The surprising way to be happier + boost creativity

Do you like getting messy?

Maybe it feels fun for you to make a mess in the kitchen, or in the garden, or with paints or clay.

Or, like me in years past, maybe the idea of things being messy makes you cringe.

The colors in my box of pencils needed to be neatly arranged according to the rainbow. A counter covered in spilled flour as I mixed up a batter drove me crazy. Precision and order made me super-happy.

How I learned to tolerate (and appreciate) a mess

I will never forget the day my coach and I were beginning a creative exercise and he dumped out the contents of my pristine box of 48 perfect new pastels.

Many of them broke. Dust was all over the place. The pastels were in a heap and I was furious.

He laughed.

I moved ahead with the process with gritted teeth. I hated that I could not choose each color from the box and return each to its precise place every time I used a color. 

And what happened next was wonderful.

With the irreparable heap in front of me, I slowly let myself connect to the music and simply play with colors — choosing a bright green on the fly, tossing it back on the pile, and picking up a rich blue that caught my eye. On I went, not pausing to put anything back in place. I focused on the combination of colors and shapes I was throwing together on the page.

It was not long before I totally forgot how irritated I’d felt. I was absorbed in a great process and felt free.

Having been forced to give up the control I was accustomed to, I got to feel what happened when I allowed myself to relax.

And I realized that in that new relaxed state, that many things had happened that would not have been the same had I been focused on keeping everything neat.

I was happy to start bringing that freedom into other parts of my life.

Why making a mess is good

While many of us feel it’s fine for kids to get messy, we fail to consider why it is healthy for us as adults to make a mess, too.

Engaging in messy play sparks our senses — no matter our age. 

Messy play opens avenues of curiosity, and creativity of every kind flows from there.

Allowing ourselves to be free opens our hearts and brightens our spirits. 

Spontaneity and surprise, and the “accidents” that show up in the process, bring things to light that would have never likely occurred otherwise. 

Rather than focusing on having to know it all or sticking to a plan, or keeping things neat and tidy, when you allow for some messiness — in both play and the ways you approach everything in your day — truly amazing things can happen. 

You are likely to spawn big new insights that can become the launch-point for exciting projects and initiatives.

And best of all, you will ignite your spirit.

How might you explore messiness?

If you have been holding on tightly, trying to keep everything under control and “just right”, maybe introducing a little messiness will enable you to loosen your grip a bit.

You might start with play, experience how that feels, and then introduce bits of serendipity into other part of your life. Meaningful surprises are likely to follow.

If you are looking for ideas, or want to share your experiences (positive or not) with messiness, I’d be happy to connect. Email me and let’s connect.

You can choose happiness, too

Visiting Galleries in New York made me very happy!

In the midst of an especially busy summer that started with a lot of tiring work-related travel, and with some big deadlines approaching as well as some other stress playing out, I left town to spend a special long weekend with my husband.

We went to New York to celebrate our anniversary, and we had a marvelous time away.

At any other time, a trip like this would be a breeze — full of joyous anticipation and leisurely planning. Given the array of current circumstances, this trip was more of a challenge for me.

Happily, my sweetheart did much of the planning. He surprised me with wonderful places to go, and planned for each day to unfold at a lovely pace. He even got the weather to cooperate! It could not have been more special.

And the truth is, before we left I was not feeling so excited.

As much as I wanted to go away and enjoy this time with him, I had a lot on my mind. I had not been sleeping very well, and was concerned about feeling distracted and preoccupied.

And then I made a choice.

I chose happiness

I remembered that I get to choose the way I respond — to everything in my life.

I decided that I wanted to be happy. And I chose to be.

It would have been easier to allow distracted thoughts to predominate. It would have been easy to fit in bits of work here and there. It would have been easy to check and respond to emails all day, as I am in the habit of doing.

Instead, I chose to be present.

I chose play and fun.

I chose delight and adventure.

I chose love.

I decided that all of the rest could and would wait.

Now, having returned, and having returned my focus to all the matters that preceded our get-away, I’ve made another choice.

I continue to choose happiness

I had help making this choice.

I was reminded of what I can control in my life, and what is out of my control. (Many thanks to a dear teacher and friend for sharing the wisdom with me.)

And I realized that happiness is something I can choose with ease when I bear in mind the wisdom of those two categories.

I realized, too, that I have the choice to feel stressed, or to trust myself to meet my deadlines.

I have the choice to ruminate over things that are contentious or address them calmly as I make a case for what I believe is fair and just.

I will control what is mine to control and not let the rest rob me of happiness.

I welcome you to download the graphic below, that I made to help me remain clear about what I can and cannot control.

What choices are you making now?

If you are thinking about how to make the next part of your life truly fulfilling — to overcome stress, confusion, doubt, or anything else that is challenging you now — you may want to consider having a guide and mentor to support you.

I invite you to schedule a call and we can talk about what’s in the way for you now, and what’s possible. (There's no cost or obligation for us to talk.)

Here’s how to schedule a call: LiveBigCall.com