seen in decades. One by one, they shared their remembrances of her — much of which I would likely have missed in a crowded room.

We leave a bigger legacy than we know

The most wonderful — and eye-opening — thing that happened, amidst the grief, was hearing so much, from so many people, about how my mother impacted their lives.

My mother touched people in so many lasting ways that I had never realized.

And much of what I did know and appreciate about her was described in ways that expanded and magnified the significance of her gifts.

Her generosity and her facility at starting — and maintaining — friendships was recounted in stories and with details I’d never heard.

She taught so many people meaningful things about cooking, art, and the ways that beauty enriches your life, that have impacted people’s entire lives. And her 70-year love affair with my father was noted as being a model for several marriages.

My mother helped people with advice about great ways to make their kitchens more efficient. She arranged people’s bookshelves with such beauty that they learned how to do the same elsewhere. She even sketched a guest house for cousins in France, that was built just as she drew it! She planned the interior, too, and that has made it a special, cherished place.

More than a few friends of mine and my sisters said they had always wanted to be the “the fourth Berenholz daughter” and live with my family. My mother was the person a number of teenage girls came to when they felt misunderstood by their parents. They also talked about all they learned from her, about art, food,  and surrounding yourself with beauty. One became an artist after my mother gave her an easel and oil paints. (All three of Mom’s daughters are artists, too.)

Girl Scouts from the troop she led in the 60’s talked about and sent us notes filled with stories. Her hikes and camping trips and love of nature, the work she had us do with orphans and foster children, and the ways she inspired each of them to follow their paths, changed their lives. She was less interested in having her scouts work toward merit badges; she cared about so much more than that.

What we can all learn from my mother

I do not think my mother had any idea of what an enormous legacy she left in the world. She was simply focused on all that she cared about: people, relationships, art, music, beauty, fine cooking, hospitality, nature, travel, social justice, and love.

The inspiration we can all take from her is to live a life that is true to who we are, and to savor each day. To share all of our gifts, and share them with a full heart. To love, and love more.

If we emulate her, when our time comes to an end, people will pour out stories about how we enriched their lives.

The ripple effect of a life well-lived, a life of love and generosity, is incalculable.

I am so grateful for all she taught me, and all the love she spread in the world.

What’s the legacy you want to create?

I can see how my mother’s influence played a huge role in bringing me to the woman I am today, doing the work I do in the world. I will be reflecting on this even more deeply in the days and weeks ahead.

If my mother’s story has prompted you to think more deeply about the life you want to life, and the legacy you want to leave, I invite you to spend some quiet time writing and exploring what emerges.

And if you would like to talk about the future you want to create, and how to get there, I invite you to schedule a Live Big Breakthrough Call with me.

I would be honored to help you gain insight and clarity about what you want, the changes you are seeking to make, and what may be limiting you. 

I look forward to hearing from you.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Do you hear the call?

We have lived through an extraordinary week. 

After the months of challenge and loss (on so many levels) due to the pandemic, the impact of living through this intense week has been remarkable. We have seen uncountable numbers of people show up and speak up to focus on racial justice. 

If you missed reading my call to join forces and become a Creator of Change last week, you can read my article here. 

In short, I wrote that I believe we must act, we must act now, and we must act with love. And it will be our collective action that will have the biggest impact.

If you have reached out to me, thank you. If you have taken action, thank you. If you want to join this effort, thank you — you are welcome!

Change will happen when we commit to acting in great numbers. Some will do more than others. We will all chose the action, or combination of actions that call us and that are realistic for us to commit to. 

And each of us can invite another into this effort, assuring them that even small actions count.

Here’s a great story that serves as an example.

I heard from a woman who described her morning walk on the beach, when she felt an urge to pick up a rock and write “peace + kindness” in the wet sand. She drew an awkward heart underneath. She wasn't sure anyone could even make out what she wrote. 

Having turned to walk back, she saw someone taking photos of her message.

Perhaps those photos will be posted on social media. Perhaps that person will share the story of finding the message with a friend or family member.

