Here's how to get unstuck

My work as a coach is focused on helping women to take action in their lives — action that will help them make the changes they desire in the short-term, and actions that in time will help them create the fulfilling lives they yearn for.

And for many women it can be a challenge to take action.

Before you commit to taking action, and especially a bold action that will move you beyond your comfort zone, you need to be clear about a few things.

Do you know what you want?

When I speak to women and ask what they want, many struggle to answer the question.

Some women are disconnected from their hearts and desires. When that seems to be the case, I patiently ask, “What do you want?” over and over, until something jogs her heart open and the woman connects to things she really desires.

Sometimes there is a feeling of unworthiness that keeps a woman from knowing what she desires, or daring to say it aloud. When this becomes apparent, we dive into what has made her feel that she is not deserving of what she wants.

And some women are absolutely clear about what they want. They want more love, or to reach the next level in their career, or more space in their lives, or to regain lost confidence, or to figure out what’s next, or new adventures.

How clear are you about what you want?

Are you willing to commit?

Knowing what you want is a necessary starting point to bring change into your life.

Yet sadly, many people say they want to do something or change something, and are stuck.

Actually taking action to make any kind of change takes courage and commitment.

Depending on the change you are clear about wanting to make, the level of courage that will be called for can be can be quite small, or it can be — or feel — significant. 

Finding the courage that is required and then being willing to commit to taking action is the only way to bring change into your life. 

The willingness to commit circles right back to how meaningful your desired change is — in your heart and mind.

When the desire is clear, it is easier to embrace the mystery of what it will take to make change and engage in the process of moving in that direction.

With a big desire, and an important “why” behind it, being willing to make a commitment will catapult you into finding a way to move forward.

Are you ready to take inspired action?

If you feel ready to initiate a change, know that you can start by taking small (even tiny) steps. Committing to moving forward consistently is how the magic unfolds.

And if you are ready to take bigger, bolder steps, that’s great too.

I invite you to take inspired action today!

Ask the question. Speak up. Do that thing that feels a bit uncomfortable but lets you shine. Set the boundary. Go for it.

And if you want support to make it easier and faster to bring desired change into your life, let’s connect. (Email me and we’ll make a date to talk.)

I’m rooting for you!

Empower your well-being

Attendees of the conference wrote the ways they wanted to Live Big, and adorned small trees on the book table

It was a great pleasure (and a lot of fun!), to speak at the R.I.S.E. Women’s Leadership Conference in Providence Rhode Island last week.

1200 great women attended the dynamic 1-day conference to network, focus on personal development, and hear speakers and panelists address themes on gender and racial inequity, how to navigate challenging dynamics in the workplace, cultivating resilience, and ways to lead a healthy, happy life when work and life feel overwhelming.

In addition to my contributions to the panel discussion on how to live your best life (to a standing-room-only audience!) it was a joy to be among the speakers who are authors. It was great to sign books for attendees.

I met amazing women all day and engaged in terrific conversations from beginning to end.

Looking for great ideas to live happier?

Consider adopting some of the ideas that were shared in the panel discussion I was a part of:

⭐ Self-care is not a nice-to-have, it is crucial. As fellow-panelist and health coach Kristen Reed suggested, you can “snack” on small 5-minute or 10-minute practices during the day when it is not possible to devote 30 or 60 minutes to taking care of your health. Pause and breathe, get up, move and stretch for a few minutes, have some healthy snacks on hand. These count!

⭐ Leslie Ford, of Mom’s Hierarchy of Needs, shared that her favorite way to start the day is to go out for a run, but that sometimes she settles for a 10-minute jog on a treadmill mid-morning. For her, some running each day is non-negotiable so she always finds a way. And, she is bringing programs into companies to help employers better support working moms.

⭐ Panel moderator Precious Clouthier said that she recently blocked off Fridays on her calendar. While she sometimes chooses to add an appointment on a Friday, making that a day she is intentional about, and that feels spacious, has helped her to run her coaching business and raise her twin 6-year-old boys without feeling frazzled.

⭐ Among the ideas I shared, were to start your day with some type of morning practice that will ground you, set you up with the most positive frame of mind possible, and support you to focus with clear intention throughout your day. (You can check out what I wrote on this topic last spring.)

I also led the audience in practicing some easy ways to take momentary pauses in the midst of a hectic day, with box breathing and “butterfly tapping.” These are excellent ways to come back to the present when you feel frazzled and calm your nervous system when you you feel anxious. (I’d be glad to guide you through these techniques. Email me and we can hop on a quick call.)

And, of course, I spoke about how to bring a creative mindset to everything you do. You will have more agency in your life and be able to move ahead in the best ways, no matter what comes at you.

I also spoke about how activating creative pursuits (of any kind that you enjoy) will connect you to your heart and open up your spirit.

When you aim to add delight by doing something expressive and fun (even if it's to simply doodle for a few minutes with colored pens), even the toughest days are brighter.

Adopt one small idea now

It can feel exciting to consider making lots of changes at once. The truth is that choosing a single idea to be conscious of is the way to test and find a practice that will have a meaningful impact for you. Then you can stick with it.

Why not choose one now and see how it works for you? Then return to other ideas that sparked your interest and give another a try. It won’t be long before you find a small set of new approaches that are ideal for you.

Here are some photos captured at the wonderful day at the R.I.S.E. Women’s Leadership Conference. The little trees with lights were filled with cards where women wrote down how they want to live big.

Creating Lasting Change with Simple Daily Habits

We all know how much focus athletes and musicians place on practicing. This is how even enormously accomplished athletes and musicians hone and fine-tune their skills to perform at their best.

Have you thought about what you practice on a regular basis?

In addition to thinking about practicing a skill such as being a better negotiator, or communicating more effectively, or developing your writing abilities, there are subtle ways that a focus on practice can improve your life.

Embrace practices that will help you thrive

The way you think and orient yourself each day has a remarkable impact on your life. Consider choosing to adopt some of these 4 practices.

1. Practice positivity

You can develop a "practice" of approaching everything in your day with a positive frame of mind. Choose to bring awareness to your thoughts, then consciously choose a positive lens through which to see and approach things throughout each day.

This is not to suggest that you push tough emotions aside when they show up!

Let yourself feel them, then do something to process them (such as writing about the feelings, talking things out with a close confidant, or taking a brisk walk). This will allow the difficult emotions space to dissipate.

