Break Routine, Embrace New Growth

It’s always easy to stay in your comfort zone. It feels safe — and comfortable.

Staying in your comfort zone related to work and career can look like not requesting or applying for an opportunity that will stretch or challenge you. Or it might look like tolerating something such as a toxic culture, or being undervalued.

Your relationship comfort zone might look like not reaching out to connect with someone for fear of rejection. It could mean staying in a relationship with someone who is chronically inconsiderate because you have become dependent on that person or cannot fathom ending the relationship. It could be feeling disappointment or unhappiness with someone over a long period of time, and staying quiet, because you don’t want to — or know how to — have a difficult conversation.

Your comfort zone might keep you staying in a location in spite of drawbacks, because you feel scared to make a change.

It may have been recommended, or you may have a desire to take care of your health in a particular way, and you’ve resisted. Or you may love the idea of trying something new and challenging, such as running a 5K or learning to play a new sport, and instead you sit it out because you don't want to try and fail.

You may have thought about learning something new, like playing an instrument, speaking a new language, or taking a course in a subject that fascinates you, but didn’t move forward because it felt daunting, or you did not want to change your routine to fit it in.

Routines and structures that are familiar feel comfortable. That can be fine in many cases.

And there are other cases where you pay a price for staying comfortable.

Always staying in your comfort zone is a trap 

While you can draw on past experience when you stay in your comfort zone, when you always do things the same way in spite of feeling a desire for something new or different (or even having a solid reason to make a change), or you resist doing something you have been curious about or desired, your complacency takes a toll.

You miss out on a lot: growth, progress, possibilities, discoveries, expansion.

And your comfort zone — that can grow when you try new things, learn new things, dare to test and explore, open yourself to new experiences — will not have the opportunity to expand!

Choose one way to expand your comfort zone

Start by observing yourself today. What shows up that’s related to staying in your comfort zone?

Maybe you will notice that

• you are in a rut about your lunch routine

• you stay quiet when a part of you wants to speak up

• you feel excited about an idea and then talk yourself out of pursing it

• you shop for a blouse and pick a style or color that you always choose

• you spend your evening like you always do, even though it’s a bit boring

• you skipped taking a long bike ride with a friend and did extra work instead

When you have observed one or more ways you stayed comfortable or safe, choose one thing on your list to begin to strive to change.

I suggest you consider the least intimidating thing on your list, and make that small thing your focus for bringing a bit of change into your day tomorrow.

Don’t go for making a huge change all at once.

The idea is to start with stretching a little bit beyond your comfort zone at the start, so you can appreciate yourself for a successful effort.

Then take that farther, or bring another thing on your list into your focus for making a small change.

And celebrate yourself for each effort you make!

Remember that when you try something new and it does not go as you’d hoped, or it takes continued practice to achieve, you can make adjustments to your approach. You can get help. Or you can put that aside, try something else on your list, and come back to it.

In time you will be able to take on bolder efforts.

See what happens as you bring change to one way you have stayed in your comfort zone each week, and as you continue to do that for a while.

As you reap the benefits, you are sure to enjoy the process.

You are also likely to see that you will naturally feel good about taking on new things and making bigger changes. And your confidence and self-trust will grow.

That’s a wonderful way to live big! 

Share your dreams, a tiny step or two you’re taking, and how it feels. Schedule a chat here.

Reflections on love, life and living big

January 13 is an important day in my life — it is the anniversary of the day I met the man who I would later marry and build a life with.

Each year when this date rolls around, I look back and reflect.

I try and wrap my head around the span of time that has passed. I reflect. I am filled with appreciation for the serendipity that brought us together and feel awe for how we built our lives — jointly and as individuals — over time.

And each year at this time I seek deeper insights.

I aim for keener perspective as I take the long view. These gifts take time to emerge, and they are so valuable.

This year I feel gratitude, even more notably than in the past, for everything that has happened in my life and our lives together.

I am grateful for the ups and downs, the joys as well as the challenges that have tested us, and so many lessons learned. 

I feel an even clearer appreciation for how precious life is, and for my connection to the present and all that is possible. When I anchor into what is possible now I feel enormous inspiration.

I am more focused than ever to finding, and creating, joy each day.

I am focused on pursuing what matters most to me — nurturing precious relationships, focusing on work that will provide me with true satisfaction and will have the greatest impact, caring for the wellbeing of my body and my spirit, and setting aside sacred time to paint and write.

This focus on the present enables me to honor the yearning in my heart as I commit to courageously taking action that is aligned with those desires.

What matters most to you?

You, too, may want to set aside time to look back and take a long view. Then ask what your heart really wants.

You may hear shouts or whispers. Listen. Pay attention and honor what you hear. The signal your heart sends you is important! Trust it. Use it as a compass. It cannot steer you wrong.