This is a lovely example of how even a very small gesture can spread important ideas. 

And, it was notable to me to see how surprising — and inspiring — it was for this woman to realize that her simple small action had touched another person.

What will your action be?

Will you donate to organizations doing work you want to support? 

Will you have a deep conversation with someone, even if it feels uncomfortable? 

Will you volunteer? (I have a colleague who will offer her design skills to amplify the message of an organization with a great cause. Someone wrote to tell me she will drive people to the polls on election day. Volunteering comes in many forms.)

If you need ideas and resources, start here

I have created a new Creators of Change Resource page on my site. It includes great information for educating ourselves, great organizations you can consider supporting, and some inspiration, too. 

It is a start, and I am eager to add to it. Please suggest other resources to help me expand the list. 

And, I welcome you to share the resources with your networks.

Will you join a new conversation?

I am hosting a new Zoom call for those who want to come together to talk about how we will each commit to take action, and to share what we are feeling, what we are learning, and more.

The Creators of Change call will be on Thursday, June 11, 8:30 am eastern.

Register here to join us.

As I wrote last week, when of all of us take some action — and inspire others to do so, too — we can create desperately needed change in our communities, our country and the world.

Leading like this is living big.

I look forward to seeing you on Thursday. And, if you can't be there, hit reply to be in touch.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

We must become creators of change

My heart aches. It has ached this way for a long time. 

For so many innocent people who are brutalized and senselessly killed for nothing more than the color of their skin. 

For injustice that has persisted for centuries and runs horribly deep. 

For the countless people in our country whose lives are in peril every day, who live in fear, who are sick, who are impoverished, and who are so often grieving. 

For the terrible division in our country, and knowing that so many people tolerate injustice. 

There is no reason for any of this other than hatred. I cannot accept hatred as normal. It is not normal. It never has been. It is wrong.

We cannot be silent. 
We must not be silent.

We can be creators of change.

Together, we can be a powerful collective force for change.

Will you join me?

Will you take action and be a leader in a movement to create change?

Will you be heard, and be seen?

Will you channel all of your emotion into creating change?

Because if we don’t do something new, nothing will change. 

I have wrung my hands and cried tears so many times in the past. I have taken some action, but not enough.

Now is the time for bold collective action.

We must elect leaders who will work for the change that is needed — from the local level to the top. 
Will you commit to ACT?

We must support programs that will help now, like donating to non-profits that provide bail money (this is one in Massachusetts), and there are many others you can look for. 
Will you commit to ACT?

We must support programs that will have long-term impact, such as the ACLU, programs to end police violence, enrichment programs for inner-city youth, education programs focused on tolerance, job training, and more. 
Will you commit to ACT?

We must act now, and act with love.

And, we can have our biggest impact if we act in concert.

What action — big or small (because a lot of small action adds up!) — can you take to start a bigger movement? A movement of the privileged and the oppressed. A movement fueled by love and not hate.

Let me know what you are already doing, and what you want to do. 

Let me know what resources you have found.

Let me know about ideas you create and new actions you take.

I want to be a force multiplier.

In a week or two, I will create a Zoom call for those of us who are committed to taking action. On this call we’ll have a conversation where we can share our ideas and connect pods of activity.

Together, we can have an impact. 

When of all of us are taking some action — and inspiring others to do so, too — we can create desperately needed change in our communities, our country and the world. 

Let me hear from you about how you want to be a creator of change — or leave a comment here.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Overcoming the biggest obstacle

We are all moving through and adjusting to our new, shared reality day by day. 

The topic that comes up most in conversation with the people I speak to on my weekly Zoom calls and with my clients, is how we are each making our way through our days.

Some are feeling grounded. Some are struggling. All are making adjustments.

And all of us experience ups and downs. It’s important to be compassionate with yourself when you are stressed. 

The biggest obstacle we face is not new to this moment, but it is playing an out-sized role: FEAR

I get it. Things are scary. But we can give ourselves time to feel into it, and then know that we don't have to let fear cripple us. In fact, the better we can learn techniques to manage fear and shift from it, the less it will hinder us.