Then choose positive thoughts and take positive steps forward.

2. Practice self-love

When you make self-love a focus, and include self-care as a way of emphasizing self-love, you build a remarkable foundation for wellbeing. Focusing your practice on small, consistent practices will be wonderfully effective. 

Your practice can include attending to physical wellbeing, like getting ample sleep, good nutrition and moving your body.

Your practice can be boosted when you include self-affirming thinking, choosing to set good boundaries, noticing when your self-critical thoughts show up, and choosing to believe in yourself in spite of the doubts.

And be sure to acknowledge yourself whenever you do something that is just outside of your comfort zone!

These are all self-loving, supportive, positive ways to move through each day.

3. Practice generosity

When you focus on generosity you get the satisfaction of contributing to the wellbeing of others, as well as the betterment of the world! 

And the benefits to you are significant. A regular practice of generosity reduces stress and anxiety, boosts to your immune system, and may even lead to longer life expectancy. 

4. Practice gratitude

Making a focus on gratitude a daily practice elevates your state of mind and enhances the outcomes of everything you do.

You might begin or end each day by noting 5 things (or more) for which you are grateful. Be sure to consider small, subtle things you can put on your list.

This will open your heart, and positive thoughts will be a natural outcome of your gratitude practice.

And there’s a bonus! Your expansive energy will be felt by everyone around you.

Practice with intention!

Deciding to start a practice is great. It’s when you bring clear intention to how and when you will practice that there is a higher likelihood that you will make this practice an ongoing, natural way of living.

You might start each day by setting an intention for great energy and a positive, can-do outlook. One part of my morning ritual is writing for 5 to 10 minutes about the energy I want to cultivate for my day, noting what I feel grateful for, and letting anything else that wants to come to the surface and be considered flow onto the page. I am then ready to get into motion. 

After establishing an orientation for the day (in whatever way works for you), you can bring a focus to the practice or practices you feel will be most supportive for you that day.

As you make a few new practices a regular part of your life, they will become automatic (like brushing your teeth twice a day without having to think about it). You can then easily add a new practice to make your focus.

As you practice, you are in the process of creating your best life — and there are no limits to what is possible for you!

Finding purpose amidst change: your journey starts now

Now that the transition from summer to fall is here, things have likely shifted for you. 

Schedules and routines change in many families. Traffic is heavier, requiring extra time to get around. The pace of life and work often picks up as more meetings and events fill the calendar.

And, sometimes shifts come to light slowly.

I felt something subtle shifting for me last year, and have been going through a period of change for many months. What was vague in my awareness at the start has become clear, and exciting shifts have been occurring for me over the last months.

I began to see a path to having bigger impact with my work, and more personal satisfaction. I have been speaking more and love it. I was moved to create 2 new retreats, Creation Vacation to start the year, and L’Aventure Française in the fall. Both provide longer, deeper experiences. And the 3-day Live Big Live! retreat I have loved leading for 4 years is now only offered each spring. 

I am also doing more work inside of organizations, where cohorts of women are engaged in learning together and having a bigger collective impact.

Making these changes entailed gaining clarity, then committing to taking action and allowing things to unfold over time.

Do you feel that things may be changing for you?

Whether there’s a change in play now that feels exciting, motivating, or nerve-racking, or something simply feels like it may be beginning to shift, each of us is always changing.

Let’s look at what may be going on for you.

How are you changing now? 

Pause and take stock of the ways you are changing. 

Whether you feel most comfortable staying static or relish things that are new and novel, change is inevitable!

Take a thoughtful look at what is happening in you as well as around you.

Are you aware of changes in your ways of operating, or how you are feeling or thinking? 

Perhaps you are excited and eager about something you’e involved with.

Perhaps there’s something you want to stop doing, or begin to do, and are considering how you will move forward.

Perhaps you yearn to do something inspiring, new or exciting that feels missing now.

Perhaps change is being imposed on you, and you realize it presents an opportunity. Or, maybe an imposed change has brought on fear.

Maybe you feel stuck, for a reason you are of aware of, or not.

Perhaps you have a hunch something is brewing and are patiently allowing clarity to emerge. 

And, it is likely that there are several changes in the mix for you. 

The good news is that when you bring awareness and add intention to how you want to respond to the changes that you identify, great outcomes are possible.

Move forward with intention

You can realize great outcomes when you choose your response to a change that is underway, rather than drift along (which sadly, is what most people do).

Perhaps you have tended to drift through life. I certainly did for a very long time.

I had ideas and took initiative. I started and ran a great business, and was a leader in many settings. But looking back I can see all of the ways I was not fully intentional — that I was drifting.

It was not until I started to take a clear look at my life (with the help of a wonderful coach whose questions prompted big awareness), that I realized I was no longer lit up by my work. I came to know I was ready to make a significant change. And making that change — selling my business — set me on the best path ever.

With awareness, you, too, can choose a clear direction and begin to move in that direction.

The change you choose to make your focus and pursue may be small and meaningful, or you may feel ready to make a bold change.

Whatever you make your focus and bring commitment to doing can have a life-changing impact.

I invite you to bring awareness to the changes you are facing and feeling now.

Then consider your best way forward and set your intention to take action, knowing you can course-correct over and over.

You will be on a meaningful path on your journey to true fulfillment.

Email me — I welcome you to share what is up for you now and the steps you are choosing to start with.

The power of intuition

As I used to rush through my days, I rarely slowed down to pay attention to small intuitive messages I occasionally received as whispers of warning.

And when I did get a feeling that something was amiss — like that a new prospective client was going to be hard to work with, or something felt “off” about a situation, I often ignored or over-rode the message.

I would convince myself it would be ok, or that my team would be able to handle the matter, or that it was not really something to take so seriously. 

Invariably, my initial instinct was correct.

I would have been wise to trust and heed that small voice in my head.

Sadly, when I ignored those intuitive messages, the reality sometimes turned out to be worse than I had a hunch it might be.

I finally decided to pay attention and to trust my gut.

Do you hear what your gut is telling you?

When you are perpetually busy it’s hard to hear the messages your gut — your intuition, your second brain — is sending you.

Even still, getting a “feeling” that something is not a good idea has happened for nearly all of us.

If you recall something like that, you have evidence. 

The fact is, your intuition is powerful and has a lot to tell you. The key is to create the conditions to hear what it’s saying, and then to actually listen to what you hear.

