Finding strength in the why

What matters enough to stretch and extend yourself, to do something that’s important to you, even when you are really tired?

Maybe there is a family matter, or something related to your work, or a passion you feel for a cause, that is so pressing or important that you dig deep to focus time and energy for it.

I have been stretching myself to attend to pressing family matters for many months. I have been flying to Philadelphia from Boston so often that the people at the Admiral’s Club desk recognize and greet me each time I arrive. One time recently, when I fumbled to find the card that is required for entry, they told me, “Oh, we know you, just go in!” That’s when you know you have been traveling a lot!

These trips have been important. And they have been taxing. 

I have needed to make adjustments in a number of ways to do all of the travel, as well as making calls, doing research, sending and replying to emails, and other tasks related to the my father’s failing health, my sister’s health crisis, and more recently, matters related to my father’s estate.

Finding strength when you need it

I am amazed at the way adrenaline has kicked in when I have need it. This hormone is produced in the adrenal gland to help you deal with stressful or dangerous situations.

And while a rush of adrenaline can be literally life-saving in some circumstances, and has carried me at notable moments, there are other ways we can find strength.

• Focus on the why

When you feel called to take action and can keep the WHY clear in your thoughts, you may be surprised by the amount of strength you will feel. This fundamental approach to how you focus your thoughts can support you in countless situations.

• Envision the outcomes

Knowing that my efforts were making a meaningful difference in the life of a loved one — envisioning my father’s contentment at knowing he was loved and cared for, and “seeing” what restored health would be like in the case of my sister — has frequently given me strength.

Similarly, knowing my efforts were smoothing the way to a positive conclusion for myself and my family in the aftermath of my father’s death, and imagining what that would look and feel like, has given me tremendous strength, even when I was not sure I had any left. 

The same can be true when you are dedicated to a cause about which you are passionate, or launching a new endeavor that is deeply meaningful to you. Envision what it will it look like thanks to your efforts.

• Get help

Rather than figuring everything out on your own, or doing it all yourself, when you seek out help (by asking for it from people you know, or hiring experts, or availing yourself of services that are around you) you will not be expending as much effort on your own and will have more strength for the efforts you undertake.

Remember the importance of self-care

How you take care of yourself during demanding times, and afterwards, is crucially important.

Pay attention to how you feed yourself and stay hydrated. Make sleep a priority. See where you can open space in your schedule, so you can move at a slower pace when possible. Aim to connect to people you enjoy, and do things you love (like getting out in nature, visiting a museum, having a favorite food delivered).

Get the support you need

I have been fortunate to have remarkable, loving support in my life, and that has made a huge difference during this taxing time.

My coaches have been a most valued resource. My husband has been my rock. My children have chipped in. Friends have lent a loving ear.

This has enabled me to look ahead to all I intend for myself and my work in the year that lies ahead.

If you are thinking about what really matters to you now — whether you want to get clear or you know what that looks like — and you think that getting support could be the way to move ahead with more ease, my upcoming Live Big Live retreat might be right for you.

Email me and we can make a date for you to learn about this program, and we’ll see if it’s a fit.

Finding the magic of motivation

Sometimes things are hard. We find ourselves facing obstacles. We hit setbacks. We need to cope with stress or illness.

And sometimes things feel hard when we really want something and are on our way to achieving it.

Here’s an example that may remind you of an experience in your life.

I am working with a client who is launching a new website for a business she is reviving after life events diverted her for a few years. It had been a successful business, and she feels ready and eager to resume it.

In fact, she has inventory waiting to sell again, and she has new offerings ready to produce.

She has already invested in having a great web developer build a new site. It looks fabulous and will make online selling a breeze.

And yet, she is struggling.

Why? Because she’s scared.

Her thoughts are consumed with questions like these:

What if the business doesn’t take off? What if the business does take off and makes her busier than she thinks she can handle? What if the new technology will feel burdensome to learn?

At the moment, one very small thing is holding her back — writing the About page copy for the site. It feels so hard for her — not because it’s difficult to string some words together for an initial rough draft. It’s the fear and doubt she is wrestling with that is holding her back and delaying the launch of the new site.

When we want something and still struggle, we need to find (or re-find) motivation.

Motivation is the driving force for everything you aim to achieve

Motivation is easiest to come by when things you do excite you and when things are humming along. But as we saw in the story I shared, motivation is not a sure thing.

And motivation can feel elusive at times when you most need it — like when fear grips you, or deadlines are looming and you have procrastinated, or when you lack confidence in your ability to start or bring a project to conclusion.

Happily, getting motivated is a great way to get going on something that matters to you, to deal with setbacks, to move forward in spite of fear, to persevere, to set priorities, to perform well and build confidence, and to stay committed to the outcome you desire.

So how can you get into the flow of motivation when you need it?

5 steps to create and sustain motivation

1. Ask “why?”

Why this project, or this conversation, or this goal?

Just like my post last week explained that having clarity about the “why” is important to build momentum, getting clear about your “why” is crucial for finding motivation when it is missing.

The “why” may be a personal desire (like my client who wants to restart her business), or may be related to a less-appealing but none-the-less important obligation (like bringing a legal matter to a close). When you focus on the reason this matters, you can connect to motivation.

(And, if the “why” turns out to be that you took on something based on a feeling of obligation, or to please someone, or another reason that you realize is not important enough to you to see the thing though, this is the time to make a change in plans.)

With a compelling “why”, continue on to step 2.

2. Ask yourself, “How can I make the most of this moment?”

What small step can you take to move forward now?

What can the next step be?

Keep asking and keep going (even if it’s slow going at first).

And be willing to change things up and try new approaches along the way.

3. Get support

You don’t have to figure everything out on your own!

Think about who you can reach out to to provide input. Who can offer encouragement? Who might be an accountability partner, or be available to hold you accountable, so you can more easily continue to move ahead?

4. Get excited about the possibilities

Visualize the completion of the process. In the case of my client, she is envisioning seeing orders come in and joyfully sending off her delightful products to people who will enjoy them.

If the task is less pleasant, envision it being settled or complete, and off of your mind.

By foreseeing the best possible outcome, you will bring the most positive energy to the effort. There is always a wealth of possibility to be considered when your thinking is not colored by fear and resistance.

Not only will you feel motivated, you will be more creative and resourceful as you proceed.

And no matter the final result, you will know you gave the project your best effort.

5. Reward yourself

You can reward yourself along the way, to mark small steps forward and for persevering when things feel particularly challenging.

You can reward yourself for building skills and gaining confidence.

And certainly celebrate and reward yourself for reaching milestones, and the completion of your process.

Rather than minimizing your accomplishments, or rushing on to focus on the next things on your list, savor and celebrate what you have done!

What are you motivated to create today?

Perhaps you will create a new step forward toward a goal you have been pursuing or to propel a meaningful project.

You may create a new idea or implement a new approach for something already underway, or you may initiate something completely new and meaningful.

Connect to what matters to you and invite motivation to support you to putting your desire into motion.

Every day offers immense opportunities. Motivation carries you to rewarding outcomes.