Try these 3 great antidotes to fear

1. Live in the Present  

When you are able to be fully present in each moment, you get the gifts in the moment. You are not spinning out future scenarios, or replaying old stories.

Worry and fear can stay on the outside of that space.

When you are living in the present you can be grateful for what is good, what is beautiful, and what is meaningful right now. 

This focused attention also enables you to create the moment you want and need. And, it invites you to create a vision for what is possible to support you, as well as consider all that is possible. Your quiet mind is able to connect to your intuition, and new ideas are likely to show up.

My book, Live Big: A Manifesto for a Creative Life includes a chapter about living in the present, with practices that can help you to make being present a natural way of living. To get started right now, simply pause, take a few slow deep breaths, and notice how good that feels. There, you’ve made a start.

2. Love More  

Love is a huge antidote to fear. This is the time to stay connected! Spend time (by phone, or video call) with family, friends, business colleagues and clients.

How can you share more love? 
How can you beef up self-love with some extra self-care each day? 
How can love inspire new ways for you to be of service, or help more people? 

When you live from a place of love, everything is better and everything flows more easily. 

There’s a chapter titled Love More in my book, and there is also a gift I’ve offered in the book that helps you understand self-love and the self-critic. You can download that guide here — as well as a few guided meditations.

3. Stay in Action   

Being active is a fabulous way to keep fear at bay. And it works in a few ways:

Be physically in motion: 

Find ways to move each day. Take a walk and connect to nature and the sky. Do an on-line yoga class or other exercise class (so many great ones are available now). Get up and stretch, or dance, or both! 

Create expressively: 

Choose something that will be fun. 

• Do you love using your hands? Do some knitting or a crafty project. 

• Do you enjoy cooking (or are you learning to cook now that take-out and restaurants are not your go-to way of feeding yourself)? Play with ingredients. Try new combinations or seasonings. Plate you food with attention to beauty.

• Do you feel called to draw or play with colors? Find some markers, pencils or paints and make a little creative station (your kitchen table is fine). Or pull out some old magazines and glue, and make collages. 

• Make virtual “creative dates” with someone and share your creations.

Take steps to implement new ideas: 

Remember the new ideas that showed up when you slowed down and started living in the present? Think about what small first steps you can map out, and start doing them. Is it a new way to serve your clients, as you see new needs arise? Is it a new way to stay connected with people far away? Is it a new way you want to experiment with creativity?

Commit to taking at least one new step each day. Momentum will build, even if you find yourself iterating and adjusting. Day after day, you will be in motion!

I am here. I want to support you.

My third Creating Our Way Forward Zoom call on Sunday included a wonderful group of big-hearted women from all over the country. We came together to connect, share and learn new ways to navigate in these challenging times. 

I will offer another call on Sunday, April 5 at 3:00 eastern. I'm eager to guide everyone through practices and insights for more ways to live well in these times.

Register here to join me.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

Finding our way

We've all been saying it — what a difference a week has made. We are living in a different reality now.

Advice fills my inbox from all sorts of well-meaning, big-hearted people. So, I will keep my ideas to the point, and hope they are helpful.

1. Stay safe

There are lots of adjustments to make, but the basics are pretty straightforward. Clean hands. Clean surfaces. Stay home, and when you must go out, stay far from others and wash hands and surfaces even more diligently.

2. Lower the volume

Listening to the news all day, social media scrolling, and conversations filled with worry and rehashing are not helpful. Shift to short news check-ins two to three times a day and steer conversations in new directions (or curtail them).

3. Stay connected

We are blessed to live at a time where technology is available so that we can be in community virtually. It's not the same as in person, but it is a blessing. Tap into virtual offerings that help, such as yoga instruction, groups of like-minded people doing positive things together, online courses, and more.

And reach out to neighbors. Who needs help — even just a call to check in? We have a neighbor who offered to add our grocery needs to her list, and we will do the same for her next week. Think about how you can support others.