How to clearly hear the small voice inside you

It’s hard to hear what intuition wants you to know when your attention is focused on doing, or you are constantly checking in on your phone or otherwise filling your brain with “input”.

Instead, create a little quiet. Sit. Breathe slowly. Walk outside. Meditate. Take any sort of break without doing anything productive. 

You may be surprised at what shows up when you consistently make space for some quiet in your life. (Even a few minutes a day works wonders.)

The more you practice this, the more it will feel like a normal part of your life. And more messages from that wise voice inside are likely to come up.

Why it can be hard to trust your gut — and how to build that trust

A big reason people ignore or over-ride intuitive messages is fear. 

When you are afraid to give up a new project, or leave a job that makes you miserable, or stay away from someone who may be a risk to your wellbeing — even when red lights of warning start flashing inside — you are likely to convince yourself it will all be fine. 

When uncertainty about what might come next feels too risky, or you habitually try to please someone, or not disappoint them, fear convinces you to mistrust the voice inside that’s telling you “Pay attention!”

Being able to recognize when fear is at play, and see how it is aiming to influence you, you can look at a situation with fresh eyes.

You can remind yourself that your inner voice knows a lot and is trust-worthy.  Look again at what it is urging you to consider. Proceed with eyes open and make choices that will ultimately serve you best.

Over time, you will have evidence that your “second brain” is filled with great wisdom and is a trustworthy guide.

It’s time to listen and trust

Take a moment to slow things down and get quiet today. Listen — to the subtle sounds around you and to messages that may show up.

Be patient. It may take a while for you to hear intuitive messages. 

They will come.

And they may come at unexpected times, like in the midst of a conversation, or while doing something routine, like washing dishes or driving a route you know so well it does not take a lot of concentration.

As you spot them, listen, trust, and choose your best way forward. You are sure to see how powerful your second brain is — and how powerful you are as you move ahead to create your best life.

Ready to ignite your soul?

I am passionate about travel, and the impact that visiting new places has always had for me. In addition to visiting major sites, I love looking for special out of the way spots, hidden gems. 

And when I had the opportunity to live in Paris for a month last year, where I made many incredible discoveries, I started dreaming of bringing a group of women to France for a retreat.

I wanted them to be able to step away from their busy lives, experience the magic of Paris, and then spend time in the glorious countryside — where they could reflect, create, and integrate the inspiration of culture, spirit, art, history and food from the time in Paris.

I also dreamed of each of them returning home with incredible energy, fresh perspectives, and elevated excitement about their lives and work.

Do you yearn for a travel adventure that will ignite your heart and light up your life?

Imagine a spectacular trip to France with a small group of amazing women. After 5 days exploring Paris, you will travel to Southwest France to spend 6 more days in a superb retreat center in the countryside. You will be nurtured, play, create with ease, and connect to your creative core as never before.

This retreat — L’Aventure Française — is a remarkable opportunity to step out of your routine and embark on a life-changing experience!

You will have private coaching time with me before and during the retreat, and bond with amazing women. You will not only revel in the joy of exploring, you will cultivate powerful creative energy.

• Your elevated energy will impact you personally and professionally.

• You’ll have the satisfaction of bringing new agency to all you do.

• You’ll feel more fulfilled each day, and experience more joy.

• You’ll bring full self-expression and inspiration to everything you think and do.

• Your natural state of being will be elevated.

If you are excited to think about the possibilities, this opportunity may be perfectly timed for you. We start in Paris November 6 and return November 18.

And November is right around the corner! Now’s the time for us to talk, as only 2 spots are still open.

Email me and I will send you all the details,

And if you feel excited about the possibility of this adventure, we’ll make a date to talk. I will answer your questions, fill you in fully, and we’ll see if the fit is right.

Creating connections: energize your path with passionate people

With the Olympics just concluded, and having returned a few days ago from the National Speakers Association’s annual conference, Influence, I am reminded of something important that I always want to keep top of mind: the people we choose to surround ourselves with matter! They can lift us up, inspire us, and make us better.

It was exciting to see the way that great athletes raised one another up — those on their own teams, and often competitors from other countries. 

I experienced the same energy of generosity and enthusiasm at the Influence conference. Speakers of great renown were happy to share their insights and ideas in informal conversations, with people who were just starting or building their speaking careers. And being in the company of speakers who are passionate about the topics they share, and excited about the impact they have, felt electric.

When you are conscious about creating connections with people who are fired up and generous, who are committed to showing up boldly and doing big things, that energy supports you to feel passionate and motivated.

And when you are generous and inspired around others, the positive energy builds! 

I feel more excited than ever to support great women to boldly create the lives they desire. I want to do it on stages and in coaching engagements. I love leading retreats, where women go deep together in great places. I am fired up when I bring my work into organizations, to guide women to show up boldly and have their biggest impact.

By developing my offerings and doing my work alongside other bold creators, I always learn, and the energy I bring to everything I do always expands. 

Reach out and see what happens

Who can you contact today who is full of bold ideas and energy, who creates new opportunities, who will generously share with you, and who will see you in your highest light? 

You may be thinking of someone like that now. Invite them to connect, one-on-one or in a small group. 

You may be thinking of an existing community of people (maybe like those at the Influence conference that I attended) that you want to tap into in a bigger way.

When you choose to have more contact with even a small number of people who are filled with enthusiasm, ideas, and big hearts, you will have given yourself a priceless gift.

Venturing beyond comfort zones

This past weekend I attended a writing retreat. A year and a half ago I ventured into the world of personal writing for the first time, having no idea of whether I would like it, and harboring doubt that I would be “good at it.”

It’s easy to shy away from new things

Writing had not been easy or fun for me in school and long after I entered the work world. When I started sending out my Big Ideas newsletters a decade ago, I easily found topics I wanted to share but I did not write with ease. 

As with most things, when you care about doing something — in my case, having ideas I was passionate about sharing — it is easy to commit to doing it. And the more you stick with doing that thing the more you facility you develop for doing it.

Writing weekly articles has become far easier, and something I now do with joy.

But the idea of trying to write from my heart — personal stories or fictional essays — seemed mysterious and daunting.

Did I have a big “WHY” for trying it, like I have for my weekly articles?

Not really.

Did I have curiosity about trying a new expressive form with the guidance of a teacher I’d met who seemed like a gentle and gifted person?

Yes.

I have become more and more willing to step out of my comfort zone as I’ve strengthened the muscles of being a creator in a broad range of ways.

