Feeling overwhelmed? Try this powerful way to find balance

Are you finding it a challenge to keep from feeling overwhelmed these days?

Maybe, like so many women I am hearing from, you feel dismay at what is happening in our country and the world. You may be easily distracted, making it hard to focus. You may even feel hopeless from time to time.

I get it. I have ups and downs, too. 

And, I know that this is exactly the time I need — we all need — to find ways to feel steady, to take excellent care of ourselves, to find balance and bring hope and joy into our lives every day.

This is how we stay strong as we look at a long road ahead.

One significant tool I can vouch for is expressing the gamut of emotions that show up.

When there is dismay, anger, fear, or stress hijacking my thoughts, having a way to move that loaded emotion through me, so I both feel it and am able to release it, has been enormously helpful.

A resource you may not have considered

A powerful way to cope with a big load of emotion is to choose a way to express it, Get creative as a means of moving your emotions!

Consider these great ways to move emotions and lighten your spirit:

Write out what you feel.

Journal, or write poems, or free-write. Put all the emotion onto a page. (Writing by hand is especially effective, though you can type, too). Keep going until you feel like you’ve poured it all out.

Make art.

Any kind of art is great. Let yourself play with paint, colored pencils or markers, clay, or any other way you feel like making your emotions visual. Be sure to leave judgement out of it! Nobody needs to see what you make — though you may want to share what you’ve made. Your art can be angry and dark. It can express sadness or hopelessness. Let your feelings show up in whatever you create.

Dance. 

Move to music of any kind until your body feels relieved of the load of emotion you started with. It works to dance with loud harsh music, opera, emotional orchestral music, or anything else that feels right to you in the moment.

Make music.

Use an instrument or your voice. If you play an instrument, you have a great resource. You might improvise and drum on a surface that allows you to make sounds that convey what you feel. And singing is a powerful way to express any emotion. Sing along with a recording that moves you. Sing in your car, or in the shower, or while you make your breakfast. Belt it out, or sing or play softly. It all works.

Create in any way you want!

Maybe you like making things with your hands. Maybe you like cooking and experimenting with flavors, textures and colors. Maybe you like gardening. Any way that allows you to release a load of emotion and come to more quiet and calmness is brilliant.

What happens next

Each time I devote a few minutes (or longer) to creating when I feel burdened by emotions, I find that I feel a release. I feel lighter. I am able to move forward without the distress I started with — for a little while and often longer. 

Take a look at a few collages I made while I was away last week. Even with the limited materials I had grabbed to take on my trip, I came up with an idea to use my glue stick and rip up things I had on hand, to create compositions that felt cathartic.

I invite you to give one or more ways of creating a try the next time you need to restore your spirit.

When we are all able to stay grounded and focused, we can make our biggest contributions.

We can bring our unique gifts into the world.

And we can take actions that will make a difference, especially when we do so united with others who are like-minded.

Check out the Creators of Change page on my site, which has growing lists of people and organizations working to do good now.

And I am always happy to hear from you. Talk to me about what you yearn to create in your life, and what is in the way now. 

How to make each day a little easier

When people ask how you are, is your answer usually, “Busy!”? You may use other expressions that convey there's a lot — maybe too much — going on.

Maybe you live in over-drive, like so many accomplished professionals I know and speak to. Some wear their fast-paced, often stress-filled striving like a badge of honor. Some feel exhausted and are looking for a way to reduce the intensity.

Whichever camp you may be in, there is a strikingly simple way to make things easier, that I discovered and use all the time.

Self-talk can provide a huge assist

The frame of mind we choose, and the energy that is supported by our thinking, can result in very different experiences.

Consider these two ways to approach the same situation.

Scenario 1: 

This person sits down at her desk and looks over a huge list of things to do before the end of the day.

She says to herself, “This is going to be hard! It will take all day, and maybe into the evening, to get it done.”

She gets to work and pushes through the hours. She barely takes a break, and finds herself feeling irritable.

Scenario 2: 

Another person starts her day looking at a similar list.

She says to herself, “Wow, there’s a lot on this list! What if it does not have to be hard? What if it’s easy to get through these tasks? I have an abundance of time!”

She starts her work, feeling good about all she will accomplish. She moves from task to task, and takes a brief break each hour. She also makes sure to eat well mid-day.

Their outcomes

In Scenario 1, the day ends with a lot accomplished but she feels depleted. She gets home feeling weary and dreading more of the same for the rest of the week.

In Scenario 2, the day ends with a lot accomplished and she feels satisfied and eager to have a nice evening. She knows there is a lot to do the rest of the week, and knows she will approach each day with a similar orientation.

Turn around thoughts that make life harder

A good rule of thumb that will help you shift your self-talk to experience more ease and better outcomes is to turn around the thoughts that do not support you to bring your best energy to tasks at hand (and hamper your outcomes, too).

That’s right. You can reframe negative thoughts to be the opposite — thus turning them into in positive thoughts.

Our negative way of thinking is often on “automatic,” because we do it so regularly.

It’s easier to change those patterns than you may think.

Here are some examples. I’ll begin with a review of the common thoughts noted in the scenarios above.

1. “It‘s going to be hard.”

Most of us use this statement without considering its impact.

Here are a few ways this thinking can show up:
“Making our travel arrangements is going to be hard.”
“This will be a hard conversation.”
“It’s always hard to find the best solution to problems like this one.”

We set ourselves up for struggle when we think this way at the start.

By turning each around, we can feel positive, and maybe even look forward to the experience of making those travel arrangements or solving those problems. In the case of anticipating a “hard” conversation, a turnaround statement helps us defuse the heavy emotion and approach the conversation with more ease. This shift may even help you feel more confident.

2. “There’s not enough time.”

This is something I found myself saying nearly daily for years. One day, my coach looked at a full agenda of things we planned to get through in a day, and said, “There’s a lot here, and we have an abundance of time!”

Not only did her energy shift when she said that, mine did, too. We found that we moved through everything we intended, and really enjoyed the process.

I have been reminding myself that there is an abundance of time ever since, and it’s been a game-changer. My clients have loved adopting this approach, too.

3. “This is complicated.” 

Sure, some things are complex, but you can look at the same circumstances and say, “I can figure this out! It may not be so complicated.”

Can you envision how differently you will feel as you move ahead with this frame of mind?

4. “This is stressful.”

You might turn this statement around and tell yourself, “This is an interesting situation. It feels stressful, but it does not have to be.” 

What other negative thoughts can you notice, and start to turn around?

Start paying attention to your self-talk today

When you bring awareness to habitual ways of thinking that make your life harder, you are able to consciously make small (and significant) shifts in your thinking. Why not begin now?

If you try it, and see that day-to-day life becomes easier and more enjoyable, I would love to hear about what is working for you and the difference it’s making.

Leave a comment or email me me to let me know.

And now, I will return to my to-do list for the day. I know I have all the time I need to get through it!

Stay safe and well, and create your life with joy.