4. Practice gratitude

See number 3 above, and consider everything for which you can be grateful. When you look for it, there's a lot for which to be grateful!

5. Stay calm, ward off fear

Fear will not keep you safe. In fact, the stress it induces will lower your immunity. And, it clouds your thinking. We need to think clearly now more than ever! I have written about dealing fear in various contexts in past posts. You can check out this article, And this one. And one more.

This is the time to stay positive! And step #6 will help you do that.

6. Create each day

Consider your opportunities to create in two ways:

     A. Create to express yourself, dispel anxiety and open your heart. You can do this in countless ways, so try as many as you want. Start by choosing a playful frame of mind, to open your heart, then let creativity flow with ease. Doodle. Arrange food in a funny way on your plate. If you have a coloring book, spend some time with it. Play an instrument or dance to music of any kind. Collage with scraps of paper and cloth. Create on your own and invite others to join you on Zoom or post to one another in a text thread. As I said, there is no limit to how you can create. It’s a perfect way to lift your spirits.

     B. Consider how you can create new ways of serving, working, thinking. Approach everything with curiosity and ask, "What if?" as you prompt yourself to think more broadly. Is there a new way you can collaborate with colleagues? A new offering to create for your clients? Can you add value for your clients or customers? Often, constraints — like the constraints these times are imposing — can spur the most effective new ways of thinking and doing things. Challenge yourself to think differently. Reach out to people and think together about new approaches and possibilities.

7. Keep loving

Love yourself with good self-care of every kind. Love the people around you and find ways to let them know they are loved. Let love be the inspiration for all of the ways you can serve and create now. Let it be the guiding force in your life.

I am here to support you in two ways

I was moved to offer an open conversation I called Creating the Way Forward on Saturday via Zoom. It was wonderful to have time with great women to process and share and inspire one another other in many beautiful ways.

I will offer another Creating the Way Forward conversation again soon. If you are on my email list, look for an email from me, or check my posts on social media for the next session, and request a link to join in. 

And, reach out to me if you want some one-on-one support. I have opened three spots on my calendar this week for free Creating My Way calls, and will continue to offer them in the weeks ahead. Reach out to request one.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

We always get to choose

I recently got a wake-up call. You know the kind. When someone you love has died, and someone else you love is suddenly diagnosed with advanced illness, a lot shifts into perspective.

The big question that moves to the top of the mental list becomes, “What really matters?” 

And truly, that’s the question we need to be considering each day. That’s where our attention is best placed.

Do you have clarity about your priorities? If not, this is a great time to slow down and give it some thought.

Next, consider these three questions:

1. Are you choosing fear or love?

It’s easy to get caught up in fear — about viruses, about what’s around the next corner, about the political climate, and so much more.

When we allow fear to run the show we are inviting roadblocks to get in the way of what we decided was really important. 

Instead, we can orient ourselves to operate from the space of love.

What does that look like? 

It means choosing to love ourselves. We can focus on ramping up self-care, like getting plenty of sleep, and walking outdoors, or meditating to stay calm. Even something as simple as taking a minute or two to get quiet and tune into your breath works wonders.

We can also focus on love as we connect more to important people in our lives. These may be people we see every day, at home or work, as we make space for especially meaningful conversations. It may be reaching out to people we care about but have not spoken to in a long time.

When we operate with an orientation of love, we not only help ourselves and feel more positivity and happiness, but love ripples out in beautiful ways.

2. Are you choosing action?

After getting focused on what matters to you, are you setting intentions to get into action and stay in motion? Ideas are great, but many people stop there. It’s in commiting to actively doing that you will find satisfaction.

There’s a bonus to being in action, too. When we are active — whether we’re physically active, or actively engaged in an important project — fear has less opportunity to limit us.

3. Are you choosing inspiration?

There are many ways to stay energized and inspired. Rather than being caught up in drama, intentionally turn your attention to things that keep you energized.