So I challenged myself to explore this new medium and experience what “writing from the deep voice” could feel like.

The act of creating can be challenging

Meeting Leslie Berliant and stepping into the magic of her teaching has enriched my life in unexpected and wonderful ways. She nurtures and supports great women to birth remarkable stories and books. 

I am so glad I allowed myself to explore this new form of creative expression.

And yet, creative flow has often proven to be elusive, as it was at the start of this weekend’s retreat.

I have frequently had the same challenge when I enter my studio to paint. 

Getting past what feels like a brick wall to find flow is something I am still learning to do with patience.

Because being patient and loving to myself is always the key when ideas and inspiration feel inaccessible.

At the retreat it was easy to compare myself to the other (incredibly talented) writhers in the room. It was tempting at times to say I did not want to share what I'd just spent an hour writing. However, that was not an option!

What I learned was that staying open, connecting to all of my emotions, giving myself time, dropping self-judgement, and choosing to find gratitude and pleasure along the way were the keys to breaking through the barrier.

Words gradually began to flow with more ease.

I also learned (again!), that none of us can judge our own work. 

As we wrote for our last block of time on Sunday, I shared something I thought was all right. The response I got from everyone in the room was pure delight at what I had read. One person declared it felt like the start of a novel she would love to read!

Clearly, the small breakthrough I thought I had had was bigger than I was able to assess.

Magic can happen when you find your process and keep going

It’s easy to feel discouraged when inspiration feels elusive. By trusting and staying in a place of possibility, you can remain open and continue to write, or paint, or come up with new directions, concepts and ideas.

If you find yourself feeling a bit stuck or blocked, make any small effort to keep going. Then take another small step and see what shows up.

You may experience a breakthrough, too. 

After the writing retreat, a group of us did a live reading from the latest anthology, Writrix Volume Two: Rays of Light, at the Brookline Booksmith. You can watch the reading on YouTube here, and you can order a copy of the book here.

Savoring the creative work of others at the writing retreat

Getting ready to read at Brookline Booksmith

Sharing my work at the podium at our book reading

Reaching new heights

When I wrote last week, I was in Miami, preparing to step onto a stage and present a new TED-style talk to a large audience. 

Back home now, I am reflecting on my remarkable experiences and all that I learned.

Say “Yes,” then trust

When I had the opportunity to speak in front of an audience with cameras rolling in the last few years, I had battled serious nerves. Fortunately, with the last-minute support of a great coach, I rose to the occasion each time.

While I had been able to find my focus and get on the stage to deliver my talks, and I’d felt gratified when people said they could not tell that I was nervous, I did not want to have a similarly shaky experience again! 

What I experienced last week was markedly different.

This opportunity was, again, outside of my comfort zone. The audience was going to be larger, with many “important” people in attendance.

The stakes felt higher.

And, because I showed up differently, I had a different experience. I trusted myself to craft my topic with care, and was then able to receive and incorporate suggestions for adjustments from the brilliant team that was there to uplevel everyone’s talks. 

I also trusted myself to practice calmly and thoughtfully, so that the material was solidly in my mind and heart.

I consciously chose to ask the “voices” of doubt and fear to stay outside the ballroom!

That’s how I was able to show up fully and keep my focus on what I was excited to share with the audience.

It feels great to reach new heights

Not only did I have so much more fun this year, the appreciative feedback from people at the break after I spoke, and from fellow speakers who are major-league pros, meant the world to me.

I wanted to show up in a bigger way, marshal the confidence I had been building since last year, and leave people with a distinctive, important message about how they can think about creating in their day-to-day lives.

And I did it!

Whatever new edge you chose to lean into, that calls on you to show up in new and bolder ways, you, too, can amaze yourself at the growth that’s possible for you.

When you have the motivation to share something important, or do something differently that will make a difference in the world, and you stick with it until the new way of showing up becomes part of who you are, you, too will experience an expanded, exciting new version of yourself!

If you want to share your ambition (no matter how big or small it may feel to you), I would love to hear about it.

Maybe I can provide you with the support that will help you reach great new heights!

Email me and we can make a date to chat.

Transform your day with intention

Each day offers you the opportunity to start fresh.

An approach I invite you to consider is to create an intention for the day you want to have when you wake up each day.

It might be to have a day where you choose “flow” instead of “push” energy.

It might be a day filled with trust and optimism.

It might be a day of fun, play and exploration.

Your intention might be to live with awareness — to tune in keenly in conversations, to thoughtfully consider the choices you make all day, to spot opportunities and possibilities that you’d miss if you simply rushed through the day (like most of us do).

Setting intentions works wonders

When you begin each day with a practice of setting an intention, you set yourself up for big possibilities.

You can turn around doubt or worry if something is on your mind when you wake up, that will positively impact both the way you feel and the outcomes of your efforts.

You can adopt a new mindset to bring to your day — one that will support you to think creatively and take positive actions.

By setting an intention for how you want to feel and show up, you positively orient yourself to everything that may happen as your day unfolds.

You pay attention in the moment.

You thoughtfully choose the actions you will take.

And whether things go wonderfully all day, or difficulties or challenges crop up, when you live with the awareness and focus of the intention you set, you will be able to respond with clarity.

You can start now

Take a moment (even if it is the middle of the day as you read this) to think about the rest of your day.

• Maybe you have a project to get done. 

• Maybe there are meetings or appointments on the schedule.

• Maybe there’s a conversation you need to have. 

• Maybe you have a window of free time.

• Maybe you are distracted about something. 

• Maybe you have something to figure out today.

Choose an intention to set now, that will support you to show up in the best possible frame of mind.

If you are unsure, here’s a n easy, effective way to sort out your thoughts:

Set a timer for a couple of minutes and let yourself free-write to consider the way you want to feel and act.

This approach lets you acknowledge the confused or upset or indecisive way you feel right now and play with new ways to see the situation. You can toy with new possibilities and choose a new frame for how you want to feel and show up. That can be your intension!

Intention-setting is a great daily practice

Each day, as your life evolves, you get to consider and set an intention. Your intentions may stay fairly consistent or shift as circumstances change. Explore what will support you each day.

Your intentions will bring focus and clarity to the way you live each day. 

This is a meaningful way you can create your best life

When you live intentionally, you live big.

Discover easy ways to spark your creativity

I hope the summer is off to a great start for you.