When you follow what your heart desires, even taking very small steps at first will be meaningful. Each action matters. Subtle shifts add up. 

So go for it! 

And keep going!

This is how you create a life that is fulfilling — how you Live Big! — one small commitment and action at a time.

Begin today!

As the idiom goes, there’s no time like the present to do something that is meaningful.

Imagine yourself next year at this time, looking back and taking stock of how following your heart put you on a path to greater satisfaction.

I would love to hear what your heart desires, and how you are honoring those desires.

(And, of course, I would be happy to talk to you about how have coaching support might help you connect deeply to your heart and begin to bring the change into your life that your heart asks for. Click here to make a date.)

Ignite your passion and Live Big!

What are you saying “Yes!” to these days? 

What juicy opportunities are right out there for you, that you can choose to act on?

What is in your heart, that you feel excitement about, that you have not yet made space to explore or pursue?

What are you passionate about that you can put higher on your list — maybe even at the top of your list — rather than never getting to it?

Is it time to make new choices?

All of us have things we must do that feel far from exciting. I am not suggesting that you drop everything to pursue a passion.

What I do invite you to consider is that something that tugs at your heart can be honored, and it is worth making space to pursue it.

Can you think of one thing that you want to do, or do more of, that you have pushed to the sidelines?

Maybe you long to

• initiate a new project

• have an adventure

• go back to school

• go after a big opportunity in your career

• bring like-minded people together

• express yourself in a new way

• learn a new skill

• show up in a big way to advocate for something important to you

To do anything like that you’re likely to have to stay, “No” to some things that are part of your life now.

Rather than settling for the current routine, that likely includes things that you do not feel excited about and that can be dropped, delayed, or otherwise adjusted, you can choose to make space  — and time — for that thing that really matters to you, and that will add joy to your life.

Let passion be your compass

When you honor who you are and what you desire, and make changes to take action in the direction that your passion is pointing to, you will feel excited to pursue it.

That excitement is potent, positive energy. And positive energy expands. When activated, it lights up much in your life!

You are worthy of that excitement and energy and satisfaction.

And once you have ignited it, that energy can steer you into the future in ways you may not be able to imagine.

So start — even a small start lights the spark and steers you in a direction that your heart yearns for.

And if you’re thinking you do not have something specific in mind as you read this, aim for awareness of what is possible for you to explore that would bring a spark to your life. 

I'll be excited to hear what you bring new energy to, and cheer you on as you create your life in inspiring ways!

And, if I can support you to connect to your heart and take action (whether it’s a small start or a big step) to bring that new dimension into your life, let’s talk. 

Helping great women like you to create and live their biggest, best lives — to Live Big — is my passion!

A journey to abundance

If you saw my blog post last week, you know I was away. I hope you enjoyed the photo of the gorgeous landscape I shared, that I got to savor every day that I was in Texas.

For four big days there I was on a “mini-sabbatical” with my coach and a fantastic group of people in my mastermind group. The theme we dove deep to explore was “abundance as a way of being.” 

We started by digging into how our beliefs have been shaped about three big aspects of abundance — time, money and love — seeing many ways that we have each lived with scarcity and how limiting that has been. 

We defined abundance for ourselves, and had deep somatic and energetic experiences to anchor to the embodiment of abundance. We played, too, and did wonderful creative work to express and bring home visual reminders for ourselves. (As you can imagine, I loved this!)

And on the final afternoon, we went into the nearest town, in groups of 4, to share love and bring generosity into the world. This was a highlight of my experience — helping people load groceries in the Walmart parking lot; buying large bouquets and giving people roses to brighten their day; choosing socks, bibs, teething rings and other baby gear to donate at the Good Will store; stopping at a cemetery to leave flowers on graves.

The outcome of this time away and all I soaked in is a far deeper level of inspiration, insight and self-trust, knowing that abundance is a mindset that informs the way I live each day.

My daily morning practice of gratitude, meditation, reflection and writing is now infused with a focus on serving, and building more ease receiving. I am also clear about the people I want to be with, whose energy and spirit lift and inspire me.

How can you live abundantly today?

Perhaps you will step into your garden and marvel at the beauty of nature.

Maybe you will surprise someone with a call or note to tell them you appreciate them.

If you notice thoughts rooted in doubt or scarcity, intentionally reframe those thoughts.

Can you think of something simple to do for yourself? It could be to pause and make a cup of tea, to savor a flavor you love. You might get to bed earlier, or listen to great music while you attend to a task.

If you notice negativity in someone near you, can you make a choice to limit that contact, or process what they are saying and doing differently?

Doing small things like these can shift your energy and your thoughts in meaningful ways.

And the more you bring this kind of awareness into your life the bigger the shifts will be.

I welcome you to share your thoughts, challenges, questions and desires about living your most abundant life on a call with me.

Email me, or find a date on my calendar and we can chat (there’s no cost or obligation!).