Did you read inspiring stories on International Women's Day? Did you meet someone whose ideas are remarkable? Did you read a fabulous book or see a great film? Did you spot wonder around you (maybe see a surprising way the light filtered in your window, or hear a magical bird call)?

When you choose to bring your attention back to people and ideas and art that inspire you, you have incredible fuel to keep pursuing the things you’ve determined matter most.

We all have the opportunity to grow and expand day by day, as we make choices with care. We all have important work to bring into the world, unhindered by fear. 

What better way could there be to respond to a wake-up?

Leave a comment and share the ways you are choosing to focus your attention and efforts.

And, if you are curious about how coaching can support you to live your best life — as you are pondering what’s next, or if you feel stuck, or as you are navigating a big transition — let’s make a date to talk. Private Creative Core Coaching might be a life-changing resource for you. 

I currently have one more spot available for one-on-one coaching. And with the exciting activity that’s developing around my book, Live Big: A Manifesto for a Creative Life, I may not be taking on additional private clients for some time. 

If you are ready to take a serious step to start living the life you yearn for, it can start here.

How to bring more love into your life — and into the world.

This is the week we are surrounded with messages about love — and flowers, sweets, date-nights, gifts, cards, and romance.

Now, I am always delighted to receive a bouquet of flowers and spend a romantic evening with my amazing husband. And I am delighted to shower those I love with expressions of affection.

But I think about love more broadly, and more frequently, than on Valentine’s Day and birthdays and anniversaries.

And I know that when you actively bring more focus on love into your life, big things happen.

In fact, there's a chapter in my new book, Live Big: A Manifesto for a Creative Life, titled LOVE MORE. Some of what I write about may surprise you, and that chapter includes some wonderful ways to think about and bring more love into your life.

One special way to begin to love more is to practice self-love.

I have written about self-love in Februaries past.

Check out what self-love is and how to bring more of it into your life. And, this post expands on the benefits of practicing self-love. 

Why not see what happens in your life when you make a small effort to focus on self-love?

Is it hard to build self-love? No, if you consciously focus on it.

Can you start small? Yes!

If you are looking for a small act of self-love that can you practice today, think about how you can do something special for yourself.

Here are a few ideas to consider:

• Take a short break in your hectic day to be in quiet for a few minutes. Looking up at the sky makes those few minutes even more special.

• Stop to briefly sit and savor a lovely thought.

• Gently (and with love) say, “No,” to someone who makes a request that will add stress to your life.

Doing small things, and doing them often will build your self-love muscles.

As I have experienced — and as I see the impact for my clients when they practice self-love — great things happen when you consciously nurture self-love. 

Robust self-love will not only make you happier, you will find that you can bring more love of every kind into your life and into the lives of others around you in remarkable ways. And when that happens, more love will come to you.

And, most exciting of all is that when you love more, the magnificent impact of love grows all around you. Goodness knows, the world is in need of more love now than ever before.

Let’s all love more!

Together we can begin to expand the power of love all around us.

Are you in?

f you said, “Yes!” here’s how we can start together.

Write a short loving note to someone. It could be to a sweetheart, a child, a friend, or even to someone with whom there's been a rift in the relationship. Whether you choose to write by hand on note paper, or pick a card to write in, or send a note via email, you will contribute to a beautiful collective energy that we are creating together!

My holiday gift for you

Whether you are busy cooking, or traveling, hanging out and relaxed, or stressed over last-minute tasks as this email catches your eye, the holidays are impacting all of in us in one way or another.

I have a few wishes — and invitations — for you right now (that I welcome you to share as widely as you like).

I wish you holidays filled with light and love.
I wish you time to savor all that is wonderful in your life.
I invite you to create space to contemplate what you truly want.
I invite you to look for opportunities for rich conversations.
I invite you to create from the energy of whatever emotions show up, in any way you are moved to do that.
I invite you to bring play and laughter into your life.
I invite you to remember the importance of self-care, and do something special for yourself every day.
I invite you to slow down so that everything will be easier (and better).
I wish you happy anticipation about the possibilities that lie ahead for you.
I wish you willingness and commitment to pursue what deeply matters to you.
I wish you peace and joy.