I had the great pleasure of speaking to the Frankfurt Germany chapter of HBA (Healthcare Business Women’s Association) last week. I guided the attendees through a set of steps to take to embrace their bold and amplify their voices. I love shedding light on this topic, and love helping people activate boldness in their lives.

One attendee felt she understood most of what I shared, but said she was simply unable to envision herself creating. (Creating is one of 4 key steps that can help you find your authentic way to be bold.)

She asked how she might begin.

I get it! The idea of creating can feel intimidating, and even scary, to lots of people.

Here are ideas to consider, if you are willing to try something new that can have a big impact on your life.

Simple ways to start getting creative

Contrary to the common belief that creating requires that you be a virtuoso performer, artist, writer, dancer or actor, there are delightful, fun, small, ways to activate creativity. 

Try something like:

• singing in the shower, or in your car

• planning and preparing a meal with foods that have beautiful colors, that will look amazing on a platter

• doodling with colored pencils, or try an adult coloring book

• digging in a garden, or arranging flowers

• doing a fun craft project

• playing with clay

• taking photos of things you love (could be birds, landscapes at sunset, something you collect)

• wearing clothes or jewelry that will show friends a side of you they may never have seen

Anyone can find a small way to create that is easy and fun!

And when you create in small ways on a frequent basis, great things happen.

You light up your spirit. You experience delight, and that delight sparks new insights and creates joy. You feel freer to play and experiment. You are happier.

And all of that good feeling generalizes to impact the full spectrum of your life! 

Try another big way to create, too 

In tandem with awakening your spirit by creating expressively in small, fun ways, consider this way to create:

What new idea can you generate now?

• It could be a new approach instead of the usual way you do things. 

• It could be a fresh way to resolve a challenge in front of you. 

• It could be a new response to someone’s request.

What new opportunity can you imagine?

What new possibility can you create?

The key to creating in this way — as you adopt the mindset of being a creator! — is to take a moment to ask yourself the question:

”What can I create right now?“

rather than quickly taking action and rushing to attend to the next thing on your mind.

When you make it a practice to pause and consider the possibilities before you take action, you will realize that this way of creating can be a new, ongoing approach to everything in your life.

Remarkable things are sure to happen!

Why not try both ways to create this week?

I would love for you to let me know what happens for you. You are always welcome to email me and be in touch.

Stepping out and singing free

If you saw my brief email last week, you know I was far away, attending a week-long event in a redwood forest several hours north of San Francisco. I was invited to attend Camp Abundant — a briliantly-named and conceived experience.

I left for the adventure the morning after leading my Live Big Live! three-day retreat in Boston. The two remarkable experiences, back-to-back, filled me with inspiration for which I am deeply grateful.

I am delighted to share three significant take-aways with you.

1. People are the key ingredient.

While I created the structure and designed the experience for the Live Big Live! retreat, the true magic is always the women who say, “Yes!” to engaging in the process. This cohort showed up fully and shared with big hearts to support one another. It was a joy to witness their expansion, and feel the energy of connection deepen each day.

And, at Camp Abundant, where Ben Schemper created a brilliant program of speakers, musicians and experiences, the people he attracted came with big ideas and ambitions for what they want to create in the world, coupled with a deep desire to bring their full, open hearts to everything they do. It was a true joy, and a gift, to share that energy.

2. Magic happens when you step out of your comfort zone.

Staying with what you know feels comfortable, nice and safe — and it’s easy to stick with what is already tested and good.

Yet, bringing new, untested content to my clients is where the surprises, fun and delight happen. I am committed to continuing to create in new ways and willing to see what happens each time.

And, choosing to travel a great distance to attend a week-long retreat on the heels of leading my own retreat, was not guaranteed to be wonderful. I intuitively thought it could be a great experience and trusted my gut, in spite of inevitable fatigue, and knowing I would be sleeping in a tent (for the first time in decades!). I am so glad I said, “Yes.”

3. Don’t sing to be good, sing to be free!

These encouraging and wise words were shared by the wonderful singer, Jess Magic, accompanied by musicians Larissa, Joshua and Brent, as they led us in singing together. This was liberating for so many people that morning, and struck me as a magnificent way we can all orient ourselves to creating in every way.

Whether you have a paintbrush in your hand, a song in your heart, a poem to get onto paper, a desire to move your body to music, or a new idea to explore, allow yourself to feel free and go for it!

Getting creative at Live Big Live!

Deep sharing at Live Big Live!

Standing with massive redwoods

Evening musical experiences

Jess Magic led us in song

Inspiration from the great outdoors

I am excited to be far away from home this week, in magnificent woods.

I’m on a retreat where I’m resting, soaking up the inspiration of nature, learning, and connecting with new people and ideas.

My intention is to hold the spirit of this experience when I return and create with that energy in ways I cannot yet envision.

I look forward to sharing more with you soon!

And I invite you to look for inspiration wherever you are now.

Whether you are outdoors in nature or at your desk, wonder can always be spotted and savored.

Finding opportunity in adversity

Who hasn’t felt discouraged when something failed to go as hoped, or plans fell through, or an outcome that seemed promising fell flat?

People sometimes find themselves sliding from discouragement into more negative thoughts, of deep disappointment, anger, feeling defeated, and sometimes, feeling hopeless.

Even as things feel heavy, when you choose to make a key shift in thinking it can make a world of difference.

This is the shift that can work wonders:

Get creative and see what happens

When you orient yourself to what is possible, to what you can create, the potential for great outcomes is amazing. 

When you choose that new outlook, you bring fresh, positive energy to the matter at hand.

Your intention might be to create a new next step forward, or to create a new alternative, or to initiate a new conversation, or to test a new approach.

You can then reflect on each effort and continue to create as you move ahead.

Taking consistent, positive steps forward with this mindset of what is possible for you to create is a game-changer!

Your mindset is an incredible resource

There is a great quote from the renown Chinese general, philosopher and writer, Sun Tzu, that you may want to keep in mind:

“Can you find and exploit the advantage in every adversity?”

When you choose to adopt the mindset of a creator, it becomes possible — and can even be joyful — to find advantages and realize benefits whenever you face challenges. 

Unlock your potential

In the midst of your busy life, are you grappling with questions about what’s next, or what opportunities to go after?

Do you yearn for a change, or know a change is imminent, or feel that something must change — in your personal life and/or your work?

Do you feel stuck, like so many great women do at one point or another?  

Figuring out your answers to questions like these requires time and focus.

Do you make time for yourself?

It takes time and space to think quietly, take stock of what’s happening in your life, and determine what you really want.

Sadly, most of us never set aside time to think about those matters.

And, even when we do, it can be daunting to consider all that swirls in your head, much less devise a plan for new ways to move ahead in your life.

Time and again, I hear from women who have tried to figure things out on their own and got overwhelmed.

They struggle to set a vision for what they really want, and struggle to identify clear options and ways forward.

The magic of structure 

Rather than fumbling and feeling frustrated on your own — or pushing through your days without trying to sort through where you are and where you want to go in your life — there is a better way.

Having a guide and a structured way to get clear makes a world of difference.

Here are two options you can consider that can lead you to clarity and a path forward.

Work with a coach

Having struggled on my own for many years when I ran my design and marketing business, raising young children, and volunteering, I was maxed out and sometimes felt like I was running on empty.

And part of the reason I was so overwhelmed is that I thought I had to — and could — do everything on my own.

I never considered getting help. 

When the economy tanked and I was under more pressure than ever in my business, I found myself sitting at a table with a business coach. I thought he was smart and I liked his approach to our conversation. I said, “Yes” to hiring him — which was a huge step for me. 

And starting that work changed my life! 

Not only did my business benefit, I gained a world of insight and clarity about everything in my life. The time I devoted to the focused, guided thinking propelled me in directions I would likely never have taken.

I have continued to work with great coaches and mentors ever since, for whom I am filled with gratitude.

Go on a retreat

A meaningful way to make space in your life to do deep thinking, find inspiration, and gain important perspective is to step away from your life — for a few days, and even a week or more.

I just returned from a writing retreat, where I spent a week in rural Vermont with my brilliant teacher and coach and 7 other inspiring women. That time away took me to places in my heart I could not have imagined before I left.

I go on retreats several times a year with my coach of five years and our larger crew, that open my heart and mind in powerful ways each time.

One of my early retreats, with my first coach, was to live in a studio and paint for a week in New Mexico. It was life-changing for me.

Inspired by all of those experience, I started to design and lead intimate retreat experiences in 2020. It is a joy to create opportunities for women to take time away from their daily lives, deep dive into their hearts, and leave with insights and concrete plans to create the lives they yearn for.

Check out my Live Big Live! retreat, and what women who have been there have said about the experience.

What is possible for you?

Working with a coach or going on a retreat might lead you to making a small and significant shift, or a major change to the course you are on now.

Do you hear a shout coming from your heart, or a quiet whisper? Maybe desire is stirring, to leave the status quo behind and venture forward in a new way.

In my experience, it is likely that something meaningful will come out of listening to your heart and getting support to step into your best life.

This may be the time for you to have a transformative experience, to connect to all that is possible for you and set a course for your brightest future.

Click here to make a date for us to talk about what you want in your life and what is in the way.

We can explore if the upcoming retreat or other coaching support is a fit for you. (If not, that’s OK.)

And let’s talk soon — this is the last week to enroll for one of the 2 spots that are still open at Live Big Live! 2024.

Healthy ways to process and release anger

When I wrote about fear last week, there was a big response to the ideas I shared about ways to move ahead when that emotion shows up. (If you missed it, you can check it out here.)

Much like fear, anger can grip any of us from time to time, and can be short-lived or sustained.

Anger is normal, and it’s important to feel and respect it in order to deal with it.

And, it’s important to address it, because anger can be destructive, leading to resentment and ongoing suffering.

The grip of anger 

When anger sets in, it’s hard to think clearly, or stand in your power, or show up in ways that are best for you.

Anger rarely just melts away. When it festers it is like a poison in your system. 

You may not even be aware of the cause. You may feel concerned about what your best course of action can be.

And so, it’s common to hold on to anger. And letting anger fester is not in your best interest.

How to process and release anger

Step one, when you feel angry, is to take a deep breath and tune in to what you are experiencing. You also want to identify the underlying cause that has brought on your reaction.

Sometimes you feel quietly angry, sometimes quite furious.

Sometimes you know why you are angry, but you may sometimes not be so sure.

If you feel upset and cannot pinpoint what is bothering you, it’s important to first get clear. From there, you can employ effective ways to move ahead more positively. 

Pinpoint the what and why

Here are two ways to gain clarity about just what is bothering you. 

Make it visual

Pull out paper and crayons. (If you don’t have any around, you can get them in the school-supply section of your nearby drug store).

Simply draw what the anger feels like. Add words if you like, Use the colors that show how you feel. Make marks and images that show the emotion.

Make it as ugly or intense as the anger you feel.

Use the Discovery Dozen™

You may already know how to use the Discovery Dozen™ exercise, that’s a key tool I work with and is included in my book.

If you don't know how the Discovery Dozen works, you can download a quick guide to using it.

You could start with this fill-in-the-blank sentence:

“Right now I feel angry/furious/enraged because…”

Quickly add an ending to that sentence root, and keep doing that 12 times, for 12 different full sentences. Then look over what shows up.

Next you have an opportunity to drill down deeper, and do another Discovery Dozen. Try it.

You can choose from your answers in the first list of completed sentences and use this structure for a new Discovery Dozen:

“The thing that makes me angriest about [the thing you picked from your first round of sentence endings] is…”

You may want to use this second Discovery Dozen over again, selecting a different response from your first list of sentences. When you write quickly, insights that were not top-of-mind are likely to show up.

By using both the visual and written methods, you will likely have new awareness.

And the acts of creating in these ways may help you begin to feel better, too.

Release anger and free your spirit

When you are angry and you know what the cause is, it may feel frightening.

You may feel afraid to express it.

You may try to push it aside, or stuff it down.

Doing that rarely works for long, and can build the intensity of your anger. When that happens, anger may burst out and cause a new round of emotional distress.

There are safe ways to release the emotional intensity of anger, so that you can take a thoughtful approach and move forward.

Here are some options to consider:

Try physically moving the angry energy

• Pull out a pillow and beat it (against a bed, or any surface that will not be harmed). Shout as you do it. Repeat for as long as you need, to feel that you have drained the pent up negative energy.

• Write furiously — vent it all on paper.

• Go for a run, or do an intense workout.

Talk to a trusted friend, coach or advisor

It’s easy for intense emotions like anger to highjack your thoughts, where they loop endlessly.