Sent to you with love and gratitude.

A time for self-awareness and self-care

I hope your Thanksgiving was filled with love, gratitude and good company.

We are now at the start of a new week, and a new month. It’s December — the last month of 2019, and the last month of this decade!

You may feel inspired and fired up as you think about the ways you want to end the year and move into the new decade. If so, go for it!

And… I am hearing from many of my clients and acquaintances that they are feeling pressured, and many are finding motivation hard to come by.

If you relate to feeling a lack of motivation to go big right now, it’s easy to start beating yourself up.

But I invite you to consider that there’s another way to look at things.

Give up the struggle

The idea that you are a slacker if you are not always in high gear, feeling fired up, and planning and doing on a grand scale, is fueled by external messages.

We are bombarded with advice on how to “crush it” — crush our goals, crush it at work, crush our workouts at the gym. The language itself is enough to stress you out.

And, you may be wired to push yourself hard. I’m all for high standards and commitment, but many of us hear a persistent inner voice that propels us to go way overboard, and belittles us when we don’t.

Especially as we head into a busy holiday season and the end-of-year demands at work, this is the perfect time to be gentle with yourself.

Pushing too hard is counterproductive

When you try and muscle through, you not only exhaust yourself and feel awful (physically and/or emotionally), you are likely to get less done.

When you slow down and focus on something important (rather than lot of things and at a frantic pace), you will get more done. I had a hard time believing it would work, until I tried it.

Now, when I feel overwhelmed, I choose something that is deserving of my attention. I put everything else aside for a while. I gently bring my focused attention to that effort. The results of taking this approach are always terrific, and so satisfying.

Listen to your body and your emotions

If you feel the need to slow down, by all means build in time for more rest, more thoughtfulness, more time with cherished people, more ease.

The messages you receive from your inner voice and your intuition are always reliable. Our bodies may demand that we slow down, too. If we are not tuned in and responsive, a GI upset or nasty cold may show up and force us to slow down.

Self-care is rarely high on our to-do lists, but it’s so important! No matter how much there is to be done, be sure you honor yourself and build self-care into your days.

This is a time to create with intention

When a lack of motivation or the need to take things a bit slower shows up (and your self-care plan for a soak in the tub, savoring a soothing cup of tea, taking a nap, or going for a walk is in place), try adopting a new approach.

Think about what you desire. What is important right now? What matters? You may want to do some journaling to explore ideas. (And if you’ve learned it, put my Discovery Dozen™ exercise to work.)
Then gently bring your focus to that matter. If you feel clear about the steps to take, start in slowly and with focus. Acknowledge yourself for taking a small, doable step. Then take the next one — and acknowledge yourself again.

If you are unsure about what you want to focus on, get curious. What are the options to consider for moving ahead? With an idea or two, ask: What interesting approaches can I devise to test out this idea? This is a moment to bring creativity forward and explore possibilities.

Commit to making a small effort and seeing how it works out. Celebrate the wins, and adjust course when better ideas and new insights emerge.

And continue on the path — gently.

You don't need to struggle. Momentum will build naturally.

I’d love to hear about how you are feeling now, and what you want to approach with ease. Leave a comment below.

And if you are looking for clarity, focus, momentum and accountability in your life, let’s talk. I will be enrolling a new group coaching program early next year, and it may be the perfect opportunity for you as we move into 2020. I’ll be happy to tell you about it.

Poetry to open your heart

Poetry is magical. I am in awe of those who use words to they elevate ideas and communicate directly with our hearts. Here’s a favorite, and I will share others from time to time.

Reading powerful poems has inspired me to write my own, too.

Why not play with words to express what you are feeling and thinking? Your poems need not rhyme. Simply start with an idea or emotion and see what emerges as you chose and arrange words with brevity, playfulness, fresh imagery, and joy.

True Joy

Release the past
Release the pain
Look forward
Smile

This place
Is where I’m meant to be
My true calling
My destiny

To be in joy
To bring on joy
To celebrate
Me

Excited
Amazed
Open
Is who I want to be

Ready for a
New adventure
Diving into the unknown
Rising
Up
Up
Up
And taking the world
Along for the ride.

– Peleg Top

Has the time come to change a relationship (or two)?

In my recent post, I encouraged you to think about the people with whom you spend time. I asked you to think about who lifts you up, and if there are relationships you find challenging, or downright unhealthy.

I provided some guidance for how to think about people on the difficult end of that spectrum, if any come to mind.

Check it out, in case you missed it.

After providing some mindset scaffolding to help you consider what can be an uncomfortable issue, I posed two questions to ask yourself if you determine that making a change in the relationship will be in your best interest — if, like a tree or shrub, some pruning of the relationship is called for.

Here are the questions I offered for you to consider:

• Do I want to set a boundary, so that I will stay in contact with this person, but with less frequency?
• Is it time to disengage from this person completely?

Depending on which question you answered with a “Yes,” here’s how you can take action.

How to lovingly set a boundary on the number, or frequency, of interactions you have

Perhaps you are weary of daily calls, frequent texts, or a routine way of getting together with someone. (This could be anything from an obligatory weekly meal to an annual outing that you are ready to move on from.)

If you’ve concluded that staying in the relationship would be fine if the times and ways you connected were less intrusive, initiate a change. Think about how much happier you will be after setting better boundaries.

Plan to have a brief conversation

It may feel harder to speak with someone than to send a letter or an email. But this is a relationship that has a degree of importance to you (or you would opt to end it), and a conversation honors that. Further, sending a written message can be tricky, as the tone you intend to convey may be misconstrued by the reader.

Thoughtful preparation is in order. This is an opportunity to think creatively about the change you want to propose.

You might say that while you value the relationship and want to stay in touch, you are focused on important commitments in your life and you need to switch to a monthly or seasonal check-in — or some other proposed change.

Well in advance of an unappealing annual event, you can let that person know that your plans have changed this year, or that your time together will be shorter, or that you have an alternative location to suggest — or some other idea for how to stay connected.

Keep your communication simple and direct

Don’t allow yourself to be pulled into drama, if that shows up. Focus on love for yourself as well as for that person, and loving energy will come across.

When it’s time to disengage from a relationship and move on

If you realize there's a toxic dimension to being in relationship to this person and you’d be happier and healthier without them in your life, this is the time to initiate a change.

Your message can be expressed with kindness

While a conversation is often ideal, written communication can work as well, or may be better. Base your decision on the approach that will work best with that person, and try not to let fear enter into your reasoning.

Stay clear of drama. Calmly communicate that you need to take an extended break, or that it's time for you to move on from the relationship. It’s not necessary to over-explain or to be accusatory — focus on your need to make this change. As noted above, keep the communication simple and direct, and keep love in your heart as you speak or write.

Will it be easy to initiate changes like these?

Depending on the relationship you are thinking about, it may call on you to dig deep for courage — and a commitment to your own needs — to take a step like this.

And, it may be easier to make this change than you imagine.

If you are wavering, consider this important question:

Do you value yourself enough to take this step?

This question may touch a nerve. I have been there, and I’ve guided many of my clients to take courageous action like this.

It helps to think about how you will feel after you’ve moved ahead.

Envision the benefits of making this change

As I have experienced and seen many times, being on the other side of making a change that you are called to initiate is a great place to be. It opens space and possibilities and opportunities. It brings a feeling of lightness into your life.

And you will experience your ability to do something important, that will help you take more courageous action in the future.

I hope you will choose to surround yourself with people who truly support you, believe in you, and want only the best for you. Pruning unhealthy relationships has terrific rewards — and will set the stage for you to thrive!

Leave a comment below if you have thoughts to share about this subject.

And, if you want to talk about what it could look like to have support to bring important changes like these into your life, let’s schedule a call and talk about that (it’s a complimentary call). Start by answering some questions, so I’ll know more about what’s on your mind, and we’ll get the process started.