When you turn to someone who can listen and support you to think calmly, you can more easily find clarity. They may be able to help you identify aspects you did not see on your own, gain perspective, and help you plan for what you can or want to do next.

You may want to follow these steps with mediation or yoga, to support you to think clearly about a conversation to have or an action to take that can address the situation that brought the anger on.

Being on the other side of anger

Having attended to your anger you will be able to create a positive path forward.

Whether that is having a meaningful and constructive conversation, initiating a new way of interacting with someone, feeling clearer about your feelings and reactions, being able to forgive someone, or feeling able to release the anger completely, you will have new tools available for the next occasion when anger appears.

5 Techniques to move through fear

Fear is a universal experience. So are tough emotions such as anger, worry and desperation.

These powerful forces challenges all of us.

Today, let’s look at fear and how to move through and past it. (Stay tuned for emails about other difficult emotions, that will follow soon.)

We all feel fear!

Sometimes that fear is related to something that puts us, or someone we care about, in mortal danger. More often we are afraid of things that are not actually dangerous.

Because our lizard brains were wired in ancient times, when mortal danger was frequently a risk, we instinctively find ourselves experiencing fear.

Happily, we have far less danger in the modern world, and there are a number of good ways to end that suffering no matter the cause.

Common advice falls short

I have heard well-meaning people advise that you can tell yourself that fear is not real, and that doing that will make the fear go away.

But when you are afraid, you are responding to something that feels very real to you. In my experience, and observing others, being told that fear is not real, so just let it go, is not helpful.

What to do instead

Of course, fear can have a different degree of hold on you at different times, and depending on what brought it on.

Sometimes a small shift in thinking and perspective can work wonders, or employing a new way of responding can do the trick.

Try some or all of these techniques and see what works for you.

1. The power of hope

No matter what the fear relates to, bringing hopefulness to mind can make you feel much better. 

Hope is powerful. It helps reduce the anxiety that can accompany fear. As you focus on hope and more positive thoughts appear, the fear that gripped you will begin to recede.

2. The power of love

It may surprise you to learn that another great antidote to fear is love. Actively bringing a focus to love — for yourself, for someone else (even the person you feel anger toward), for the world — produces chemicals in the brain that reduce fearful thinking. 

Then, whatever made you feel afraid can be considered with a calmer, clearer and more hopeful frame of mind.

3. The power of awareness

The fear you feel may be sending you a signal — that you have a desire to try something new (like a physical challenge) or go for something different (like an exciting new job) — and that your fear is there to help you resist giving it a try.

The fear may be trying to protect you from the possibility of failing, or embarrassment. 

The truth is, you will never know if you can or will succeed (right off the bat or after several restarts), until you try. 

And if this kind of fears shows up, remind yourself that it does not entail mortal danger.

4. The power of choice

The truth is that in any situation, we can choose a new way of thinking and a new way of responding.

We can choose to bring a new perspective to the matter. We can choose to look at our circumstance through a new lens.

We can also choose to trust — ourselves and our creative thinking, and particular people who can support us. 

When you hold the awareness in your mind of all the choices you can employ, and practice using those choices, you can cope with things that have felt really hard in the past.

5. The power of gratitude

The science is clear. When you focus on gratitude, levels of the stress hormone cortisol get lower. This works to block toxic emotions of many kinds. 

Neurological studies show that your brain cannot be in a state of appreciation and fear at the same time. When you focus on what you have and what is good, and not on what you lack or fear, the fearful feelings fall away.

Email me to share the approach, or approaches that work best for you.

Start your day right

How do you start your days? Most of us have a usual morning pattern.

Some hop out of bed, wash and dress, turn on the news, grab coffee with breakfast, and rush into the day.

Others hit the snooze button first. Some sit down for a leisurely breakfast.

What most people skip — that I skipped for decades — is a morning practice that sets you up for your best day.

Try a new way to start the day

When I worked with my first coach, I was urged to meditate every day. I resisted. I dabbled at it. It was a struggle for quite a while!

I would randomly take a break at my desk, put a timer on for 5 minutes, and try to quiet my mind until the chime sounded.

In time it got easier. I sat for longer times. I started to like it, but I did not love the part about pausing in the midst of my workday to do it.

I skipped it on many days, and sometimes did not return to meditating for weeks or months.

Over time I realized that timing was part of the problem. I changed to meditating first thing in the morning. That worked better for me.

And, in time, I added some new elements to the meditation.

I created a morning practice — and it’s had a significant impact on my life. 

As I’ve experimented, I have found a mix that I love.

You may want to try it, too.

A menu to pick from to create your best day 

My current practice starts with 5 to 10 minutes doing each of these 4 things:

• free writing

• meditating

• visualizing how I will show up for the things I will do in the day

• moving my body

And there’s more.

Rather than listen to or watch news, which used to add stress to my mornings, I select music I’m in the mood for each morning.

The music also helps me start to move. I often dance in my bedroom, or do some yoga poses. I usually add in a bit of free-weight action to build strength.

When I do sit down at my desk, I add one more important component.

I pull a card from one or two oracle decks that I love. I keep a journal and do some writing about the message(s) they bring me. This part of my practice helps me focus in how I will show up for everything in my day.

Your elements might be different!

You might include prayer, reading, saying affirmations, singing, getting outdoors, playing an instrument, or drawing.

The order you choose for your elements is up to you.

And you might choose to practice at a another time of day.

The key is to make a practice of the routine that most appeals to you and most supports you.

How having a daily practice works

Having a regular practice with elements like those described above helps you to connect to your heart.

A morning practice orients you to your day in a positive way.

It activates your body, your mind and your spirit.

Your practice will become a ritual.

And rituals are powerful.

Rituals can help you move through challenges, create new habits, create deeper self-awareness, feel more grounded, and feel more motivated.

And a daily ritual like this is a wonderful way to practice self-love. The more you love and believe in yourself, the more easily you can create what you truly want in your life.

I would love for you to share a daily practice if you have one you love — or feel free to ask me any questions you may have.

Email me to get in touch.

Techniques for vibrant living

Maybe you saw the eclipse — or just heard about it before, during and after it happened. Some were lucky and saw it, many having made a long trip to a prime location.

Others had little interest in making an effort to travel, or even get special glasses to use at their front door.

In a coaching conversation today, a client remarked that what interested her the most was the energy of the cosmic event, more than what she saw. (It’s worth noting that at her location there was only 93% coverage.)

I loved that part of our conversation, because I believe that when we tune in to the energy of any event, any conversation, and most of all, the energy we feel and generate, we can be enriched.

Consider these great ways to access and build positive energy.

Connect to the energy inside you

Your body is so much more than flesh and bones. You are filled with, made up of, tremendous energy! 

When you build awareness of the energy you feel, you can use it in meaningful ways.

When you feel great, ride that energy!

When you feel wonderful — happy, excited, enthusiastic, playful — tap in fully to that energy and make the most of it!

Pause to consider all the ways you can leverage that energy to generate ideas and take actions.

And find ways to enjoy whatever you may need to do that is not so appealing, when you use that fertile energetic spirit to fuel you.

When you are feeling flat or low, you can build new energy.

We all find ourselves feeling dull, sad, or stressed from time to time. Here are some steps that can help you to shift your energy upward:

1. Take stock of what you are feeling.

Sometimes you know you feel angry, or frustrated or irritated. At other times, identifying just what you are feeling can be less clear. And often it’s not obvious why you feel a particular unpleasant emotion.

Getting clear is a key first step.

You can use my Discovery Dozen™ tool to explore and to find clarity.

Start by writing this fill-in-the-blank sentence at the top of a page:
Right now I feel… because…

Complete the 2 blanks portions of that sentence 12 times, for 12 complete sentences. Write as quickly as you can, and see what shows up.

Be sure to write anything that comes to mind and complete all 12 sentences!

When you read your sentences, it’s likely that you will be able to pinpoint what it is you are feeling, and feel clearer about what is bothering you.

2. Move those feelings through you and out! 

When you give the unwanted emotion an outlet, you can release the hold it has on you.

How?

Try screaming into a pillow. Or beating a pillow hard. Or journaling all the thoughts you have about the matter until you have exhausted yourself. Or dance it out. Or draw what the ugly emotion looks like. Or go out and run.

Any way you choose will allow you to release the emotion that is limiting you. You may have to repeat the release (in the same way or try different approaches). These are many great ways to feel better.

And when you feel the weight of the tough emotion lift, you can begin thinking more positively. You can choose new ways to move. You can consider a new lens through which to reflect on the issue. You can choose to let it go completely.

You can bring positivity into your day. You may well find yourself laughing or playing.

Then you can ride that upbeat energy!

Seek out positive energy around you 

In addition to the energy you generate, you can tap into powerful positive energy when you think about where it is already.

Think about the people you spend time with. Choose to surround yourself with people who are fun to be with, optimistic and inspiring.

Visit places that light you up. You might find great energy in a museum, at a sporting event, at a party, in the quiet of a walk in the woods, in your favorite chair where you enjoy reading poetry.

Do things you love, like playing an instrument, or baking, or painting, or gardening, or exploring. 

The more you do these things, the more you will naturally create positive energy, without effort!

Share what works for you!

I would love to hear your favorite way to turn around negative or difficult energy, and how you keep your best energy flowing.

Email me and let me know. I will be glad to share interesting new ways we can all try out to build more energy in our systems for living our best lives.

An invitation to create your best life

Do you, like so many people, replay past events with regret?

It is tempting and easy to think about a decision you made, a conversation you had, a response made quickly, and wish it had been different.

When you feel the pull to question, reexamine, or suffer about things in the past, you cheat yourself.

How?

You cheat yourself out of being present now, and when that happens you lose precious opportunities to create what is possible in this moment.

What you are able to create in every moment (a new idea, a meaningful conversation, a new boundary, something you never dared to explore before) can actually shift your trajectory.

And that one small shift can lead you to a future that is more satisfying and fulfilling.

That’s an incredible possibility.

What are you creating now?

What are you thinking about and taking action on to create the life you truly want to live?

Are your thoughts and actions propelling you in a direction that excites you, or are they limiting you?

Perhaps you are dwelling on negativity and worry, which is common and may feel reasonable. A conscious shift to gratitude and positive possibility can bring inspiring energy to your next efforts.

Perhaps you feel unsure or timid. A shift to exploring with someone you trust can provide insight and inspiration to take a step you might otherwise not have tried.

Each moment of your day offers the opportunity to create a new thought, take a new step, be a bit bolder.

You may not have considered that these are acts of creation!

What happens when you consciously create 

When you create from a place of belief, clarity and trust, you can move ahead with optimism and willingness to experiment, knowing that you can continue to create in each moment.

When you try new things, course-correct if necessary, and create a new next step forward — over and over again — your life can change in remarkable ways.

This can become a new way of operating. A new way of living.

Take a small, meaningful step now

I invite you to make one small commitment to yourself today — to create something just beyond your habitual way of operating, or just outside of your comfort zone.

It may be to say “no,” if you know deep down that that response is called for.

It might be to say “yes” to your heart, if you feel it’s time to try something new.

And if that “something new” is to to say “yes” to you — to make space for yourself, to look deep into your heart and find true clarity about what you want, and to have a guide to begin creating that reality — you may want to say “yes!” to a once-a-year opportunity that’s just round the corner.

Start creating the future you dream of

Each spring I lead the Live Big Live! retreat in Boston, and this opportunity is only happening once in 2024.

On June 6, 7, and 8, 2024, an intimate group of incredible women — like you! — will come together to move though a life-changing experience together. And we start in a virtual format together before the retreat, so you will have a solid foundation for everything that happens in our beautiful space together.

Here’s what you can expect:

• You will be guided to crystalize a vision that is rooted in deeply knowing yourself.

• You will experience creativity in inspiring, fun, and surprising ways — and no special talent or experience is needed!

• You will receive tools to use, again and again, whenever you feel doubtful or stuck, to keep moving toward your dreams. 

• You will learn from and be supported by other great women, and in turn you will bring your gifts to them.

• You will create a concrete plan for how you will live into your vision for the next 90 days — so the inspiration and insights will be specifically actionable for you.

• You will amaze yourself and feel excited about your life as never before.

I have witnessed remarkable outcomes at Live Big Live! in the past, and it would be an honor to speak to you to see if this opportunity is a match for you.

My life’s work is to guide and inspire great women to tap all of their potential by activating the transformative power of creativity to live their best lives — to live big!

If you are ready to step into an amazing future, let’s talk soon. We kick off in advance of the retreat, so let’s get a date on the calendar soon! 

Schedule a call here. (There's never a cost or obligation for us to chat.)

Here are a few photos taken at past Live Big Live! retreats